When my eyes first opened, I spent my first few waking moments in bliss. The smell of freshly made bread filled my nose and I could feel a soft blanket clinging to my skin. I snuggled further into the blanket, intending to fall back asleep.

Then I suddenly remembered where I was.

I shot up into a sitting position, my eyes darting around the place. I was in Peeta's house. I began to breathe rapidly, wondering if seeing Peeta again had all just been a dream. Had I sleep walked into his house?

"You're awake." Peeta murmured, his soft voice rising from somewhere behind me.

I stood abruptly, whipping around to where his voice had come from. His expression was tinted with concern. I could see the burn scars across his arms which caused me to wince. I was hit with a sudden wave of vertigo and had to hold onto the couch to keep my balance.

"Peeta…" I spoke; my voice was barely a whisper.

"It's me." He said strongly, the wide smile I had seen before I blacked out returned to his face. My heart skipped a beat.

Every fibre of my being wanted to run to him and take him into my arms but I couldn't find the strength to move.

"I…I thought that I would never s-see you again." My voice broke as the words came out. Tears began to stream down my cheeks. I realized now that I had lost all hope that I would ever see him again. Now he was standing not two metres away from me and I couldn't even move. I wanted – no, needed – to feel his arms around me once again. I wanted to be in the one place that I felt the most safe.

"Dr. Aurelius only approved that I was sane enough to leave the other day. I arrived a few hours ago. I wanted to come and see you, but truthfully I was kinda scared. I wasn't exactly sure if you ever wanted to see me again." He began to walk towards me and stopped when he was a few inches away. I could tell just by the sound of his voice how uneasy he felt.

I gazed into his blue eyes that I missed so dearly. I wanted so badly for him to put his arms around me. He was the only person that could hold me together when I felt like a million shattered pieces. He was the only one that could make the nightmares go away. I didn't know what all these strange emotions inside of me were but that didn't matter. What I know for certain is that he is alive and seemingly well. He is here.

Peeta seemed to be able to read the begging in my eyes. Within moments, he wrapped his arms around me in a tight hug. He smelt of the bread and cinnamon and everything that I had missed. My arms, finally able to move, snaked their way around his waist. I pressed my face into his chest and we stood there in silence for a few moments. I hadn't realised this during my months of being a living zombie but this, Peeta's touch, his warmth, was what I craved.

"I missed you, Katniss." Peeta whispered into my ear, breaking the silence and causing a shiver to roll over me.

"I missed you too." I replied, my words muffled by his chest. There was something brewing in the deepest parts of me and whatever it was made me want to never leave Peeta's side.

Reluctantly, I pulled away and dropped my arms. His face displayed a hint of sadness for a moment as our embrace ended but he quickly masked his emotions. I wanted to continue hugging him more than anything but I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to let go.

The smell of freshly baked bread still lingered in the air and it made my stomach growl. It was unusual that I was still hungry considering I had eaten not long ago. However, the bread that Peeta made always made my mouth water. He'd always leave me wanting more and I wasn't just talking about his food.

Peeta, hearing my stomach growled, released a soft laugh.

"Are you hungry? I kind of made your favourite…" He blushed. God, he was adorable. "Cheese buns, remember?"

I nodded in response, the corner of my lips pulled up to form a small smile. He was right of course, his cheese buns were my favourite.

Peeta smiled back and motioned for me to follow him to the kitchen. I obliged, following closely behind him. The smell of the bread grew stronger in the kitchen. I had forgotten how wonderful it smelt. There were a few cheese buns placed on a cooling rack on one of the benches. My mouth watered at just the sight of them and my eyes widened. I could not believe I was getting this excited over a cheese bun. In all fairness, it had been a long time since I'd had Peeta's baked goods.

Peeta grabbed a plate from the cupboard and handed me. He then placed two cheese buns on my plate and one on his own.

I frowned, wondering why he was only going to eat one. He looked a lot thinner than he had originally been. Had they even been feed-

"Would you like to sit at the table with me?" Peeta asked, pulling me away from my train of thought.

