Title: Explaining
Author: Winter Ashby (rosweldrmr)
Disclaimer: Naruto © Masashi Kishimoto & Challenge © kakasakudrabble at LiveJournal
Rating: K+
Word Count: 500 - exactly!
Summary: It was a simple matter of rationality, so he would explain it to himself. But then she looked at him, and all the logic he could imagine couldn't explain it anymore. So he lies to himself, and lies to her. (Kakashi & Sakura)
Authors Notes: Week 16 Theme: Explaining. I like the way this turned out... (Number of times I used the word of the day - 13)


He would explain it to himself sometimes.

Explain why his hands itched to touch her hair and why he wished he could taste her lips.

But he never really believed himself away.

So he would explain why it was wrong to want her, to watch the way her hips moved with the wind and her skirt hiked up in the back.

He would explain why she was so alluring when he knew that no one could see him looking. It was because she was young, and strong, and proud, and so close to being everything he dreamed of.

But it was all a lie anyway.

So when she did catch him watching, he simply explained that she reminded him of someone he used to know.

He was becoming a better liar – he almost believed himself.

So he watched her carefully from just behind the cover of his illicit book and fractured self-control. She would be the end of his loose morals, and he only liked her more for that.

She was oblivious, or at least that's the only way he could explain why she kept coming back.

But, he couldn't explain why she looked at him like that.

Or the way her hands would lightly graze over the exposed skin of his forearms when she'd greet him, or excuse herself from his presence.

Or the way his skin would prickle under her touch.

Or the way he watched her walk away and had to suppressed the urge to call her back.

He explained to himself that he just didn't like to see her back because it was sad.

He didn't explain why it was sad. Because, damn it – he was allowed to have some secrets. Even it that meant that it was a secret he kept from himself.

But he was only lying to himself again, and much less convincing this time.

He liked the way her eyes would follow him through the dark on a moonless night. He liked the way she smelled when he caught her looking. And the way she felt when he carried her from the battle ground, battered and bloody – but alive, because she was strong and powerful. He liked the way she killed people, because she was cold and methodical. He liked the way she mirrored himself, and he didn't because she wasn't really the same person anymore.

He tried to explain that he was her superior and he wouldn't allow her to be transferred. He tried to explain to Tsunade that she was safer with him.

He tried explaining it to Sakura, because, after all, it was her life he was trying in vain to keep in the palm of his gloved hand.

She watched him with soft eyes unshed tears that threatened to spill from her tentative composure at the news of her former love's passing. She succeeded.

She didn't say a thing. He almost wished she would.

He explained to himself that she was just testing him.

And he was failing.


Foot Notes:

I think I've decided to do all the past challenges - Time is getting good reviews.

I was going to try and go in reverse order, but I think I will just skip around now...

Plus drabbles are just so much fun to write... perhaps I will try this in my Miroku & Kagome group - except from 500 - 1000 words, because 500 is too short!