GOODBYE

Dear Lissa

I'm so sorry, I never wanted to leave you, but I never expected this could happen. Today I found out that I'm pregnant. Dr Olendzki told me she would try to find a way for me to graduate, but with a baby on the way, I don't see much point. I couldn't be the guardian I need to be while running after a baby anyway.

I tried to tell the father today, but he wouldn't listen to a word I tried to say. His words broke my heart. Maybe things would have been different if he'd believed me, but the cards have been dealt, and I must play my hand. Even if I did stay, they'd never let me be your guardian now.

Please don't hate me, though I'll understand if you do. You are strong, I know you will fight for what's right in our world, and without my reputation hanging over you, you will have a much better chance of changing what needs to be. I love you Liss, and I hate that I have to do this, but I promise I will always be with you.

Rose

I carefully folded the letter and sealed it in an envelope before scribbling Lissa's name on it. A lone tear rolled down my cheek, signalling the pain I felt deep inside. I have to do this, I kept telling myself. It was right for Lissa, it was right for Dimitri, and it was right for my baby. Whether it was right for me I didn't know, but that didn't matter. I had absolutely no idea where I was going, I didn't have a clue how I would get anywhere, I had no money to my name. There was only one person I could think about asking, but I really wasn't sure if he would help. I had never been too kind to him.

I made my way to the wardrobe. I didn't have many clothes, but I packed what I had. I packed my fake ID and passport, along with a photo of Lissa and I – it had been taken when we were on the run from the academy. I was leaving her – and that hurt like hell – but I needed something of her with me, other than the bond.

I picked up my bag and took a final look around my room. I hadn't left, but my room already looked cold and not lived in. Maybe it was just the way I was feeling that made the room seem like that. I left the letter on the desk and closed the door behind me. I left it unlocked, there was nothing worth taking in there anymore – my measly amount of belongings had been stuffed into my bag.

It was just after curfew as I made my way to Adrian's room. I made sure to dodge the guardians who were patrolling, I stayed within the shadows of the trees and buildings where possible – the sun was still low in the sky, so shadows were of a bare minimum. I finally made it to the building where Adrian was staying. It was the accommodation where the moroi parents would stay when they were visiting their children. Since it wasn't a student dorm they didn't feel it was necessary to have anyone on duty in there, and that made it significantly easier for me to get inside. I made my way up the stairs and stopped at the door I knew would have Adrian behind it. I knocked loudly three times.

Through the door I heard the clang of bottles and someone stumbling heavily towards the door. I sighed at the thought of Adrian being drunk, I wasn't sure if that would work in my favour or not. I waited patiently – well as patiently as I could manage – for Adrian to open the door lazily, he wasn't drunk, but it looked like he'd only just woken up. A smile lit up on his face when he saw me standing on the opposite side of the threshold. He was exceptionally good looking when he smiled, and even though I didn't remotely have romantic feelings for him, I had to admit he was hot. I watched as his eyes swept down my body, and I saw as soon as they fell on the bag in my hand, his smile faltered before fading completely.

Without a word Adrian opened the door wider, a gesture allowing me to enter his room. It was a lot different to my room, a hell of a lot nicer too. I walked into what looked to be the lounge room. There was a large three seater couch with two matching arm chairs off to each side. Separating the couch and a large plasma TV hanging against the wall was a wooden coffee table, it was home to four empty vodka bottles. Off to the left there were two closed doors, I guessed they led to the bathroom and bedroom. The colour scheme was light, yet warm. The couch set was white, the plush carpet was cream, but the walls were tan. I sank into the couch, I had never sat on anything that felt like a cloud, it was so soft, yet it offered immense support. Adrian pushed the bottles aside – causing two of them to fall on the floor – and sat on the coffee table across from me. The look on his face was almost morbid.

"I'm guessing you're not here for a chat, or anything else that might be nice," he said with a weak wink.

"No, I wish I was though…for the chat I mean," I said quickly picking up on my almost slip up before it was too late. Adrian was interested in me – he hadn't made it a secret – but I just couldn't return those feelings. "I'm sorry about the other day, when I snapped at you."

"It's okay little dhampir," he said with a small smile. "So what do you need?"

