WHEN SHE WAKES
I turn away from him, but he grabs my arm and spins me around.
"Let go of me!" I hiss.
He grins. His face is just inches from mine. I open my mouth again but he kisses me before I can say another word. His lips are hard and his kiss rough, but he takes me by surprise and I kiss him back. His right arm encircles my waist and his fingers entangle themselves in my hair. I don't know what I'm doing. I grab a fistful of his shirt and pull him nearer, but my other hand curls into a fist.
I punch him.
He staggers backward and touches his cheek where I hit him. For a moment he's stunned, but then he grins again. "One day, Leah Clearwater, you're going to fall in love with me."
My eyes open. Not suddenly, but slowly, tiredly. There are two shadowy figures standing near me, but their forms are blurred. I try to bring them into focus but my head hurts and my eyes flutter shut once more. It's the smell that eventually forces my eyes open again. The figures haven't moved. I breathe in and the air catches sharply in my throat. It's sweet. Too sweet.
My muscles tense. Without thought, I throw myself from the bed. My legs can't bear my weight, though, and they collapse beneath me. Still the blurred figures don't move. I back away from them, dragging myself along the floor to the nearest wall. I press my back against its surface and try to pull myself to my feet. Something is wrong. My muscles aren't holding me up right and I feel like I'm going to be sick. My eyes dart around the room, but the picture is distorted. The hair on my arms stands up.
"Leah." One of the shadows moves toward me. My name is gentle on his lips, reassuring. Familiar.
"Master," I say. The word is automatic. My voice is hoarse like I haven't spoken in a long while.
Aro opens his arms and embraces me. "My child," he says, "you have woken."
I let him hold me. My arms wrap around his neck as he takes my weight. I begin to shake. At first, just my lip trembles, then my hands start to shake. Now shudders rack through my entire body. I can distinguish Aro's scent now from the other, but I ignore the burning sensation in my nose. "I don't know where I am," I tell him. My voice shakes too.
He pulls away slightly and brushes a lock of hair behind my ear. "Of course you don't, my dear."
I wait for Aro to explain, but he says nothing more. I don't want to speak and so I bury my face in his shoulder. My head feels heavy and my thoughts clouded. I try to resurrect memories of my master, but I find nothing, just a sense of familiarity and comfort. I try to recall other memories now. There's just a face – bronzed and grinning. One day, Leah Clearwater, you're going to fall in love with me. I should be panicking. I know this and yet I can't see through the fog in my head enough to be alarmed.
Then I vomit. Foul-smelling brown liquid. I can taste its acidic tang.
Aro doesn't pull away. He uses one hand to support me while he removes his soiled cloak with the other. Underneath, he wears a matching set of black trousers and a dark grey jacket. He doesn't take his eyes off of me when he next speaks. "Alec," he murmurs, "be a dear and bring me a cloth."
The second figure moves forward and stands with us moments later. He is small with hair like cocoa and the face of an angel. Alec. A name. A fact. I know this, but I don't remember how.
"Master," he says, inclining his head slightly and handing Aro a red cloth. His voice is musical. I flinch when he takes Aro's cloak, but he backs away.
Aro lifts my chin to look at him and then wipes my face clean. His complexion is chalky and his blood-red eyes strangely hazy. I recoil slightly. His forehead creases with concern. "Are you in pain, Leah?" he asks softly. I shake my head. His touch is cold, unnatural, but I wonder if it's because my skin is so hot. I'm aware of it now. I'm burning up. "Come," Aro says. He places one arm across my back to support me as he guides me back towards the bed on which I woke. My legs are unsteady beneath me, but with Aro's help I manage the few shaky steps to the centre of the room.
Alec stands at the foot of the bed as Aro helps me back up. I'm tired now. My muscles ache from the short walk, and my eyelids feel thick and viscid. I have to strain to hear Aro when he tells me quietly to sleep.
When I wake the second time, I panic. My eyes open suddenly this time but my head still feels cloudy. I notice the I.V. cannula in the back of my hand before I notice anything else. A knot of fear forms in the pit of my stomach and I rip the cannula out with my teeth before it can hurt me. It's painful to sit up, but I do. I smell Aro before I see him. He's standing a few metres away, watching me. I scan the room wildly, but we are alone.
He takes a cautious step toward me, but I shuffle backwards in the bed and press myself against its railing. "Please don't come closer," I plead.
