I stood in the middle of the room, staring at the bathroom door Malcolm just disappeared behind. My tummy was still wet from his kisses. For someone who seemed so fearless, he looked absolutely terrified. I imagine I probably looked the same.

I turned around and sat heavily in the chair by the computer monitor and began to twirl my hair around my fingers. I heard him turn on the water in the shower. Before tonight I didn't realize Malcolm harbored any of the same thoughts or feelings as I did. I'd always looked forward to my training exercises with him. On occasion we'd eat a meal together. He'd never really showed any interest in me beyond simple friendship, though. At least not until two minutes ago.

I toyed impatiently with the little items I found on the desk, waiting for Malcolm to emerge from the bathroom. He sure is taking his time in there I thought. Knowing him, he's probably berating himself for the lapse in protocol. I sighed heavily. I had a problem now and I didn't quite know how to handle it. I certainly didn't mind what he did, not by any means. And Malcolm was obviously enjoying himself if the bulge in his briefs I caught a glimpse of was any indication. My stomach flip-flopped at this thought.

"Get a grip Hoshi," I told myself aloud.

I decided maybe I'd let him off the hook and just turn in for the night. One part of me wanted desperately to resolve this, but the other part of me wanted to pretend like nothing happened. God, I felt like I was a teenager again.

I crawled under the blanket on my cot and pulled it up over my head. The shower was still going. What was he doing in there, for heaven's sake? I've never known a man to take such a long shower. Maybe he slipped and hit his head. Maybe he fell asleep.

Maybe he's...no, no, no! Don't go there, Hoshi! I thought. It was too late. The knot in my stomach started tightening again at the thought of Malcolm in the shower, naked and aroused. A warmth spread from the pit of my stomach downward. You're flattering yourself. I rolled over, away from the bathroom and tried to think of other things. Things that had nothing to do with the ship's (wet) tactical officer.

It wasn't working. I couldn't drag my thoughts away from him. I heard the shower stop. My stomach fluttered nervously. I had to decide if I wanted to talk to Malcolm or let the whole thing go and forget about it. I heard the bathroom door open and he padded out to the sleeping room. The cot creaked as he sat down. I blinked, frozen. I was certain he could hear my heart pounding within my chest.

"Hoshi?" whispered Malcolm.

I said nothing. Maybe he'd think I'd fallen asleep. I could get us out of this yet.

"Hoshi, if you're thinking half as much as I am about this then I know full well you're not asleep."

Rats. Apparently Malcolm knows me better than I give him credit for. I rolled over and lay on my back, staring at the ceiling again. I sighed again, not quite daring to speak or even look at him.

"I think I owe you an apology," Malcolm said, rather hoarsely. "I'm not sure what came over me but it was quite inappropriate." He wouldn't even look at me.

I scowled at the ceiling. He regrets it already. I should have known better than to get my hopes up. I turned to face him, a burning ember of anger replacing any kind of embarrassment I may have been suffering from. I propped myself up on an elbow and glared at him.

"Inappropriate?" I questioned. "As an officer or as a gentleman?"

He blinked at me then, taken aback by my sudden boldness. Malcolm opened his mouth and shut it again, his eyes darting wildly around the room. He swallowed and looked at me, visibly steeling himself for this talk.

"You know...I know senior officers are not allowed to fraternize with subordinates," he sputtered, trying desperately to rationalize. "I lost my head. I caved in momentarily." His gaze dropped from mine.

"Malcolm, I *am* a senior officer! Just because you outrank me doesn't necessarily mean you're fraternizing with a subordinate," I justified.

"I'm your superior, Hoshi," he said quietly.

I flopped onto my back again, frustration grabbing hold of me. "You're only my superior when the captain and T'Pol and Commander Tucker are all off the ship at the same time," I said. "And how often does that happen?"

Malcolm didn't answer me right away and the silence in the room was almost overwhelming. I had to continue while I still had the nerve.

"Why'd you do it, Malcolm, if you didn't want to? You can't just kiss a woman on her belly like you did and storm off to the bathroom leaving her hanging. And then you come back in here and you try to tell me it was wrong! It sure didn't feel wrong!"

"I never said I didn't want this, Hoshi! God, you can't imagine how much I want..." Malcolm's voice trailed off. I turned my head and looked at him. He was looking up at the ceiling, trying to find his words there. "I want you more than anything in my pathetic life. I just...I didn't think it would be reciprocated. I panicked." Malcolm slumped forward, his head in his hands.

I sat there, stunned. How could he think I didn't want him? There was certainly more to this man than met the eye.

"You're not pathetic, Malcolm," I said, my tone softening.

A derisive snort came from him, his head still in his hands. "Hoshi, you have no idea what kind of man I am. You wouldn't want the baggage that I come with. I'm not good at this kind of thing."

"What kind of thing? Having a relationship? Falling in love?" I asked.

"I don't fall in love. I fall in bed, get my snog and leave before the sun comes up," he said bitterly, not looking up. "I am incapable of getting close to anyone."

I got up and crept over to his cot. I sat down next to him. Tentatively, I put my arm around his bare shoulders. He flinched at my touch and started to lean away from me. I pulled him back.

"What are you so afraid of, Malcolm?" I asked gently. I felt his frame begin to tremble.

Malcolm's hands rubbed at his face, his head turned away from me. I squeezed his shoulder, waiting.

"Myself," he whispered quietly. I could barely hear him.

I didn't know what to say so I decided to act instead. I closed my eyes, leaned in and brushed my lips against his in a soft kiss.

I heard him gasp and try to pull away. I held on and kissed him again. Malcolm didn't try and pull away this time. He covered my hands in his and leaned into me, deepening the kiss. His hands slid down my arms to my sides as he pulled me closer. He suddenly broke the kiss, burying his face in my neck, holding me tight.

I paused. Was he about to cry? I can't let him do this. After a few moments, I untangled myself and stood up. "We've got a big day tomorrow, Malcolm. Let's get some sleep." I hoped it didn't sound too awkward.

I returned to my cot and pulled the blanket over me. I could hear Malcolm situate himself in his own bed.

"Thank you, Hoshi," he said quietly.

I smiled in the darkness. Maybe this would work out yet.

FINIS

Author Notes: We're really, really liking this Malcolm/Hoshi thing. More than likely this will become a series. However, due to a full plate of fic to write, we're pausing this one for a while. You may check out a sneak preview of a fun story (that's become our favorite one so far) at the Pecan Pie Chronicles:

http://fic_ship.tripod.com

To everyone who has been following our writings, we humbly thank you!!! We're completely addicted and will try to get out as many stories as we can!