Chapter 1. Awakening
Can the dream, in which you meet the closest people you once lost, be called a nightmare? You feel so overjoyed because you finally got a chance to see a priceless person again. You realize you have almost forgotten how he or she looked like. As time passes, the image gets blurry. And your imagination starts idealizing the person, filling in all the details that were erased from your mind. Then he or she goes before you, looking like an angel on the earth and trying to say something. Something important. Something that he or she never got the chance to say. Why do I call it a nightmare? The thing is that such anticipated meetings do not last long enough. And you're striving to imprint every single detail and every movement in your memory... And that little boy was trying to do the same.
"Are you sure?" the voice of some stranger was coming from a distance.
"Our world will come to an end one day. And I don't want to lose him too. I won't let it happen again," the woman that was holding a boy in her arms, replied too confidently. The boy didn't understand a thing. Or he didn't want to. He didn't care what the woman was saying and was just glad to see her again, to be near the dearest person in the world. It doesn't matter what she says or does. It doesn't even mean that she's fading away. Everything else is gone. There's only this blinding light and two silhouettes. A man and an idealized image of a woman. And the only thing that matters now is that she's with him. Again.
"You know, you're challenging the old way of living... and the new one. And, of course, her. Especially her. If she wakes up..."
"That's why I'm going to create a world in which she would have no place. A world, where my son will finally be happy." After these words, the little boy touched the woman's face with his tiny little paddies. And she smiled as brightly as only a loving mother could.
"You're saying you want to kill God?"
When the little boy heard the last word, he suddenly got a bad feeling. As if his whole little world started falling apart. It seemed like invisible waves swept through. There was something in the air that made everybody shiver. The church bells ring could be heard from a distance, becoming louder and louder.
Bong-bong-bong-bong.
"She's not a God, so she has no right to control us." the woman snapped. However, it didn't change the way the little boy felt. His world has changed now and has become somehow deformed. It looked like millions of cobwebs tangled it. The boy was trying to catch on the fading image of the woman... The glass in front of him was still shattering and the sound of the bells was becoming louder.
Bong-bong-bong-bong.
"The Committee does not share your opinion."
"They don't know what I know."
Some weird and overwhelming images popped up in the boy's head. He was pushing them back, not wanting to watch. He did not want to remember.
Bong-bong-bong-bong.
"Do you know what will happen to your husband if he loses someone again?"
"He's strong and he'll do anything for me."
Some images floated before his eyes. These scary, painful images he was trying to forget so hard. He saw the lab, lots of flickering silhouettes, and his father, wearing a lab coat. The father who, all of a sudden, froze on the spot. The father, who has forgotten about his son. The father, who got the better of the pain of loss. The father, who has lost everything.
Bong-bong-bong-bong.
"And what about the boy?"
"He'll understand when he sees me again."
The last words echoed in the boy's head. He could not figure out what exactly he had to understand. Oh, no. He didn't want to understand anything. He just wanted to stay with his mom. Is this a crime? Why does he have to part from her? Why should he see her later and not now? What's the point?
Bong-bong-bong-bong.
The blinding light started going out, and there was only an impenetrable darkness. The silhouette of a man was gone. Two flickering lights appeared on his place, as if someone was watching them from the sidelines.
"Wake up!" No, no one has said that. It was someone's thought... right in the boy's mind.
Bong-bong-bong-bong.
"I am so sorry," the woman muttered. And then, her image began fading too fast. The boy tried to touch her face again, but his fingers treacherously slid over the cracked glass, on which the blood stains remained. The stains of his own blood.
Bong-bong-bong-bong.
"Come back to me," the stranger's thought popped up in his mind again.
"It's going to be alright, my treasure," the woman pushed the boy, and he went towards the red lights. Right in the darkness. He could see how a hint of regret flashed on her face. Like she wanted to tell him something. She wanted to tell him what future awaits him. But she hesitated. And the thundering ring of bells was gradually turning into a nasty squeak.
Bong-bong-bon-bon.
"The time has come."
The woman just vanished, and the boy tried to scream, but couldn't. He couldn't even utter a sound. He stepped up in the darkness, trying to reach out to something, but an irresistible force ice-locked him.
Bo-bi-bi-pi.
The boy wished to see the woman again. He just wanted to spend more time with his mom. The deafening squeak humming in his head grew stronger and stronger.