"Well, as you can probably tell by the bag, I'm leaving the academy…" I started.

"Why?" He asked before I could continue with what I was saying.

I didn't answer for a bit, I was considering lying to him. I wasn't sure I could tell anyone else about the pregnancy – not after the reaction Dimitri had given me. But I wanted Adrian to help me, so I felt I shouldn't lie. Then there was the fact that I had told Lissa in the letter, so the chances that he would find out anyway were too high to risk not telling him the truth. I took a long, deep breath before answering.

"I found out that I'm pregnant," I said softly, my focus was solely on my hands. I braced myself for his response.

"Oh…wow…I don't quite know what to say to that," he said, I could see the shock radiating off him.

"There's not much to say. I opened my legs, I got pregnant, and the father thinks I'm a blood whore." I could feel tears starting to sting my eyes. I tried to push them back, the last thing I wanted to do was break down in front of Adrian, but I failed miserably.

"Oh Rose, you are not a blood whore, you know that as well as I do. Just because he thinks you are doesn't mean it's true. And it doesn't mean you have to leave. You have Lissa and I, you know we'll be by your side the whole time." The way Adrian said 'he' made it clear he knew who the baby's father was.

"I can't stay Adrian," I pleaded for him to understand. "I'm about six weeks along, which means I will be way too pregnant by the time the final trials come around. Plus there's the fact that I can't be the guardian I need to be while running around after a child. I have always said if I had a baby I would never do what my mother did. I can't just dump him or her at an academy at the youngest possible age and then never see them again cause I'm too busy."

"So your mind is made up then?" He asked sadly.

"I have to leave Adrian."

"Okay, so I'll ask again, what do you need?"

"Money," I said sheepishly. I hated the fact that I needed to ask him, especially when I hadn't been that nice to him since we met.

Without a word Adrian stood up from the coffee table and moved to the other side of the room, he disappeared through one of the doors. A few minutes later he reappeared with a small black back pack in his hand. Again he didn't say a word, he simply moved back to the coffee table and sat back down. His eyes remained on the floor, they only slipped up to meet mine when he spoke.

"There's several thousand in here, it should get you started somewhere," he told me as he handed over the bag.

"I don't think I could ever thank you enough for this Adrian," I told him as I took his hand in mine. "Maybe one day I can pay you back." I knew it was wishful thinking.

"No need little dhampir. I will give you anything you need," he said as he gently squeezed my hand. "Do you know where you'll go?"

"At the moment, I have no idea. But I'll find somewhere, I went on the run with Lissa remember." I tried to smile and put my usual Rose Hathaway bravado into it, but even I knew I didn't succeed with that.

"And how are you getting away from the academy? You know since the attack they have more guardian's patrolling the grounds," he questioned.

As much as I hated to admit it, he had me there. They had doubled the patrols since the attack happened, even during the moroi night. That would have made it a whole lot harder to get away, even if I took off out the back. Then there was the fact that the academy was in the mountains. I would have been able to make the hike, but I would have run the risk of them sending guardians after me and dragging me back – again. The only reason Lissa and I had escaped before was because she had used compulsion, but I was lacking that. I sighed in defeat. I was going to be stuck at the academy, seeing the love of my life – who thought of me as a slut – every day. The only hope I had left was that they would kick me out.

"Guess I'm stuck here," I said as depression washed over me.

"If you're that determined to go, I will help you get out," he said, I could almost see the depression washing over him too.

"It's not so much determination, it's the fact that I can't stay here, not when he thinks so low of me, and you know he won't be the only one thinking that way. When I tried to tell him today, he wouldn't even listen to me. He called me a…" I broke down as Dimitri's words echoes in my head, tears streamed down my face. "I have to leave Adrian, if I have any chance of making it through this, I need to leave."

"Shhh little dhampir," he soothed as he moved onto the couch next to me and pulled me into his arms. "It's his loss, he's the stupid one here. He doesn't know what he's missing." He ran his fingers through my hair. "What are you telling Lissa?"

"I left her a letter in my room. I can't see her before I go. I know it's selfish, but she will force me into staying. If I stay I won't be able to be her guardian anyway. It's better this way," I said softly in between sobs as I nestled my head into his neck.

