RFSP episode #103

Deep Secrets, Dark Secrets, And Plans

Chapter 2-The Plan


While Cartman was discussing the issue with Dylan up on the 2nd floor of the west wing of the Nex, Wendy, Red, and Heidi were sitting on rocking chairs out on the West Porch. The door behind them opened and Stan came out.

"What do you want?" Wendy asked Stan aggressively when she noticed him.

"To talk. Alone."

"Fine."

Red and Heidi got the message and went back inside.

"So…you got my message from Butters?" Stan asked.

"Yes, and you're not adhering to my response."

"Look Wendy, I think…I think I really do want to get back together."

"Is that how you really feel about me Stan?"

Stan and Wendy got out of the chairs and sat down on the porch steps.

"Wendy…I think…this is how I really feel about you. About us."

Wendy calmed down a little and devoted her attention to whatever he was about to say.

"OK, what?"

"Well…I was thinking back about our history and…."

"And what?"

"Remember when we first got together? All those years ago? I was mad for you but I literally never had the guts to talk to you. Then one day, you wanted to reciprocate my feelings for you and in the end, later that night, we stayed up looking at the contents of my puke after we saved Kyle's little brother from the visitors. That was our first night being together."

"Yeah."

"And then you left me for Token years later and I was so depressed, I turned Goth…but thanks to what Butters told me about being happy that you can feel so sad, I got over it. And then I quickly moved on."

"What about the egg project two years later? Did you want me back then?"

"You know…to this day I'm still debating that."

"And then…"

"We…got back together another two years later…and stopped Kyle from burning down the school."

"Not to mention it took me weeks to get the last of your puke stains out from that night."

Stan just sighed. "Yeah. And then we broke up…again"


One month earlier, Stan and Wendy had started what could've very well been the biggest argument anybody from South Park Elementary ever saw. Stan and Wendy were in the middle of the hallway, bickering loudly at each other, while everyone else just watched.

"Oh so this is my fault huh!?" Wendy yelled. "It seems that every time something like this happens, it's my God-damn fault!"

"It is!" Stan retorted.

"If you weren't so selfish all the time, you'd know when it was yours!"

"Oh so am I just not good enough for you!?"

"Am I not good enough for you!?"

"Well YOU were attracted to Cartman!"

"For the last fucking time, there was nothing between us!" Wendy angrily retorted.

"Uh, actually-." Cartman began to say before he got cut off.

"SHUT UP FAT ASS!" Stan and Wendy yelled at Cartman in unison.

"Oh really!? Just like there was nothing between you and Kyle, huh?"

"Dude!" replied an annoyed Kyle. "I told you-."

"Can it Kyle!" Stan demanded.

"Kyle's a better person then you ever could or will be!" Wendy retorted.

"Oh is that so? Then why don't you go kiss his ass!?"

"What!?" Kyle exclaimed

Wendy growled at Stan. "You're just a self-centered shit head with no respect for others!"

"Oh Yeah!? Well I wish we NEVER got back together. Hell, I wish I NEVER EVEN LIKED YOU!"

An immediate gasp was emitted from the mouths of everyone watching. They couldn't believe what Stan had just said.

"You know what, I don't need girls and I never have! Right Butters!?"

"Uh…sure?" Butters didn't exactly know how to answer him.

"Is that what you want!?" Wendy exclaimed.

"Yeah, it is!"

"Fine then! It's OVER!"

"I'm glad!"

Wendy stormed off and everyone quickly stepped aside to make room for her. Stan stormed off in the opposite direction.

"Out of my way!" Stan demanded as everyone stepped aside.

"Dude what-."

"Not now Kyle! Not…now."

Cartman began to laugh extra hard, which made Stan kick him extra hard in the balls. Cartman toppled over in excruciating pain and everyone else went over to him, minus Kyle who continued to follow Stan.

"Stan I-."

"I said not now Kyle!" Stan yelled as he walked away mumbling to himself.


Stan and Wendy thought about what happened after their nasty breakup.

"And then my best friend…."

"…Went out with me."

"And how did that happen?"

"I don't know…she just…I guess she became interested in me now that I was signal and she saw how I was taking it after that day too. Somehow she felt the need to comfort me, and I think I did need it…somehow. Through the process, we just kind of…you know…loved each other."

"Are you sure?"