Pi-pi-pi-pi.
It seemed like something tried to drag him out of his dream, shaking his mind with bare hands and swearing enough to rouse the dead. So loudly and so nasty.
Pi-pi-pi-pi.
He kept clinging to such elusive and pleasant dream, trying not to pay attention to the vile beeping. It seemed to come out of the farthest corners of the universe right into his head.
Pi-pi-pi-pi.
"I must make it stop."
The boy tried to put this idea into action. He idly reached out to the source of the nasty noise, hoping to silence the thing that woke him up. It took some time to grope for the treacherous alarm clock standing on the bedside-table.
Pi-pi-pi-pi.
"Oh, come on!"
Pi-pi-pi-pi.
Having driven away the desire to throw this annoying beeper into a wall, the young man reluctantly opened his eyes. And the simple alarm clock turned off immediately. The unpleasant beeping stopped and the young man took a sigh of relief.
7:22 in the morning.
He rolled back and fixed his gaze upon the ceiling that he held somehow dear. Over the years, he examined all the cracks and wrinkles on it. He could have sworn that this ceiling would always be there when he wakes up. On the one hand, this thought calmed him down, because there is nothing more beautiful in this world than constancy. But again, he can't stay at his uncle's forever. And sooner or later he will have to leave this house. As any son has to leave his parents to start a new life.
Home. Was it his home then? Or it was just a shelter of some kind? The young man used to think of it as of an emergency shelter. However, as it turned out, there is nothing more permanent than a temporary thing. So he could say that it was his home. Of some kind.
"You really think so, Shinji?" he asked himself.
He cast a look at the alarm one more time.
7:26.
"Damn it," he swore silently. Sometimes the time passes at breakneck speed.
The slumbrose feeling has vanished as if by magic. And all the thoughts, which didn't bode well for him, have vanished at once. They could have evoked the unhappy childhood memories.
He was still so lazy, but somehow managed to get out of the bed. He absentmindedly pulled back the curtains. Sunlight flooded into the tiny room that was on the second floor. Shinji was glad that the windows looked to the South, and not to the East. After all, in this case, he wouldn't even need an alarm clock. But he definitely wouldn't want to wake up at the crack of dawn.
He didn't like much the view of the Nagoya city from the window of his room. Across a narrow one-lane highway, the three-storey apartment building stood. So, to his regret, Shinji couldn't admire the scenery in the morning. All major cities of Japan have similar residential areas, where the houses are literally placed side by side. A large wood meadow westward of his apartment was the only thing that he liked in this neighborhood. If you go to the balcony and turn your head to the right, you might see the tree-tops. As for the rest, the whole city was like a concrete jungle, wrapped up by the cables.
These cables were practically everywhere. They wrapped the houses like snakes constrict the prey. Every Japanese city is a real snake pit. Some believe that's romantic, but Shinji thought that this widespread picture was depressing and hopeless. Snakes eat everything they see.
Having stifled a desire to catch a breath of fresh April air, Shinji idly grabbed a towel and walked to the bathroom. By all accounts, in half an hour he should get away to Chigusa High School, but he only needs half an hour to get there. In short, he must be in the classroom in an hour. The young man took a breather again. He hated to hurry, but all the mathematical calculations were bringing him to life as quickly as no alarm could.
Shinji pulled the doorknob of the restroom, but it happened to be locked. More likely, his cousin Otoya occupied it. That speaks to the fact that his cousin is much more vigorous than Shinji today. Or it's all about the old habits of a baseball player. He used to get up early to go for a run. But Otoya wasn't really a person, passionate for cleanness, so he didn't need too much time.
"Hey you, frowny face!" the brother came out of the bathroom, smirking.
"Yeah, good morning," the young man yawned in response.
"You're a little late today. Had a nice dream too, huh? Come on, tell me."
"Well, not really. I don't ever remember if I had any," Shinji mumbled, trying to sneak into the bathroom.
"Yeah, sure. I see your mouth watering. Some chick came for your soul! I bet you were on fire!"
Having said that, Otoya slightly elbowed his cousin.
"Even if she did, she was looking for you then."
"Oh, come on. Don't mess it up! Okay, you'll tell me at breakfast. Hurry up and go spruce yourself up. We don't want her to wait for us again. Otherwise we'll be..."
