Author's Note: I decided to release two at the same time, so you could have more to read.
This time our idea comes from my good friend OGAFazer89AC. I hope you like it!
You Know That Feeling You Get In The Pit Of Your Stomach?
Her fork clattered to the table, piercing the stifling afternoon silence.
A young woman's hand trembled, her fingers scratching at an itch that eluded her soothing touch. Her lips quivered, and her eyes bulged in their sockets.
A terrible sound spewed forth from the put of Hinata Hyūga's stomach.
Something between a gurgle and roar, it spoke volumes of the foulness that was to come, and the hand that did not hover in front of her dove to her belly, as if she could calm the rage within.
"O-oh dear…" she murmured quietly, as a very unwomanly burp slipped between her lips. Outside, a raven cawed it's lungs out perched on a telephone pole, before flapping away into the heat.
It wouldn't be entirely unfair to say that this situation was Naruto's fault. The unseasonably warm weather had left him in a constant state of discomfort, until the beading sweat and damp clothes outweighed what remained of his better judgment. Naruto had cranked the air conditioning past the point of no return, forcing the poor machine into attempting to churn out a veritable blizzard of refrigerated air. All good things must come to an end, of course, and in the case of keeping the temperature tolerable, that end came far too soon. Sometime in the night, their unit had given out, sputtering and creaking out some horrific noises before finally falling silent.
In any other circumstances, this would have had no effect on Hinata's 'internal affairs', but because their air conditioning unit had died, a fuse had been blown. Because a fuse had been blown, the rest of Naruto's utilities had failed. And because the rest of Naruto's utilities had failed (including his fridge), Hinata had been coerced into eating leftover breakfast ramen, while Naruto was out looking for a replacement fuse.
It would be fine, he had reassured her. The fridge had only been out for a few hours, he had said. Hinata had been anxious, but if there was anyone who could claim an encyclopedic knowledge on the topic of ramen, Naruto Uzumaki was your man. And so she had eaten it. It had been tasty enough. Besides, Naruto had promised to bring home some freshly cooked takeout after he had found the replacement fuse.
But now, Hinata Hyūga felt a rumbling in her tummy, and there could only be one explanation.
What goes in…
Must come out.
And it was coming. Violently.
"O-oh dear…" she repeated, jumping to her feet with such vigor that her chair clattered to the floor behind her. She cursed herself for wearing such slippery socks as she raced towards the bathroom, clutching at her stomach with the hopes that she might prevent whatever was in there from bursting out for a few more precious seconds.
She slid down the hallway past the right door, and latched onto the wall before she slipped into Naruto's bedroom. With a mighty heave, she flung herself into the bathroom, and slammed the door shut with her toes.
Were anyone standing outside that door, they would have sworn to see paint peeling off the walls, birds dropping like flies outside the window, and heard monstrous sounds from underneath the door. Then came a sigh of relief. Then the sound of flushing. More flushing. A third round of flushing, and then silence.
At least the plumbing still worked.
'I will never listen to Naruto-kun about food ever again,' she told herself as she crawled into his bedroom, and up onto the bed. Her hair clung to her forehead and back in damp clumps, and her breathing was labored. With great difficulty, she threw off her shirt and pants in an attempt to cool down, and found herself cursing her boyfriend for blowing out his utilities, as that left her without an opportunity to cool herself off.
'When he gets home, I'm going to kill him.'
She heard him fumbling with the lock, and changed her mind almost instantaneously. The smell still hung heavy in the air, and Hinata was not in the mood to die from embarrassment.
Hinata barely made it to the front door just before Naruto stepped inside, shoving her entire body weight against the wood and slamming the door shut. She could hear Naruto swear, and something fell to the ground outside.
"Who is it?" Hinata called in a sing-song voice. She would have to stall for time, until the noxious fumes that saturated his apartment had dissipated to an appropriate level.
"Hinata? It's me!" Naruto shot back, trying to push open the door. "Who else would it be? What the heck are you doing?"
"I-I'm in my underwear," Hinata thought quickly, bearing more of her weight against the door. "I was afraid that it might have been someone else out there. You p-promise that there's no one out there with you?"
"Yeah, I'm alone, alright? Now can you open the door? I really need to use the bathroom!"
Hinata bit her lip. 'Shit.'
And that was precisely the problem.
Naruto managed to stick his foot in the door, and force it open. He gave Hinata an odd look, but planted a quick kiss on her cheek nonetheless, before setting the bag he had been holding down on his kitchen table.
"You wouldn't believe how long it took me to find the right one," said Naruto, as he was on his way to the bathroom. "The guy at the checkout was no help, and I passed the right aisle like 5 times. It didn't help that I had to use the bathroom before I was even finished, and theirs was broken! It's a good thing that the store was pretty close by, or I may not have made it home!"
