A/N: Hey :) Glad to see you're reading this. It makes me very happy, lol :) Now, on to business. I'm kinda at a stand-still on a couple of other fics, so I decided to write on this one. No time better than the present, right? As always, if you have an idea for and/or about this or any of my other fics, feel free to tell me :) Anywho, enjoy :) P.S. Dean is kinda out of character, I'm afraid. Sorry bout that. P.S. There is smut! Yay! Second attempt, so probably not very good, sorry.
Castiel was a seraph who had lived through many millenia. He might not be 'street smart', but he knew when someone was trying to get rid of him. That was why he'd left, under the pretense of 'attending to other matters', and that was why he had reappeared the moment Dean left the room. He didn't mean to be nosy, he just wanted to know why the hunter didn't want him there.
He had reappeared and flopped down onto the bed, which caused a book to drop onto the floor. Castiel picked it up, noticing it had closed when it hit the floor. In an attempt to find the page it had been on, he opened it and began reading.
June 13
I decided to try writing down my thoughts in this journal. And, yes, it is most definitely a journal and not a diary. Anyway, today me and Sammy killed a werewolf. It threw me into a wall. I'm fine, but my arm hurts like hell. Yeah, so, that's all.
June 28
I have something important to say. So, um, listen, I guess. And help me decide what to do. Wow, I sound batshit crazy. Anyways, I think I like Cas. I mean, like-like him. God, I sound like a 15 year old girl. I first noticed it when he dropped his cell, the one I got him, and he bent over to pick it up, and I found myself thinking that he has a nice ass! Then, when we were at a bar and a girl flirted with him, I got real jealous. I actually told her to fuck off! Now that I think back, I realize I've liked him for a long time, and that scares the hell outta me. That's all.
July 5
I think I was wrong. I'm pretty sure I don't like Cas. I think I might love him. I'm not sure, but I know I've never felt this way about anyone, not even Lisa. I've decided what I'm going to do: not a damn thing. He probably doesn't feel the same way, and I'd only hurt myself. I like to think it would hurt our fight more, to lose him, but, if I'm completely honest, which I rarely am, it would hurt me more. Even if we're only friends, at least I'd still have him. Ok, so bye.
July 10
Today, we killed a nest of demons. Cas helped, and he got hurt. He's an angel, and he healed himself immediately, but it got me thinking. What if, one day, for some reason, he can't heal himself? I couldn't stand to lose him. It would kill me. I'm sorry, I'm smudging the words with my tears. I've turned into such a girl! But, it's true. I couldn't survive if he were to suddenly not be there. Again, such a girl! Me and Sammy have a hunt tomorrow, so I should get some sleep. Bye.
July 16
Cas told me something today. He said that seraphs like him have periods and can get pregnant. He left after saying that he constantly worries about me and Sammy. He didn't call Sam 'Sammy' though. And, now all I can think of is how much I'd like to help him get rid of the whole period problem for a few months ;) I've got to take care of some boner issues now. I'll write later.
Castiel would've heard Dean's footsteps, if he wasn't so wrapped up in Dean's journal. He looked up when he heard a surprised gasp. Dean stood there, blushing and looking furious at the same time.
"What are you doing?! That's mine! So much for your 'other matters to attend to' shit!" Dean yelled and yanked the book out of Castiel's hands.
"Dean, I do not understand why you are so upset." Castiel said, with his trademark headtilt.
"It's my journal. I put private stuff in there. Stuff I don't want anyone else to know about," Dean replied and sighed, "How much did you read? And, how much explaining do I need to do?"
"I read all of it. I only need one explanation. I wish to understand how you would feel if your feelings were reciprocated." Castiel said, surprising Dean.
"Are you saying that you love me too?" Dean asked.
"I do not know. All I know is that I am drawn to you. And I feel hurt when you feel hurt. And I wish to eliminate every threat to your wellbeing." Castiel said.
For Dean, that was close enough. He hauled Castiel to his feet by his coat, and kissed him passionately. He conveyed everything he felt in the kiss, and Castiel did his best to keep up.
Dean was pretty content to just kiss Castiel. Apparently, Castiel wasn't, because he started to pull Dean's jacket off. Dean stopped him.
"Are you sure you want to do this, Cas? We don't have to. It won't make my feelings any less real." Dean said softly.
