Grosvenor Square, London
20 May 1797
Madam,
I did not expect a reply to my letter, but to receive one such as yours is not regrettable . I do appreciate the circumspection with which you write about my family. I at least judged correctly that the victim of that man's schemes would be properly protected by yourself. I give you leave to tell your father what you have learned-omitting the worst. He may write to me if he wishes for confirmation and specifics regarding the man in question's debts etc. I suspect that it is my own guilt in hiding him that has prevented me from making the situation more widely understood. It has been my habit these many years to ensure that no gossip about my family be bandied about. I had no desire for my father's good judgement being called into question over his affection for this man, nor in general any information about my sister or myself be dissected before individuals wholly unconnected to us. Alas, to be talked of not at all is an unrealistic expectation of any society, no matter how uncomfortable it makes me.
I do not wish to trod overwarn trails. I have already said too much on the subject of your family.I admit I did not know of the entail and while it does put much of what I saw in a different light it seems that the very thing your mother wishes, however well intentioned, is the very thing she prevents. My interference between my friend and your sister-and I now see that it was interference- was as much for Miss Bennet as it was for Mr. Bingley. Your sister is the kind of person who would not wish to disappoint any person, and I did not wish her coerced into a marriage she did not wish for. I have been forced to take stock of my own character in light of recent misconceptions. It is possible to hide one's intentions too well, intending to behave in an unimpeachable way, and now I am able to see something of myself in your sister.
You are right of course in believing that a closer familiarity leads to a more sympathetic understanding of the follies of those in our society. And when we choose to be pleased we generally will be. For my entire stay in Hertfordshire I resolved to choose otherwise, and cannot impune your similar decision. After these many weeks distance I am able to see more clearly my offences, and even knowing that it would change nothing, I do earnestly regret the incivility in my words. If you would accept my apology, you have it..
I have not seen my friend since my return from Kent, as he had business northward. His letters, or what I can read of them, lead me to believe that should some affection still exist in your sister, he need only be informed and he will return to the neighborhood. I too am in a quandary about how much to say on this matter. Any information given to me by yourself, I believe I have no right to share. I have already resolved to explain my own actions, but in doing so I may give away more information than you would wish. In truth when I do so, I have no expectation of his continuing friendship, but I will right the wrong. Would his return still be welcome? And may I share what I know?
Fitzwillam Darcy