"Douche bags..."
"That's it. See? You're a quick thinker!"
Shinji just nodded, closing the door behind him. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Otoya getting down to the kitchen. He silently thanked him for giving the positive emotions in the morning. Otoya was right. You can't make Mana wait at the crossroads, the place that has been their rendezvous point for many years.
Shinji's own reflection made him grow sad again. He saw a frowned person with messed up nut-brown hair. Gray-blue eyes looked so tired, and he got a feeling he needs to sleep for a couple hours at least. He lightly slapped his cheeks and tried to crack a smile. It didn't look well.
Shinji had a wash and went back to his room. It was so neat that emphasized the clean habits of the young man. He grabbed a school bag and put books and copybooks in it. And, he surely didn't forget the Sony Walkman. His father gave it to him when Shinji was little and mom was still alive. It was his father who was kind and still cared for him. Yeah, he wasn't perfect at the time, but he still could be called dad. But after Shinji's mother died, he has changed a lot.
The young man couldn't understand why he was still using this player. Maybe, because it was the only gift his father ever gave him. Meaning that somewhere deep inside, Shinji cherished some vague hope, buried under layers of hurt and disappointment. But this hope had no way out. That's why Shinji touched the letter, received from the father a month earlier, only twice: when he got it and when he was cleaning the house.
"Come here. Ikari Gendo."
That's all his father wrote him in such a long time. In the envelope, there were lots of papers that apparently contained the telephone data, cards, photos, and the badge. But he couldn't still make up his mind to take a look at them, let alone to call him. Only four cold words could kill any sign of happiness or joy. Let alone hope that Ikari Gendo, as a great undertaker, buried once for all.
Shinji didn't tell anyone about the contents of the envelope. He thought that this relic should remain a mystery and be put in a box with old things in the far corner of the attic. This is where it belongs. And then, someday, when he has kids, he will open this letter to remind himself that he should be a good father, not like Gendo.
Shinji quickly changed his clothes to a school uniform: black trousers and a white sleeveless shirt with the embroidered emblem of Chigusa High School.
Otoya was greedily devouring bacon and eggs. Hiro, Otoya's father, was absorbed in the newly bought LCD TV that cost a fortune. He had over a zillion fights with his wife because of it. However, any man is a child, only a big one. And the toys are getting bigger too. So Hiro could not get enough of his new toy.
Talking heads were on and on about some nonsense that didn't interest Shinji at all. The main topics were: politics, then, surely, foreign policy, the economy, and wars. And again: politics with the economy, economy, politics... It is a vicious circle.
"…a demographic catastrophe. Official statistics report a decrease in Japan's population to 79 million…"
At that time, Otoya's mother, Yaory, was cooking bento for every member of the family, plus one. Shinji was that "plus one." She cast a disapproving glance at him and continued. The young man knew that Yaory didn't like him much and was upstage with him. But that's as far as it ever went: only unkind remarks and baleful looks. However, every time it made him feel excluded. Shinji didn't blame the woman, but still, it didn't feel good.
"...the way to make the economy grow cannot be understood yet. Business people are skeptical of the measures taken by the Cabinet of Ministers…"
"Good morning," Shinji forced himself to speak as he was taking a seat near Otoya.
"Morning," the father muttered, having eyes glued on the TV.
Yaory didn't say anything.
"Bon appetit," Shinji murmured, digging in the same dish that his brother was eating. It was incredibly tasty, as always. The mistress knew how to cook. She never used cooking to take it out on the "extra mouth to feed." Shinji could not thank her in person as he had no idea how she would respond. But he still wished to express his feelings, so he said: "It's delicious."
"Uh huh, I'm loving it!" Otoya added.
"..all the money will be spent on the development of the Self-Defense Forces. In particular, the financing of aviation and fleet will increase…"
"They completely lost sight of everything. What is the country coming to?" the father of the family boiled over the TV.
"Catch a break and have a meal" Yaory gave her husband a hearty slap upside the head for a show.
"No, just listen to them!" Hiro exclaimed. "The health care and social programs will be slashed. And the money will be given to the military! In our generation, this would sound absurd, and these madmen would dig a political grave to themselves."
"Our time was over seventeen years ago, thanks to that meteorite," the wife said. "Since that time, we have been living in another world. And you're still surprised."
