Takes place during the end of season 4
They say "absence makes the heart grow fonder", but right now at this very moment, as I watch him lying in bed, absent in every way except physical, this deficiency only causes pain.
The millions of things I should have said, I should have told him speed through my head as I try to keep my emotions in check. As I told Angela, this isn't about me.
The surgery went fine, the doctors were proficient but it is this impenetrable waiting game that frightens me most. He can't leave me, can he? The statistics answer my own question though I try vehemently to disagree. Think with your heart he would tell me, as anatomically incorrect as the statement is. But my heart can't stop every terrible scenario bleeding though my thoughts.
The team has been doing everything that they can, for him and for me. Even though they think I'm socially inept, I don't miss the looks between them after I refuse to leave his side once again. It's not that I don't want to, but I can't. I can't miss that moment if, no when, he wakes up. Or if he doesn't I think cynically, trying to shake away the icy threads of fear that slip through me, latching on with fingers of steel. So as I look into Angela's pity filled eyes I try to articulate the pain constricting my heart,
"I just can't."
She nods quietly, understanding more than she needed to. She gives my arm a supporting squeeze and leaves again, leaving me to stare at the listless man in front of me.
Yes they may say that "absence makes the heart grow fonder" but I'm inclined to disagree.
