Surrounded by a sea of black. Drowning in warm, salty tears streaming down the cheeks of everyone present. Listening to choked up voices sob out words of care, flowered beyond belief to try and perfect the person laying silent in their bed of polished wood, dressed up nice with flowers in his hand.
It isn't an ideal way to spend a Saturday. But despite the albino boy's not so sweet reputation all around town, more people than she thought possible were now sitting in church pews.
Beside her is her older brother, squeezing her hand once in a while to try and send some comfort through the simple gesture. His entire body shakes with withheld tears as the priest spews some words about his soul lifting up into the sky and finding eternal peace.
Her own hair, usually tied up in two messy pigtails, is now braided neatly across the back of her head, the tail hanging over her shoulder limply. The tightness against her skin was something to focus on while she tries to tune out the sobs and sniffles echoing in the hall.
By now, the priest had finished with his opening speech, and from behind her stands a young man with an all black suit and a single red rose resting on his chest. She can hear him take a deep breath, swallow hard, and he starts up the isle.
Once he stands in front of the entire congregation, he straightens his back, lifts his chin, and fixes his eyes on a point in the back, possibly at the stained glass window currently casting beams of light over the crowd. Colors brightening the sad mood, and for a moment, she forgets why she's there.
"My friend Gilbert… no, friend is too weak of a word. Gil was a person in my life that I couldn't possibly live without. Our lives were intertwined, him, Antonio and I. They even have a nickname for us at school, the 'Bad Friends Trio.'"
"To be honest, I'm not sure where it came from. Perhaps it's just because we didn't exactly get along with most other people in our grade. And if we did, we got along a little… too well if you understand." A few stray giggles from two or three girls from the back. The corner of Francis's mouth twitches.
"Our antics were incredible. There was, of course, the Great Pig Race that we held in the school." More snickers from some other students who remember it. Madeline thinks back to the day with slight amusement. The trio had brought in three of Antonio's pigs from his farm, and posted a number on each other them. 1, 2, and 4.
The teachers searched all day for the third pig.
"Then there were those several times when we managed to make a mess of the entire kitchen, and we had to stay for almost an hour to clean it up. But… all of that… is just the final touches, the icing on the cake. My real story… is something I can't exactly tell alone."
A pause. Then, from the pew next to Madeline's stands a brunette boy, tear streaks staining his face and his eyes bloodshot and tired. It's clear that he hasn't had any sleep in days.
Francis gives the boy a caring hug, and they hold hands after they draw away. A few more giggles echo from the back, but the somber mood crushes them all. Now isn't really the time to laugh at something as simple as that kind of gesture.
"Gil transferred into our district in middle school - Francis and I have known each other since grade school - and at first, we didn't exactly get along."
Francis jumps in. "That's an understatement. We actually hated each other. His claims of awesomeness don't tend to make a good impression, after all."
"But then… something happened to show us how similar we really were."
"One day, we got in trouble, and all three of us were in detention together. Gil sat on one side of the room in the back, and we sat on the other."
"Our teacher fell asleep about an hour in, so we kept our voices down and started talking."
"Gossiping, really. There was a point in time, where I had just the slightest bit of a crush on one of my classmates, so we were talking about her."
"Gil jumps in, and tells us how close he's gotten to her, and about how he could 'totally hook us up if we wanted!'" Antonio's voice cracks when he repeats Gil's words, and he swallows hard to recover. Madeline turns her eyes to their hands, where Antonio was gripping Francis's tightly enough to cut off circulation, and in return Francis was rubbing small circles on the back of his friend's with his thumb to calm him down. After a minute of Antonio still not being able to talk, Francis takes the rest of the story.
"It was a really surprising thing, since we didn't really understand why he would do that for me. After all, me and Toni had been pretty mean to him, but he still volunteered to get this girl's number for me. And for all you who are wondering… yes, she did, rather reluctantly, agree to go on a date with me. One thing led to another, and… well…" He cuts off, not really knowing how to end off the story. Antonio reaches up to move the microphone to his mouth, whispering to keep his voice steady.
"We became inseparable. And it's all because he was too stubborn to give up on us."
