Chapter 2: D'you like Sam Adams?

"I really am sorry, Utena-sama," Anthy said, looking down into her drink, a blush heating her face. Across from her at the little high table sat Utena, rubbing her red eyes with a napkin to clean up the tears that still occasionally leaked out. The pink-haired younger woman looked a little worse for wear, but Anthy marveled that she was still the loveliest person in the room.

Utena smiled shakily and reached out with her free hand to pat Anthy's. "It's alright, Anthy. I'll be fine, honest. Now could you please drop the sama from my name? It's been nine years after all. The games are over, and we're not engaged anymore."

"Okay, Utena-sa… Utena." That earned Anthy another small grin.

"Thanks." There was silence between them then that neither knew how to break. The only noises were those of the restaurant and ChuChu discretely munching on potato chips out of the public eye. Anthy didn't know what to say, and for a while it seemed that Utena was in the same predicament. Then she said, "So… you're out. Free at last… you are, aren't you?"

Anthy nodded. "I am. I left shortly after you disappeared." She couldn't resist smiling, or the way that Utena's eyes softened when she saw it. "I packed my things, told Akio I was leaving right to his face, and then I just walked out."

"That sounds amazing," Utena said warmly. "I wish I could have seen it."

"It was… exhilarating. Magical, a catharsis." She chuckled, a little embarrassed. "I had never felt such satisfaction before as I did walking away without a second glance."

"I'm so glad," Utena said, her voice soft but fiercely sincere. She moved their hands so that their fingers were intertwined, and she ran her thumb across Anthy's knuckles. "What about the others? Do you know what happened to them?"

Anthy shrugged somewhat awkwardly. She didn't feel the least bit sad that she had not seen any of the other Duelists or Ohtori students since that glorious day, but she felt bad not knowing for Utena's sake. "I haven't seen any of them since I left, but… I could tell that they were healing, becoming stronger, and starting to overcome whatever had held them back before. I suspect that they have all graduated by now."

Utena shut her eyes and let out a sigh of relief. "That makes me feel so much better. I can't tell you how many times I've worried about them, trapped in that place. It really made me wonder what happens to people who never graduate."

Anthy knew what happened to people like that. It wasn't pleasant. But she would keep that knowledge to herself. "I think they're fine," she said reassuringly. "I imagine it's much easier to graduate now that I'm gone."

"Why is that?" Utena asked, watching her.

Anthy paused, but then decided that Utena had to know enough already that this wasn't even a secret. "Without my power, Akio will not be able to hold people like he used to. He will try, but he will fail."

That blue gaze hardened, became angry, and for a moment Anthy was afraid, but then she scolded herself for feeling something so ridiculous. Utena gritted her teeth together. Anthy could see the skin of her jaw pale. The pink-haired girl's entire body grew tense, except her hand in Anthy.

"It still makes me so angry," Utena said, and Anthy had to lean in to hear her. "Akio," she spat. "That bastard. I get sick just thinking about everything he put you through, everything he put our friends through. I almost wish he was here so I could finally smash that smug face in."

Anthy moved her drink in order to take Utena's hand in both of hers. "What's done is done. It doesn't matter now. He's not someo-"

"Of course it matters!" Utena hissed, struggling to maintain the volume of her voice. "Don't you ever say that it doesn't. What he did… god, I can't stand to think… and what he did to you for so long, I just…" She roughly pressed her free fist to her eyes, knuckling away more tears to the best of her ability.

Anthy reached out and gently pushed Utena's hand away so she could wipe her face with a clean napkin. "There," she said comfortingly, her fingers lingering on pale cheeks. She sighed. "You're right, Utena. It amazes me how often you're right about things. It does matter, but it's the past and can't be changed. It matters, but what matters more is that it will never happen again. We're not there anymore, and that place has no power over us."

"That's true," Utena said. There was silence for a minute or two, and then she asked, "Are you done with that? Do you want to get out of here?"

"Yes," Anthy said, though her cup was far from empty. And if Utena noticed that she hadn't chosen to eat anything, she decided not to comment. The younger woman called over a waiter, a boy named George.

"Hey there, brat," she said, smiling at him. "Can we get our check?"

"Call me brat again, and I'll make you pay the whole restaurant's bill," the boy said matter-of-factly, and Utena snickered.

"Okay, squirt, no need for anything drastic," she said, holding up her hands in playful surrender. Anthy watched this interaction with rapt interest.

"I'm only five years younger than you, ya know," he said. Then he glanced at Anthy with clear, inquisitive hazel eyes. "So, is this your sugar mama or what?" He asked Utena. Anthy blinked, while Utena lightly shoved the boy with her arm.

"Don't be rude," she scolded him, frowning. "I'll have you know that this is Anthy Himemiya. Anthy, this punk ass kid is George. He's the owner's son, and he ought to spend less time bussing tables and more time practicing some manners."

