Olivia sits up on the sofa momentarily dumbfounded. She doesn't know what to do. Would simply pretending she hadn't heard be the right thing? Or, should she confront him? It's not like she hasn't wanted him tell her what he feels for her. But she knows just as he does how complicated that would make things.
Calling up the feds to see if they had some essential undercover assignment that only she can do for a couple of months wasn't an option. She was in no shape. Problem solved. Decision made. Ignoring him it is.
Olivia no longer has the option of thinking about the problem. The medicine kicks in and she can't fight it any longer. She dozes off within minutes.
Several hours later she awakens to the sound of someone coming through her front door. She grabs her gun off a nearby table.
When she sees it's Elliot she puts it down but not before he spots the movement.
"Whoa Liv, it's just me." He says with a bag of food in his hand.
"Sorry, " She tells him putting the gun away. "I guess I've just lived alone for so long I'm not used to anyone coming in without knocking first." She adds laying back on the sofa and shaking her head over her nervousness.
"I figured with those pills that you'd still be knocked out." He tells her taking food containers out and putting them on her breakfast bar. "I just didn't wanna wake you."
"It's okay." She tells him sitting up. "So…what's for lunch?"
He just smiles and begins grabbing plates from a cabinet.
"Chicken salad on baby greens for you and turkey waldorf salad for me." He informs her. "Or we can switch if you want."
"No, it sounds really good." She says getting up to join him in the kitchen. "I'm hungry."
"Don't Liv." He says stopping her. "You're comfortable in there, I'll just bring the food to you."
Once he transfers the salads to the plates, gets some napkins and pours some iced tea, he sits down next to her on the sofa. She can't move any further away from him having chosen the end spot near the arm of the couch. They eat to the sounds of a Will Smith movie until Elliot decides to broach the subject she was content on ignoring.
"Liv." He begins. "When I was here earlier…" He pauses removing their plates and putting them in the dishwasher before returning to his spot next to her on the sofa.
"Yeah." She says trying to sound nonchalant while hoping, wishing and praying he wants to discuss anything else but his affections.
"I asked you something and you nodded…" He says nervously. "But I don't know if you heard me." He turns to her wanting her full attention but getting the side of her head instead as she watches the images on her television.
She was half out of it when he said it out loud to her the first time, but he doesn't know if he has the stones to tell her while she's fully conscious. If he hadn't almost lost her the day prior, the answer would definitely be no.
Olivia on the other hand is just as chicken as she's always been regarding the feelings she has for her partner. There is no way she's going to repeat what he said to her. Also, she's going to give him the opportunity to join in her feigned ignorance and lie to her about his profession of love.
The question is, will he?
"Um…" She says trying to pretend she's so into the movie though she's seen it several times before. "I don't know El, I was pretty out of it."
Elliot not one to back down from the challenge that he knows she's going to be, reaches for the remote and turns off the distraction.
Then, he scoots closer to his partner.
"So you don't remember what I asked you?" He questons looking intently into her eyes.
She doesn't want to lie to him so she deflects. "What do you think I missed that was so important?" She asks turning to him and folding her leg beneath her.
He pulls the hand from her uninjured arm to hold between both of his. Elliot looks down at their hands, takes a deep breath and looks back up into the waiting eyes of his best friend.
"I asked if you knew I loved you." He informs her. "That's what you nodded about."
He doesn't think he'd ever heard her do it before. But Olivia actually gasps, her mouth hangs open and her eyebrows are knit together.
She gets herself together after a moment and shuts her mouth. But she's still speechless. She didn't think he'd say it. Again.
"Liv." He says after about thirty seconds of silence. "Say something." He tells her losing some of his confidence.
"I…um…when…how do you know?" She asks pulling from his grasp to put her hand through her hair as is a nervous habit of hers.
Her response was a definite surprise to him. Elliot truly believes she knows how he's felt and in fact feels the same way. He thought maybe she'd be angry for risking the delicate balance that was their friendship and partnership. Or maybe she'd simply say it back and they would expound on it. But dumbfounded…that was totally unexpected.
"When?" He mimics. "I can't pinpoint when it happened." He says getting up to take their glasses into the kitchen suddenly needing something to do. "It's not like I can say it was a Thursday at 9 o'clock." He teases before sitting back down in her personal space. "But I do know that I love you…that I'm in love with you."
DAMN! was the first word that came to her mind. He went from plain old "I love you." to "I'm in love with you." which was a whole different ballgame in a whole other stadium. You could push her over with a feather.
"El…I don't know." She responds honestly. Olivia truly doesn't know what to tell him to make the last five minutes go away. She just wants to go back to her lonely but sane world where they avoided feelings and all talk of them.
"Ok." He says eerily calm. "Since you don't know how you feel, I think we should experiment."
She looks at him with a raised eyebrow before asking in a voice at least an octave higher. "What kind of experiment?"
"We kiss…" He begins.
"Excuse me?" She asks with wide eyes.
"Wait just hear me out Liv." He pleads. "We kiss. And if it feels the least bit weird or like you're kissing your brother…" He tells her inching closer. "You pull away and we forget this whole conversation ever happened."
"Wait." She says stopping him as he leans in. "How do you know you won't pull away first?"
Elliot just gives Olivia a look like she's asked him if the sun still rose in the east and set in the west.
"You're a beautiful, sexy woman and I'm a man." He says incredulously resulting in a smile from her. "Why would I do that?"
"Silly question." She says nodding in agreement.
"Okay, you ready then?" He says leaning in again.
"No El." Olivia says getting up and retreating into her kitchen for another glass of iced tea. She was suddenly very thirsty and nervous around him.
"No." He repeats dejectedly.
"What if neither of us pulls back." She asks leaning against her breakfast bar. "What'll happen to our partnership?"