Stan sighed. "No, I'm not Wendy. I don't know if I really liked her or if I was just trying to make you jealous."

"What about me then? How do you feel about me?"

Stan sighed deeper this time. "Wendy…I think maybe the part of me that caused our falling out…just wanted to stop anyway. We've been together for a long time and maybe…I think I might have just wanted to just be friends for a while, to prevent tensions between us. But my anger beat me to it."

"In a way…I had the same thought."

"You…did?"

"Yeah…."

"Yeah…. Look Wendy, if-."

Kyle suddenly burst through the door and cut Stan off.

"Dude, come on!"

"Really bad timing Kyle!"

Kyle turned around and noticed Wendy was there. "Oh hey Wendy. Stan, I'm really sorry, but Dylan wants us up in Cartman's hotel room right now!"

"What the hell for?"

"I don't know, but come on!"

"Um Wendy…do you mind if I-."

"No go ahead. We can finish the later. But what's the panic about Kyle?"

"Nothing! Come on Stan!"

Kyle and Stan ran back inside the hotel and Red and Heidi came back out.

"So…what happened?" Heidi asked.

"We're…starting to be friends…I think. Can you go get Bebe please? I think I should tell her some of this."

"I tried texting her but it seems like she's still with Stan and his friends." Red added.

"Still? Why?"


Stan and Kyle made their way to Cartman's hotel room and shut the door behind them once they got there. All the blinds were closed as well. Cartman, Kenny, Butters, Ike, Bebe, Dylan, Jessica, Terrance, and Phillip were all present in the room.

"OK dude what-Oh my God! It's Terrance and Phillip!"

"I know doesn't this kick ass you guys!?" Cartman asked.

"Long time no see boys!" Terrance greeted them.

"So is it true that Kyle's mom was only trying to kill imposters?"

"It sure is buddy!" Phillip answered. "Thank God Liane had connections to get us out!" Phillip farted and Terrance and the others started laughing.

"Hey can you guys fart on us for autographs!?" Kyle asked.

"Save it for later guys." Dylan asked.

"Aww."

Dylan introduced the kids to Jessica. "Kids, this is Jessica Alliot, one of my friends from The Agency."

"Hey what's up?" Jessica greeted the kids.

"So you all worked undercover for the government?"

"We sure did."

"Is it true that Terrance had to get his anus repaired!?" Stan asked.

"Damn right it is buddy!" Terrance answered.

"Oh God, do we have to bring up Iran AGAIN?" Dylan asked.

"That was all your fault!"

"What happened?" asked Kyle.

Terrance began to recall what happened, with Dylan deliberately and mockingly mouthing what Terrance says.

"Well it was aboot time for us to go. We had accomplished our task and were running back to the helicopter. Just then we became surrounded. That's when Dylan had this 'great' idea of having me shove a gas grenade up my ass to amplify its power once I farted! That bomb not only knocked out all the bad guys, but it tore my anus apart!"

"Sweet dude!"

"Trust me kid, it wasn't"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Dylan said, trying to change the subject.

"Wait so is that where the inspiration for that one episode of your show where one of you was a donor for an ass transplant for the other came from?"

"It sure did buddy!"

"Interviews later, focus now." Dylan reminded everyone. "My operation has come up with a plan that just might work. But it'll require us going back into the battlefield."

"The battlefield?"

"The tournament grounds."

"Oh."

"Kids, you need to understand this: It's become too dangerous for me. For all of Unit 14. The five of us CAN NOT go back onto that golf course right now. Davenport is more than likely to be there waiting for us."

"What about us?"

"You kids are vulnerable, but for now Davenport isn't planning on killing you."

("What about me?")

"You're safe. You need to be their protector."

("It's because I'm immortal isn't it?")

"Yep. But on the bright side we finally have that potion for you!"

("Finally!")

"Kenny, seriously, stop trying to claim you have super powers or some shit!" Cartman asked.

("It's not a power, IT'S A CURSE!")

"Dude really, lay off." Stan added.

"I also have a way to make sure they'll remember your next death."

Kenny's face lit up like a pinball machine when he heard that. It was the best news he had heard in a long time.

"Do you know who the extra hands Davenport hired are?" Butters asked Dylan

"Some of your old enemies."

"Who? Do you know who they are?"

("No.")

"I know who one of them is." Dylan added.

"Who!?"

Dylan sighed. "Trent Boyett."

