Our Older Years
A/N I do not own TMNT, but I am forever grateful for their existence!
Chapter 2: Coming Out of the Pantry
"Holy shit!" Raphael hissed as he flung his sai into his belt before lunging himself across the apartment to the window, but when he opened it, a ferocious maelstrom ripped through causing April to run up beside him and slam it back closed.
Covering her phone April snapped, "Raphael, there is no way you're going out there! You're a reptile remember? You'll freeze to death in five minutes!"
"Thanks for reminding me." He glowered at her as another knock came from the door with Robyn calling from the other side, "April!?" As April redid her bra, Raphael's eyes skirted from one corner of the tiny apartment to another. His huge body was feeling more and more cumbersome by the second, "Where the hell am I supposed to go then?"
April raised her phone and almost calmly replied, "Uh just a sec Robyn. I'll be right there!" She then hung up the phone and grabbed his hand dragging him to the kitchen.
He tried not to snarl as she thrust open her very tiny pantry, "You have got to be fucking kidding me."
"Look, just stay in there until I get her in the bathroom." She began futilely shoving at his carapace to direct him towards said hiding spot, "Then you can use the hall and call one of your brothers for a pick-up."
Not letting her move him an inch, he looked over his shoulder at her struggling form, "I ain't gonna fit in there, April."
Another series of knocks came from the doorway, "You don't have a choice!"
Finally he took a step forward, "You owe me so big for this."
She continued to push him, "We can discuss your payment later. Get-" She grunted in effort, "In there!"
"Alright, alright, I'm going. I'm going." He spun away and carefully backed up until his carapace hit the shelves. Convinced he could go back no further he nodded to April who went to close the door. Unfortunately, as predicted, Raphael proved too big for the space for the door to close fully.
Crying in exasperation April hissed, "Can't you suck it in or something?"
"Oh I'm sorry. Is my shell in the way? Let me just take it off. Oh right," Raphael growled, "If I could do that we wouldn't be in this fucking mess!"
Azure eyes shot sparks, "Don't you start Raphael!"
"Don't I start? Don't you start!" He was growing more and more agitated, "You're not the one trying to squeeze into a damn pantry!"
"April?!" Robyn's voice echoed from the hallway again, "What are you doing in there?!"
"Welcome to the life of women and skinny jeans. If I can do it five days a week, you bloody well can do it for five fucking minutes," Securing the door in its almost closed position she spun around, "Just stay quiet and I'll try and keep her away from the kitchen.
Raphael didn't respond. Instead he grabbed the handle from his side and pulled it as close as he could to his body. After some terrific angling, he even managed to click it closed. He couldn't breathe, but right now that seemed preferable to April's temper.
He heard the front door squeak open, "About time!"
"Hey Robyn. Sorry this place was a mess. I just wanted to tidy it up a bit…"
"Didn't get very far did you?"
The sound of a coat ruffling as it was hung accompanied April's dry response, "Haha. Very funny."
"Awe don't be upset with me, Ace." Footsteps indicated their movement away from the doorway, "I seriously am super grateful. I know it was last minute and all."
"Pretty presumptuous to call from my apartment building." The words themselves sounded harsher than April's tone.
"Well I knew you'd say yes…"
"Oh don't give me that face," Raphael could practically hear April's eyes rolling. He gave her the same look every time she lay her own damn puppy dog eyes on him. He wasn't sure which was worse: those or her glares. "You were right. Wait. Where are you going?"
"To get a drink." Raphael winced. April had better get her act together. "Is that a problem?"
"What?! Oh no, no not at all!" The muffled sound of socks hurrying along carpet was followed by, "You just must be so exhausted from all this flying craziness! I'll get you whatever you want!"
"You okay April? You're acting kind of weird." No shit she was. Raphael couldn't even see her and he knew April was cracking under the pressure. Mind, if he were trying to hide a giant mutant turtle in his apartment, he probably wouldn't be doing any better.