George turned to Anthy and offered her a friendly smile. "My apologies, Miss Anthy. I just can't resist getting my jabs in whenever this loser shows up." He offered her a clean hand to shake, and she did.

"It's nice to meet you, George," she said charmingly. She could see a blush forming under his golden tanned skin. "Tell me, does Utena come here a lot?"

"She does," he said, forgetting for a moment to let go of her hand. "Almost every day. Orders the same thing too. A number five with cheese fries."

"Is that so?" Anthy said with a smirk, glancing at Utena. The woman huffed and straightened her jacket self-importantly.

"Not like anyone could blame me," she said.

"True enough," George conceded. "But you should really start sticking to salads. I haven't wanted to say anything, but…"

"Oh really? Oh. Really? You wanna compare six-packs again, shrimp?" Utena even stood up, puffing out her chest. Anthy pulled her back down with a snicker. "And to think, you're so rude that you come and pull this stuff when I'm with a lady. I should tell your mom on you."

"You started it," George said, before walking away get their check. Utena stuck her tongue out at his retreating back. When she looked back to find Anthy hiding laughter behind her hand, she tried to look disapproving, but couldn't manage it.

"Don't mind the kid. He's all talk," she said.

"Would you really have made him compare abdominal muscles?"

Utena grinned proudly. "Of course! He's got nothing on me." She looked at the witch with curiosity. "And you, you could've charmed that kid out of his lunch money with just a smile. You've still got it."

"Got what?" Anthy asked, honestly curious. Utena just grinned.

A minute later, George came back with their check. Anthy paid, despite Utena's protests, and then they got up to leave.

"Don't be a stranger, Miss Anthy," the boy called after them. Anthy smiled and waved when Utena turned back to make a face at him.

Back out in the street, Anthy almost instantly wanted to go back into the restaurant. But an arm came around her shoulder and Utena was talking softly in her ear. "Anthy, what's wrong?"

"C-crowds," Anthy said simply, eyes darting around nervously, sure that something awful was going to happen.

"Oh… Oh!" Utena exclaimed with realization. Her arm tightened. She looked around thoughtfully. "Don't worry, Anthy. We'll go somewhere else. Hey, how about my place? It's just down the street. Is that… okay with you?"

Anthy nodded, keeping her mouth closed. She might not have eaten anything, but she was suddenly sure she would vomit if she opened her mouth. Utena rubbed her arm and started leading her along the sidewalk. People stepped aside for them as they passed, and it seemed that they could not escape attention entirely. The witch pressed closer to Utena, trying to make herself small and unremarkable, as she had so often done in Ohtori. Her efforts paid off. People looked away, but somehow she didn't feel any better. The sun was shining brightly, but it offered no relief from the cold. In fact, the only warmth Anthy could feel was from the woman beside her. That was probably a metaphor for something, Anthy thought absently, but she was much too distracted and, frankly, right sick of symbolism to think deeper about it. She was shivering; she wrapped her arms around her torso and cursed herself for forgetting gloves.

"We're almost there," Utena said, and sure enough, they soon stopped before a plain red brick building with concrete steps and wrought iron railings leading up to a pair of black doors. Utena pulled the right door opened and gently ushered Anthy inside. "Mine's on the third floor. The elevator is right over here."

The inside of the elevator was small and somewhat musty. ChuChu sneezed, and she handed him a tissue. "Sorry," Utena said, looking slightly embarrassed. "This old thing just got fixed after being broken for like two months. It's still a little dusty. And noisy. And slow."

"It's fine," Anthy said. "How long have you been living here?"

Utena scratched her chin thoughtfully. "'Bout three years now. Although, I used to live in a place on the fifth floor." She smiled humorously. "I've been upgraded since then."

"The third floor is better?"

"Oh yes." Blue eyes glinted. "Less stairs, less time in an elevator, less height. Less of so many things I've come to dislike." It was Anthy's turn to be embarrassed. She looked away, her face heating up. But then she felt a kiss land on her cheek, and she looked back up in surprise. Utena was smiling gently, leaning against the wall with one arm. When she spoke, her voice was tender if teasing. "You know, I still haven't quite forgiven you for not telling me about the elevator to the Dueling Arena from the get go. Do you know how many cramps I got climbing those damnable stairs? And every time I would get up there and you and the challenger would already be there; what was up with that? You never said… Did they just show up early? Did they have another way of getting there that was exclusive to the Student Council?" Utena leaned in closer. Anthy could smell the leather of her jacket. "And what about you?" She murmured. "How did you always get there before me?"