"...the consultations on "Breakthrough-2017" site are held. It is expected that the common stance of the USA, Russia, Germany, and Korea on the NERV Special Agency would be developed…"
"This doesn't mean that our kids don't have the right to live a decent life that we had before the Impact. It seems that all the diplomats exploded along with Tokyo. And now they can only rely on brute force. If they want to throw their money about, they'd better spend it on construction and reconstruction. Because the prefectures still look as if the catastrophe happened only yesterday."
"Our kids?" the wife sniffed in contempt, having missed everything else.
"Yes, our kids." the head of the family nodded, casting a glance at Shinji. Yaory rolled her eyes and leaned back in her chair.
"...provocations in Hubei province. The Republic of China Armed Forces promised to give ground of the Chinese PLA in case..."
"You want to talk about it again?" Hiro crossed his arms, raising his voice. "We have been looking after him for almost twelve years, since his early childhood. This is a very long time. Over the years, he has become the part of our family. That's why I think Shinji is ours. And you're still acting like a little girl."
Otoya already has eaten his breakfast and only nodded to his father. He was afraid to agree with him, not wanting to quarrel with his mother.
"…the station. NASA and Roscosmos have moved to the third stage of a joint manned lunar program. The landing of a man is expected in two thousand twenty-sixth year, for the first time after the "Apollo" program…"
The very same "hero of the day" tried not to interfere with the conversation. He just glanced at Yaory, who was ready to object but missed her chance.
"We took care of him and almost put him on his feet. Together, Yao. We're related by blood. And you're telling me that after all this, Shinji isn't ours? And he's not family?"
The woman thought of words trying to smother up the scandal. She had a different opinion of Shinji, even though it has gradually changed over the years. At first, she simply couldn't stand him. But time was passing, slowly and surely. A constant dropping will wear away a stone.
"...helium-3. Industrial production is to be carried out in the forties after the construction of the lunar center…"
"Guys," she started talking and an artificial smile appeared on her face. It looked like she tried to wear such a familiar mask. "Why don't you hurry to school? It's already five minutes to eight."
Otoya elbowed Shinji, implying that they should listen to this advice before the scandal started and the kitchen turned into the battlefield. The boys thanked the mistress, rose from the table and headed for the door, taking schoolbags with them.
When they were leaving the house, they heard some snatches of the conversation:
"...how can you not understand that this is not my…"
"...time already passed. And you still..."
"…you only say that because of the money that is sent by his..."
"...don't say that!"
Shinji brisked up his pace trying to get away from this. Once again he decided to run away from the problem. What could he do now? All his timid attempts to somehow get closer to Yaory failed miserably. He only made everything worse.
They went down the concrete steps, passed the garage, came out through the lattice gate and moved straight along the road with densely built-up houses. Shinji called this street the "Melancholy Avenue." The buildings looked better before the disaster of September 13, 2000 alias the Impact. This district was quite presentable back in the day. These days it only makes him feel melancholic. And today it only got worse because of another fight in the house. The young man wished to get out of here at the earliest moment. He didn't want to see these rickety huts, the paint on which came off long ago. It seemed like the wolf has finally dropped the sheep's clothing and showed his fangs. Shinji did not have the desire to be the Little Red Riding Hood, but he also couldn't find the courage to look the problem straight in the eye.
"Hey-Hey, Shin, back off!" Otoya caught up with him. "If you go at such a rapid-fire pace, we will break into perspiration at school!"
He was absolutely right. It was hot in the street as should be in spring, and the bright blue sky was clear and there was not a single cloud. The hot weather outside was so not like the coolness in the house, where there was an air conditioner. It seemed like the sun was going to burn them before they approach the school. And it's an early morning. By midday, it will probably be as hot as in hell.
"I just hurry to the park," he clumsily shut back, not slowing down the pace. "I don't want to keep her waiting!"
Otoya cheerfully clapped him on the shoulder.
"You weren't so cheery in the morning! Oh, you miss her already? Why won't you ask her out on a date, huh?"
"What date? We're friends." Shinji said the last words in a casual tone. He did believe it himself but had a terrible sinking feeling. There was a small imperceptible detail called hope that was still smoldering in his heart. But he didn't want to cling to it, chase rainbows and, especially, didn't want to hurt anyone if something goes wrong. And something would definitely go wrong. So Shinji was quite satisfied with the current situation and didn't want to change a thing.
