After that frightful night Barney decided to move towns once again, but on the road he reicieved a transmission from the Society of Child Rapists Worldwide, or S.C.R.W. For short. "Barney" said Shrek " Me and donkey have been scouting around your area and found what appears to be a fleet of bombers heading your way! Also there's a passenger plane nearby." Barney wasted no time he drove into his dick, and parked the Barneymobile. He then exited the sex cave, and jumped up to intercept the passenger plane. He smashed through the bottom of the plane, and his dick quickly put all the children that were in the plane, in the cave, and returned. "Aw come on you could't have saved one for right now? Whatever, let's find the youngest person left. They look around as parents cried and passengers stared dumbstruck. "Ah here we go I found young ginger!" Said Barney excitedly "Eugene eh." He pushed Eugene into the planes bathroom and turned of the light "No, I'm not ready for this level of commitment" said Eugene, luckily for him the army started shooting at the plane. "Damn it, those planes were fighters, not bombers!" Said Barney "Alright big guy you no what to do. Barney jumped out the side of the plane. The planes shot at him but he swerved out of the way. He was about to use his signature attack, the Dick Explosion! It's similar to the maneuver his dick used the previous night but much more deadly. His dick shrank to be incredibly thin and speeded towards the fighter jets it went straight through the fuel tanks and up the pilots' ass, then, in a blinding instant his dick expanded causing both the jets, and the pilots to explode. He then went back into the sex cave and got into the Barneymobile, and continued driving. He then sent a transmission back to Shrek. "I want the name of the man who authorized that strike, now!" He said "All right, just a moment" said Shrek "Some guy named Steve Schwartz." He went on "works at the pentagon" Barney drove off as fast as he could towards the pentagon
"Sir, something is speeding towards us at 756 MPH, It may be a missle!" Said a solider "Oh god that isn't a missle, IT'S BARNEY! SOUND THE ALARM!" Everyone rushed to the bunker as Barney drove towards them. When he got there he dived dick first into the pentagon leveling it to the ground and leaving a gigantic hole in the roof of the bunker "STTTTTTTEEEEEEVVVVVVEEEEEE" he roared as he tore the entire roof off of the bunker. "Please, I have a wife and family!" Said Steve "Shouldn't have told me that!" Replied Barney "Wait, I-I-I-can tell you who let me authorize the jets!" Steve bargained "Well if it isn't you I can't let them go unpunished!" Said Barney "it was Trump!" Said Steve "I see, oh and one more thing give me a calendar." Said Barney "Ha, thought you could pull a fast one on me did you! Today's bring your daughter to work day!" With that he quickly ran around the bunker, storing all the little, and not so little, girls in his dick. When he had crashed into the Oval Office however he was not met with a cowering trump, but an angry one. "Damnit Sam you told me that jet force would y'uge! You said that dinosaur would be very dead, but here he is now, very not dead! You're fired! I only deal with the very best!" Said Trump. There was a monitor with a man with the most magnificent beard the world had ever seen. "I did the best with the knowledge I was given, I thought 20 would be enough!" He said in a thick Irish accent. The man lost connection and left. "That was Samuel O'Conner, or as he calls him self, 'The Anime Missionary', pretentious asshole. Anyways, I assume you came to kill me and/or rape my beautiful daughter?" Said Trump "I figured she looked young enough" replied Barney "Well before you do, kill that asshole Sam for me, will you!" Asked trump "sure, why not" replied Barney. And so, Barney drove to Ireland, but when he got there he got a feeling better than every orgasm he'd ever had put together. He tried to kill Sam, but his beard was too amazing "Damnit, I might not be able to murder that beautiful beard, but I know someone who can, tomorrow we fight at Stitling bridge!" So Barney went out to find the most vile, evil, disgusting individuals he knew CNN journalists, and they were led by the most despicable person he knew, Justin Beiber. Barney wasn't the only one mustering an army. Samuel had rallied weeaboos from all over the world. On top of this, he had an elite force of 100 cosplayers and self proclaimed ninjas.
"Sons of Anime, I am Samuel O'Conner senpai-san desu." Said Samuel. "Samuel O'Conner senpai-san is 7 feet tall desu." Replied a young weeb. "Yes, I've heard desu. Kills men by the hundreds, and if he were here he'd consume CNN with katanas from his eyes and anime body pillows from his arse desu. I AM Samuel O'Conner senpai-san desu. And I see a whole army of my fellow weeaboos here in defiance of tyranny desu. You have come to fight as free men, and free men you are. What would you do without freedom desu? Will you fight desu?" Asked Samuel "Fight desu? Against that desu? No, we will run; and we will live desu." Answered a cosplayer "Aye, fight and you may die desu. Run and you'll live -- at least a while desu. And dying in your beds many years from now, would you be willing to trade all the days from this day to that for one chance, just one chance to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they'll never take our freedom desu!" Yelled Samuel. And so Samuel's forces, and Barney's clashed in a brutal spectacle on that Scottish bridge. An hour into the battle however, it was apparent that Barney was winning. CNN wrote fake news, and Justin Beiber sang bad enough to make the weeaboos' heads explode. But When things were looking the most dire, there was an anime plot twist. The ghost of William Wallace appeared to talk to Sam. "Samuel you aren't a full blooded Irishman, you're half Scottish! And a kinsman to me no less! I know you will push back CNN just as I repelled the English here at the battle of Stirling!" He said. Filled with newfound confidence Samuel. Sam put his hands behind his back, and ran, Naruto style, towards Justin he jumped into the air did some ninja hand signs and pulled a glowing red katana out of his hand. He came down and decapitated Beiber. Cracks started forming in the ground, golden light started pouring out as Sam rose of the ground. There was a blinding flash as Sam fell back down to the ground, he had ascended to a stage 26 weeaboo. He flew towards Barney and punched him in the dick so hard he flew into the horizon "I'm blasting off again!" Yelled Barney.
