The mouse sat on the counter, to his left was a bottle named: Vita Vim on it, and to his right was a blue bear typing away on his laptop, he stopped typing briefly stretching his arm. He sat on a swivel chair.
"I'm telling you right now, you don't know what you're messing with". Mike said.
"She told me it was cool. Besides, I'm the alpha. I know what I'm doing dude". Lech replied confidently
"HER friend told you not her. This shit smells like a set-up".
Lech cupped his chin pensively. He wasn't wrong, but her friend seemed so persistent.
A soft pinging sound came from the laptop.
"I still think you should stick with the Diane chick. She seems stable, hell she laughed at your pick up line".
"That was a good line on the spot!" Lech argued as he typed.
Another ping came from laptop.
"Are you kidding me? That line sounded like the most creepiest and sleezyist thing possible, you're lucky she didn't mace you".
"My manly charms pulled through. Anyways, I'm not leaving her she seemed sweet, and her assets..." Lech's mouth formed a perverted grin.
Mike rose his paw up, he understood to his own shame.
Another ping came from the machine.
"At least you made it past first base. Heh heh, poor Fighter". Mike shook his head dismissively.
Lech gave him an odd look. "Dude he made out with Tali in the bar".
Mike went wide eyed as just took in this new information.
"My boy is becoming a man!" He smiled proudly.
"He said he wanted to keep the relationship friendly though, no idea why". Lech squinted at the computer screen.
"Huh, really?" Mike asked.
Lech shrugged as he continued to type he was too busy with the conversation on the other end.
"On second thought... Probably for the best". He remembered his own advice and the previous chat.
He heard another ping. It was driving the mouse up the walls.
"The hell are you doing on that thing?
"Chatting". Lech replied casually. He smiled proudly as he typed another message.
"With who?"
"Welllll,"
"Don't tell me it's them? For Pete's sake man tell them to stop pestering you!" Mike exclaimed as he tilted his head to the screen.
"They've been messaging me all the time since my: drunken escapade" He stuck out his tongue sickly, he could barely remember what happened. Although he did find paper shoved his cast with the female simian's contact info on it.
"You shouldn't have kept it. Hell, let alone message them, Casanova". He mocked as folded his arms.
"Dude, it's harmless flirting. Diane's alright but I wouldn't jump ship now. I'm not completely heartless". He heard another ping and...
Tap tap.
They heard a knock on the door, he had a chair blocking it, leaning it against the knob.
"Did you really need to put that there?" Mike asked.
"Hey, the last time I left the door unlocked I was caught in a compromising position can't be too careful".
Mike rose his brow dubiously at the bear. The knocking grew louder.
"Don't look at me like that! It not like I knew Prozac was gonna barge in my room". He heard another ping and turned his head to read the message:
I'm sure she won't mind this, we can share you...
"God, what am I? A piece of meat!" He folded his arms, but he noticed something attached to the message a file. He squinted curiously at the screen and clicked it. He let his arms fall to his sides...
The picture showed the monkey girl in red lingerie with her hair done up in a tiny ponytail.
Lech's mouth began to water as his eyes bulged.
They sat in silence.
"Hot damn...Can I get a copy?" Mike tilted his head to the side.
Crash!
The door flung open as Mike and Lech both snapped back to the source of the noise.
Evil and Fighter we're holding a battering ram with Death, Prozac and Sugar behind them.
"What the HELL?!" Lech screamed in shock he noticed the door knob on the floor.
"Sorry, we have a situation". Prozac said.
"Oh yeah? Who's gonna replace my door knob that's the situation I'm worried about". He walked over to the group curiously.
Fighter tilted his head behind him and noticed a photo on the laptop. "Sorry we ruined your happy hour". He smirked playfully. "Regardless, your not the only one caught doing something you'd regret. So deal."
Prozac and Death gave him a stern look.
"Oh my god, it's never dull moment here!" Sugar smirked.
Another ping came from the laptop.
"Soooo, another booty call then?" Evil smirked.
Lech growled at the group cracking his knuckles.
"Just go ahead, I'll answer the girl's text or whatever". Mike said as he hopped on the laptop and saw a new name. "Hey, who's lucky legs?" He asked.
Lech blushed knowingly. "It's Diane..." He said causing Evil to snicker.
"Just tell her I'm busy and get out of my room". He said as he stormed out of the room. The rest followed him out.
Mike shrugged and tapped a message on the keyboard before sending the message.
"Sorry toots, we got business to take care off". Mike said as he hopped off the device.
"I'm gonna need a new lock!" He heard the bear shout as he followed them to the living room.
….
The remaining bears gathered together in the living room with the simian placing her phone on the table.
"First things first". Sugar stated. 'Do any of you know how to tinker with machines?"
"What type of tinkering?" Nerd asked curiously.
"Repair, Specs. DO any of know how to repair, or construct something?"
Nerd smirked proudly rubbing his chest with his paw. "I've dabbled in creating things. I'm quite good at welding".
Jimmy jumped giddily as his eyes lit up. "And I know how to reassemble things! Provide I break them fist, hehe". He chuckled.
"Good, Spice lead them to the mongoose preserve". She waved him away. Her brother nodded and quickly got up from the couch to walked to the cave entrance. Jimmy followed him out. "And make sure you meet us back at the van!" She shouted.
Nerd however, ran back to his room. "I need my tools!"