"Of course." I said softly, once again following him to the table. I sat down in the seat next to him, not wanting to leave his side. I knew that eventually I would have to leave and go to my own house. Although it was only across the street, a feeling of uneasiness washed over me when I thought about being that far away from him.

We both began to eat the cheese buns, ripping off little pieces and putting it into our mouths. I savoured each and every bite as it tasted absolutely delicious. I felt like I could eat ten more.

"These are delicious Peeta, thank you." I mumbled in between bites.

"You're welcome, Katniss. I'll cook them for you whenever you want."

The sweet gesture made me feel giddy inside but I hid my emotions well. I was so confused as to why I was feeling like this. Originally, the whole 'star-crossed lovers' was just an act. An act that saved our lives during the first Hunger Games we were in. However, during the Quarter Quell I found it became more comfortable with him. Then eventually, I realized that I wasn't acting at all. I refused to let myself think about this back then because it just let me confused.

I was terrified to love Peeta because he deserved so much more than me.

I swallowed back my feelings and began to finish off the last bit of the cheese bun that I had left.

"So…how are things in the Capitol?" I asked, unsure of what else to say. There were so many things that I knew I wanted to say but I did not know how to put them into a coherent sentence.

"I don't know. They didn't tell me much. From the looks of things, everyone is trying to get everything back in order and rebuild what they can. They don't want any of the districts to suffer. I don't know really…" He trailed off, his eyes focused on thin air.

"Katniss, look. I want to apologize. I am so sorry for everything that I called you. So sorry for trying to kill you-"

"Peeta, please, stop." I cut him off, shaking my head quickly. "It was not your fault." I said firmly, emphasizing each word. He needed to know that I didn't blame him for anything. All the blame was on Snow. Even the moment he had his fingers wrapped around my throat, I immediately knew that it wasn't him.

He looked so sad. He no longer hid his emotions and I could see the regret evident on his face. I reached out and placed my hand on his cheek. He flinched as my hand came into contact with his skin but quickly leant into my gesture. The contact with his skin left my own feeling like it was on fire. His eyes wandered up slowly till they were level with mine.

"I don't blame you for any of that. It was Snow. He did that to you. Not yourself. You couldn't control what happened to you and I hated that so much. That was another reason why I so badly wanted to take down the Capitol. Because they took you away from me." I was quite shocked at easily these words slipped from my mouth. He needed to know that I meant everything I said. I didn't want him to feel as though he was responsible for anything that happened.

"Katniss I…"

I quickly leant over and put my hands on either side of his face. He stopped talking immediately and his eyes widened. I wasn't intending to be this close to his face but I didn't pull away. I looked deeply into his eyes for a moment, my breathing becoming rapid.

Partly, I was being selfish because I didn't want him to speak of what happened in the past. It would make old memories surface and I wasn't entirely sure if I could handle that.

"I do not blame you, Peeta. You need to know that, okay?" I was whispering, afraid that if I spoke any louder I wouldn't be able to get the words out. I pressed my forehead to his, feeling comforted by our closeness. We had not been this close in a very long time and the proximity of his lips sent shivers down my spine and made my stomach turn into knots.

"Please don't speak of what happened in the past. I want you to focus on the present. The last thing I want is for you to feel guilt about what happened because I know that it was not you. I know that it was what they did to you that caused you to act like that. I know that deep down, you still loved and cared about me. I want you to be happy, Peeta." I had no idea where this was coming from as I didn't even know if I could ever be happy again myself. I may have lost my sister but he had lost his entire family and he had been tortured. He had the one thing done to him that he did not want; they had changed him into something he was not.

"I am just across the street if you need me. You're welcome to come and see me whenever you want." At this, his eyes lit up and he began to smile. Our eyes still stayed locked on each other. There was a part buried deep inside of me that wanted so badly to feel his lips pressed against my own. However, I needed to push that part of me away and lock it up forever. I couldn't feel that way about him. I couldn't let myself feel too much for anyone anymore knowing how much it hurt when I lost them. Love was dangerous and not something that I wanted.

