Matthew watched as his mother trimmed Alfred's hair. His brother sat on a wooden stool in front of the only mirror in their home. Year round it was covered by a painting and was only uncovered on the second day of every third month, when their faction allowed them to look in it. The Abnegation considered it vain and self-indulgent to worry about appearances. Vanity was frowned upon.

Matthew leaned against the door frame watching quietly.

It was uniform style for the Abnegation women to have longer hair that they twisted up into a bun or a braid, while the men had their's cut short and the sides shaved to a respectable length. Nothing that would draw attention to them or anything to accentuate their looks.

Considering what a life changing year it was, their mother had let the boys keep their hair however they wanted it, so long as it was brushed and presentable. Alfred's hair was a bit shaggy, at the length where it had a mind of it's own. One particular piece in the front stuck up in the most stubborn cow-lick. Matthew's own hair was longer then Alfred's, coming down to his jaw. He had been surprised to find out that when it grew out his hair was curly. His face was now framed in soft curls that his mother said made him look like an angel.

Matthew watched little snippets of blond hair fall to the ground. Everyone in his family was blond. Alfred and his father had a golden wheat colour while his mother had light hair. His own was a delicate mix between the two; a pleasant golden honey colour.

Alfred's eyes drifted away from his reflection in the mirror over to where Matthew stood. Matthew watched his older brother regard him for a few seconds before twisting his regularly handsome face into a hilariously unflattering one, keeping it in place until Matthew started to laugh.

"Alfred, stop making faces at your brother and sit still please. I don't want to trim it uneven." Their mother said sternly, though they could hear the smile and playful edge to her words. "Matthew, why don't you go have some early breakfast? You barely ate last night."

Matthew shook his head, "I'm not hungry."

His Mom stopped cutting Alfred's hair and set her hand on his shoulder, looking seriously over at Matthew's reflection.

"My stomach hurts." He explained, placing his hand over his stomach for added affect. His mother's gazed softened and she smiled warmly at him before returning to Alfred's hair.

"Are you nervous, honey?"

"A bit." His voice came out softer than he had meant for it to.


Matthew and Alfred walked side by side to the the bus stop. Alfred was humming a simple tune like he always did and Matthew found a bit of comfort in the routine. He felt better knowing that his brother was his usual self and not plagued with anxiety about the test.

Alfred continued humming until the bus came into sight. He stopped abruptly and stood up straight. Abnegation were supposed to be seen as serious at all times.

Once the bus stopped the two climbed on board, Alfred first with Matthew at his heels. There was one seat left and Alfred didn't hesitate to gesture for Matthew to take it. He stood in front of Matthew's seat and held the safety bar poised just above his head for balance.

Matthew looked up at Alfred, envious of his brother's stature. At 16 Alfred had already grown to being just a few inches shy of their father, while Matthew was just a touch above his brother's shoulders in height. Their mother often joked that Alfred had hit all his growth spurts and some of Matthew's too. Along with height, Alfred had been blessed with natural muscle tone and much to Matthew's chagrin, he seemed quite the opposite, being thin and slender and delicate. Where Alfred had muscle definition, Matthew had soft skin that was drastically pale in comparison to his brother's natural tan. Alfred was just like their father. These things just happened naturally for them.

And Matthew was envious.

He had wanted to gain muscle but running and exercising for one's personal pleasure or aesthetic reasons wasn't allowed in Abnegation, so Matthew had settled, albeit discontentedly, with himself. His appearance wasn't something he could change so he dealt with the times in which he had been called girly or feminine with practised patience. One particularly embarrassing time, Matthew recalled from memory, his lower-levels Faction History teacher had called him "little girl". It had been an honest mistake and a slip of the tongue, but Matthew had sat there red faced while the rest of the class, save for the other Abnegation students, had laughed loudly.

Pulled from his thoughts as the bus came to a stop, Matthew climbed off after Alfred. They entered the school together and moved around to Alfred's locker.

They kept all their things together in one locker to save space for others who might need it more. Once they gathered their necessary books Alfred turned to smile at Matthew.

"So I guess I'll see you in the cafeteria then?" He asked, his eyes eagerly watching the window on the other side of the hall.

Matthew nodded. "Yeah. I'll see you there later. Have a good day, Alfred."