"Magic," Anthy said. She found that she was struggling to breathe normally. This time, though, it wasn't from anxiety, but rather a much different feeling. She licked her lips, trying but failing not to notice blue eyes move in time. "The Student Council had a gondola from their meeting place. Sort of." She didn't mention how the Black Rose duelists had gotten there. She never would if she could manage it.

"Sort of…" Utena repeated pensively. "Yeah, 'sort of' makes sense doesn't it? Since everything was just an illusion from the Planetarium. Still." She smiled again. "The thigh burn was very real." Anthy managed a weak smile back, noting once again how Utena's gaze darted downward as she did so.

The elevator made a dinging sound and came to a stop. Utena looked vaguely disappointed, but the expression was gone by the time the doors opened. "It's over here," she said, jerking her thumb at a door on the left-hand side. The number was (important symbolic holy number here). Anthy firmly chose to ignore that. Utena unlocked the door and went inside first, tugging Anthy behind her. Lights came on, illuminating a small sitting area with a kitchen off to the left side. A door on the right was ajar; no doubt the door to the bedroom. The sitting area was a little bare. It held a futon in its upright position, one wooden side table with a lamp on it, a simple coffee table made of dark wood, and one battered armchair all on a large blue rug. Against the wall was another dark table with a television sitting on top of it. What especially captured Anthy's interest though was the mounted cello in the far corner, leaning proudly on its stand with its case tucked behind. She went to have a closer look.

It was a modest model, nothing like the outrageous ones she had seen in the past. It was built by a respectable name. Anthy remembered that this model was known for its durability rather than its flashiness. The witch couldn't guess at its age, but it was most definitely well-loved and well-used.

"You play?" She asked, gently plucking a string.

"Mmm." Utena was standing right behind her, peering over her shoulder. Anthy marveled that she could be so quiet. "Once upon a time, I was awfully good at it, if I do say so myself." The younger woman smirked. "Fortunately, my skills came back with the rest of my memories."

"Oh?" Anthy asked, almost whispered. "You never said…"

She felt Utena shrug. "No one ever asked."

"And what about the keyboard?" Anthy looked at the other instrument sitting in the room, tucked in the opposite corner. Utena snorted softly.

"Well, you and Miki inspired me. I started learning to play a few years back, and I'd like to think I'm fairly proficient at this point."

"You've done so much," Anthy murmured. She felt her eyes burn and she blinked to clear them while wondering at her own reactions.

"Eh, I suppose," Utena said. She rested a hand on Anthy's shoulder and turned her around. "But I can't think I've done more than you, Miss World Traveler Anthy Himemiya." She fingered the lapels of Anthy's jacket. "I've seen this style before; Italian, right? It's very pretty." Her touch moved to Anthy's white beret. "France, of course." One finger gently batted at one of her jade earrings. "New Zealand, right? Or maybe Burma?"

"How do you know all that?"

Utena grinned. "My own research. And the shopping network."

"You hated that," Anthy said, stating the obvious because she couldn't think of anything else while this woman was so close to her.

That smile widened. "I still do. But I know people who watch it just as religiously as you." She shut her eyes and sighed dramatically. "There's no escape for me, it seems. Not when I have to buy people presents." Opening her eyes, she continued. "But you've been all over, haven't you? You got these in person."

"Yes, I was…"

Utena tilted her head. "What?"

Anthy swallowed. "I was searching. Looking for you."

"For me?"

"Yes, I… I looked everywhere. This whole time I've been…" Curse her, but her speech was finally failing. Her emotions were getting the better of her again and she couldn't rein them in like she used to. The real weight of it all was sinking in. Utena was here, in the flesh before her. She was living and breathing, miraculously, after everything that had happened. The witch would be lying if she said a part of her didn't expect to find her hero immobile in a hospital, or worse. And Utena was speaking to her, happy to see her even after everything Anthy had done. She was speaking to her as if none of it had come to pass, which was stupid and unexpected and so very much like that noble girl of years past who had tried so hard to be a Prince. Utena had changed except in the ways she hadn't, and somehow that made the knot in Anthy's throat grow all the more.

"Anthy? Hey, don't cry…" Utena's expression was concerned, and her hands were cupping the witch's face. Her thumbs wiped away unexpected tears, tears Anthy had as little control over as she did every other reaction to this impossible woman in front of her. Utena's hands were rougher than they used to be, and bigger too. Anthy could feel calluses left from hard work against her cheeks. She cried over them, over the loss of inexperience and the inescapable change that came to all people in time. It was absurd, but somehow she thought that change would never come to Utena, to the girl who had held so stubbornly to her childhood that she started a Revolution with the strength of her innocent ideals.