"I'm fine! I'm fine!" Not repeating every other word would still help though, "Hey why don't you use the washroom and I'll get you that drink! What do you want? I have water, beer, milk, cranberry juice…"
"I already went at the airport." Of course she did. The only person in the world who enjoyed public washrooms had to make their visit tonight. "A cup of tea would be good."
"Oh you don't want tea!"
What the fuck was April doing? Get her to drink enough and Robyn would have to take a piss eventually!
Then it hit him.
Where did April keep her tea?
Right.
The pantry.
She had to keep it in the pantry. Well that was it. They were screwed.
April continued to titter on in her nervous high-pitched voice, "The caffeine this late will keep you up all night!"
"Meh. You know me. I'm pretty much immune to caffeine. Besides I'm sure you must have some herbal." They did. It was currently digging into the back of his thigh.
"Nope. Nope. Just straight black super-caffeinated tea! How about I get you some nice cranberry juice instead?"
Yep, that was his girlfriend: The Queen of Smooth.
"April you know I hate that stuff."
"No you don't!"
"Yes I do." Raphael did not like how close those footsteps were getting. He also did not like how his right arm was starting to fall asleep crammed up next to the brown sugar and baking flour. "Look, don't worry. I can make it myself. Where do you keep it? The pantry?"
Raphael thought his heart would lurch right out of his chest. Slowly and silently, he wrapped his left hand around the doorknob. He would use brute strength to stay in his canned good asylum if necessary. The sound of April skidding over the checkered linoleum that decorated the kitchen was followed by a bang against the door. He braced himself, "Seriously? What is wrong with you?"
Mentally he relaxed every-so-slightly. Robyn wasn't the person against the door. That brief moment of relief quickly died when April's near hysterical voice leaked out, "Uh… Well you see…" No. No. No. April, NO! What was she doing? "It's kind of complicated."
"I'm listening." Frig Robyn sounded like April when she was pissed.
"Ok, so hear me out because it's all kind of crazy…" Oh shit. She was doing it. She was actually going to tell Robyn right here and now. "Um do you remember that one time I brought you to the lab…? You know, before the fire?"
At least the mention of such a traumatic event had cooled Robyn slightly, "Yeah?"
"Do you remember the turtles?"
"Yeah. What about them?"
"Well uh…" Raphael could hear April inhale from his side of the door, "What if I told you what they were giving to those turtles was some kind of… mutagen… and that it actually did change them? And I mean not just a little. A lot. As in it turned them into six-foot-tall giant talking turtles who actually helped save the city in the spring when the Sacks' Tower fell. Oh and Sacks was trying to use them to make a super drug to take over the world.
"Anyway, after saving the city – they're ninja by the way – the turtles and I became friends and I kind of started to get close to one of them and his name is Raphael. Remember he almost bit you? Don't worry he doesn't bite anymore… Well he bites, but not in a bad way, in a good uh… sexy way…"
Oh Lord… She did not just say that… If he had the room to move he would have smacked his palm over his face.
"Uh…" April's voice ramped up to Pentium speed as her nerves continued to obviously wreak havoc on her brain, "Anyway, we're dating now and he had to stay the night because he's cold blooded, but then you came and we hoped to sneak him out but we couldn't and then he had to hide in the pantry but now you're here and you want a cup of tea and he's in there and you might freak when you see him. Well you probably will – I did – but anyway he's really nice and I really like him and please don't hate me and please give him a chance because I really really like him. Even love him in fact."
Wow. He was speechless. If there was a right way to tell the story of their origins that was not it. Apparently Robyn was just as unimpressed as he was, "April, are you really trying to tell me that not only is there a giant turtle in your pantry, but he's a world-saving turtle that you're dating?"
April's voice now came from near the sink. "Yes."
"Right…" Robyn snorted, "April come on. You've told some doosies in the past, but this one takes the cake. Trust me, the truth cannot be as bad as that garbage of a lie."
"It's not a lie!" Raphael felt his heart squeeze at the pain in April's voice. Robyn had really hit a nerve.