Alfred gave Matthew a quick grin and said, "See ya later, little brother!" Before he quickly waltzed away from Matthew, towards the window.

Matthew watched his brother stare out the window for a moment before heading to his Math class, wondering why Alfred enjoyed watching the Dauntless students jump off the train so much. It seemed scarily unnecessary that the Dauntless' main mode of transportation was jumping on and off moving trains. Matthew tried not to be judgemental, to keep an open mind. Every faction was different. Different styles, different lives, different values.

Matthew slipped into his class unnoticed and took his seat beside an Erudite boy who never failed to make him feel intellectually inferior every time he opened his mouth, though he never mentioned it to avoid conflict. Matthew glanced around the small classroom, at the faces of the students already in the room. He wouldn't see much more of them. Classes that day were all cut in half and the aptitude tests began at lunch in the cafeteria.

Matthew took a deep breath, trying hard to fend off the lingering anxiety. He cracked open his text book to the page his teacher instructed and tried to lose himself in his studies.


Matthew's fingers ran over the hem of his gray jacket sleeves, which were just a bit too long for him. Though so were the pants, hand-me-downs from Alfred.

The cafeteria was packed with chattering 16 year old's and Matthew let his eyes drift to the sea of colour blocks, invisible barriers keeping each one in section. The Dauntless, loud and full of shouting voices, were dressed almost completely in black near the back of the room. Occasional glints from their jewellery caught Matthew's attention. The Candor, off to the side, in black slacks with white shirts, were debating something in hushed tones. Matthew figured it was friendly based on the smiling, laughing faces. The Erudite, sitting opposite them, were wearing blue sweaters and shirts and talking about things Matthew didn't know about using words Matthew didn't understand. The Amity were sitting close by, a small pattern of red and yellow. The boys all chatted happily while the girls sat together singing a song with rhyming words. The Amity always seemed so happy and relaxed.

And then there were the Abnegation, where Matthew sat. A bland spot of gray completely quiet, save for the occasional whisper from Alfred.

Matthew watched as two more students from each faction were called into the test rooms. He glanced over at Alfred who smiled reassuringly at him.

Matthew smiled back, though it felt forced. He wondered what faction Alfred would be best suited for. Alfred would probably get and stay in Abnegation, if that's what Matthew picked. Alfred had always claimed that he was 'the Hero of Abnegation' and that where ever help was needed, he would be there. Ready to act selflessly and protect others. Alfred was practically fearless.

Matthew wondered where he belonged. Dauntless, the brave? He wasn't very brave at all. Erudite, the intelligent? Based on his science lesson score, that was highly unlikely. Candor, the honest? Maybe, he reasoned. Part of being selfless consisted of being honest with people and he had always tried to tell the truth. Though he could recall instances where he had lied to his parents or teachers. Amity, the peaceful? Matthew thought he could belong there, they were nice and calm and always happy. Or finally Abnegation, the selfless? The faction that his parents resided in. He didn't know if he could just leave them. He wondered if he could be selfless enough, care more for others than himself, for the rest of his life.

Before he knew it they were calling more names for the aptitude tests and Matthew held his breath, knowing he was going to be chosen next.

He and Alfred were the only two from Abnegation who hadn't been called yet.

Two from Dauntless, two from Erudite, two from Candor, and two from Amity.

"And from Abnegation: Alfred Jones and Matthew Jones." They looked at one another before standing and walking toward the hall. They usually didn't call siblings at the same time, but they would be in separate rooms so Matthew figured it didn't matter anyway.

Matthew took a deep breath as he stood in front of room #7, watching as Alfred casually strolled into room #8. The only two rooms without Abnegation volunteers running the test. It was a rule that they could not be tested by someone within the same faction as them.

Matthew felt the nervous queasiness building in his stomach again. They had been told there was no way they could study or prepare for the test. Some Dauntless students had said that it was a physical test, that they inject you with a serum that causes pain to see how high your tolerance is. Or that you have to answer personal questions- embarrassing ones- under truth serum. Matthew didn't believe they were telling the truth, but the feeling in his stomach got worse as he thought about it.

He stood with his hand hovering over the door handle until the door flew open and a Dauntless women almost walked into him.

"Oh!" She exclaimed in surprise, taking a step back. "Are you Matthew Jones?"