"You know nothing, brother!"
"Yeah, like you do, Romeo..."
"FYI, two girls have already made a declaration of love to me," Otoya proudly stated. "There's also one girl that gave me a look."
"Well, you should make a harem."
"You know I like only her, right?"
"What do I have to do with this?"
"Here's the problem: she likes you more than me. Yet. So yes, you have a lot to do with this."
"Uh huh, don't give me that!"
"Shin, come on, use your brain!" Otoya slightly tapped Shinji on the head. "I'm giving you a head start as your big brother and you don't want to use it. Anyway, go and ask her out! For me, it's really easy to find a girlfriend. Easy-peasy."
"Then you go ask her out if you're so confident."
"I'll take and do this! And you'll get a whole lot of nothing!"
"I need it like a hole in the head!" Shinji tried to look indifferently on purpose.
"I mean it, Shin. A year ago, when I saw you with her, I thought that you finally would be happy! And it turns out…"
"Not everyone's like you. You have only one thing on your mind. And I... I don't want to ruin our friendship over trifles."
"Yeah, sure. You know, during this year... Oh, okay... To hell with you. If you miss your chance, don't complain after."
Shinji tried to make a condescending face and said:
"I step back before my big brother!"
But he clearly wasn't a great actor, so Otoya just smiled at his lame attempts to be arrogant.
"Barnstormer!"
"Oh, shut up."
"I love you too, brother!"
They had to reach Nishiyama Junior High School that was a couple of blocks away. Both brothers kept such fond memories of this school. At that time, Shinji was unsociable and distrustful. He almost shut off himself from the world. Luckily, Otoya treated him well, taking him everywhere and trying to cheer him up. Once Hiro's son even confessed that he always dreamed of having a little brother or sister. But, unfortunately, Yaory hurt her stomach during the Impact. Then all the people in the world, including the Japanese, focused their efforts on the survival. It doesn't mean that some poorly qualified doctors executed the operation, but it was all about the severe shortage of specialists, equipment, and medicines. No one thought whether she would be able to have children or not. The question was would she survive or not.
That's why a four-year-old Shinji, who'd dropped from the clouds on Rukubungi family, became a brother to Otoya. As some kind of consolation. He was his cousin and that was enough.
However, the joy started fading away quickly because Shinji turned out to be a problem child. He was quite independent, a quick study, and never behaved like a brat. But at the same time, his temper left much to be desired. Shinji was quite a loner even when his mom was alive, and after that everything just got worse.
Hiro quickly gained Shinji's respect and trust. But it took lots of years to trust Otoya. He had several assumptions in this respect: Gendo and Hiro are blood brothers, therefore they look alike. So, Hiro was like a father to Shinji. The father he has never had. However, Otoya has never told it to anyone.
Today, Shinji got depressed again because of the morning fight. He was reminded that he's no one in this house. A stranger. Even Otoya's encouraging words didn't help. The young man was buried in his thoughts, building an invisible barrier with the outside world. He wasn't going, but wanderung next to the cousin, only occasionally giving him one-word answers.
The guys took to the road and turned to the North, towards Nishiyama Junior High School. They had to go to the Nishiyamanaka Park that was across the street from the school. Even though the street was more spacious than in the alleys, the houses still stood side by side. Countless wires and cables muffled up all the buildings. From this spot, it seemed that the city was occupied not by snakes, but by the unknown urban spider that covered all and everything with its cobweb.
Something caught Shinji's attention, taking his mind off the buildings and his family. Across the street, some girl was waving to them. It was his classmate. It was rather easy to recognize her as she was carrying a violin and a case in her hands, and was wearing a white hat with large margins. From under the hat, short chestnut hair that barely touched her shoulders could be seen. All the doubts were dispelled: she was wearing the Chigusa school uniform. It consisted of a black pleated knee-length skirt, a white sailor's jacket with an emblem on the chest, and red and black bow at the neck. If not for this school uniform, the girl could easily be confused with some princess.
And how Shinji managed to become friends with her? He was lost in conjectures. Nevertheless, meeting her in Nishiyamanaka Park has become a good tradition.
"Hi, Mana-chan!" Otoya shot out, taking away her violin case. This action has become so familiar that she pretended to resist only for the sake of decency.