Aro stops and puts his hands up in a gesture of docility. "If that is what you'd prefer."
I nod. "Where am I?"
He doesn't answer. "Leah, can you tell me what exactly you remember?"
"I – I –" I stutter and break off. I am Leah. A pale bronzed face once promised me I'd love him. I am afraid of the I.V. drip beside my bed. I stare at Aro and the words leave my lips slowly; my voice inflects the last of them, turning the words into a question. "You are my master?"
His brows rise ever so slightly. "Am I?"
I take a deep breath. "Yes," I say. "Yes, you are my master." The words are wrong though. I have no master. I have only myself. Don't I? My pulse quickens and a breath hitches in my throat. Don't I? Aro is at my bedside now. He takes my hand and regards me through milky eyes. At his touch, I begin to calm down. Aro is my master. I don't remember how or why, but I remember that it is true. I whisper my next words. "I don't want a master."
Aro's features remain impassive, but I see a subtle change in his eyes. He smiles then before I can read it. "How about a friend?" he asks me.
"A friend?" I listen to the sound of the word; I taste it on my tongue. "I might need to think about that," I eventually say.
"I would be disappointed, my dear, if you didn't."
I swallow, but I don't pull away from the cold hand which still holds mine. It comforts me even as it repulses me. "Where am I?" I ask Aro again.
Aro turns his head and his eyes sweep the room. "Italy, Leah. You're home."
"I don't like this room."
"No and neither do I," he says solemnly. "It's awfully dreary. Still, it seemed best that we keep you here."
I study the room more carefully now. There is a large wooden door to my right with a brass handle; it is shut but from where I am it doesn't appear to be locked. The stone walls are grey, as is the low ceiling. The floor is made from thick wooden boards. There are no windows. My bed is in the centre of the room and I sit atop its clean white sheets, wearing a pale pink gown. I can see now that the I.V. drip beside my bed is not connected to the cannula I ripped from my hand; it lies several feet away in a groove between two floor boards.
Aro follows my gaze. "I'm sorry," he says. "I inserted it myself. I thought that you might need some more pain medication. You do burn through it ever so quickly."
I stare at him. "Pain medication?"
For a moment Aro looks distraught. He hesitates before telling me, "You were hurt, Leah." He winces then and lists my injuries. Broken ribs, a fractured femur and jaw, internal bleeding, brain contusions, a subdural haemorrhage…
I don't press Aro for details. It doesn't seem important. "That's why my memories are gone," I say instead.
"For now," he replies, nodding. "Although that will improve with time."
I look down at our hands. I suppose I should feel relieved. Or scared. I don't though, I just feel tired. A face swims in my mind. Dark tousled hair falls in his eyes; he grabs my arm and kisses me… "I do remember something," I tell Aro. My words are beginning to slur.
"Yes," he says, also looking at our hands. "Some memories are more important to us than others."
I flinch then and pull my hand away. "You can see my memory," I utter quietly. I don't know where the words come from. They're ridiculous.
Aro sighs. His tone is apologetic. "We have many gifts here in Italy."
"And yours is reading minds." The words leave my lips and I'm strangely composed. I shouldn't be, but I am. It's just another fact. Aro is my master. I am Leah. The angel-faced boy with the cocoa hair is Alec. I'm afraid of the I.V. drip beside my bed. Aro is a mind reader. Maybe Aro is right. Maybe my memories will improve with time.
"What else do you remember about me?"
I breathe in his sickly scent. "You're a vampire," I say. Vampires don't exist. But Aro does.
"This doesn't shock you." The words are not a question.
"No."
"Why do you think that is?"
I close my eyes and try to force my list of facts into a coherent memory. It would be easier to just sleep. Knowledge does not equal memory. "I think… I think that maybe I've known this about you for a long time, even if I can't remember knowing it." I open my eyes suddenly and the venom in my next words surprises me. "You're a leech."
Aro claps his hands delightedly. "Welcome back, Leah darling!"
I clamp my hand over my mouth. Leech. The word seems fitting, like I've spat it at him a thousand times. Mumbled words emerge from between my fingers. "Do I call you that often?"
"Only when you're angry," Aro tells me. "Which isn't all that uncommon actually. You do have a bit of a temper."
I have a temper. Aro's a leech and I have a temper. I lie back down and stare at the ceiling, trying to recall other facts about myself. I'm twenty -ish? I frown and decide to come back to that later. I'm dangerous. That one's easy. I shouldn't exist but I do. Like Aro.