"Fine! We'll wait at the exhibit".
Tali narrowed her brow at Sugar. "I thought you had people for this?"
"These are my people, animals whatever". She rolled her eyes.
The others shook their heads dismissively.
"Alright, now for the reason I've assembled you all here: I need you to rob a brewery".
"Oh, a heist then?" Fighter said.
Sugar smiled and nodded in affirmingly.
"So, I assume you've got some plan? Done some recon?" Mike asked.
"Done and done my rodent friend, all of this has been placed on my phone". She pulled out a phone cable.
"Hold up, I'll get Nerd's.."
Lech was about to run into his room but Nerd ran into the room with a welding mask on his forehead, box with various tools and his laptop. Lech quickly blocked the bear's path and took the laptop.
"HEY!" Nerd shouted.
"We need this to see the blue print for the place we're going to breaking in to".
"Ooooo! Espionage?" Nerd was intrigued
Lech placed the laptop on the table and plugged in the device. "Yea, Something like that."
He turned the laptop to the group as the screen flickered and showed them a picture of the building from a bird's eye view. It was an average looking structure. Sugar began to inform them:
"This building is a decent brewery. They make different types of booze here, but all of them taste like garbage. But there's a caveat; this place also provides packaging and transport for different types of booze around the world. So, they gain access to some primo stuff".
She clicked the laptop. It showed a slim bottle, with a stamp on it. The brand had a blue ribbon on it. She pointed to the screen with a pleased smile. "This baby, is what I want".
"Fancy looking bottle." Lech folded his arms.
"Your goal is to get 5 cases of this stuff. Are we clear?"
The group nodded.
"Good". She clicked the laptop again and it showed a floor from above.
"This is the third floor, you know it by the metal floor and various boxes and crates around the area. This is the transport room, here is where we're you acquire the goods. Simple so far right?" She asked.
"Breaking and entering you call that simple? This all seems too risky". Prozac shook his head he was beginning to have second thoughts.
"Given that she has information on the plant and the layout, a vehicle for us to drive to the location". Fighter cupped his chin pensively.
"And an escort who knows the layout!" She added.
"That too". Fighter nodded. Seems simple.
"Yup! All you need to is; short out the cameras, find the booze, and carry it back without anyone seeing you". Sugar clasped her paws together.
"Uh huh, what about the guards?" Prozac asked.
"I'm okay with knocking any of them out," Evil insisted.
Prozac glared at the bear. "Non lethally of course". Evil said as he grinned much to Prozac's dismay.
"Please, guards? All they have to keep people out is a large fence surrounding the place. Lucky for you no one told the higher ups about a hole cut into the back of the thing. Heh. She smirked.
"How do you know this?" Prozac asked surprised.
"A little bird told me". She replied.
"Whelp, I'm convinced this should be cinch". Lech smirked. "Wait how far is this place from here?"
"About a couple miles away. Don't worry you've got a GPS in the van to tell you where to go. Not mention you have plenty of gas provided there aren't many pit stops..." She scowled. "But you have a single gas container".
As Lech nodded Fighter rose his hand to grab her attention.
She glanced over to the bear.
He looked at the monkey cautiously. "A few questions though". Sugar nodded.
How much are you paying us? He asked.
"Zilch this is for your friend". She narrowed her brow.
"Fine. Even if they're no guards what's the most likely thing we can encounter in there?"
She scoffed. "Please, a janitor should be your only issue".
Fighter nodded in affirmation.
"Killer, You worry to much. You're going in empty handed, all you need are your fists".
Fighter glared at her clearly annoyed. "Stop that, that nickname is irritating".
"Why do insist and using derogatory nicknames like that?" Death asked.
"Because Mr. Reaper..." She pulled out her revolver from her holster and pointed it at Fighter.
The bear turned his head away from barrel as she drew and aimed his claws at the monkey's head, it was inches away from her throat, she didn't flinch.
Prozac was shocked at how quick this happened trying to get between the two.
Evil eyes shifted from the two, he was waiting for a moment to disarm her.
Tali glared at the Monkey snarling at the threat with her tail erect.
While Mike and Lech were about to jump the monkey only to be stopped by Death.
Sugar continued. "Honestly, I call's em as I see them. Your appearance can tell me a lot from just a quick glance. "Plus, the moment I saw you and called you that name...' She pulled the revolver away from the bear.
He relaxed his shoulders and placed his paw down.
'Your eyes gave it away". She said.
"That's a load of bull, you pointed a gun at him. Lech argued.
"It's not loaded, genius". She argued.
"Still, if I pointed a base bat at you and said: I won't hit you with this. Then pulled out a knife. I'll still be worried if you were going to stab me with it!" He exclaimed. The rest nodded as the tension faded.
She looked back at the bear with a stern look.
"She's...not entirely wrong". He said gloomily.
Prozac gave a dubious look. Fighter noticed this and looked away for a moment.
"Look, that doesn't matter right now. Let's get this task completed". Death walked back to the cavern.
"Where are you going?"
"Grabbing something for the trip... Might as well have something to read, right?"
Lech rolled his eyes, then smirked.
"Just follow me out and I'll show you the van. Don't dawdle we don't have a lot of time before the place closes". She grabbed the phone off the table and gave it Prozac. "Keep this, your gonna need it". She headed to the exit of the cave.