"Don't, I'll carry it! I need to practice!"
"You want me to call you Kirishima again?"
"It's a blow under the belt," the girl said, giving him the precious instrument. "Thank You."
"Good girl!"
"Hey ho!" she pouted. "And why our Shin-kun is so gloomy again?"
"Our Mr. I-always-feel-blue didn't get much sleep. Again."
"Should I move away? I guess I embarrass you. You could talk about me in private," Shinji petulantly grumbled. Yet the presence of optimistic Mana seemed to energize him. So he certainly wasn't going anywhere. "Come on, we'll be late."
Everyone agreed since in Chigusa School one will be harshly punished if he or she skips lessons. Let's say, he or she would be cleaning all the sports grounds.
"You should be glad that someone's gossiping about you," Mana chuckled in response, and her smile softened Shinji's heart. His mood was definitely improving.
"Why is that?"
"That means you interest the gossips!"
"I need it like a hole in the head."
"You sound like a broken record, Shin," Otoya grinned.
"I'm not Shakespeare."
"What if I am?" the girl squinted and leaned closer to him, drawing all the attention to her.
Shinji scratched his head and responded:
"Well, maybe. In some way!"
"Of course!" the girl happily snapped out. "Have I ever let you down?"
"Well," Shinji scratched his cheek with a finger, opening his imaginary diary, "a year ago, I stayed at your place and couldn't get home cause it was too late. And that's only because someone wanted to stand out in the club. And what happened next? That's right, I stayed late with you, trying to teach you how to play violin with a partner. Aizawa-san is just like that: always bossing around."
"I just wanted to show Minami-san that I know how to play the violin!"
"Yeah, remind me: why did you drag me into this?"
"Well, you were my only classmate in the club," Mana smiled apologetically. "I didn't know anyone there, so I had to say that we were good friends."
"Huh, good friends," Shinji skeptically remarked. "Friends that didn't know each other until High School. At all."
"Come on, I didn't want to practice with Kazuo-kun."
"What's wrong with him?"
"Nothing. It's just he seemed weird then... He looks like a son of the Yakuza!"
"I'll tell him that later."
"No!" Mana yelled and grabbed Shinji. "Don't, please don't! I'll do anything, just don't tell him!"
"Okay, okay, just stop shaking me!"
"Thank you so much!"
"Kazuo-kun," Otoya wedged in. "Isn't that the skinny kid with the glasses?"
"Uh-huh," Mana muttered.
"He's totally no mafioso!" He burst into a hearty laugh. "He's so skinny that if you give him a blow, he'll fly away."
"Have you seen his eyes? They're like Yakuza eyes! As if he'd already been in so much trouble that he lost count! He caused so many deaths... I suppose he wheedles debts out of people using a large bat!"
"I'll pass it to him," Otoya repeated Shinji's words with the very same face expression.
"You're not Shakespeare too," Shinji smirked.
"Oh, no! You, me... Just like brothers!"
"Yeah, you have quite an imagination there, Mana-chan," Otoya smiled.
"I can't help it," she said in a repentant voice. "When someone plays an instrument, my imagination starts working."
"And how does Shin look like when he's playing his cello?"
Shinji pricked up his ears.
"Let me think," Mans touched her lips with a finger. "He's probably Hachi."
Otoya burst into laughter that sounded worse than the neighing of a horse. He didn't care that the passers-by were staring at him.
"Whaaat?" the only thing Shinji could say.
"Well, when you play the cello, it seems that you're always waiting for something," the girl muttered. "Like you're telling everyone you're sleeping right now or everything around you isn't real. And you're waiting for your real life to start. Something like that."
"Over the eight years that I have been playing the cello, I have never heard anything like that," Shinji said. "I shouldn't have listened to anyone and start to play it…"
"But you're such a good player!"
"Practice makes perfect," he waved. "You have an ear for music. You're better than me. In two years, you have achieved a lot. It took me years to do it."
"I still play worse than you."
"Tell me that in a couple of years, when we will be graduating."
"Oh, as if you're not going to improve your skills by that time."
"With my enthusiasm..." he rolled his eyes.
Mana stood angrily with her hands on her hips, not going to give up. More precisely, she wanted Shinji to give up.
"But you love music. You listen to it all the time on your player!"