"Dean, I want-" Castiel began, but he didn't exactly know how to convey what he wanted. Then, he got an idea. He grabbed Dean's hand and moved it down to his crotch. He groaned when he felt Dean's hand on his erection.
"Ok," Dean said, "But, what do you want to do?" At Castiel's confused stare, Dean clarified, "Do you want to go all the way? Or not? Either way's fine with me."
Castiel quickly made up his mind. "Dean, if you mean sex by 'going all the way', then, yes, Dean, please."
Dean groaned and helped Castiel pull his t-shirt over his head. He grabbed the angel's trenchcoat and pushed it to the floor. Dean firmly pressed his lips to the angel's in a heated kiss, a promise of what was to come. Once Dean had gotten the trenchcoat off of Castiel, he unbuttoned the white button up and pushed it down with his angel's suit jacket. He began kissing, licking, and nipping every inch of skin he could reach, making his angel whimper.
Dean hurriedly undid the clasp of the angel's slacks. He unzipped them and pulled them off, along with his angel's socks and shoes, when Castiel stepped out of them.
Dean quickly pulled off his socks, shoes, pants, and was about to remove his boxers, when a thought struck him.
"Um, Cas, I don't think we can do this now." Dean said sadly.
"Why?" Castiel asked.
"Dude, you said earlier that you were on your period. You said it's like a girl's period, and girls don't have sex when they're on their period."
"Dean, I said a seraph's menstrual cycle is similar to a female's menstrual cycle. Seraphs merely have abdominal pains and can get pregnant." Castiel said.
"But, then, we probably shouldn't because you might get pregnant and I don't really think we're ready for that." Dean said worriedly.
"Dean, it'll be okay, I said it was possible for a seraph to get pregnant; however, it isn't likely. Especially during a seraph's first sexual experience."
"Ok then." Dean said, and jerked his boxers off. His angel's soon followed. Dean pressed his body against Castiel's, and kissed him heatedly. He ground his hips into Castiel's and moaned. His angel groaned softly.
Dean walked them over to the bed. They tumbled onto it, Dean on top of Castiel. They kissed for a few minutes, and Dean got up. Castiel looked at him worriedly, like he thought Dean didn't want him after all. It broke Dean's heart.
"Cas, I'm just getting lube. We're gonna need it." Dean replied, rummaging in his duffel until he found it.
He walked back over to the bed and kneeled between Castiel's legs. Dean popped the top of the bottle and coated his fingers generously; he didn't want to hurt his angel. Dean hesitantly touched one finger to his angel's entrance.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" Dean asked.
"Yes, Dean, I'm sure. Now, please, hurry up." Castiel replied.
Dean gently pushed his finger in to the knuckle and started moving it slowly in and out. Castiel groaned at the intrusion. Soon, though, he was moaning and pushing back onto Dean's finger. Dean added a second, then a third, and, finally, a fourth for good measure.
"Dean, I'm ready." Castiel moaned.
Dean removed his fingers, which made Castiel whimper, and poured a generous amount of lube on his hand and rubbed it onto his cock.
"Cas, are you absolutely, completely sure about this? There's no undoing it once it's done." Dean said.
"Yes, Dean, I'm completely, absolutely sure. I appreciate your asking. Now, please, fuck me." Castiel said.
Dean had to grip the base of his cock to keep from coming right then. He lined his cock up with his angel's entrance, and slowly pushed in.
Both groaned; Dean because his angel was so tight and hot, Castiel because it was overwhelming. Once Dean was fully inside his angel, he stopped to allow Castiel to adjust. After a moment, Castiel nodded.
Dean began to move slowly in and out. "Dean, please move faster." Castiel whined.
Dean began to move faster, Castiel encouraging him even move with every whimper, groan, moan, and indistinct word. Soon, Dean was slamming into Castiel so hard that the head of the bed was hitting the wall with every thrust. Dean could hear someone shouting at them to be quieter, but he didn't give a fuck. He'd wanted this for so long, and, now, he finally had it.
Dean was close, and if the noises Cas was making were any indication, so was he. Dean leaned forward and sucked a bruise on Castiel's neck, where everyone would see that he belonged to Dean. That thought had Dean coming with a shout of Castiel's name. Castiel followed after two more thrusts, with a scream of Dean's name. Dean pulled out, and gathered his angel into his arms, and both soon succumbed to sleep.
