Chapter 2: School is nice
My eyes slowly awakened as the constant ringing of the alarm clock filled my ears. Once we had arrived at the house, I noticed it was identical to the new kid's house from the Stick of Truth. I doubted we would be playing that game anytime soon, so I hopped out of bed.
My parents had driven me from their car. It was a nice change from having to sit in the sticky, torn seats of a Chicago bus. I stepped outside only to be greeted with the monitors whistles dismissing children. Then, I stopped. Ding! I had was particularly good at memorizing and learning. Also, I even had rewards like state championship fencing. I even knew how to beat people twice my size from all my street fights in Chicago, fights that my parents never heard about. It could really work.
If your lost, then let me connect the dots. One day when I was still watching South Park, an episode that I found kind of funny came on. It was called All About Mormons, and it was basically about a new kid who moved to town and the guys thought he's an asshole, but he's actually a very nice kid. If you want to know more then watch the episode but anyways, the boys make Stan fight this kid to show who's boss. The new kid let's Stan hit him saying how he understands this is like an initiation right, but Stan gets guilty and the new kid makes him into his friend. This leaves a
completely surprised Stan wondering how he became friends with him so quickly. Basically, I get the kids worked up and get them to send Stan in, then I'll beat the shit out of him declaring my dominance. I know I'm an asshole.
"This is gonna be priceless," I thought to myself.
I had made my way to the classroom and to my surprise, everything had went as planned. The teacher seem to talk about my rewards and my state championship awards.
" I'm really excited to live in this town and share all kinds of great experiences with you, my new friends!" I exclaimed in a tone that was friendly as possible.
It had worked perfectly. I could just feel I was being cursed at, and to top it off I was great in class. I didn't have as many rewards, but it was sufficient.
For the rest of lunch, I sat outside.
I decided to go play with the ball since that's what the new kid did in the show and because I'm fairly good at soccer. The boys are all kind of huddled in a crowd. In the corner of my eye, I see Stan pacing towards me.
"Oh, hi! Do you wanna play ball with me?" I said. Good, I seemed completely inconspicuous.
"No, I'm gonna kick your ass," he said really quietly.
"Excuse me," I said.
"I'm gonna kick your ass...bitch," he said very hesitantly.
"Well I'm suprised by this, but trust me you don't wanna fight me," I said."Unless your looking to get your ass kicked," I said with a chuckle.
"Quit spewing shit, new kid," he said, now starting to lose all sympathy for me.
"Okay if you want to fight, then bring it on because I'm not gonna get my ass kicked on my first day here," I said getting a bit more hostile. For the record, I didn't actually want to kick Stan's ass, but I knew how they did it here from watching over 250 episodes of this show. If you showed you were weak, then they would bully and take advantage of you. Pip is a perfect example of this. Basically, kick ass then kindness, so you can stop calling me an asswipe.
Stan lunges at me and when he did that, I knew this was going to be easy. In my school, kids grabbed hard sticks and hit each other in weak areas. It was a shitty school, but it helped me build character and tell the difference between a pro fighter and someone who's just swinging punches. Stan was obviously never fought before.
I dodged his swing and kicked his legs swiftly. He fell over and I started landing a barrage of punches as he was on the floor. At this point I had already won, but I had to make people respect my authority. I grabbed him by the legs and swung his body smashing him into the walls. I picked up his body and put him by the jungle gym facing up.
"Respect my authority, bitch," I whispered as I climbed the jungle gym and landed right next to him. I'm not a monster. I mean I'm not gonna jump on the poor guy, but I did give him a hard kick to the ribs. He was probably smashed up to the point where the ambulance would've came in. At this point, everyone was staring at me, the boys with their jaws dropped and some collecting money. Mr. Garrison, the recess monitor, didn't even notice the fight and just told us to get back to class."Damn, I think people are afraid of me. I probably should have gone easier on him,".
Sorry, I know it was kind of a shitty fight scene. Also, Allister is not an asshole he just doesn't wanna get bullied. Criticism is allowed for the sake of me get better at writing.