"Let's not go crazy!" he whiffed.
Mana incredulously squinted. And Shinji thought that she was going to scheme against him. As if that wasn't enough.
"Shin, why don't you take your cello home?" Otoya offered, shaking the case with the violin. "It would be an extra practice."
"Will you carry the case for me? I'll carry the violin."
"Well," Rokubungi Senior figured. "I don't really want to."
"Yeah, and I just love carrying it! I can barely drag myself through this heat…"
"I just figured that it would be nice if you played at home more often. Mom likes the classics, you know."
Shinji spread his hands. He'd be happy to do it, but it's quite unpleasant to carry it.
"Maybe, once a month," he said joylessly.
"That's good. Right."
It doesn't mean how much Otoya hoped to help Shinji improve his relationship with Yaory. Shinji doubted that playing the cello at home would change the situation. He has fallen under the impression that her fundamental attitude towards him will never change. Yaory can only get used to it. But that's already happening. She certainly won't change her mind.
"By the way, Shin-kun," Mana shamelessly interrupted his thoughts, "Minami-san forgot to tell you yesterday that today we will be rehearsing Bach's "Air".
"Air on a G-string," the young man corrected her with a noticeable Japanese accent. "And how will we perform it, if we have only two violins and one cello? Okay, two more violins will do. But Ishikawa-san and Yamada-san have graduated. You don't need wind instruments here, as well as the piano. That is, at least two people will not be able to play. And this is wrong."
"Improvisation!" she tried to impersonate someone but failed and puffed out her cheeks. "Takashi-san can play the second cello, and Minami can ask the older brother to lend an electronic piano for Kazuo-san. And we're not going to perform the "Air" on the stage of the Koyo Conservatory of Music. We'll limit ourselves to the stage of our school during the festival."
"I didn't understand anything," Otoya wedged in. "But we still have a couple of months."
"That's the point! It takes time for Takashi-san and Kazuo-san to get used to new instruments, for us to find new talents among freshmen, to learn, and to play... and in the twinkling of an eye, the fall will come!"
"I'd take something from romantic music. For instance, Strauss or Wagner. And no one would fall asleep during the performance, I hope."
"I thought you loved Bach. And last year, we didn't put anyone to sleep."
"I love Bach. But I believe that it's not a great idea to perform it in front of the school auditorium, which was listening to Paganini last year. Try sleeping there."
"Oh, I did!"
Both Shinji and Mana angrily glanced at Otoya.
"I'm kidding, you guys! I remember you playing. And your Aizawa was dropped with sweat. Like she was playing baseball with us and going through all the innings."
"Well, that's her. She's obsessed with it. Long story short, "Air", Shinji. "Air"! All complaints should be sent only in written form and given to Minami-san," the girl concluded.
"Why, God, why?" Shinji moaned. "We could choose something else."
"No, we couldn't. You know her: at first, we need to create a problem, and then overcome it heroically."
"There's hardly someone who would make her understand that she can ascend the Fuji herself?"
"You'll have time to complain. And now let's go down to business."
Shinji took a deep breath in response.
"Come on," Mana continued "You'll have your reward."
"Oh, really?" Shinji doubted. "And what will I get?"
"Who knows," the girl replied dreamily.
When crossing the high-speed road 217, Shinji noticed that there were more cars and people than before. Everyone was hurrying: some to work, some – to school. The city was waking up and coming to life after a night of rest. He liked to cut into the stream and lose himself in musing. He didn't forget the player and he'd listen to the music now but considered that it wouldn't be nice. Meanwhile, those two were talking about something. The morning was definitely getting better and better, and the mood of the young man was improving.
"How do you do that, Mana-chan?" Otoya suddenly asked.
"Do what?"
"Cheer my brother up. I mean it! He rarely argues or shares his opinion with someone. Would you give me a couple of private lessons?"
Shinji only rolled his eyes. He wanted to close his ears as his friends were talking about him again. When he's around.
"Well," Kirishima stumbled, thinking, "I radiate special spiritual energy!"
"Here's just one little prick that doesn't appreciate your efforts," he dug Shinji in the side. "Maybe we should leave him, Mana-chan?"
"What will I be doing without Shin-kun? I'll be lost. Everyone in the club will eat me alive!"
"You can eat anyone yourself," Shinji shrugged.