They both take a deep shuddering breath together, and leave the podium, hands still intertwined. A short, choked off cry sounds from Alfred, and he squeezes her own hand tighter.
She on the other hand, sits there expressionless. In the back of her mind, she knows she should be crying, bawling in fact. At least showing some sign that she cares about the boy now laying silent in the coffin at the front.
But the tears won't come. She hadn't cried since she heard that Gilbert had passed away from a somber voice over the phone. The girl had watched as her brother burst out in sobs and shut himself away in his room for days after. He and Gil had been friends as well. Maybe not as close as the trio, but enough that the death affected him.
She had been bombarded with tear filled cries of sympathy for her at school, sometimes from people she had never met before. It made her uncomfortable, sure, but not any sadder or more comforted than before.
Perhaps… in her heart, she still doesn't believe he's gone. That any moment, the albino would jump up from his coffin, revealing his blood red eyes to be as vibrant as ever, and shout "Just kidding! I'm too awesome to die!"
Maybe that's what she's waiting for as more people go up. His brother takes the stand and simply says, "Mein bruder was a brash but caring person who would do anything to keep his friends from being sad. Now, his mouth can no longer speak the words he would say, so I will say them for him. 'Don't cry for me. You all look so stupid from up here when you cry. So smile!'"
Strange sounds rise up from the entire congregation, especially from the students. Madeline quickly realizes that they're attempts at laughter, trying to hold back the tears that would most definitely make the boy's heart ache had he seen them.
Gilbert's parents are next, and they go into a long detailed story about their son. A few more friends, a relative, and then Madeline stands. She lifts her head, not trying to seem snobby but rather just sure of herself. Gil had been trying to get her to open up more and carry herself better for years, and finally she has it right.
Everything goes into a daze for her once she reaches the podium. Her words spill out, and she pushes away the paper with her speech written on it, for her own words suddenly seem foreign.
"I was going to tell all of you everything I love about Gil. I had this whole speech written out." She picks up the paper, and with a final glance she takes it in both hands and rips it into pieces. "But right now, I just want to tell you about my last conversation with him. Where we planned our future together." Whispered murmurs abound, but she ignores them.
"We planned to go on a date once he got better. To a restaurant, then a walk around the park. Then we continued planning. More dates, to the movies, restaurants that he wouldn't be able to afford, anywhere you could think of. Until, he said, he could convince my parents he loved me."
"We would get married, move into a house together with three dogs and two beautiful children who we hoped would adopt our personalities."
Madeline swallows, her mouth dry. "I guess the point of this story is the ending. After I was called to leave, I told him 'goodbye.' And he yelled at me, because… he told me we would see each other again." Now she turns, gazing down at Gilbert's still body. Spurred on by a sudden impulse, she leaves her place at the podium and goes up to the coffin. She feels a slight pain in her chest at seeing her sweetheart - no, that's too small of a word for what they had had. Her soul mate, her other half. A person that couldn't live without.
And now, she's forced to.
She turns to the rest of the people watching her with tear filled eyes and held breath. Her mouth turns up into a small smile and she leans over Gil's body, kissing his cold lips. "See you later, my love. We'll meet again soon."
A loud sob rings from the back, and she sees someone being lead out, bawling their eyes out but trying so very hard to be silent.
Madeline, still dry-eyed, slowly walks back down the church aisle and sits next to her brother, who immediately wraps his arms around her and buries his head in her shoulder. Warm salty tears drip down her skin, and she grabs his hand to try and offer a little piece of comfort.
There is only one speech after hers, from a representative of the school who just listed a few exploits that had happened over the years. Then the priest took the stand once again, and finishes off the mass with words that should be uplifting, and then they take the coffin and close the top. Sealing away the boy's body in a box and covering it with a blanket made by his grandmother. A blanket sewn from scraps of fabric in the patterns of world flags. It had been Gil's favorite, he had had it in his room.
That had been their go to when Madeline came over and they snuggled together underneath to watch movies. Mostly Disney, as those were her favorites and Ludwig was a closet fanboy who had every movie under the sun.
"M-Maddie?" Alfred sniffed, tears running heavily down his face. "Are… you ok?"