"Don't know." He admits. "Haven't thought that far ahead."
"Wow." She tells him shaking her head. "You are a man aren't you."
"Well you didn't think we'd be partners forever did you?" He asks sincerely going to stand in front of her.
"No." She tells him almost inaudibly. "Just until I retired or one of us died." She adds worrying her bottom lip.
He takes her hand and leads her back over to the sofa and sits her next to him. Elliot holds her hand and begins in a voice usually reserved for victims and his children. "We've already been partnered longer than most in this unit…hell longer than most in the department."
"There's nothing wrong with that." She tells him feeling and sounding emotional all of a sudden. "We're a good team."
Seeing how he's affecting her in a way he didn't want to, he decides to let her off the hook. "You're right." He says picking up the remote. "And here I am trying to ruin that…just forget I said anything." He adds before releasing her hand and grabbing the remote leaving his hands in his lap.
It's Olivia's turn to look at him like he's grown wings or a second head. She reaches over to grab the remote that he left between them and turns the t.v. off again.
"You told me you're in love with me." She says with a hurt look in her eyes. "You can really just turn it off like that?"
"No Olivia." He begins turning towards her. "I can't just turn it off but I'll deal with it." He adds closing his eyes and resting his head against the back of her sofa. "If you're not comfortable with the idea of us merely kissing…then it's okay because I'm the one who sprung this on you."
"We're attracted to one another Elliot." She admits. "You know we wouldn't just stop at kissing."
He grins widely then lifts his head off her sofa to smile at her seductively.
"Really?" He asks edging closer to his partner. "No self control huh?"
She feels the blush spread across her cheeks knowing he can see it too.
"Elliot you're the father of five kids." She says regaining her composure. "I don't think I'm the one with self control issues." She adds raising a triumphant eyebrow.
"So what's it about then?" He asks sincerely, giving her some space.
"It's about messing with a good thing." She reveals turning to face the television again. "So let's just sit here like the two good friends we are and find a game to watch." She finishes reaching for the remote again.
Elliot reaches for it at the same time and the simple contact with her hand is electric. He lets his hand linger on hers before they both pull away never letting their eyes meet.
Just twenty minutes into a long slow inning and the two detectives have fallen asleep. Olivia's good arm rests up against Elliot's side and her head rests on his shoulder. His arm is draped gingerly over her shoulders careful to avoid her injured bicep.
A sudden crack of the bat simultaneously awakens them both. Olivia turns and looks at him then. She eyes his lips before Elliot slowly leans in. There is no move made to stop him this time as his lips descend upon hers.
Olivia turns into him leaning deeper into the kiss. She reaches up with her good hand and lays it against his cheek. Elliot instinctively puts his hands on her waist and furthers the kiss, circling her lips with his tongue before she acquiesces and lets him in. Olivia is the one to end the kiss nibbling on his lower lip before pulling away soliciting a grunt from him.
"That was…" She begins breathlessly touching her lips.
"…not weird." He finishes, releasing her and turning back towards the t.v.
"It didn't feel at all…" She tries, placing her hand in her lap.
"…like you were kissing your brother?" He rasps staring blankly at the screen. "But I knew it wouldn't be."
They both sit flush faced like a couple of teenagers that just finished necking on her parent's couch.
"Damn." She says suddenly. "What the hell are we gonna do now?"
He turns to her fully with a wide mouthed grin. "We could do it again."
She shakes her head and stands up needing to distance herself. Olivia's head had suddenly grown clouded sitting next to him. She needed space to think.
"Seriously Elliot, why'd you have to do that?" She asks, nervously running a hand through her hair.
"I'm sorry it just sort of happened, I…" He says scooting to the edge of her sofa preparing to explain before something dawns on him. "Wait a minute." He continues sitting back resting both arms behind himself on the couch. "As I recall you kissed me back." He tells her with raised eyebrows.
"That's beside the point." She says making a poor attempt at an argument. "Why Elliot?" She begins. "Why would you want to screw up a twelve year partnership?" She adds beginning to pace.
"Haven't we been getting along?" She continues, basically talking to herself as Elliot just nods and watches her pace.
"Don't you like working cases with me?" She goes on not letting him speak as he continues to nod in response.
"Aren't we good as friends?" She asks emphasizing the last word. Again he nods.
"Then why?" She asks one final time before she stops pacing.
Elliot studies her for a brief moment and then gets up. He walks slowly to stand in front of Olivia. He takes her face in both hands, leans in languidly enough to give her time to halt the advancement or pull away. But years of attraction, chemistry and the strength taken to ignore it went out the window during their first kiss.
When she doesn't stop him he knowingly smiles before kissing her tenderly and deeply as she raises her hand to place in the middle of his back. When he breaks the kiss she still has her eyes closed for a moment before looking into his.
"I already told you why Liv." He says reaching up to put a stray hair behind her ear before they release one another. "I'm in love with you." He adds stuffing his hands into his front pockets. "Look me in the eyes and tell me you don't feel the same."
She can't do it. Olivia can't lie to him. She pinches the bridge of her nose, closes her eyes and looks at the floor taking a deep breath.
"That's what I thought." He tells her stepping away. "Then why is it you're kissing me back one minute and telling me we shouldn't ruin our partnership the next?" He asks going to a nearby closet to get his jacket.
"Where are you going?" She says suddenly worried.
"If you're gonna push me away…" He begins scrubbing his hand over his face. "I don't have any choice but to go." He adds walking towards the door. "You're due for your meds they're in your bedroom on the nightstand." He continues, opening the door. "I'll be back later to check on you but I can't be here right now."
He closes the door quietly behind him and Olivia is left alone with her thoughts. She knows she hurt him and she hates herself for it. Tears pool in her eyes and she doesn't bother trying to wipe them away.