Prozac clutched the phone and followed her out.
Lech whispered to the group that was left. "Bring money". He followed the leader out of the cave.
Evil and Fighter looked at each other and shrugged.
"Mike". Fighter looked down at the mouse.
"I'll stay. Just be careful out there". He said.
Fighter nodded and walked out of the cave.
"Evil..." The albino bear locked down at the mouse inquisitively wondering what he wanted.
"Protect him, please". He glared at the bear vehemently, clutching his paws.
Evil scoffed. "You've got nothing to worry to about. He can fend for himself". He closed his eyes as he followed the bear outside. Mike watched the bear exit the cave and sigh.
….
The group sneaked around the zoo and headed to the parking lot in the late evening. As they reached their destination they noticed many different vehicles.
However, as the observed the lot they wondered which vehicle they would be taking. Their ring leader: Sugar walked to over to their ride for the night.
A green cargo van, it was an average size with four doors on each side, with only a passenger and a driver seat visible.
The backdoor was open slightly, two boxes and a gas canister resided inside. The van was unsightly to say the least. It had looked like it been through hell and back, the fender was dented, and the passenger side lost it's rear view mirror, but at least the wheels were...functional.
She turned back to the group looking around the lot around the cautiously. They all looked unimpressed.
"This looks like shit". Lech pointed to the rust on front end of the van, he noticed something else as he paced around it. It almost looked like blood, but he chalked it up to more rust.
"If you're expecting luxury, then you shove it. I 'got' this on short notice after an employee managed to knock down a sign while driving. Poor bastard couldn't predict the tires would be punctured". She shook her head dismissively.
Prozac looked at the monkey with concern. Not for the driver mind you, but her.
"If it makes you feel better I shot at him to make sure he'd hit the sign".
"That's still horrible!" Prozac stated.
Unbeknownst to them a small amount of shuffling could be heard coming from behind the van.
"They were flares, what to do you think I am?" Sugar retorted.
"A cheap business woman that uses heinous tactics to employ forced labor". Evil surmised. Not bad, though.
"And a cold-hearted monkey, who used this not only bind us into servitude, twice but who also almost get us shot?" Fighter said causally while giving an unamused look.
"A manipulative a-hole that kicked me down a flight of stairs". Lech added finally.
"Alright that's fair..." She squinted at the trio annoyed. "But get over it. You've got a job to do, so stop bitching".
"How much horsepower does this thing have?" Lech asked inspecting the vehicle.
She held her temple in frustration as she closed her eyes. "Not. Important".
"What about my role in this infiltration mission?" Tali asked annoyed.
"It'll be clear when you get there..." Sugar gritted her teeth.
"Does this thing have seat belts?" Prozac asked worried.
"ALRIGHT, IF ONE MORE PERSON ASKS ANOTHER QUESTION, I'LL TIE YOU UP AND THROW YOU INTO THE VAN MYSELF!" She shouted suddenly shocking the others momentarily. She panted heavily before dusting off her shoulders.
"Who's coming along?"
The voice came from behind her in the parking lot.
The monkey whipped around so suddenly that she slapped Lech's paw arm with her a scarf, causing him to yelp and clutch it in pain. Sugar's malice subsided as she saw her brother and the other two with them. Spice walked forward and ruffled his sister's head.
She flicked his nose in turn causing him to hold it quickly.
"Good you're here. We can get this sad excuse for a robbery started". She sighed.
"Did you fix it?" Tali asked worried.
Jimmy smiled sheepishly while Nerd nodded affirmatively he had a prideful smirk.
"For some reason an entire component was ripped out of the machine". Nerd explained.
"I'd say it was a crowbar, give or take". Jimmy said knowingly.
Spice squinted at the raccoon suspiciously.
"Why so specific?" Prozac asked curiously.
"Personal experience". Jimmy said flatly.
Fighter winced knowingly as he narrowed his brow.
"Good job you two, now get back to the cave or whatever you idiots call your home". Spice waved them of.
"Wait why can't we-" Nerd was interrupted by Sugar She pointed her finger into the purple bear's chest.
"The smaller the group the better it is for them, geez does anyone have common sense?"
Nerd frowned in disappointment as his prospects of espionage were dashed away so quickly.
"You wouldn't believe how often that disappears here.". Fighter said flatly.
"I'm beginning to see a pattern". Nerd replied.
"Speaking of common sense, Lech can you drive?" Prozac asked.
Lech looked at the bear then gave him a haughty grin. "Please it's just some mild pain. My track record speaks for itself".
Evil narrowed his brow maliciously while grinning toothily.
"Shut up". He promptly walked up to the driver's side. He pulled open the door and hopped in the seat.
Evil's eyes shifted between the group cautiously. "Shot-"
"I'll take the passenger seat". Prozac interrupted walking around to the other side.
Evil the a small tantrum stamping the ground as he glared at the bear.
Prozac tilted his head as he peered from the other side looking at him blankly. "Do you wanna work the pedals?"
Evil looked down at the driver seat and saw Lech's feet barely reaching them. Then looked up at the bear in question as he smiled.
"I'll be in the back". Evil walked around to the back of the vehicle. Spice waved goodbye to his sister before entering in the van.
"Why is there a box in here? Evil asked.
"Just leave it, the humans left it in there". Spice told him.
"Whatever". The van clanked as they both hopped into the back.