"Thank you, Katniss." He breathed, finally breaking his gaze and looking away. I dropped my hands to my sides and sat back down in my chair. We sat in silence until I figured it was time for me to go home. I needed to be in my own home so that I could try and figure out the chaos going on inside my head.

"I think it is time for me to go home. I'm kind of tired." I lied, knowing that it would be long before I could sleep. Even then, the nightmares would keep my up for most of the night. Peeta was the only one that could make the nightmares go away but I couldn't sum up the courage to ask him to stay. That wouldn't be right of me.

"I know." Peeta smiled sadly at me before standing and picking up the two plates on the table. He walked over to the sink and placed them both in there then walked back towards me.

"Come on, I'll walk you out."

I stood up, this time walking ahead of him to the door. If I didn't leave soon I wouldn't have the willpower to ever leave. I would stay here, in his protective arms all night. I opened the door and stepped outside before turning around to face him.

"Thank you for the cheese buns Peeta. And thank you for letting me stay here for so long. You don't understand how good it was to be able to see you again."

"Trust me, Katniss, I know. I am more than happy to be back here just for the simple fact that you are here. I probably would not have been able to come back if it weren't for you. I probably wouldn't have been able to recover if it weren't for you." I stared at him in confusion but he just shook his head.

"I'll explain it to you a different time, I promise. I don't want to keep you from sleeping and plus, I'm kind of tired as well." He opened his arms, inviting me in. I stepped closer and wrapped my arms around him once again. I felt like I fit perfectly. Awkwardly, but it was perfect.

"Promise me when I wake up tomorrow you will still be here?" I whispered, hiding my face so that he wouldn't be able to read my emotions. I needed the reassurance that he would be here, that this all wasn't a dream that I would wake up from in the morning. My heart started to race at the very thought of waking up and having my hopes crushed.

"I promise I'll be here. Always." Peeta whispered into my hair, squeezing me tighter for a moment before letting me go. He held me at arm's length and that wide smile that made my heart melt spread across his face. "I'm not going anywhere."

"I'll see you tomorrow, then." I whispered, turning quickly and not looking back as I made a beeline to my house. I was desperately fighting the urge to run back and ask to sleep in his arms but I just couldn't do that.

When I got back to my house I realized that someone had shut the front door. I kicked off my boots and walked straight up the stairs and into my room. Dropping down onto the bed, I crawled under the covers and pulled them over my head.

Did all this mean that I really loved Peeta? The way I was feeling when I was with him and the strong urges that coursed through my body…was that an indication for love? I knew that ever since the Quarter Quell, I felt far more strongly for Peeta but I never thought that the feeling was love. Not in this particular form anyway. I wanted him in every way possible.

No.

I didn't.

I couldn't.

There was no threat that would take him away from me. There was no one left to torture him and use him just to break me. However, he could decide to leave me at any time. And I didn't think that I could live with another person I love leaving me whether it was their decision or not.

Within saying that, I didn't even know if he even still felt the same way about me. I had been a completely horrible person to him and had hurt him terribly. Why in the world would he still feel anything for me? Seeing Peeta had definitely awoken something that I had tried to keep hidden for a very long time. This wasn't how I felt when I saw Gale, or even Prim. The feeling consumed me entirely, suffocating me till it was all I could think about. I had pushed Peeta away for so long that it was a surprise that he was even happy to see me.

I lay there for a few hours, fighting every impulse that flowed through me. It took everything I had to stop myself from running to his house and into his arms. In time, I drifted off to sleep only to be woken up with nightmares what felt like every hour.

They consisted mostly of me searching for Peeta, calling out his name and hearing no response. I would search through his house, in the town and even the woods but he would never respond and eventually I gave in, dropping to the damp forest floor, sobbing for him to return.