A/N: I would like to thank IsidoraAngst and Slashdlite for the reviews and i hope this explains alittle why they haven't told. They are scared into silence.


"Stop giving me attitude."


I have been told many time my attitude is the reason I get in trouble. I talk back, roll my eyes and sometimes get violent. Having an attitude is what keeps my sane. I survive the beatings; I couldn't survive the other stuff. But the beatings took one thing away from me, I am not allowed to leave the house, I have been homeschooled for three years now.

I was always the punching bag, I never let him take me without a fight. I even broke his jaw once when I hit him with a wine bottle. He would always make sure he left bruises that I could cover until I really pissed him off and Hunter gave me a black eye. I was sent to school the next day and someone called the cops to report him to child services after they heard me telling Jeff Hunter hit me. He only passed because he scared us into saying everything was okay and I got the black eye from fighting at school. Hunter scared us by holding a gun to Cody's head, he was only ten at the time.

Once the cop left he beat me until I was coughing up blood, then brought Jeff down and raped him while I had to watch. After that I have been homeschooled.

I get under Hunter's skin like nothing else. I always give him attitude and push every button he has sometimes just for fun but usually when he hurts one of the boys. I would much rather take it then let my boys take it. That's why I'm fighting him now, Justin is sick and I'm pissed.


" I'm not giving you anything Hunter. I'm not bring Justin down stairs. He is sick and he's staying in bed. You can shove his chores up your ass." I said throwing the wet dish towel on the ground. " He was up all night, he can't feed the fucking horses."

" You can either bring him downstairs or I'll drag him down. You choose Jason." Hunter said smirking down at me. I said nothing so he turned and started heading up the stairs. I picked up the dish towel from the floor and threw it at the back of his head. That would get his attention

Before I say anything his meaty fist connected with the side of my head, knocking me silly. I stumbled back hitting the counter. Hunter grabbed me by the neck and squeezed.

" Why do you make me do this Jason? Why can't you be a good boy like the others. All you do is cause trouble." He tsked as he lifted me off my feet by my neck.

I was seeing black spots and my head was heavy. I spit in his face before he slammed me against the cupboards. All I could think so was Justin would be left alone as the darkness overtook me.


" Stupid Jay. Why does he always get in trouble?"

" I don't know Coddles. He ain't broken after all of these years."

" Course I ain't broken Teddy Bear." I laughed softly before I started coughing. My throat was sore and my head hurt.

" Why did you fight with him?" Cody asked as he hugged a ratty teddy bear to his chest. He has had that stupid bear since he came here.

" He was gonna make Justin get up and I wasn't gonna let him cause Justin has been sick all night." I said getting Ted to help me sit up. Cody frowned even more and rubbed that bears ear. It was a nervous habit the boy always had. It was almost hairless now.

" So you let him beat you up?" Cody said frowning even more.

" Codes, it's better me then you guys." I groaned as my head spun. " I can handle it."

Ted and Cody gave each other a look before nodding. They know by now that can't argue with me. I laughed softly and laid my head back on the pillow. Cody moved closer and smoothed down my spiky hair.

" Teddy will you go get Jay some water?" Cody asked in that soft voice of his. The slightly older boys nodded before getting up and leaving the room.

" What's wrong?" I asked looked up at him. Cody always talks to me when things are buggin him and he can't talk to Ted.

" He could have kill you." He said sadly. " I don't know why you always fight with him. You could have just walked away. But no you had to be stupid and talk back." He said hitting my arm before he started sniffling.

I sighed and pulled Cody tight against my chest as he started sobbing softly. I rubbed his back trying to calm him down.

" Codes, stop crying. I'm fine, see still breathing and walking around." I said softly as I kissed the top of his head. Cody was always the most delicate out of all of us. He looks like a doll and it's probably our fault he's so delicate. Jeff and I act like his parents, Teddy never lets him lift a finger and Justin even protects him.