"A bit loud?" Evil asked annoyed at the sound.
"The floor's metallic. Spice explained.
Fighter glanced back at Death looking at the bag.
"It's reading material". He pulled out a red book.
Fighter grinned after reading the title. "This is gonna be fun". He turned to Tali.
"Ladies first…" He signaled Tali to walk with them.
"Just go ahead, I need to chat with her". Tali folded her arms.
Fighter nodded before holding his hands behind his head before walking toward the van.
Sugar grinned mischievously as she brought back her paw winding it up...
SMACK
"Bah!" Fighter flinched at the sudden slap.
"Go get em, killer". She chortled.
He held his butt unsure of what to say to this...contact.
"Personal space, my ass is off lim-" He was about to retort, but looked at the duo and went pale.
"Death, get it the van". He ordered.
"Why?" Death asked sincerely.
"In the van. Now". He pulled him by his arm to the back of the van.
FZZT!
"OWW, MY HAND!"
"Sorry". Death exclaimed.
"Wow, what a bunch of-" She turned around to see the female's cold, deathly stare.
She gulped in fear as she backed up slightly.
"There will be NONE of that, are we clear?" She narrowed her gaze.
"Jeez, chill it was a joke, sorry I'm groped him. Calm down". She held paws out apologetically.
Nerd looked terrified at the two, while Jimmy nodded knowingly.
She narrowed her brow. "Anyone ever tell you that type of stunt could get you hurt?"
"Tell that to the patrons.." She muttered. "Right, my bad just relax ok?"
She stared at the simian silently. The sound of the howling winds were only thing to break the silence.
Jeez, there goes my eye logic. This chick has probably seen some shit.
Tali patted the monkey on her head before grabbing the scarf of her neck and tying it around her neck.
"C-consider that a loan". She stammered.
The mongoose nodded. "Oh, and one more thing: If you ever endanger the well being of my little cubs, or anyone of his family… I'll Come". She pointed to her chest with a single claw.
"Pardon?" Sugar squinted at the mongoose, her purple eyes looked dreadful to her, it brought a chill down her spine.
"You heard me". She said
"Please, what are you going to do?" She grinned trying to show some courage.
She tapped top of her eye threateningly with her claw.
"She isn't bluffing!" Fighter yelled from the Van.
"What the hell are they doing out there?" Evil asked annoyed.
"Nothing involving murder…" Fighter muttered quickly.
Tali tapped the monkey's shoulder before getting into the van. Room for one more.
"Sure, this party couldn't anymore duller". Evil stated in the van.
Sugar was left there barely remembering to blink. She then clasped her paws and sighed beginning to walk away from the parking lot.
"Come on you little shits I'll walk you home. I can at least monitor them from there". The trio walked back to the zoo as the van began to start up and drive away.
….
"I say we eat the roast, they aren't coming back soon". Sara said staring at the brown roast steaming in the pot, her sister was carrying it with oven mitts and an apron.
"It doesn't seem fair, though he made this food for us to eat, shouldn't we save it?" Cara reasoned as she placed it on the kitchen table.
"They left to do a heist while we we're sitting here starving, they could care less". Sara said.
"Wow, what bit you today?" She asked as she laid her hands on her hips. a gurgling sound came from her sister.
"I'm hungry, don't start with me". She ruffled through the drawer angrily.
"So is everybody else, it's not all about you". She replied earning a bitter glare from her while she held the large knife.
"Ding dong! Damn it, it's not the same". They heard a female voice out side the cave. They watched three animals walk into the cave.
"We're home guys!" Nerd said happily he walked into the living room and placed the laptop on the living room table. Sugar stared at the bear typing on the device.
"Welcome back!" Cara exclaimed cheerily.
"Yeah, good job finding your way back here". Sara scowled.
"Ohhh, are you gonna cut the roast and toasted bread! I'm starving!" Jimmy exclaimed giddily.
"See! I'm not the only one". Sara pointed out.
"Selfish little brat". Her sister said with a blank look.
Sara looked at the knife pensively. "I'm holding this..." she branded the knife threateningly.
"And if you are you can cut the roast. Grumpy bear". She teased.
She stabbed the chicken dryly with sour childish expression. The smell of the roast filled the air as it lingered in the cave.
"Might as well eat now they wont be back for a while". Cara held her head, her mouth was starting to water.
Sara smiled smugly.
"Would you like to join us for dinner?" Cara asked Sugar in the living room. She looked over at her bewildered.
"I'm just here to my make sure my useless sibling does his job". She replied.
"I know the feeling". Sara said coldly. Her sister smiled bitterly.
"Doesn't mean we shouldn't give you something to eat". She said.
"No thanks". She said waving her hand. "Y'know what I think I can set up my laptop at home".
"Oh, that's ok then". She replied.
"Ohhh, what smells so good?" Vanity said his voice was distant.
"Roast and toasted bread, come and get it before it's gone". Sara said.
"Spread the feast out for me, dear". He replied.
They heard sound of trotting as they looked at the exit to he cavern.
Vanity arrived ridding on the red bear, Tanked. He held a reign between his teeth, he stood there not moving causing the panda to sigh as he pulled out a carrot on a string.
Tank smiled hungrily as he crawled forward towards the carrot.
"Bask in my-" Tanked nose twitched catching the scent he unknowingly kicked off vanity and ran to the kitchen.