The question was loaded, as she knew her brother, at her first sign of sadness or weakness, would suddenly toughen up, smile, and say it would be alright. Instead, she stood, with him letting her go without much of a fight. Almost immediately Alice and Francis took her place at his side and hugged him tightly. Their tears fell into the cloth of the wooden pew and with them their memories of the loud albino. Forever to be saved and remembered and cherished.
The quiet teen dodged through the crowd to try and get to the door. A few people tried to pull her in for a hug, but she made the excuse of the bathroom and got away to the outdoors.
Outside of the church there was a cemetery. Gil wouldn't be buried here, but she suddenly felt the need to go for a walk through it. To connect herself to the other side, to maybe say a true goodbye.
Her steps were slow and deliberate. Once or twice she would stop completely and kneel down beside the gravestone. Maddie ran her fingers over the engraved numbers in the rock. Born 1941. Born 1956. Born 1978. Died 2006. Died 1993. Died 2012.
She sometimes saw names she recognized from her classmates at school. Her friend Sakura had her grandmother and grandfather buried here, under the same stone. Cute little Lili and her brother Vasch had their parents under the ground. Vladimir, a kid she knew was friends with Alice, had lost his baby brother a year ago.
Madeline felt free, freer than ever. She stopped by a gravestone she knew well and sat next to it, curving her spine to be as close as possible.
"Mama, I don't know what to do now. Is this fate? Am I being punished?" Maddie spoke out loud to nobody except a warm breeze that hit her face. "I've lost you, and now Gil. Are you two having fun up there? Is he laughing at how everyone is crying over his awesome self?"
A flit of movement caught her eye and she looked over to see a small little bird perched on the grave across from her. It cocked its head and gazed at her. For some reason, she lifted her hand and rested it on the cold stone. With only a moment of hesitation, the small fluffy creature hopped onto the back of her hand and sat itself down, content. It let out a small peep and if it could have smiled, Madeline would have sworn it did.
"Not cool, Gil. You're just going to fly away as soon as I move my hand. I can't deal with this. I can't…" Her voice shook but no tears came. "You… you left. You're gone. You told me not to say goodbye. So I didn't. And now…" She choked on her words and her voice died. The bird tilted its head again, gave another peep, and stood up. Her eyes widened and her body stiffened.
"No… don't leave… Gil, please, I can't be alone… not again…" The bird looked her up and down, then with a little hop, turned and jumped back onto the headstone.
"Gil, please! I… I love you… don't go…" The bird looked back and let out two little chirps, somehow sounding like "Good-bye." Then it spread its small wings and flew off.
"Gil!" Her voice cracked and she curled up against her mother's gravestone, put her head to her knees and finally let out all the emotion she had bottled up. Every tear that struck the ground soaked into the dry earth and disappeared as she let out a stifled cry.
Whether it was just a few minutes later or an hour Maddie didn't know, but she heard footsteps approaching her and quickly looked up, not bothering to wipe her face. The person in front of her took her breath away.
The girl was probably about her age, or a little older. Her eyes were a deep purple and her long silver hair was neatly draped across her back in a thick braid.
"Hey, are you alright?" Madeline numbly nodded, not even trying to formulate an excuse for crying. She was in a cemetery after all, it was to be expected. The stranger offered a hand to Maddie and she took it, noticing a swirl of black and white on the inside of her forearm. She seemed to notice, and held her arm out for Madeline to inspect.
The sight of her tattoo sent a pang through her heart and tears starting falling from her eyes again. The eagle of the Prussian flag was drawn in such detail, she swore she saw its wings move.
"Hey, hey, don't cry! It's gonna be ok! I promise! I… don't really know what you're going through, but, can I maybe walk you home?"
Maddie opened her mouth to object, to tell the stranger she didn't know her, and that her family was just on the other side of the building. But she stopped when she saw a little yellow creature land on the ground behind her. It cocked its head, then put its head up, down, and then up again.
Almost like it approved.
"S-Sure…" Maddie paused, not knowing the girl's name. Her purple eyes looked at her happily.
"I'm Julia, but you can call me Jul, alright?"
"I'm… Madeline." The quiet girl said.
"Huh… is it alright if I call you Maddie instead?" Madeline sucked in a breath, then, as the yellow bird flew away, she nodded.
"Sure."