I squeeze my eyes shut for just a moment and take a sharp breath. My head is hurting again. It doesn't matter though because something inside me suddenly snaps. My eyes narrow. A cold, white fury rushes through me and I hiss through my teeth. I strive to keep my voice even. "How long have I been gone?" I ask.
Aro keeps his voice flat. "Ten days. Your muscles are weak from disuse."
"I want to fix that."
"So do I."
"Fine," I say. I don't know where to direct my fury; I don't even know what brought it on. And so I stifle it. I project it inwards so that my skin prickles and my head pounds. For some reason, this feels natural. "What happens next, then?"
"You begin training. I've arranged for your sessions to start tomorrow."
Training. To fix my weakened muscles. I clench my teeth. "I want to start now."
I turn to see Aro smiling darkly. He looks pleased. "Very well then."
The muscles in my arms shake as I prop myself up onto my elbows. I swing my legs over the edge of the bed and roll so that my stomach presses into the mattress and my toes touch the ground. I'm standing now, using the bed for support. I look down at my calves. They've wasted away in the last ten days. Weak from disuse. Shame warms my cheeks. I am like a child again, learning to walk again, to run, to remember… To run! I grin suddenly and my fury dissolves. I love to run. This I remember.
I'm still smiling when Aro bends to retrieve something from underneath the bed. He straightens and unfolds a grey walking frame. My eyes widen in horror and I forget about running. "I am not using that!"
"Come, Leah, we must not let pride compromise our recovery."
We. Our. I don't miss Aro's casual use of the plural. I snarl at him but grip the handles tightly when he places the walker in front of me. It is sturdy and bears my weight easily. Glaring angrily at it, I use the walker to move towards the door, and then wait silently for Aro to swing it open. "Thanks," I mutter, only half-sarcastic, but I choke on the word and it comes out like a growl. My nose and throat still burn from his stench.
Aro leads me down a stone hallway. Glowing torches light our path. I am slow, and it is a long time before we pass by another room. When we do, Aro stops outside and allows me a moment's rest. A sheen of sweat dampens my forehead. I lean on my walker, breathing heavily. My calf muscles ache and my bare feet protest against the cold stone floor. Aro gives me an approving nod, though, and something like pride stirs inside me.
I grit my teeth, preparing to move again, but a door opens a few metres to our left and I freeze. A large figure dressed in grey steps out into the hallway and walks toward us. He covers the distance quickly and towers above Aro and me, vast and daunting. I know his name. Felix. Another leech. He grins down at me with slightly lopsided lips. Black hair cropped short blends strangely with his pale olive skin. I shift uncomfortably, wishing I'd left the walker behind.
"Your training is finished?" Aro asks.
Felix nods, still grinning, and then gestures toward the door, which he has left open. "He's all yours." His voice is higher than I am expecting.
"Excellent," Aro murmurs. "Leah, be a dear and wait here with Felix."
I don't want to wait here with Felix, and I watch Aro go with unease. Felix is looking at me, though, and I lift my head stubbornly.
"Finally woke up did we?" he teases.
I bare my teeth. I can't shake the feeling that he's laughing at me.
Felix clicks his tongue. "Is this any way to treat your friends, Leah?"
Friends? I blink and appraise Felix. His smile doesn't falter as he holds my gaze. Could he really be my friend? I glare at him and he winks back. My skin crawls. No, Felix isn't my friend. My eyes travel over his bulk. Enemy, my mind hisses. I flinch. I don't know where the thought comes from, but it feels right. Felix is my enemy.
My head turns suddenly then because I can hear Aro's voice from down the hallway. There is another voice too. Clean, devoid of accent or inflection… My pulse quickens and a lump forms inside my throat. I push thoughts of Felix aside as I start moving towards the open door. Slowly still, but I'm going as fast as I can.
"I'm not training her," the voice says. "Assign her somebody else."
"I have assigned her you."
"Don't be foolish!"
"Are you questioning my judgment, Demetri?"
Demetri. A bronzed face. Pale. Dark hair that falls in his eyes.
I can hear the pulse beating behind my ears. I'm breathing too quickly now. The voices fall silent but I keep moving, pushing through the burning in my legs. When I'm outside the room with the voices, though, I stop. I can smell all three of them now: Felix, who hasn't moved from where I left him, Aro, whose scent has never really left me since I awoke… and him. The face from my memory.