"Okay, then lets go," he said, taking me by surprise. "It's well after curfew, so there will be less chance that you'll be seen."

"But what if they do see me?" I asked slightly worried.

"I'll use compulsion," he said with distain in his voice, it was all but illegal to use compulsion on any dhampir or moroi, but he was doing it for me.

I simply nodded my head and pulled myself off of the couch. I tried to gather my bags but Adrian took them off me and we headed out the door. Quietly we slipped out the back door of the building, my eyes were darting in every direction, searching for anyone who might see us. Adrian ran into one guardian, but luckily I was out of view when he walked up to him. I stayed where I was while he spoke to Adrian. Adrian told him he'd decided to go shopping for the day which is why he was out so late. He got away with it for the simple fact that he wasn't a student. The guardian soon went on his way and we continued on ours to the car park. Adrian walked up to his car and opened the back. I was about to get in, but he just laughed and gently pushed me to the side.

"I'll compel them to forget they saw you little dhampir. I'm not about to let a pregnant woman ride in the trunk," he said with a slight laugh.

"Oh," I said as I tried to hide my embarrassment, I felt the warmth spread across my cheeks.

He put my bags in the trunk and we got settled into the car. He did as he said he would, he compelled the guardians at the front gate to forget they saw me, and he spilled the same story about going shopping in Missoula. Once we got out of the front gates I could finally settle down. I loved his car. It was a brand new black Hummer H2, luxury of course, the heavily tinted windows were hard to see out of even with my improved vision. The comfort level was beyond imagination. This was the sort of car I dreamed of owning, and I was sure that's where it would stay.

We drove the whole way to Missoula in silence. I wasn't in the mood for small talk, and I don't think Adrian knew what to say. We held hands the entire way though. It wasn't anything romantic, it was comforting, for us both. Just knowing each other were there was nice, even if it wasn't going to last. I was quite surprised to find that we didn't head for the airport when we made it to Missoula. The airport signs pointed in once direction, Adrian went the other way. I was about to say something but he beat me to it.

"I need to know that you're going to be able to support yourself and the baby Rose. So we're going to the bank to set up an account for you." I was about to object, but he continued. "Rose, you aren't going to be able to work for at least eight months, and you will need to buy the essentials for the little one. Not to mention you'll need rent and food and clothes, and everything like that. So little dhampir, I won't take no for an answer," he told me, I heard the determination in his voice.

I didn't fight him on it, I couldn't, he was right. I had absolutely no idea how much it was going to cost to get set up for the baby. I didn't want to accept any more money than he had already given me, but I had no other option, I just really hoped I could somehow repay him some day. It took us around ten minutes to reach the bank, luckily Adrian know where he was going. Although it was a predominantly moroi and dhampir bank, it operated on human hours, so it was open when we arrived. I was about to get out of the car but Adrian asked me to stay put, he reminded me that I needed to stay low so people didn't see me. I agreed and he ran off into the bank.

It was a while before Adrian came back, and I was getting anxious. The longer he took, the higher the risk was of the academy realising I was gone. I wanted to be as far away as possible when the alarm was raised – if the alarm was raised, maybe i'd get lucky and no one would care. Adrian came back with a hand full of papers. He jumped into the car and handed them to me, I shuffled through them, trying to figure out what the hell they meant, but I couldn't make much sense out of them. One page had a shiny new Visa card attached to it.

"I set up an account that is linked to mine, that way I can easily transfer money when needed," he explained to me. "You have your own card to use whenever required. It's a credit card so you can order online if you need to. And you have my word that I won't use it to track where you are. On one condition that is." He paused waiting for my response.

I nodded my head slowly, a little worried about what his condition would be.

"You need to keep in contact with me, you don't need to tell me where you are or anything like that, just an e-mail or a call once in a while, anything so I know that you're going okay," he told me with a slight smile.

"I planned on that anyway," I told him as I softly elbowed him in the arm.

Adrian's smile widened as he started the car and pulled away from the bank. It was at that moment I realised I had really misjudged him. I had always thought of him as an alcoholic womanising royal who believed he could get anything – and anyone – he wanted. But when it really came down to it, he really did care. He didn't have to help me, but he had put himself in the line of fire to help me escape, he had openly given me thousands of dollars, and he didn't even agree with my decision.

