A/N… The first chapter was edited by Becca (Behindtheredlace)… This is my first attempt at writing a story making that of course fan fiction story too. I appreciate reviews and constructive criticism. Please nothing cruel! I'm not a writer for a living just doing this for fun.
CPOV
I wake up and my head is absolutely killing me. I glance around the bedroom and notice I am on top of the covers with the comforter from the spare room over me. Ana's side of the bed looks untouched like she had not slept there last night. Thinking about last night brings everything crashing into my head. I said some unforgivable things to my wife then I left her hurt and broken while I went out and got drunk with none other than Elena. I don't remember much after that. How did I get home and did I see or speak to Ana last night? Shit I can't remember. I get up and make my way to the kitchen.
As I sit at a bar stool I take out my phone and notice it is after 8am already. Shit I need to get to work I have an important meeting today and I need to prepare for it. I eat an omelet that Gail had made for me and finish my coffee; I let Taylor know I will be ready to head to work in about an hour.
Its 9:30 by the time I get into my office.
"Andrea coffee and pain killer" I say to my assistant first thing. I know I should not be so ill tempered with her but my head is really killing me and I'm a little irritated I have not heard from Ana. I know I should have not said what I did, but what did she expect? I will not be a good father and I know that, so did she really expect me to be overjoyed? I'm lost in thought and didn't notice Andrea had entered my office.
"Here is your coffee and some pain medicine Mr. Grey"
"Thanks Andrea, anything else?
"Yes Sir, Mr. Kotochi called and he would like to set up a meeting with you only thing is he only available to meet tonight." Shit he would only be available tonight. Shit I can't get out of this I have working on this deal to long to blow him off.
"Fine Andrea, make the arraignments for a dinner meeting"
After Andrea leaves with nothing more than a nod after my demand on her I decide I will text Ana. I pull out my blackberry and open up text. I noticed I have a message from Elena at the top so I open it. Holly Fuck she had the balls to text me after we agreed to no more contact; yes that I do remember. The message had been read I can only hope I read it and not Ana.
Christian: I to assume you went to work today.
Ana: Yes, why wouldn't I?
Christian: I have to work late.
A couple of minutes go by before she replies.
Ana: Is that true MY husband? Or is it to avoid talking to me about who you were out getting drunk with last night? FWD: Elena Lincoln: Christian it was wonderful to see you tonight. I'm so glad we spoke. Don't worry I understand now.
FUCK she did see the message. But is it really that big of a deal? I just had a few drinks with Elena, it's not like I took her to a playroom flogged and fucked her, or even had vanilla with her. No this isn't that big of a deal.
Christian: Nothing to talk about. I have to work late. Don't hold dinner and don't wait up.
I hit send before I even think about my reply. Shit why am I being so cold toward her? The sight of her absolutely broken and hurting last night flashes back into my mind. I love Ana with everything in me and here I am being an ass. I know I should talk to her about my fears on being a father. For about a second the word abortion flashed through my mind, but could I actually do that? Not only to myself but to Ana too. Abortion would be killing a symbol of our love, a child that carries half of us together. Confused with my own thought I grab the phone and call Andrea.
"Yes Mr. Grey?"
"Call Flynn. Get an appointment for in the morning"
"Yes Sir" And with that she hangs up.
I look at my phone and see Ana sent another text.
Ana: Ok. Goodbye.
Goodbye? What does she mean? Goodbye as in see you later goodbye? Or goodbye as in thanks for hurting me and being such an ass now fuck off goodbye? I quickly reply.
Christian: Goodbye?
I wait 10 min and nothing. I send off another text.
Christian: Ana?
Andrea comes into my office to inform me I have a meeting in 15 minutes in the boardroom. As she walks out I get another text from Ana.
Ana: I love you Christian. Always and forever I will love you. Goodbye.
I feel my chest tightening up and have hard time breathing. I dial Ana's number and after 2 rings it goes to voicemail. Fear is coursing through my veins now.
Christian: Dammit Ana answer me. What do you mean by goodbye?
No response. I call again and straight to voicemail.
I grab my phone and call Taylor.
"Tay" I cut him off
"My office NOW" I shout.
As I grab my stuff and rush out of the office I tell Andrea to cancel everything on my schedule for today. I don't even care right now that I may lose the deal with the Taiwanese. I need to know what Ana meant by goodbye and if the pain I feel in my chest is leading to a conclusion I need to find her and fast. I have to fix this I cannot lose her again. Taylor comes rushing toward me just as I reach the elevator. When we enter and the door closes I look at Taylor and in a voice I don't even recognize I tell him to find Ana.
I'm in the back of the SUV heading to where Taylor was able to track Ana's phone to. It's only a few blocks from her work. Why would she be over there and in the middle of the day at that? We pull up to the curb and I jump out before Taylor can even stop the SUV fully. I begin scanning up and down the sidewalk and across the street but see no sign of my wife. Taylor gets out and walks up to me he looks down at his phone and looks a little confused.
"Taylor where is she" I watch as Taylor keeps looking at his phone, he walks a few feet away looks at his phone looks at me than reaches into the garbage can next to him and pulls out Ana's phone. He walks back to me and hands me her phone.
I take her phone in my hand and just stare at it. Maybe it isn't hers, maybe it's someone else phone and she is just inside one of the shops. I unlock the screen gasp and fall to my knees. Staring at me from the screen is me and Ana and she has one of the happiest looks on her face. I can't breathe the pain and fear is stabbing away at my heart. Did Ana leave me? What the fuck have I done? I look up at Taylor and notice he has a look of pure horror on his face, that's when I feel it. The wetness on my face, I'm crying, me who does not cry am down on my knees on a sidewalk crying and I don't care who sees me.
"Taylor find her! Please find my wife and baby, please Taylor find my life" I barely breath out but I know he heard me. He helps me up and into the SUV. I can't take this pain I need Ana and yes I need our baby too.
"Taylor I fucked up!" And with that I throw my fist through the window shattering glass flies everywhere. I just need Ana, she is my breath without her I can't breathe.