Stan, Kyle, Cartman, Kenny, and Butters all immediately froze and their faces became semi-pale.

"T-T-Trent?"

"B-B-Boyett?"

"Oh no! He almost killed me last time!" Butters recalled.

"How is he out of juvie!?"

"The AGA busted him out and sent some other kid to take his place. The juvie hall has no idea that who they think is Trent is just an imposter." Phillip added.

"N-no…NO!"

"What's the big deal?" Bebe asked. "Sure, he was a bully in preschool but-."

"Bebe you don't understand!" Stan answered her. "Trent is going to KILL US!"

(*whew* "That's a load off my back!")

"Dude, not now!" Dylan added.

Stan decided to tell Bebe the truth. "Well Bebe…the five of us have a confession to make. I'm going to guess Dylan and his gang already knows the truth."

"Oh we do."

"Bebe, remember when Trent was arrested in preschool for setting Miss Claridge on fire?"

"Yeah."

"Well…that was actually…our fault."

"What!?"

"You know that fireman game we Kyle, Cartman, Kenny, and I always played?"

"Yeah."

Kyle continued. "We asked Trent to set a fire. We all tried peeing on it, but it didn't go out. And then…you know what happened next. Once Miss Claridge was taken to the hospital Trent told the police it was our fault. We told the cops that Trent was a liar and the cops believed us."

"And then Trent asked me to tell the police it was their fault, but I didn't want to get involved or I'd get grounded." Butters added.

"He swore he'd come back and get revenge." Stan continued. "Then in 2004, he was released on parole and came straight here. He almost…killed Butters. We even asked the 6th graders to protect us but they were no match for him."

"Didn't Miss Claridge catch on fire again?"

"Yeah…and the cops asked her if Trent did it. She beeped twice on her wheelchair-machine thing which meant 'no' but the cop thought that meant 'yes, yes'. Again, Trent told the cops it was us. And again we denied knowing anything and told them that Trent was a liar. And again they believed us."

"But now…he's back."

"Oh Jesus!" Butters panicked. "Now he won't rest until we're all dead!"

"I can't believe you guys wouldn't come clean!" Bebe added. "That's awful!"

"What were we supposed to do!?"

("If we have to, I'll fight him.")

"Kenny this is no time for jokes!" Stan said, causing Kenny to face palm.

"If they go out to the tournament grounds, wouldn't Trent be there waiting for them?" Jessica asked Dylan.

"There's a good chance of that. But do you think the enemy would make that noticeable of a ruckus out in public?"

"True."

"Change of plans!" Stan announced. "I'm not leaving this building!"

"Me neither!"

"Sorry, but if you want to save everybody, you're going to have to." Terrance replied.

"This isn't happening…." Cartman panicked.

("It is")


Meanwhile in Davenport's secret lair, Trent had just arrived and was meeting with Davenport.

"Glad to have you on the team George!" Davenport greeted him.

"My name's Trent."

"Whatever. Now the other people I hired should be-."

"I didn't do this for you, not for anyone. The main and really only reason I'm doing this is for revenge."

"I'm well aware kid. But you're going to have to stick to MY plan in order to get revenge."

"Tell me what to do then." Trent replied as he narrowed his eyebrows and opened his switchblade.


Just mere minutes later, the kids, the EOH 11th graders, and Unit 14 were discussing a game plan down in the underground base.

"OK everyone!" Dylan began. "Tomorrow is the 2nd practice day of the Woman's Finals. We're thinking Davenport makes his next big move on Friday, which means we have three days to get this right! We have one shot and one shot only!"

Stan gulped anxiously. "How reassuring."

"As far as Unit 14 goes, we're the most vulnerable out in the public eye. So I made these!" Dylan held out five wristbands of some sort. "These will allow us to appear as we really are to our allies, so basically everyone in this room, but we'll look like somebody completely different through the eyes of our enemies." All five members of Unit 14 took a wristband and put them on.

("What about me?")

"If you were that vulnerable, I'd have given you one. But the five of us are at the top of his kill list. Hopefully you kids can stay out of Davenport's sight."

Sara pulled out a map of the tournament grounds with markings written on the labeled entrances. "Even with that being said, we all need to enter from different directions and at different times. Stan, is your family going to the grounds tomorrow?" she asked.

"Yeah."