Matthew opened him mouth to confirm but all that came out was a small, "Uh-huh." And a head nod.

She grinned at him and stepped aside, "Well come on in. I was just on my way to see where you were. Have you been standing out there the whole time?"

Matthew felt his cheeks warming up and he nodded again, stepping into the room.

The woman walked over to where a chair, much like the one Matthew had seen in the dentist's office, sat. Beside it was a machine Matthew didn't recognize. It looked dangerous. A plain plastic chair sat close to the machine. The walls of the room were covered in mirror panels. He could see his reflection everywhere he looked and it made him feel even more uncomfortable.

Finally his eyes settled on the woman again. She was from Dauntless, that much was obvious. She wore tight black pants and a white blouse, with a black blazer on top. Her shoes were shiny and black, with a heel that Matthew figured if used right could kill a man. She had a dark red flower pinned in her hair, holding her brown bangs out of her face. The rest of her hair fell in long curls down her back. Matthew realized that much to his embarrassment, she had been watching him stare the entire time, an amused smile on her face.

With his attention back on her she cleared her throat a bit and said, "My name is Elizabeta but you can call me Liz and I'll be doing your test today, okay?"

"Uh, okay." Matthew swallowed thickly, wondering why he was so nervous about the test. "My name's Matthew." He added before realizing that she already knew his name. He felt the blood rushing to his cheeks again and looked away.

Liz laughed softly but didn't mention his mistake, instead she gestured to the dentist like chair. "Take a seat and get comfortable, Matthew."

Matthew slid onto the chair and let his head fall against the headrest for just a moment before straightening up again and looking over at Liz, who had just sat down. "It... It's not going to hurt is it?"

"What? Of course not! Don't worry. It doesn't hurt a bit." The smile on her face never faded as she waited for Matthew to recline again. When he did she put an electrode on his forehead. "Are you nervous?"

"Yeah." He watched her stick an electrode to her own forehead.

"Why are you so nervous?" Another electrode near his temple.

"I..." Matthew hesitated a moment, all of his worry was because he was scared his results would be something completely different than what Alfred's results were and their parents would be disappointed and they would all be split up. What if he chose the wrong faction? What if Alfred hated him for it? What if their parents hated him if he left?

"I don't know." He whispered.

"Just relax, this is simple and shouldn't take too long." She began fixing wires between her and Matthew and their electrodes and then again from her to the machine.

"You have pretty long hair for an Abnegation boy." Liz commented.

"My Mom decided to let me and my brother wear our hair however we want this year." Matthew adjusted himself on the chair, sitting up a bit. Glancing over at Liz, who was pressing various buttons on the machine. She turned back and smiled at him.

"Smart lady. Alright! All set up. Are you ready, Matthew?" Liz picked up a small glass vial that had a clear liquid in it, Matthew would have thought it was water but it looked a bit thicker.

She handed him the vial and sat back. "Drink this when you're ready to begin."

Matthew took one final deep breath to steady himself and calm his nerves before he put the vial to his lips and tipped back the contents, swallowing it all with one gulp. He closed his eyes and felt Liz take the vial from him. When he opened his eyes he was no longer sitting in the dentist like chair, but standing alone in the dimly lit cafeteria.

A single spotlight illuminated the area around of him, casting an eerie orange glow through the room. The tables had all been pushed aside, except for one that sat directly in front of him. Sitting upon on it were two baskets, both contained one item each. The left held a block of cheese and the right, a knife.

"Choose one." A deep male voice echoed through the room. Matthew glanced around, looking for the source of the voice, but he was completely alone. He took a step towards the baskets and glanced between the two, weighing the options.

A knife could pose extremely useful in many scenarios, but it also seemed to suggest some type of violence that Matthew was uncomfortable with. The cheese, while providing food, suggested something Matthew felt was peaceful.

Reaching out Matthew grabbed the basket with the cheese block in it. The world around him warped and he was suddenly standing with a man who looked unbelievably angry, another man not far from them stood with his back turned.

The angry man turned to Matthew and glared at him, "What do you have in that basket? You have a knife, don't you?! Give it to me!"