Within half an hour we arrived at the airport. Traffic had been busy, so there was a lot of stopping along the way. He pulled into the drop off bay and we both got out of the car. Adrian got my bags out of the back and placed them on the ground. He looked at me with so much sadness in his eyes. The pain on his face made me feel like I was dying inside. I was so sick of hurting the people in my life, they deserved so much better.

"I'm really going to miss you little dhampir," he told me as he pulled me into a tight hug.

"I'm going to miss you too Adrian. You can visit me though," I told him, referring to my dreams.

"You can count on that," he told me sadly.

"Please don't tell Lissa anything though," I pleaded. "Not that she'll probably want to know anything after reading that letter," I said softly as a tear rolled down my cheek.

"Just take care of yourself Rose, and this beautiful little baby growing in here," he told me sternly as he placed a hand on my stomach.

"I will." I pulled away from him.

"Will I see you again?" There was so much hope held in his voice.

"I don't know Adrian. I really don't," I admitted. "I wish I could say yes, but I don't want to lie to you." More tears streamed down from my eyes.

Adrian tried to wipe the tears away, but they were coming too fast. He pulled me into another tight hug soothing me with whispers as he ran his fingers through my hair. I had always hated saying goodbye.

"I have to get going Adrian." I hated to say it, but I really did have to go, I was on the verge of telling him to take me back to the academy. Weakness wasn't my style, I had broken down enough in front of him for one day. I needed to stay with my decision, I couldn't allow myself to give in.

I pulled out of the hug and picked up my bags. I couldn't say anything else, I just walked away with tears streaking my face. I couldn't bring myself to look at him again, it was already breaking my heart more than I thought it could have. I walked into the airport and looked at the departures screen. I didn't know where I was going to go. I had no idea where any dhampir communes were. I stood there staring at the screen for a while, just thinking. Suddenly it hit me. Dimitri had talked about his family in Baia. He said it was a community largely populated by single dhampir mothers. Sure I was probably crazy going to a country where I didn't speak the language, but no one would think to look for me there, and I was sure I could learn.

I walked up to the counter to find a pretty human woman waiting for her next customer, my guess was that she was around thirty years old. She had long blond hair that was pulled back into a loose ponytail, her eyes were a deep dark blue. Her smile was warm as I approached the counter.

"How can I help you?" She asked kindly.

"I need to buy a ticket…to Novosibirsk…one way," I told her, stuttering through my thoughts.

"Okay," she said as she started typing. Her fingers moved like a cheetah chasing after its prey. "We have a flight leaving in an hour, but it has two connects," she told me while still looking at her screen.

"That's fine."

"Do you have a passport?" She asked, briefly looking at me.

I rifled through my bag searching for what she needed to finish processing my ticket. I knew I had packed it, it was just a matter of finding the small book amoungst my clothes. I finally handed it to her with a small smile. When I had got the documents I had made sure I used a different name on them, my name for travelling purposes would be Levanna Jones she was nineteen years old. The woman continued typing quickly as I waited somewhat patiently.

"Do you want to check your bags?" She asked, I shook my head in reply.

She continued typing and clicking for another couple of minutes. I started getting more and more impatient as the seconds ticked by, my foot tapped involuntarily as I waited.

"That will be three thousand one hundred and twenty two dollars," she said with a smile. "How would you like to pay for that?"

I thought for a moment about using the card Adrian had given me, but decided against it. If anyone found out he had helped me they would be able to find my location through the transaction history.

"Cash," I told her as I opened the small back pack Adrian had given me and took out two large wads of cash.

The woman slowly counted out the money she needed and handed back what she didn't. She typed a little more and then hit the enter key. I couldn't help but let out a sigh of relief when I heard the printer kick in.

"Okay, Miss Jones, here's your ticket," she said as she handed it to me. "You're gate number is on the ticket, in the top right corner. You will be required to check in at each of your stop overs," she informed me.

I nodded my thanks to her before quickly leaving the counter. I got through security without a problem – though I didn't have a stake or any weapons with me – and rushed to find my gate number so that I didn't miss my flight. My flight was finally called, I boarded the plane saying a silent final goodbye to Missoula and everyone I loved.