A few laughs were heard as he rose his head up from the ground.
"What's she doing here?" Vanity scowled as he brushed his hair with his claws.
"She was just leaving". Sara pointed out.
"Oh, good bye". He waved his paw and walked past her, 'And good riddance". He said under his breath.
"You know what sweetheart, set down a plate for me". Sugar smiled warmly. Much to Vanity's dismay.
"Ah, Sug, could you come over here..." Nerd had a red blush on his face. She sighed and walked over to the computer. She whistled as she got in front of the screen.
"Me too!" Mike said above in the cupboard holding a can of peas. Cara she squealed in surprise jumping back in tears, Sara brought out the knife and pointed at the mouse. He dropped the can on the ground.
"Whoa, whoa chill". He pushed out his paws apprehensively.
"Who the heck are you?" Cara clutched her chest.
"Mike the mouse,' he tipped his brown cabbie hat. Fighter's friend I'm staying here for a bit, sorry for scaring you shit less, dear".
She nodded and went back to her sister.
He looked at Sara worried. She lowered the knife. "Thanks, Dusty".
"Does anyone care I have this thing?" She rolled her eyes.
Her sister waved her paw out with an open-handed. Sara sighed and gave her the knife. She walked out of the kitchen into the living room frustrated at the two.
But something caught her eye as she noticed the two staring at the laptop; Nerd had covered his his face with one paw as he was trying to reach for the laptop sheepishly, as Sugar had a pleasant expression on her face while she folded her arms.
"Go on Specs. She looks beautiful doesn't she?" ha ha. She chucked.
"Y-Yea she's v-very attractive". He was starting to stammer.
She leaned forward with her elbows on her legs and rested her head on her palms. She gave him a smile while watching the bear discomfort, clearly enjoying it."Oh this is so precious".
Sara hovered over the laptop and rolled her eyes. She closed the picture.
"Hey, what's this crap popping up now?" She asked pointing at the messenger blowing up with messages:
LuckyLegs: Hey baby, how are you? 5:58
TheBigBlueWonder: Sorry GTG. Was the response. 5:59
LuckyLegs: Oh, ok. 6:00
LuckyLegs: Heyyy. are free you now? 6:30
LuckyLegs: I'm cold and I need someone to warm me up... 6:35
Sara shook her head annoyed,
"Persistent, isn't she?" Sugar stated.
"Uh huh. Why aren't you closing it?" Sara asked.
Nerd fumbled his fingers. "Well, she started to message-"
Sara lurched over them and started to type something:
TheBigBlueWonder: Babe, your annoying the crap out of me, I'm suffocating, GTFO. 7:00
Click.
She sent the message with an instant reply:
LuckyLegs: OK, what the eff Bleu?! 7:00
"Ohhh, this gonna be good, your awesome!" Sugar rose her paw up, Sara high fives the female.
"And now we wait". Sugar said grinning maliciously.
"No we aren't". Nerd signed out of the messenger and typed his own in.
"Party pooper". She said folding her arms.
"Says the home wrecker". Nerd replied. He then went wide-eyed as the female glared at him.
He quickly hopped off the couch and ran away from the angry bear chasing him around room. All while the monkey laughed at the two.
….
"So what's in the boxes?" Evil laid back on the wall of the van. He turned to the gold monkey accompanying them.
"Stuff to make sure our identities aren't revealed in case there is trouble". Spice explained as he tapped the box beside him.
"I'd think they'd be more worried at the fact bears are robbing them blind". Lech exclaimed.
There was a small amount of snickering in the back of the van.
"Which is why we have balaclavas and black suits. At least if they see us they'd think we're some weirdos wearing bear masks under gear".
"Umm, what about your tail?" A muffled voice said from the front of van.
"Don't remind me, that's gonna be annoying for me to walk around in".
Lech snorted. "It must be hard waddling around with something so cumbersome, huh? Must be a lengthy process". He glanced at the empty seat beside him with the black cell phone.
Evil rolled his eyes before looking at the box again.
"What if there's-" Spice pulled out a crowbar from the box before placing it back in. Evil nodded approvingly.
"I thought we didn't need any weapons?" Prozac voice sounded muffled, but he gathered what he said.
"Please, I'm not going in there without one". Spice said flatly.
"I respect that". Evil agreed.
The snickering continued at the back of the van. Lech looked up from the phone.
"Yo, heads up, we got an underpass up ahead". Lech looked back at the group. "Whatever you two are doing back there it's about to get difficult".
"Oh that won't be a problem". Death said.
As they entered the underpass the van grew darker, it was pitch black, except for the small light Lech could see at the end of the tunnel. He started to type on the phone.
"What are you doing?"
"Pro, it's a straight line just keep pressing the pedal and we won't crash".
"Keep your eyes on the road".
"I am". The clicking and tapping noises proved otherwise.
"Hm hm hm hm". A muffled chuckle came from the back.
"What are you laughing about?" Tali asked the two beside her at the back.
"Nothing". They both said casually.
She noticed his eyes glowing with a pale blue light. Death glanced at her clearly and spoke.
"It's a long story I'd rather not talk about". Death explained.
Tali nodded suspiciously and decided not to pry any further. She noticed the 2nd box beside her.
"Anything in here that'll be useful?"
"No, the humans left that there we decided not to trouble it".
"Oh, that one's good". Death said.