"W-wait!" Hinata cried, as loudly as she could. Naruto hopped back into the kitchen, clearly distressed that he was being kept from sweet, sweet release.
"What is it now?" he asked. "What's up with you today?"
Hinata pointed to the bag and its contents. "I think you got the wrong part. That doesn't look like the right one to me."
"And since when did you become an electrical engineer?"
"I'm just worried you might have grabbed the wrong one by mistake! Are you sure you shouldn't go back and make sure that it's the right replacement part?"
Naruto groaned, turning on his heels. "Okay fine! I'll go back and check, but let me use the bathroom first, you know? I feel like the back of my pants are about to explode!"
He started wobbling towards his bathroom, and once again, Hinata was forced to think on her feet. Spying several bananas on the kitchen counter (which Sakura had purchased in an attempt to break Naruto's dependency on noodles), she grabbed one and started wolfing it down, flinging the peel past Naruto's head and onto the floor.
Her aim rang true. Just as Naruto was about to turn in the hallway towards his bathroom, his foot landed on the banana peel, and like something out of a bad comedy, he went sliding into his bedroom, flailing his arms and screaming like a little girl. Hinata sighed with relief.
She found him up against the wall, tangled up in a pile of dirty clothes. "Naruto-kun, are you alright?" she asked.
"I really need to clean up…" he whimpered, attempting to get back to his feet. He grunted in pain, and fell back on his rear. "Ow. It feels like I sprained my ankle. Can you take a look at it?"
"Wouldn't it be better to take you to the hospital, and have Sakura look at it?"
Naruto shook his head. "She's not working today. Besides, it's not even that serious. You learned the basics, didn't you? Just take a quick look."
Hinata nodded nervously, and glanced over his ankle. He was right in that there wasn't anything wrong with it, but Hinata was tempted to tell him a fib to keep him off his feet.
"It l-looks pretty bad," Hinata lied, standing back up. "It might be best for you to sit down on the bed for a while. I can go find Sakura and she can—"
"Don't be ridiculous!" Naruto grunted, pushing his back against the wall to hoist himself up onto one foot. "It can't be that bad, and I really need to use the bathroom. If you'll excuse me…"
Hinata was running out of ideas. "You can't go in there!" she said, throwing herself in between him and his desire.
"Why not?"
"The plumbing's broken," she said, fiddling with her fingers. "Maybe it happened when the power went off."
"Well now that doesn't make any sense." Naruto scratched at his forehead, pursing his lips in thought. "I'm no expert, but I don't think the plumbing and electrical stuff is connected in any way. How could the plumbing shut down too?"
Hinata shrugged.
"I'm gonna go check it out. I bet it's just something clogging the drain."
Hinata panicked.
"Just let a professional handle it!" she cried, latching onto his arm. "I d-don't want you getting hurt!"
Naruto was starting to worry. He shook Hinata off of his arm, and took a few steps back. "What the hell has gotten into you? Are you sure you're feeling alright? It's a toilet, Hinata. It's not going to kill me."
'I wouldn't be too sure…' Hinata shuddered as she remembered that odor. She wasn't entirely positive it wasn't capable of killing a human being should they spend too much time in the fumes.
But Naruto didn't seem to pay her any mind. He turned around, and started back towards the bathroom once more. Hinata, running out of options, leapt at his feet, holding him in place.
"Don't go in there! Just ask a neighbor if you could use their bathroom!"
"I have to go, Hinata! I can't hold it in any longer!"
But Hinata was persistent. "You really don't want to go in there, Naruto-kun. I'm begging you, it's for your own good!"
"Let go of me!"
"No!"
"Hinata, I'm seriously about to crap my pants!"
"Then just do it! Just don't go in there!"
Naruto finally stopped, and he turned around. He smiled. "Okay…okay. If you don't want me to go in there that badly, I won't."
Hinata felt a wave of relief wash over her. "R-really? Thank you, Naruto-kun!"
He offered his hand out to her, and led her over to the bed. He sat her down…
And disappeared in a cloud of smoke.
"No!" Hinata cried, as she noticed the real Naruto sprinting for the bathroom out of the corner of her eye.
"I'm sorry, Hinata, but I need to go now! I'm sure that whatever's wrong it can't be that ba—"
Hinata had hoped to reach him before he could open the door, but she had been too slow. Naruto had flung the door wide open in his rush to sit down, and he paid a dear price. Unfortunately for the both of them, because Hinata had kept the door shut, the smell had had the time to collect and grow stronger, and when Naruto opened the door, it burst forth with explosive force.
