Health Class 101 With The Cullen's

Disclaimer: Twilight I do Not Own…. poor I…

I feel like I'm going slower with these updates, sorry guys! But here it is Rosalie's POV of her half day with the baby, poor chick seems rather powerless now…

Rosalie POV

"Alice! Alice! Where the hell are you?" I yelled into the empty house. Emmett and Jasper had already decided to go packing up the baby supplies. "Supplies," I growled. Alice had probably left me with this stupid doll to go shopping. I pranced up the stairs leaving the baby on the kitchen counter. Alice wasn't in her room, bathroom, closet, or Esme's blooming flower garden. "She went shopping for you…you better be happy that she left you here in the first place." I yelled at the baby back downstairs.

Alice had taken her cell phone and car keys from the alcove's holder, leaving me with a crying baby. WAIT, a CRYING BABY! "Ah, baby why the bleep are you crying?" Alice didn't want me to use language around the baby, so I compromised. The diaper stuck on the baby's bottom was ever bulging with each yell. "Shi…z!" I cried out grabbing my cell phone, even my nimble fingers couldn't dial Alice's number fast enough.

"Hello? Rosalie what's wrong, I hear crying."

"Like you didn't see this coming Alice, the baby is crying…I believed it peed or whatever the humans call it."

"I did see it sis, that's why I'm here at the store! Although, I did run into Jasper and Emmett, they picked out the most adorable high chair and I asked daddy if I could get one too and he-. Rosalie?"

I snapped the phone shut with a snarl, going shopping for the baby my butt. The baby was still crying in the background making me rush to the kitchen once again. "Baby please shut the fu- um, I mean up." I picked the baby up and rocked it like I had seen Esme do this morning before school. And yet, it still wouldn't shut it. I put it back on the counter and opened the buttons of the yellow one-sy.

Pinching the bridge of my nose, I undid the tape backing of the diaper and launched it into the open trashcan. "Yup," I said looking down, "It's a boy." I left the baby bawling dry tears to grab some paper towels off the counter. On my way back over, I remembered to grab the tape off of Esme's craft table. Closing one eye, I wrapped the towel diaper style over the baby's bottom. That seemed to shut him up for a little while.

"Honestly Rose, I was just waiting for that…I'm home!" I whipped around to see Alice, Emmett, and Jasper all carrying shopping bags. Emmett had their baby strapped to his chest by a new baby carrier. Alice sniggered, "It's a nice look for your hubby don't you agree Rose?" I picked the baby off the counter and launched it into Alice's hands. She caught the baby with one hand, and sarcastically blew her nails with the other. "Is that all you wanna do Rosie?"

I advanced towards her but Jasper stepped in the way, "You know I really can't allow you to hurt my wife…" "Out of my way you emo little powerful freak of a vampire…I need to kill Alice for a sec." (A/N: Thanks LilyPadADV!) Emmett grinned and stuck his baby in my face, "Aww wittle Rosie wants to kill Awice!!!" I smacked the baby out of the way and bared my teeth at Alice. She waved her hands, "Ooh, Rose I am so scared!"

"CHILDREN!" Emmett's last booming laugh bounced off the wall, I turned my torso and looked Carlisle in the face. He composed himself, "Discussion…now."

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There we were seated at the dinner table…all eight of us, sadly that eight didn't compose of Bella or Edward. Six vampires, two robots…Well, you could make it five vampires…I had no idea what Emmett was doing with the babies at this particular moment. Carlisle stared me down like you wouldn't know… "Rosalie," he began in his 'warning' tone. "What do you say to Alice?" I couldn't believe it! He was talking to me like some damn 1st grader! I looked at Alice sweetly, "I'm sorry Alice," She smiled back.

I waggled my finger, "Oh no I'm not done yet," Esme covered her eyes and gulped. "I'm sorry, that you are a shopaholic, I'm sorry that you are a deranged self-absorbed pixie, I'm sorry…THAT I'M SORRY!" That did it, Carlisle ran his hands through his hair and sighed, "I want both of you out…" I glared at him. "Now, I don't want to treat you like mortals…but if you can't settle this you're grounded! Alice! No more credit cards! Rosalie no more…" He attempted to make googly eyes, "…with Emmett."

Alice stood up and crossed her arms. After one final look at my scowl she turned on a dime and left the room. Jasper quickly followed at her heels. I sat for second, making it looked like I really cared, but like Alice I clicked out of the room close behind. Emmett was the only one left holding both babies; he turned to Carlisle and Esme…

"Great meeting huh?"

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"And that my dear children is the probabilities of child genes matching up to yours ALRIGHT, now I hope you've been taking care of your children over the past…day, and please remember I'm listening!" My eyelids snapped open as Mr. Molina called my name, "Ms. Hale, since you're so keen on this subject as to take a nap, what are the probabilities that a baby will have brown eyes if both parents indeed have brown eyes?" "It would be a strong probability Mr. Molina, because you see…" I went on with my drabble on genes; Mr. Molina gave a huff of frustration on not catching another Cullen sibling off guard.

Alice punched my side; I kicked her foot paying attention to scuff her heels. She groaned and stood up, the bell rang and all students but Alice, Jasper, Emmett and I jumped out the front door. Mr. Molina stared back surprised, "Kid's, what are you still doing here…(please…please leave now I want to get home)." Emmett grinned, "We love your class so much Mr. M-." I hit him in the gut Mr. Molina rolled his eyes and huffed under his breath, "Buncha lousy teenagers…"

Dragging Alice by her ear out the door, I nabbed my backpack out of my locker and hustled out the front door. Emmett and Jasper stared at me through the glass walkway and grinned with delight. Oh yes, yeah I knew the dismissed students were staring at me dragging my sister across the parking lot on an overcast day, but what was different!? I chuckled quite evilly and threw Alice into the back of my convertible…

I was almost to the driveway when Alice opted to pop up from behind the seat and speak.

"Did you buy any more diapers?"

That's that! The second chapter of Health Class With The Cullens! Please review and tell me what you think!!! It's either Jasper or Emmett next up to the plate, so don't forget to check in!