Matthew felt his stomach churn with panic, he had a weird sense that told him he did have a knife in his basket, though he was certain he had chosen the other. He glanced down to see if the cheese was still there and was surprised to see it was gone and a checkered blanket was covering the new contents now. The blanket bulged in places and Matthew could see the corner of a book peeking out. A pang of curiosity hit him, but he ignored it in favour of figuring out what was going on.

"Answer me!" The man yelled, "Give me the knife!"

Matthew looked back at the man with his back turned and then at the angry man again, his mind was reeling, trying to make sense of the situation. "Are you going to hurt that man over there?" He asked, sparing another glance at the not angry man.

"I'm gonna kill him. He ruined my life!" The angry man seethed, taking a large step towards Matthew, who jolted in surprise. He didn't want anyone to get hurt. He needed to keep everyone, including himself, safe and out of harms way.

"I don't have a knife! I don't- really!" Matthew squawked out in alarm, taking a step back. "I don't have any weapons, just a blanket!"

The angry man narrowed his eyes at Matthew and sneered at him, "So you're on his side, that what you're sayin'?"

Matthew shook his head and held his hands up in front of him, the basket hanging by it's handle in the crook of his elbow. "I'm not on anyone's side. I just don't have a knife." Matthew hesitated then added, though quietly, "And-and even if I did I wouldn't give it to you. Violence doesn't solve anything."

The man seemed to calm down a bit, he nodded his head and rubbed his scruffy face. "Yeah... Yeah, I guess you're right."

Matthew felt himself relax, with the man no longer angry it was as though someone had lifted a tremendous weight off his shoulders. He blinked and when he opened his eyes again, he was sitting in the dentist like chair with Liz at his side, looking at the machine.

Finally Liz turned to him and smiled, "How do you feel?" She asked.

Matthew shrugged, his body felt a bit sluggish, like he was coming out of sleep, but his heart was racing. "Okay, I guess."

Liz nodded and pulled the electrodes off her face before starting on Matthew's. "Would you like to hear the results of your aptitude test now?"

"Okay," Matthew said, wiping his sweaty palms off on his pants.

"Alright," Liz leaned back in her chair and glanced at the machine before looking back at Matthew. "By not choosing the knife in the first simulation you ruled out Dauntless. You put a bit of thought into the baskets rather than just grabbing one, which could suggest Erudite. So I threw a book in your basket in the second simulation and even though you were curious, you didn't touch it. That ruled out Erudite. By not offering to help either man, or offering yourself to save the other man, and to a lesser degree; lying, you ruled out Abnegation. And finally by lying to the man, you ruled out Candor." Liz took a deep breath and let it out before smiling brightly again, "You didn't take the knife because you associated it with violence and you were willing to lie to the man to keep the peace between everyone and because of that you have a high aptitude for Amity. That is the faction that best suits you."

Matthew sat there quietly for a moment, letting the information sink in. His stomach began to twist again. He wasn't selfless enough for Abnegation, he wasn't good enough for his faction.

The look on his face must have told Liz exactly what he was thinking because she sat forward and pat Matthew's arm gently. "Just remember that even though it's not your aptitude result, you can still choose whatever you feel is right for you. If Abnegation is where you feel you belong, then that's where you should stay." She smiled warmly at him and stood up. Matthew followed suit and stood as well.

"I'd tell you to go back to the cafeteria, but we took a bit longer than expected. Your school day ended about 5 minutes ago, so you can just head straight home."

Matthew nodded and left the room, sparing one quick glance back at Liz who was still smiling and waving at him. He waved back and hurried to Alfred's locker, his mind running with thoughts of what he was going to do now.


"Matthew! There you are! What took you so long?" Alfred had taken the bus, which Matthew had missed by mere seconds, home figuring Matthew had left before him. When he got home and saw no on there, he had sat on the front step and waited for his brother to return.

Matthew smiled at him and shook his head, "Nothing really. I just missed the bus, so I had to walk." Alfred raised an eyebrow but didn't question further.

Once inside Alfred headed straight for the kitchen. It was his turn to make dinner. Their mother had made it the previous night, their father made breakfast and Matthew had packed their lunches. It was Abnegation routine to take turns cooking.

Regardless of the fact he didn't need to, Matthew followed Alfred and helped prepare the meal. They worked together in comfortable silence, Matthew tried to keep himself busy so he wouldn't think about what decisions had to be made, but like weeds to a garden the thoughts continued to pop into his mind, rooting deep and making him grimace frequently.