"Give me a break April!" Robyn reacted to her sister's sorrow with anger. Oh how Raphael could relate to that, "You've never kept anything big from me for long and this is obviously eating you. So stopping being stupid and just tell me the truth!"
"B-but I…"
Oh that was it. Fuck. Raphael didn't give a shit if he gave Robyn a hernia. April had been through enough thanks to him and his brothers, she didn't need her family thinking she was a liar on top of it.
Focusing on his own anger, to block out his own nerves, Raphael turned the handle and in one quick movement had the door open to have him and every ounce of his mutant reptilian self on display in the incandescent kitchen light. Folding his arms over his plastron he growled, "She ain't lying."
Robyn was a couple of inches taller than April, but Raphael still towered over her. Like April, she was slender, but she had a little more in the hips and shoulders. Her red hair was the same shade he remembered and it was messily thrust up into a ponytail. She wore glasses that did her narrow face and blue eyes justice. There was no doubt that she was related to April, but that still didn't keep his temper from simmering near the surface as he silently dared her to laugh again.
For several seconds, her eyes just continually bounced over every inch of his green scaly skin and rough monstrous shell. Despite feeling violated by her staring, Raphael refused to stand any less than his full height. She wanted the truth, then she got the truth. Eventually Robyn squeaked, "You had a giant talking turtle in your pantry."
Before he could hurl his own choice insult back, April regained herself and strode over to hold his left hand, "He has a name. Robyn meet Raphael. Raphael meet Robyn."
Inwardly he was immensely grateful to no longer be standing alone, "Not really meeting," he grunted quietly, "We've already met."
"No way…" Robyn's voice now sounded very similar to how April's voice had during the duration of Raphael's stay in the pantry, "You're that tiny little turtle that almost bit me? The one I fed strawberries to?"
"Yeah," Raphael snorted darkly, "Bet you didn't see that one coming."
Robyn shifted nervously on the balls of her feet. "Y-you use those," she nodded at his sai, "Instead of your teeth now?"
Relaxing his frown ever-so-slightly he used his free arm to grab and twirl one of his precious blades in demonstration, "Yeah." After replacing the sai he rubbed the back of his neck, "Sorry about that by the way. Didn't know who you were and… Well…"
"I freaked you out." She replied solemnly.
"You freaked me out." Raphael nodded in confirmation, "Guess the tables are turned now."
"I promise I'll leave the biting to April," Robyn gave a tiny smile and her blue eyes flickered with something Raphael had seen many times in the past in his girlfriend's eyes.
"Good thing Mikey didn't meet her before you," He looked down at April, "Can you imagine what kind of reaction he would have had then?"
April gave a soft laugh and squeezed his hand in assurance before Robyn took a tiny step forward, "Wait. Mikey? As in Michelangelo?"
"Yes." His girlfriend nodded in confirmation, "There were four remember? Michelangelo, Raphael, Leonardo, and Donatello. Raph is the second oldest of his brothers."
Robyn tilted her head curiously, "You were all from the same clutch?"
"Don't know," Raphael shrugged, "But we were raised as brothers."
"And they're all," Robyn lifted her hand above her head and nodded to Raphael, "You know…"
Raphael's eyes narrowed, "Giant mutant freaks?"
"I didn't say that!" Robyn bristled.
"You were thinking it." Raphael snapped back.
"Excuse me? Do you want me to apologize for acting shocked that my sister's pet turtle ended up growing to be both taller than an NBA all-star and her boyfriend?" Robyn took several steps forward so that she could glare up at Raphael, "Because I won't. I deserve the right to be shocked. However, I am sorry if you interpreted said reaction as prejudice because that was never my intention. Frankly, I am too busy being blown away at the fucking miracle that's standing in front of me."
That left Raphael speechless. Robyn sensed her advantage and grabbed his free right hand and to Raphael's utmost disbelief began to shake it, "Nice to see you again, Raphael." After she released his hand, leaving Raphael to stare at it silent disbelief, Robyn turned to April, "Now if you don't mind, I really would like my damn cup of tea!"