"Eh, you could do more with that". Fighter replied.
Brewery compound 10 Miles. The GPS voice sounded feminine
Prozac looked up from the bottom of the van to see a faint, pale light illuminating his companion's face. Lech squinted at the light in his paws, he had a distraught look on his face.
"Do I need to stop the car?" Prozac asked.
"Naw, it's cool, just... Keep pushing the pedals". He quickly typed something on the phone and dropped the device. And yet again the snickering in the back of the van.
"Care to share with the group?" Evil looked over to the source of the sound. He peered over to the into the dark corner of the van as the light filled the room again, he went wide eye as he stared at Fighter's paws a book was being huddled between them.
A red book in fact it's title: A Cavalade of Corny and Pungent Puns.
"Death, you have the floor". Fighter grinned. Under the friendly grin from the bear laid a playful malice.
"What does a nosey pepper do? Get jalapeño business". Death said with a content smile.
"NO, NOT NOW! We have ten more miles!" Prozac shouted from the drivers seat.
Note to self: Throw water in the mouse's bed later. Evil thought.
"We have to past the time some how. This is the best method, and what better way to past the time then with some humor?"
"You mean torture?!" Evil exclaimed he glanced at Tali
"Why are you so calm right now?" He asked.
"Meh, I spent years of my life with jackal who likes to rhyme and steal my food on occasion. And recently I've tackled children waking me up in the night to pee or just because they can. Consistently, I'm numb to this shit". She shrugged.
He he.
She narrowed her brow and looked at the duo suspiciously, the sound was familiar.
"Your turn". Death nodded.
Fighter eyes shifted through the pages finding something quickly.
"Ah, I got one; Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a well known six offender- Oh god that went dark real quick". He frowned and narrowed his brow worried.
"Stop please". Prozac pleaded.
"Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like banana". Death added.
He he.
She looked around again suspiciously
"You sure about that?" Evil asked Tali knowingly.
Spice held his head while closing his his eyes. He held his head down gritting his teeth feverishly. He was not a fan.
"Yeah, I'm fine". Tali sighed as she closed her eyes. No, this is not happening. I'm fine, you're fine- I might be losing it from sleep deprivation.
"Why can't a bike stand on its own? It's two tired". Death grinned from ear to ear.
"OK, new topic; if you all had a Powers what would they be?!" Spice asked abruptly.
"Eh, strength hands down. But i've already got that". Lech said as looked out the door.
"You all know what I want". Evil smiled maliciously.
"Poison maybe?" Tali said.
"How would that work?" Fighter asked.
"I don't know poison spit?"
"Wouldn't you poison your self with that?" He asked.
"Fine then, claws of poison". She folded her arms.
"Then you can't eat without having it drip into your food, or just straight up poisoning it". Spice retorted.
"What do you want from me? I like the idea poisoning things with clawing or spiting!"
"My superpower is making people laugh. Which would be great if I was actually funny". Fighter said flatly.
"HE HE HA HA!" Evil chuckled maliciously, while others looked at the bear oddly. Death pulled the book away and placed it in his sack.
"You are forbidden from reading that section of the book now". He said.
"Thank you,' Prozac was at his limit for their brand of humor. The bear was getting very tired from kneeling on the van's floor. fatigue was setting in and It didn't help the ground didn't have a mat to ease his discomfort.
"How far are we from reaching our destination?" He asked their driver as he glanced up.
Lech didn't respond he kept his eyes on the road.
Good to see his focus isn't elsewhere.
"Yo, pill popper, what'd be your power?" Spice asked him he was leaning towards the driver area.
"I'm not sure honestly. I'll pass".
"Boooring". He rolled his eyes and looked at Evil.
"It's f- wait, we don't get immunity from it?" He asked.
"No, not in the slightest. It can be detrimental really".
"Then I'd rather pick something else". He looked to the side annoyed.
"Pfft, pussy afraid of a little burn?" Spice jeered.
Evil gave him a disdainful look before just settling for a scowl. "No".
"Oh come on. Being burned isn't so bad, you can walk off being stabbed". Spice stated.
"Uh huh, This conversation over." Evil glared at the wall of the van purposely.
"Smooth". Tali said as she gave the monkey sullen look.
"Whatever, I still stand by it". Spice said pouting. Fighter narrowed his brow and spoke.
"Both are equally unpleasant, having a sharp, acute pain followed by the short realization that you've gained a new appendage doesn't bode well. I'm willing to imagine that it be quite painful, and not worth talking about further".
Spice scoffed. "What if it gave a wicked scar?"
"Oh, tough call". Lech said
The group gave the simian a dubious look while remaining silent.
"Come on, that's gotta be bragging rights for at least a good while, heck, bet it be great free for your fighting skill".
The bear narrowed his brow and retained his silence. He gave the monkey an incredulous glance before staring away with a distant look.
Three for three.
Tap tap tap.
Clicking came from the driver side.
The van turned to left, the boxes slid on the floor toward the direction. Spice and Tali grabbed the boxes before any major damage was done.
Spice bit his lip and looked around the van. He felt annoyed, a slight pain grew in his stomach it made him more agitated. "Gah, whatever". He stood up and looked over to driver side and furrowed his brow.
"Hey driver, where are you going?" He asked.
"To the brewery," Lech kept one hand on the steering wheel and other on the phone.