" It's just I'd be really sad." Cody said softly as he blushed. He sat up and grabbed his bear before giving me a smile. " Don't tell Teddy I was crying. He would get all protective."

I nodded and ruffled his hair. " I promise Cody. Where's the other boys?"

" Jeff is showing Evan all his chores and Justin is doing his homework downstairs." He said with a smile. " He is feeling better, We got him to get some soup and crackers. But he has to go to bed by eight." Cody laughed as he got up and set the bear back on his bed tucked under the covers. " I gotta help make supper, you stay until you feel better."

" Ofcourse Coddles." I said rubbing my face. " You go and cook something nice." I laughed as I laid back in my bed and closed my eyes. I was just going to rest alittle while longer. Then I need to get down stairs to show Hunter I'm fine.

Supper was normal. We all sat in the kitchen and Evan chattered the whole time and we tried to keep up with him. He was too cute for his own good. I knew we all liked him already, he was like a pixie all energy and smiles. Supper ended too fast for my liking since there was school for the other boys tomorrow we had to go to bed early. I could never sleep though; I could sleep tomorrow while Hunter was at work, his wife never checked on me. It was probably around three am when the old wooden floor boards started to creak. I flinched as I heard springs groan under extra weight.

"Mr. Helmsey, whatcha doin?"

I wanted to scream, he was taking Evan up here so we could all hear it. I looked over and I could see Cody's face in the dim light from the door. Tears were already rolling down his cheeks. This is one of the worse things he has done in a long time. We can't hear what goes on down stairs.

" Shh..Be quiet Evan. Just relax."

"Hey don't touch me there, stop please."

The minute I heard Evan start crying, I pulled my pillow over my face, trying to drown out the noise. It helped, barely.

It felt like hours but it may have only been minutes. I moved the pillow so I could hear Hunter's heavy footsteps going back down the stairs to his wife. We all waited a few minutes before we got out of our beds. Ted turned on the light as we went over to Evan's bed. The youngest boy was curled in a ball sobbing loudly.

Jeff piled his blue hair on the top of his head and looked very detached from this whole thing. After doing this for so many years I would be detached also. I watched him get on his knees by Evan's head and run his fingers through the hair.

" Evan, did he hurt you bad?" Jeff asked in a soft voice.

Evan just shook his head and cried harder. I rubbed my face roughly as I looked around at the other boys. Justin looked pale, Ted looked pissed and Cody was in tears. I went to the bathroom and grabbed a damp towel so we could get Evan cleaned up. I gave the towel to Jeff, the second he tried to touch Evan the younger boy started screaming.

" Fuck." I said before sitting beside the boy and pulling him against my side. I covered his mouth and tried to calm him. If he kept screaming Hunter would come back. " You have to be quiet and calm down." I said in a quiet voice. " Jeff is gonna clean you up then you will crawl into bed with one of us and we will fucking make sure he does not come back." I moved my hand and Evan stayed quiet.

We got him cleaned up and calmed down. Evan was quiet and shaking badly but the screaming stopped so we were okay for now. He was still attached to my side as Jeff got up and rubbed his neck. We had made the other three boys go to bed already. Now Cody is in bed with Ted and Justin is wrapped so tight in his blankets, I'm surprised he could breath.

" Jeff, Evan can stay with me. You go to bed okay." I told the slightly older boy as he rubbed his tired eyes.

" Okay Jay." He said yawning. Jeff ran his fingers through Evans hair and kissed my forehead as he went to his bed in the corner. I picked up Evan and went to my bed. He still hasn't said a word since he started screaming. I smiled slightly when I saw Cody's bear on the bed. I tucked Evan in and put the bear under his small shaking arms before lying beside him. He struggled for a second before relaxing in my arms. I held him tight against my chest and closed my eyes. I tried to block out the soft sobs coming from the boy beside me. I swallowed hard and whispered softly.

" You can't tell a soul."