Did she still hold those ideals? Or were they discarded long ago, left far behind in the storm of newfound adulthood? Anthy didn't know, couldn't guess. She didn't know this older Utena, how she acted or how to handle her. Once the witch had prided herself on knowing all people for who they really were, but then this child had appeared before her in an empty church, wearing a funeral dress and her heart on her sleeve. Utena had crashed into her sub-par existence in a torrent of blind passion and bull-headed good intentions. She had smashed a lot of things, but most of all Anthy's arrogant preconceptions. And she was doing it all again, here in this time and place. She surprised Anthy with her maturity, both physical and emotional. She surprised Anthy with her happiness, with the way that every smile reached her eyes. Most of all, she surprised Anthy with her kindness, just like before.

Utena had changed except in all the ways that she hadn't, and Anthy cried over that; whether in despair or elation, she couldn't say.

"Anthy…" The witch found herself in Utena's arms. The other woman was holding her close and stroking her hair, whispering to her, trying to soothe. "It's alright. Shh, shh, it's okay. I'm right here. Tell me what's wrong." But Anthy couldn't answer. Her words were stopped up. Utena pulled back a bit to look at her face. Her blue eyes burned Anthy with their sincerity and worry. "What do you need?"

Her mouth opening and shutting, the witch fought for any level of coherency, even if she could only cobble together the simplest of phrases. This feeling was not something willing to be tied down with words, but she had to try. She let out a sob. "I… I need…"

"What?" Utena whispered. "Tell me. Show me, if you have to."

Show?

When Anthy kissed her, for a moment it was like they were right back in Ohtori, in their tower room in the middle of the night. The kiss was chaste and sweet and almost as innocent, and Utena's body was like a tower in its way, a warm, living shield protecting Anthy from harm. Of course, it was also better than anything in Ohtori could ever be. Here in this moment, there were no baleful eyes watching from the shadows, no impending duel to worry over, no grief or confusion or deception tainting the mood, and, best of all, no swords under Anthy's skin whispering cruel lies and even crueler truths in her mind.

Utena, now 23 years old, was much more experienced with her mouth than before. She had kissed other people in these nine years to be sure. Later, Anthy might find the energy/emotional capacity to be viciously jealous about that, but right now she was grateful as the kiss turned from a child's simple affection into something more intimate. As gentle and undemanding as she had always been, Utena pressed her lips more boldly to Anthy's, making a soft sound in the back of her throat. The kiss became something fierce, and the witch welcomed it, echoing that soft moan.

It didn't extend beyond that, though, and Anthy didn't bother trying to sort through her feelings on the matter. When they pulled apart for breath, they were both red in the face, Utena especially so. The younger woman licked her lips and opened her eyes to stare in surprise. "S-so, show, huh?"

"Show," Anthy agreed, finding it in her upturned heart to let out a weak chuckle. Utena chuckled too, her grip around Anthy's waist loosening as though she was a little embarrassed. It was silly and awkward, and somehow it was just what the witch needed to get a hold of herself at last.

Taking a deep breath, she reached into her purse (which somehow had not fallen to the floor) and ChuChu gave her a handkerchief to wipe away the remaining tear tracks from her face. It was unnatural, really, that something so small could put a lock on wild emotions the way it did. However, Anthy had grown used to unnatural things since meeting Utena Tenjou.

The other woman was taking the time to compose herself as well, releasing Anthy in favor of straightening her jacket, breathing regularly, and clearing her throat. The beet-like redness in her cheeks hadn't faded, and her head was ducked. Shy, yet another trait that had persisted over the years; at least, around Anthy she could still be shy. It was clear that, for all of her not-so-subtle desire for it, a kiss was the last thing Utena expected to get from the witch. The young hero had never liked being caught off-guard by anything, but Anthy thought this reaction was and always would be unspeakably cute. The witch decided to make the first move once again, putting her fingers under Utena's chin and tilting her head back up.

The younger woman smiled bashfully, and then straightened up. "Do you, uh, have any plans today?" She swallowed. "I mean, if you're free, do you maybe want to hang out here for a bit? We can… talk. If you want to." Again she looked away, filled suddenly with the tongue-tied grace of a smitten school-boy.

Anthy smiled. "No, I had no plans," she lied. "And talking sounds… nice."

Utena looked up in surprise again. Was it really so stunning? "G-good! I'm glad! Um, uh, why don't you make yourself at home? Can I get you anything? Are you hungry or thirsty?"

Thinking about the beverage she barely touched back in the restaurant, Anthy said, "I am a little thirsty. I wouldn't mind a drink."

"Okay," Utena said, taking off her jacket and taking Anthy's as well with all due (but really unneeded) respect, and going to hang them on hooks by the door. She headed into the kitchen while the witch took a seat on the couch, closest to the corner where the cello stood. She listened to the sounds of rummaging in the kitchen, and took a few more calming breaths. There had been enough commotion in one morning to last the witch for a week, and now it was time to settle down again. Or so she hoped.

She heard Utena call from the kitchen, "D'you like Sam Adams?"