"No shit". He replied.
Prozac looked at the monkey sternly.
"Why are taking this route?" Spice asked.
"It's quicker". He replied.
"The heck it is, this detour sets us back at least 20 more minutes. We were going to reach just before it closed". He stated.
Prozac tilted his head up and stared at their driver. "What are you doing?"
"We have enough time for a pit stop...I'm hungry". Lech shrugged.
"Seriously?!" Prozac rose his voice and gripped the pedals tightly he looked he was about rip them from their place.
"If you're that upset we can get everyone something to eat". He argued.
"I'm down with that". Spice stated.
"No, no, no!" Where would we even find a-
Ping ping ping.
The phone rang. Lech looked over the phone:
Jedi N one: Judging from your location, there's a fast food joint. Here's the menu. Text me the order so you can slip in and give them your food. You owe me. 7:30
Lech nodded. "We're going to a fast food joint with a drive through in 10 minutes. Everybody tell me your orders so I can text Nerd".
"I'll have-"
"Are you serious right now?!" Prozac shouted interrupting Evil.
"I want meat..."
"We are not getting food right now, there's more at stea-" he stopped himself suddenly. He felt filthy.
"Go on, finish your statement". Fighter chuckled as he gave cheeky cat-like grin.
He pulled out a bottle, poured out the pills and swallowed them down direly. He continued his rant.
"We have to job to do, so turn around and drive to-"
A rumbling sound stopped him from continuing, he felt a small tinge of pain in his stomach. He tried to start again- only to be intercepted by a large gurgling sound coming from below the drivers seat.
Prozac glared at the bear blankly as Lech grinned at his predicament.
"Just get me a blueberry muffin". He scowled as he heard the others giggle.
"But, If we're going to make the schedule, you're going to have to drive without a break, you can eat at the brewery".
"But I'll be starving by then!" Lech whined.
"Suck it up, Lech". He furrowed his brow.
Lech narrowed his brow annoyed at their leader. "Your the one on your knees..."
The van retained silence sans a single fit of muffled giggling.
"This situation only makes you look worse by bringing it up". Tali replied cheekily.
"Orders, now". Lech growled out.
"What type of food do they serve?" Tali asked raising her brow.
"Ugh, you guys..." Lech growled.
"Hey, don't throw a fit because we don't know jack about the restaurant". Fighter added.
Lech grabbed the phone and threw it haphazardly on the box.
"Yo! Watch it you dick, that phone costs 200 dollars!" Spice shouted berating the bear's carelessness.
"Look on that thing and type what you want based on the menu, I found online". Lech said ignoring the pleas of Spice.
"Wait, that thing costs that much without a touch screen?" Prozac asked
"Don't break it. My ass is on the line if I scratch gets on that thing". Spice asked frowning.
The group huddled over the phone glancing at it. Fighter picked up the phone and glanced at the menu.
"I'll have the burger with bacon and cheese I guess?" He passed the phone to Tali.
She stared at it blankly, "You know what, I want something with meat. I'll have the thing with three pieces of bread and meat please".
Fighter passed the phone to Evil. He glared at the device.
He rose a single digit and clawed the screen.
"You little shit!" Spice jumped up to attack Evil. He was holding the simian back as he flailed his arms at him.
Fighter ducked around them as he crawled over to Death.
I'll have apple pie...And maybe some coffee. he said.
Fighter looked at the bear pleased. "Oooh, that sounds nice can I have-"
"Errrrrrk!"
The van suddenly screeched to a resounding halt. The result was a catalyst to many mishaps;
The first was Fighter throwing the phone as he fell back into the van.
Spice lurched forward to catch the phone. Banging his head the metallic wall.
Evil was thrown into death's corner. He was lucky Death some control, or he would have needed to vets again.
And Tali would have been launched Into the back door had it not been for Fighter quickly catching and tackling her to the floor.
"Hell no". Lech growled out.
"No drinks for anyone!" Prozac shouted frantically interrupting Fighter. He gave a bewildered expression, but as he looked over the group amid the confused looks, the consensus of room was genuine fear as he saw the two scared shit-less.
"D-did I miss something?" He asked sincerely confused at the reaction.
"You don't need to know and you're better off". Prozac exclaimed.
"I still know what burnt eyeballs smell like". Lech furrowed his brow.
Death looked away as he fiddled with his paws.
"Trauma aside, Fighter?" Tali looked up at Fighter smugly.
"Umm?" He looked down at the yellow mongoose worried. It took him a second to realize he needed to get off. He calmly pushed himself off
Spice gave Lech the phone after he typed in his order, Lech grabbed it and typed in his grub as well as Prozac's.
Tali brushed herself off and stretched as the van began to move again.
She yawned closing her eyes for a moment and as she sniffed the air she caught a familiar aroma, a mix of grass and snow amount the other various scents.
What was strange to her was not only that remembered this, but that it was right beside her. She narrowed her brow suspiciously but didn't say anything, instead:
"If you wanted to get intimate, you could have bought me dinner first".
"Technically we are right now..." He paused as he folded his arms
"Fast food doesn't equate to a dinner, let alone a second date". She replied.
"Stop flirting while I'm hungry, I need food so I can properly mock". Evil said rubbing his belly.
"I think it's cute". Prozac stated.
"Wait, second date? I don't think you can count the bar, babe". Lech grinned.
