There was a voice in Todd's head that was telling him what he was seeing wasn't real and that it was some cruel development in his disease that had him seeing things that caused more than just physical pain, but emotional pain as well. After standing with his mouth agape for longer than was proper he slowly extended a trembling hand toward the phantom, because phantom was accurate. The Dirk before him was as pale as a ghost, only his skin also looked waxy at the same time, his eyes were red rimmed with large bags underneath and looked glazed over with a fever, and his posture was slumped like someone had deflated him half way. When Todd's hand successfully grabbed hold of Dirk's wrist he didn't know if he was more startled by the fact there was actually something solid to grab hold of or by the chill of the skin he did. For a moment his brain said it could still be the disease, after all it made him feel things that weren't real all the time, but when he heard the sound of Dirk's breath hitching it was like someone threw all the lights on in his mind at once.
He wasn't sure who made the sound, but a chocked gasp filled his ears as he used the wrist in his hands to slowly pull Dirk forward into a gentle but fierce hug. Todd was far too aware of how weak the tall man looked but when Dirk wrapped his arms tighter around him he tightened his hug as well.
At some point, after a few long moments of holding on to each other for dear life, Todd became aware of the fact that Dirk was crying. It was silent but he could feel the tremors coursing through the others body. When he heard a small sniffle he decided the open doorway was probably not the best place for this, so pulling back to close the door and returning his hand to Dirk's wrist, he started to lead him toward the couch. He quickly regretted it though when he heard a quiet hiss of pain behind him. Turning around, a concerned look over taking his face, he looked down at the wrist in his hand. He felt his breath catch in his lungs as he took in the state of it, grabbing the other gently as well. They both had nasty looking bruising, layered from old ones healing beside the newer ones, as well as scabbed over wounds. It was obvious that wherever Dirk had been he had been kept against his will, and had fought like hell to try and escape.
Todd felt his own eyes brimming with tears as he slipped his hands down a little further and instead grabbed Dirk's hands in his. Trying to stop his tears from spilling over he finally looked up into the other man's face, really letting himself take it in, before locking eyes. What he saw there, it had a cold chill running up his spine. There was none of the usual curiosity or playfulness that seemed ever present there, or much of anything really. Dirk looked almost completely blank except for the pain and sadness that could just be made out through the silent tears. With his brows furrowed his tears finally won out and Todd used their clasped hands to pull Dirk after him as he walked backward toward the couch, slipping slightly on some of the water that had dripped from him. When he felt his legs hit the side table and then the arm of the couch he pulled the broken man down beside him.
For a few minutes they just sat there beside each other in near silence, the only sound an occasional sniffle. Todd had his worried eyes trained on Dirk's face but the other man had his blank stare focused on the blank television screen before them. The silence was finally broken by Dirk as he rasped out, "Stop frowning at me Todd, it's rather rude to stare."
He wanted to laugh that Dirk could still be Dirk, even now, but the thought died as Dirk suddenly turned bodily toward him and practically tackled him into a tight hug. The second Todd had his arms wrapped tightly in return around the skinnier man he felt the full body tremor go through him again. Holding him even closer he started rubbing small circles on his back. That was when a small sob finally escaped, quickly followed by others, until finally Dirk was sobbing violently into Todd's neck and shoulder, curling into his side. Not even aware of what words were leaving his mouth, Todd started whispering comforting nothings as he moved his other hand to card through Dirk's hair in an attempt to sooth.
When the crying finally stopped, on both their parts, they still didn't move. Slowly Todd started leaning back more and more, trying to make them both more comfortable, until he had Dirk half lying against him, head on his robe clad chest, and that was how they both fell asleep, arms still wrapped tightly around each other.
After only a couple hours Todd was woken by the sound of a whimper.
The next thing he became aware of was the feel of Dirk squirming in his arms. Tightening them around him he started trying to sooth Dirk back into a peaceful sleep but when his attempts only proved to heighten Dirk's distress he panicked. Even though he wanted him to sleep, he didn't want him to suffer doing it, so he woke him up with a firm shake of his hand on his back.
He wasn't prepared for Dirk to wake with a sudden and violent jolt so they both found themselves on the floor between the couch and coffee table a second later, Todd on top of Dirk, both with the breath knocked out of them.
Gasping, Todd tried to ask, "Dirk, are you okay?"
When all Dirk could do in response was wheeze out a shallow breath Todd took the answer as no. Quickly clambering back to his feet he tried to help the taller man up as well. Finally, after they were both sitting on the couch again, Dirk managed a faint, "I'm fine, Todd. Thank you."
Studying Dirk's face in the little light that the room provided at one in the morning, Todd could see that was far from the truth. He had seen it within the first minute Dirk had shown up at his door but it was far to obvious to ignore now; Dirk was off, something was really, truly wrong, and Todd had no idea what to do about it. He was in a horrible place as well and he had no idea how he could help someone else if he couldn't even help himself.
However, before he could be dragged down too far by his own dark thoughts Dirk was speaking, again in that far too soft and broken voice. "I'm so tired, Todd. I know you want to ask me questions but please, can we just talk in the morning and sleep first?" He was finally looking at Todd again, this time his distress written clearly across his face with no attempt to hide it, as he added in a hoarse whisper, "Please, Todd, I'm so exhausted."
Todd forced a tight smile on his face before gently responding, "Of course, Dirk, whatever you need." Without another word spoken he took hold of Dirk's hand before leading him over to the bed in the corner and gently pushing Dirk down onto it by his shoulders. When the British man was lying down Todd turned to go back to the couch but Dirk grabbed hold of his hand again before he could leave. Without having to say anything he tugged on Todd's hand gently once and that was all Todd needed before he was lying down next to Dirk. If neither of them even thought to attempt to separate their joined hands the other said nothing, so that was how they fell asleep again, this time peacefully.