It didn't take long for their parents to get home, and Alfred finished setting the table just as they walked in.

Their mother came over and put her arms around both their shoulders, squeezing gently. "How'd the test go?"

"I think it went well," Alfred smiled at her, "I didn't know that's what it was gonna to be. I thought it was gonna be a written test."

She smiled at Alfred and then turned her head to Matthew, waiting for his answer. He just nodded and chirped a small, "Good." Then hurried to put the serving bowl of peas on the table.

Matthew pulled into his chair quickly and waited for everyone to sit. Once they were seated they passed the food around until everyone was served. They all grabbed hands afterwards and their father gave thanks to the Lord for their food, friends, family and work. Matthew and Alfred had learned in school that not every Abnegation family was religious, but their father was so Matthew assumed that meant he should be too.

After that everyone started to eat. Matthew picked at his food, taking a bite here and there, but mainly listened quietly to his parents conversation.

"I had to deal with some of the Dauntless leaders today," their father commented, shaking his head. "An impossible bunch those ones. They're conducting the ceremony this year and it's been nothing but a hassle."

"Isn't it always?" Their mother asked. "They always want to do something special on their years."

"What are they trying to do?" Alfred cut in, looking at their father. Matthew looked at him with his eyebrows raised and eyes slightly wide. They weren't supposed to talk at the table unless their parents asked them a question directly. Their listening ears were a gift to their parents, his mother always said. And after dinner, in the family room their parents gave them their listening ears.

Tonight, Matthew knew he and Alfred wouldn't get a chance to speak with their parents in the family room. Tonight they were supposed to go straight to their rooms and think about their results. Tomorrow was a big day.

Their father didn't seem perturbed by Alfred's question and just stated, "This and that. Small things really, but they add up."

Alfred just raised an eyebrow and went back to eating.

When they were finished, their parents cleaned up the dishes. Matthew and Alfred climbed the stairs in silence. At the top Alfred reached out and grabbed Matthew, he put his finger to his lips to silence his brother and Matthew obeyed. Allowing himself to be pulled into Alfred's room.

Alfred sat down at his desk and Matthew sat on his bed.

"I'm gonna ask you what your aptitude test results were," Alfred stated, "And I kinda really hope you tell me."

Matthew frowned and shook his head. They weren't supposed to discuss their results with their families. They were supposed to reflect upon the results and decide for themselves. And no matter how much Matthew thought talking with his family might help, he couldn't help but feel like a traitor for not having Abnegation as his result. "I can't, Alfred. It's against the rules."

Alfred groaned. "Fiiiiine." He flung himself back against his chair in mock exhaustion and didn't stop making overly exaggerated exasperated sighs until Matthew laughed.

"Are you nervous about tomorrow, Alfred?" Matthew asked when the laughter pittered out.

Alfred scrunched up his nose and shrugged. "Not really. I mean, you pick first so I'm just gonna pick whatever you do." Alfred grinned at him and laughed, "Just don't pick Amity. I don't think I could do the whole peaceful, singing, apple picking thing all the time."

Matthew felt his stomach drop but forced himself to nod and laugh. His brother didn't want him to pick the faction he got on the aptitude test.

The faction Matthew suited best and belonged in, Alfred didn't like.

As they laughed about how absolutely preposterous the idea of choosing Amity was, Matthew felt his heart twinge in pain. He had thought he decided he was picking Abnegation anyway, so why did it matter so much that Alfred didn't want to be Amity? He didn't want Erudite either, they discussed that before. But now, Matthew thought, things seemed different.

Everything was different.


AUTHOR'S NOTE:

(4/16/15) Chapter revised and edited. Minimal changes made, nothing that affects the storyline.

The story gets better. Trust me! (At least, I think it gets better but maybe I'm biased because I'm writing it? I don't know! *sweats nervously*)

I had to make up the last part of the simulation because Tris didn't do anything close for what they would have for Amity. It says somewhere in the book that the Candor don't get along with Amity because they're willing to lie to keep the peace. So I just tried to make up a scenario where Matt had to lie to keep everyone calm. It was rushed, my apologises.

Thanks for everyone who followed/faved/reviewed my story, it means a lot to me.