"I wasn't talking about that".
The group looked at the bear oddly.
Fighter narrowed his brow realizing what she meant.
"You were trying to kill me?!" He exclaimed.
"Technically It was Mike".
"So mugging me is first base for you?"
"No," She shifted to his side and whispered into his ear. "But it does count as foreplay".
"Fondling does not make up foreplay!" He blurted out then immediately frowned as she smirked.
She patted his head causing him to face palm and look away. I played myself...
The group chuckled softly at his embarrassment.
"Wait, how are we gonna pay for this?" Prozac asked concerned.
Everybody pulled out their own bills. Prozac leered at the group with a tinge of disdain and acceptance as he furrowed his brow. The kind of look that screamed: You all knew this was coming and i hate you all for it and by extension myself...
After the pit stop the group sat and eat there meals respectively.
Evil swallowed the last piece of his chicken burger and licked his lips.
"Wow, done already you pig?" Spice jeered.
He glared at the simian rummaging through his salad. Evil gave him a weird look, he was picking out each individual piece of lettuce and wiping it off with their napkins.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" Evil asked.
"They got ranch on my salad I wanted it plain. I won't eat it with that crap on it".
"This coming from someone who hates fish soup, who decided to fish and get more". Prozac stated.
"It's not the same!" He replied bitterly. Fighter nodded.
"Eating the same thing over, and over again can be rather maddening to say the least. Although, this burger..." he held a quarter of it left. "Can't eat it anymore, E, take it if you want". He handed it to him, he swiped it and gobbled it down without hesitation.
"The grease does not sit with me. It reminded of my first corn dog...' He shivered. "Never. Again". He grimaced.
"Eh, I rather follow the K.I.S.S principle myself, it makes thing's a lot more simple. So, next time get a plain burger, maybe the added grease screwed with your stomach". Lech said as he stared at the road with an exhausted expression.
"I'm sorry what?" Prozac asked dubiously he didn't understand the bear's phrase.
"K.i.s.s? Wow, none of you know what that means?" He asked.
The van was silent with only the occasional munching of food to break the awkward silence.
"No genius we do, but enlighten us anyways". Evil said narrowing his brow. "It'd at least past the time in this tedious prison". He munched on his food.
"It's clearly an acronym so spell it out". Spice said as he picked through his salad.
"Keep it simple, stupid".
"I'm starting to hate you guys". Spice leered at the bear, licking the sauce of the salad.
"No, stupid. Why make things more complicated than they need to be? If a system works best if it's kept simple, then add any else to it, if it's doing the job well. Maybe make your own system dealing with food, or whatever. Sometimes the simple solution is the better one". Lech explained.
Fighter nodded in agreement.
"That's...oddly makes sense, despite coming from you". Evil stated earning a silent glare from the bear.
"EYES ON THE ROAD!" Prozac shouted below the driver seat.
"Yeah, Yeah". He rolled his eyes and looked up at the see Evil smirking confidently. He flipped him off and while keeping his eyes on the road.
"It's plausible, it does make some sense to make a system less complex. Easier to grasp and maintain if something new is thrown into the table". Tali surmised.
Spice shook his head in disagreement.
"Highly doubt simplicity is always the best choice. Somethings are more complicated than that, like fighting for example. It's a form of complex movements, reading the opponents and landing a decisive blow".
"Have you ever been in a fight?" Fighter asked turning his gaze to Spice.
"YES! Yes I have". The golden simian glared at the Bear.
"It's more to it than that. Honestly fights can go by so quickly that there's no time for that. You need to think quickly". He explained.
Evil nodded.
"Bah, that's obvious. Wouldn't you want to finish a fight a quickly? It shows who's better". Spice smiled proudly.
Fighter sighed. "And that's how I know you haven't been in a proper fight, frettare".
"The hell did you just call me?" Spice exclaimed abruptly.
"A fight can end in a matter of seconds, that is true. But make no mistake it doesn't show the full extent of another's ability, nor does it mean complete superiority over a someone. Some aren't meant to fight".
"Uh huh, I'm talking about a fight between two equals! Numbskull". Spice retorted chomping on a piece of lettuce before sticking out his tongue in disgust at the flavour.
"That also applies here".
Spice squinted in disbelief he wanted answers.
"Let me ask you something; if you could fight fifty times with someone, would you rather lose fifty or win all the time?"
"That's simple: I'd want to win 50". He replied.
"And that's where we differ. I'd rather lose 100 times than be victor consistently".
"Bull!" Spice exclaimed loudly
Tali narrowed her brow sternly at the language as she leaned the box open in the middle of the van and threw her sandwich in it.
Evil looked at the mongoose oddly but said nothing.
"That's surprising?" Prozac said curiously.
"It makes some sense to me". Death said as turned the page in his book.
Fighter continued. "I want to learn from my opponent, the more I fight the more I learn. Not only do I learn about him but I also learn more about myself and I need to improve, so when I get back up...I can try to beat them again".
"Pfft, you sound like a fortune cookie". Spice said bluntly.
"Yeah, I'd rather win one hundred times too, save the embarrassment". Evil said.
"To each his own. Fighter as he bit into his burger. But, if the situation calls for it. Do what needs to be done".
Prozac glanced at the bear surprised at his words.
Brewery, 20 minutes. The GPS announced.
Fighter yawned as he laid back on the wall...