"Great! You and Butters go through the entrance by the member's club and do whatever you can to make sure the two of you are over at the 2nd hole by 10 A.M. OK?"

"OK."

"Roger!"

"Cartman!" Dylan continued. "You and your mom go with Bebe to one of the shuttle areas and ride over to the main gate! The main gate itself is kind out of the way, so you'll need to find a shuttle that goes there. The three of you need to be at the 11th hole by 10 A.M. alright?"

"Gotcha!"

"Ah dude, do I have to work with my 'mom'!?"

("There are more important things to worry about right now fat ass!")

"Kyle, you need to let your parents know that you and Ike are going to be with me tomorrow."

"OK, I'll tell them."

"The three of us will need to enter through Gate 2 as well, but then we'll need to be by the 1st Aid Tent that's right behind the gate."

"So what do we do when we get to our places?" Stan asked.

"Right. Anna and Carmen! When you show up to your shifts tomorrow morning, you need to take the three receivers with you." Dylan pulled out three small square shaped devices. "The two of you need to arrive early tomorrow so you have time to place these things at the three areas I just described."

"Then at 10:00 you kids activate the synchronizers!" Chris said as he pulled out three triangular shaped devices and gave them to Kyle, Stan, and Cartman. "Stan and Butters, you two need to be at this grove of trees right around here at 10:00." Chris told them as he pointed to a spot on the map by the areas the three groups needed to go to. "Cartman, Bebe, and Liane you three need to be at this grove of trees between Hole 11 and 12 at 10:00. When you get close to it, the synchronizer will begin to vibrate. When you see a button on the screen that says 'Confirm Sync?' then you're in the right spot and will be close enough to the receivers. Once all three groups are there, you'll all need to call each other and press that button all at the same time."

"How are we supposed to do that if we can't bring cell phones onto the golf course?"

"That's exactly why the synchronizers have a GPS on them. So you can know when the others get to their areas." Edith answered.

"Once all the synchronizers are activated, the receivers will activate. They'll triangulate an electronic signal range across the three points." Bailey said as he drew a triangle between the three marked areas on the maps. "Once we have the range set up, we can move on to the next step."

"We'll need to stand in our respective areas for a couple of minutes. The synchronizers will let us know when they're done. Once they're done just DROP them where you are and leave the area immediately."

"So what exactly does this electronic field do?" Stan asked.

"It allows us to hack into Davenport's database without him knowing. We believe his base is right below the middle of the triangulated area. There, we can find out the parts of his plan we don't know, be one step ahead of him, and ultimately stop him. As of now, we have 84 hours before Friday comes along. Only 84 hours to stop him."

"So…by Friday night?" Kyle asked.

("Exactly.")

"What do we do after the electronic field is set up tomorrow?"

"We go about our lives normally until we know what the enemy does next. The AGA has heightened security and surveillance…they know we're onto them. The rest of my operation is safe to go out there more, but you kids and Unit 14, myself including, aren't. We should only go out onto those grounds when we need to. Can I count on you to do that?"

"Yes."

"And when the 12 of us are out there, we'll need a way to communicate."

"So I made these!" Jessica held out 12 earpieces as the kids and Unit 14 each took one. "When we put these in our ears, nobody else will be able to see them. We'll be able to easily sneak this past security and be able to talk to each other while we're out there. But be careful who's with you when you're talking into it. People won't be able to hear the voice coming out of it, but they can still hear you talk into it."

"It's getting late now. We should all go." Dylan noted. Before he left however, he pulled his unit aside.

"Should we tell him?"

"What good would that do? Diane's dead remember? She died right before her son was born!"

"Well…she didn't die. Not then anyway." Liane added

"Huh?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well…um…I just found this out as a matter of fact…."

A minute later, the other four were informed of the information Liane had recently learned.

"Oh my God!" Jessica exclaimed. "Liane is this true!?"

"Yes…it is. I'm afraid Eric's never going to see his real mother anyway."

"Um, hello?" Kyle asked Dylan as he walked up to him.

"What?"

"Can we go now?"

"Oh right, sorry. You weren't eavesdropping or anything were you?"

"No."

"OK then. Good night everybody!"

The group made their way back up to the surface and on the way out, Dylan gave Kenny a bottle with some kind of multi-colored liquid inside.

("What's this?")

"It's the potion."

Kenny's face lit up like a Christmas tree on steroids. ("REALLY!?")