"NOOOOOOOOOO!" Naruto cried, as he was thrown backwards against the wall. His eyes watered and he could smell his hair burning. It was the foulest stench he had ever had the misfortune of smelling. To make matters that much worse, he was knocked unconscious, which meant that the conscious effort he had been putting in to hold it in… was no longer there. There came an awful sound, and the smell grew even worse.
Hinata did not escape its wrath either. After it had flung Naruto aside like a rag doll, it came rushing after Hinata, and despite her attempt to make a break for it and leap outside onto his balcony, the odor caught her first. She could feel her nose closing up, and the smell was so powerful she could taste it on her tongue. Her vision went blurry, and the last thing she saw was her fingertips grazing against the door to Naruto's balcony. Just shy of freedom.
"What on earth happened here?"
"It looks like a crime scene…"
"This is Naruto's place, isn't it? What is he up to this time?"
"Does anyone else smell that?"
A large crowd stood gathered outside Naruto's apartment, whispering amongst themselves about what might have happened in there. A large crew of men and women garbed in stark white jumpsuits were heading inside, wearing gas masks and welding large rough-bristle brushes.
Naruto and Hinata sat outside, apart from everyone else. They were wrapped in blankets and given hot tea to sip on, while Sakura was checking up on them. She had gone looking for the two of them when they didn't show up for a movie they were supposed to catch, and found them inside shortly after. The smell was still close to unbearable, but enough for her to drag them out of the apartment, and wait for them to wake up while she called in a team to fumigate the entire apartment building. Several of the other neighbors were angry to leave their homes, but at least they knew where that horrible smell was coming from.
"So just what the hell was going on in there?" Sakura asked, with her hands on her hips. "First you two guys don't show up to the movie. Next thing you know, I find the both of you out cold on the floor, and surrounded by the most disgusting smell I've ever had the misfortune of smelling. You two have got some explaining to do."
It seemed like everyone Hinata had ever known in the village was there, and all she wanted to do was bury her face in the blanket and hope she woke up from this nightmare.
Naruto scratched at his cheek. "It's kind of a funny story. Our electricity went out when the air conditioning thingy exploded. It happened over night, so by the time we woke up, a bunch of the food had gone bad. I thought for sure it would be okay…"
Sakura made a face. "Naruto, what on earth were you thinking!? You should have known that spoiled food would do that to you. Honestly, do you ever think anything through?"
"But Sakura-chan, it wasn't my fault. It was…" He stopped. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Hinata looking mortified. He rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment, and laughed.
"Yeah, I guess it was my fault! Heh, sorry Sakura-chan! Guess I paid for that, huh?"
Sakura rolled her eyes. "You're not done paying for it just yet, Naruto. That smell could mean something's very wrong with your gastric system. I'll need to take you to the hospital and take a look."
Naruto's eye twitched. "Excuse m-me?"
"Yeah, that could mean a lot of trouble if we're not careful. It'll only be a quick colonoscopy, and then we'll know for sure." She started dragging him off towards the hospital, with him kick and squirming.
"Sakura-chan, I'm sure it's nothing that bad! Please, let me go of my arm! I don't want to get a camera shoved up my butt! Sakura-chan! SAKURA-CHAAAN!"
His voice slowly disappeared as Sakura dragged him around the corner. Ino, who had shown up with Shikamaru and Chōji to see what all the commotion was about, shook her head, chuckling. "Will Naruto every catch a break?"
Lee had also overheard what had happened, and wiped a genuine tear from his eye. "My heart goes out to Naruto-kun, for being asked to undergo such a procedure. I have been told it is not the most comfortable of examinations."
But a sudden noise interrupted their conversation. It had been so quiet that at first, everyone thought that they might have only been hearing things. But then they heard the sound once again, louder this time, and everyone turned to look at Hinata, who sat there with one hand to her stomach, and her eyes bulging out of their sockets.
"O-oh dear…" she murmured quietly.
Author's Note: Haha, even someone as dainty as Hinata has her problems, I guess!
This was a lot fun to write, and I hope you enjoyed it.
Here's what inspired this idea:
"Hinata is in Naruto's apartment, (Naruto is out for some reason) it's a normal and peaceful day, when suddenly she feels the urge to go to the bathroom (thanks to the cup of ramen past the expiration date Naruto made her eat).
She's really embarrassed just thinking about doing such a thing in Naruto's bathroom, but the call of nature is to strong and she's forced to give up and run to the toilet.
Guess what happen when she just finished doing what she was doing?
Naruto arrives rushing home, and he has the same problem Hinata had minutes before and he must really go to the toilet.
Hinata however, doesn't want him to go the bathroom because she fears of what he may think of her, if he goes to the bathroom and there's still some bad stink. So she tries in every way possible to stop him."
A little longer than the first one, but that just helped me out. Thanks again, OGAFazer89AC!
Remember, if you have an idea, let me know!
Until next time.