"Hey, I can get offended!"
"See, Mana-chan?" Otoya tried to hide his smile but failed. "What did you find in my moody brother? Let's go for a walk once. Alone."
The girl blushed for a second, but then pulled together. A long-awaited excitement could be seen in the eyes. It's time to take the offensive!
"Are you jealous, Otoya-kun?" she asked sarcastically, grasping both brothers' arms. "Don't worry, I love you both equally!"
Shinji got embarrassed by such a confession and tried to unleash his hand delicately, but his cousin seemed amused. He locked her hand, and their fingers intertwined.
"Aren't you afraid that you can be the cause of the fight of two brothers?" Otoya ominously asked.
"I'd be lying if I said that it would be unpleasant for me," she snatched out her hand and turned to the second brother. "Would you fight for me, Shin-kun?"
Shinji was taken aback and becme as red as a beetroot. He didn't know what the reason for it was: an unexpected conversation or the fact that Mana cuddled up too close to him. A pleasant fragrance of the girl turned his head, and he wished to forget himself in it for a while. However, he managed to pull himself together and tried to look cool. But it turned out to be quite difficult. He couldn't constrain himself to speak and whiffed an uncertain "uh-huh". His cousin came to the rescue:
"No one would win in such a fight, Mana-chan." Otoya was clearly satisfied with himself. He took her hand again, like a real gentleman does. "Because both samurais would have you."
"It's so unfair!" the girl exclaimed vividly.
"You signed up for this. I didn't say that, you did." Otoya shrugged, letting go of her hand.
The girl put out her tongue, and they burst in laughter.
But Shinji didn't. Manas's touches and charming smell were still on his mind. His heart began to beat rapidly. Such closeness intimidated him, and he was afraid to hurt the girl with his clumsiness. And even more: he was afraid to be hurt. Like his father hurt him. He betrayed him and left when his mother died. But Shinji would be lying if he said he didn't like Mana to be so close to him. And this contradiction was tearing him apart.
"Ahem," the girl said, not intending to stop the game. "What would sound better: Rokubungi Mana or Ikari Mana?"
She giggled when she saw the confusion on the faces of both brothers.
"Rokubungi Mana sounds a little lame," Otoya indifferently noticed and winked at his brother. "Oh, right! I promised Satoe to go on a date with her!"
"So, that's what you're up to!" Mana snapped, taking Shinji's hand. It was impossible to figure out whether she got angry or just was a great actress.
Shinji convinced himself that it was just another Kirishima's whim that didn't mean anything. This has happened more than once and would certainly happen again. He couldn't help but admit that he had enjoyed the moment to some extent. At the same time, he got really embarrassed, because now the passers-by were staring at them. To the surprise of Shinji, the girl also flushed a little but didn't let go of his hand. All three stopped speaking and the awkward silence appeared.
Mana let go of Shinji when they came closer to the gates of Chigusa High School. She took the case with the violin and joined a group of girls, which gossiped about her relationships with both brothers. They were cracking jokes, trying to find out the truth. She just shrugged, and the girls giggled again.
Before Otoya parted with Shinji at lockers with interchangeable shoes, he winked at his brother once again and wished him good luck.
"Don't you think it's enough?" Shinji started talking.
"Here we go again... Mana-chan is almost throwing herself at you. Stop ditching her!"
"I'm not kidding. I don't want to screw everything up and ruin our friendship. I have neither experience nor courage."
"Everybody makes first steps. There is nothing wrong with it."
"You don't understand," Shinji sighed. "I don't have any romantic feelings for her.…"
"Like I didn't see you blushing as red as a beetroot when she snuggled up to you! Come on, admit it, you had some dirty thoughts, huh?"
"It's only lust. It is different! You know how to get rid of it. You just need more napkins!"
"You're a fool, Shin. A real fool."
"I know," he replied seriously. "That's why I don't want to toy with a young girl's affections. I can lose a close friend, and all for what?"
Otoya clicked his tongue and closed his locker.
"Okay, do what you want," Otoya waved and headed to the third B class. He whistled to some girls, telling them some vulgar things. It was an ordinary day of such an ordinary Rokubungi Otoya.
Shinji took a deep breath again and scratched his head out of habit. He was going to enter the second C class, where Kirishima Mana was waiting for him.