"Yep. You're welcome!"

Kenny immediately unscrewed the cap and chugged the potion. Afterwards he started dancing around overly happy.

("So now when I die, I can revive myself anywhere I want, right?")

"Yep! And we might need you to die a few times depending on how we stop the AGA."

("But my mom won't have to go through labor anymore, right?")

"Nope!"

Kenny continued his happy dance until Dylan told him there were a few side effects.

("Oh you have got to be fucking kidding me!")

"But they're not bad."

("What are they?")

"The next couple of times you die, it'll take a little longer than normal to come back since your body will need to adjust to the effects of the potion. And if somebody's holding onto you when you die, they'll die too."

("But will they get revived too?")

"Oh yeah, they'll re-spawn near you. And they'll remember dying too. You can also die with something attached to you, say some loose change in your pocket, and it'll be in your pocket again as soon as you come back."

Kenny breathed a sigh of relief, knowing the side effects were good.

("Hey wait…does this mean I can finally get my friends to believe that I'm immortal?")

"Well, yes but-."

("Then I'm going to die right now!")

Kenny tried to run off, but Dylan grabbed him.

"Dude, not right now!"

("Why the hell not!?")

"Don't force them into it right this instant! Wait until…I don't know…until there's a needed opportunity to do it!"

("Fine. Can I at least do a test run?")

"Whatever."

("Wait, how do I choose where to re-spawn at?")

"Once you know that your spirit is returning to Earth, think of a place and you'll be there. Where are you going now?"

("Where else? My hotel room.")

Kenny pulled a gun out of his pocket and shot himself. After bleeding for a few seconds, he died.

"Uh…good night?"

A little ways ahead, and completely oblivious to the recent gunshot, Kyle, Stan, Butters, and Cartman were becoming increasingly anxious about Trent.

"We're not safe here!"

"Oh man how are we supposed to stay away from Trent!?" Stan asked aloud. "He could be anywhere and I'm sure he's looking for us now!"

"What can we do!?" Butters answered. "It's not like we can ask anybody for protection! Anybody we do ask, we'd have to explain everything. We can't expose these fellas if Trent's working for the bad guy!"

"Oh man we're screwed!"

"Maybe we can call the juvie and tell them that Trent escaped?" Cartman suggested.

"There's some other kid taking his place. I doubt they'd believe us."

"We're just going to have face the facts guys." Stan pointed out. "Either we hide from Trent and let Davenport win or we just be brave."

Cartman sighed. "As if things didn't suck ass already for me."

"What do you mean Eric?" Butters asked.

"I don't have a dad and I just find out I don't have a mom. The whore I thought was my mom has just been lying about it my whole life."

"Dude, you can't hold this against her." Kyle told him.

"Why the hell not you asshole Jew!? My whole life I've been deceived lie after lie by some bitch claiming to be my mom!"

"Cartman it doesn't matter! Just be happy that she took the time to care for and raise you. In that sense, she IS your mom!"

"Don't give me one of your gay little speeches Kyle! How would you feel if the same thing happened with your mom, huh!? How do you think Stan would feel if he found out Bebe and Wendy were both lesbian!?"

"DUDE!" Stan retorted.

"Secrets aren't good for anyone Kyle, they just make shit worse! Do you remember what happened when Butters' mom found out that his dad went to a gay bathhouse!?"

"My mom freaked out so much she tried to kill me!" Butters answered for him.

"Exactly! Or like the time Stan sent us on that damn zip lining tour because he wanted a fucking iPod Nano!"

"We get your point Cartman." Stan replied as Cartman calmed down a little.

"Just watch and see how we all turn out now Kyle! When I found out who my father was, he had all been taken hostage by my half-brother and his gang of gingers!"

"OK, so ONE time something as drastic as that happened."

"And this is clearly a direct continuation of that time Kyle!"

"Guys! Ssshhh!" Stan tried to quiet the others.

"What dude?"

"Do you guys…feel like you're being watched right now?"

The boys immediately stopped talking and nervously looked around themselves. They weren't being watched, but they sure felt like they were.

"Gosh fellas…if only Chef were here."

Butters' sudden comment, though somewhat surprising since Chef had been gone for so long, was agreed upon by the others.

"Chef did always know what to say."


A/N: Alright! Chapter 2 is done! Be on the lookout for Chapter 3!

All feedback is appreciated :)