They were pulling it down. The classroom in which Tomoya had spent so many happy times with Nagisa and the others…people had been taking it apart as if it had no significant value at all.
The construction workers had gone home for the day as it was drifting into late afternoon and Tomoya stared blankly at the empty site that had been barred with yellow and black tape as he walked briskly past it.
"How dare they," he muttered under his breath. "That was our place."
Will you go out with me…Nagisa?
Having only slowed his pace to get a good look at the school, Tomoya broke into a run again.
I love you, Nagisa.
The air was cold, but he hardly felt it.
So I…I wanna spend every day of my life together with you.
It seemed like he had been running for an age before he finally arrived at a bridge that stretched over a wide river. He slowed down until he finally came to a stop right in the middle of it. Placing a hand on the silver railing, he leaned over and looked down. The water below rushed past and Tomoya guessed that it would be as frosty and bitter as ice in this late winter weather.
Memories flew by like missiles in his mind. The basketball game, the play everyone helped put on, the fight he had with Youhei, Kotomi's violin recital, eating lunch with Kyou and Ryou, Tomoyo waking him up in the morning, having tea in the reference room with Yukine, Kouko and Yusuke's wedding, the dream he had about Misae and Katsuki Shima, meeting Sanae and Akio…
...deciding to talk to Nagisa for the first time.
Each moment seemed so distant now. Tomoya couldn't really even relate to them anymore. The only thing that he cared about now was getting back the one thing that was most important to him. He knew that there was only one way he could do that.
Pressing both hands against the railing, Tomoya pulled himself up onto it and placed his black shoes securely on the edge. He smiled sadly as he began to stand up.
"Wait for me…Nagisa…"
He closed his eyes, breathing out slowly.
...
Tomoya…
...
He gasped as the world suddenly faded into view. He was standing on hard ground again, in the middle of a pathway. The cherry trees were in full bloom and it seemed that the town was now soaked in the sunny rays of spring. As Tomoya gazed at the familiar scenery, he suddenly caught sight of the person standing beside him. She was wearing a plain white dress that flowed all the way to the ground and she was staring straight ahead.
"N…Nagisa…?" Tomoya covered his mouth as he choked on his own breath.
The girl in white turned her head slowly and Tomoya could see, as clear as day, Nagisa's smiling face looking up at him. Her golden eyes were lit up like shining lanterns.
Tomoya breathed in shakily, tears beginning to stream down his face as he ran to embrace his wife. Nagisa closed her eyes and placed her hands on his back to return his loving hug.
"It's really you. You're here with me right now," Tomoya held her close to him, running his hand along the back of her head.
When Nagisa remained silent, Tomoya slowly pulled away and looked down at her.
"Nagisa?"
The short angelic girl placed her hand on his arm and he let go of her as she took a few steps backwards, turning so that she was standing beside him again. She lifted her head and looked at the sloping pathway in front of them.
"It's a pretty big hill, isn't it. It'll probably take a long time to get to the top. But I think you'll manage alright," she said in a soft voice, still staring into the distance.
Tomoya turned his head to follow her gaze. "But…why would I want to go up this thing when I've got everything I need down here?"
Nagisa looked at Tomoya again, a sorry smile on her lips. "I'm afraid I won't be able to stay with you. I've got my own journey that I'll have to make soon."
"Then, I'll go with you."
"Tomoya, I've never asked you for much. But…I really need you to do this one thing for me. I need you to stay here. I need you to climb up this hill."
"But it…" Tomoya looked up the pathway and saw that the only thing at the end of it was a wall of white light. "I don't know how to."
Nagisa giggled. "Well, it's easy! You just put one foot in front of the other!"
Tomoya sighed impatiently, but then he realised how much he'd missed the cute little things she used to say and shook his head, smiling. "It's not going to be quite that simple."
Nagisa pursed her lips into another sad smile. "You'll have to start out slow, taking each step as it comes. No one's going to judge you if you choose the easy way at first. You can do whatever you need to.
"When you get about halfway up the hill, with a bit of luck, someone will come along and give you the motivation you'll need to make it to the top."
"But what's the point? What's at the top of the hill?" Tomoya turned to Nagisa, a desperate look in his eyes.
Nagisa placed her hands behind her back. "I think you'll have to wait until you get there to find out what it is. But you know, I bet it'll be something that makes you very happy."
"I can't just leave you behind, Nagisa…"
"You don't have to forget about me, Tomoya. Climbing this hill only means that you'll be letting me go and moving on."
"But Nagisa, I…I can't. You make me happy. Whatever's at the top of the hill could never make me happier than when I'm with you."
Nagisa looked down suddenly as a small, round thing nuzzled the side of her leg. She gasped quietly, bending down to pick it up. As Tomoya stared at it, he suddenly realised what it was. A pink dango, a little smaller than the plushies he had given her for her birthday. Except this one wasn't a toy. It was a real live dango. Nagisa hugged it to her chest, smiling warmly as the dango happily cuddled up to her. She looked out at the pathway ahead of them
"Fun things…Happy things…They'll all eventually change someday. But when that happens, you can't dwell on it too much. You have to go and find other fun and happy things. You're not replacing the old ones, you're just accepting that they're gone and moving on with your life. You're the one who taught me that, remember?"
Tomoya clenched his fist. "Nagisa, don't you understand? I love you more than anything in the whole world!" he stepped towards her. "And I want to spend every day of my life together-"
He gasped as he reached out to touch her, only to find that his hand went right through her arm. He raised a shaky hand to her face and her skin became slightly transparent until Tomoya pulled away.
"Nagisa…"
"You'll be okay, Tomoya. Just find whatever way's easiest for you to get at least half way up that hill by yourself. No one will think badly of you if you choose to isolate from everyone and I'm sure they'll be there for you if you need to ask them for help. But…"
The spring breeze picked up speed a little and made her hair and long white dress flutter about.
"Could you promise me one thing?"
Tomoya fought back a sob as he knew that it was nearly time for her to leave him.
"If Shio-chan is anything like me, then she'll be a sensitive little thing. If ever she needs a place to cry…Tomoya…could you promise that you'll be there and make her feel better? I'm sure her Daddy's arms will be the nicest place for her," Nagisa looked away smiling, shuffling her bare feet as she started to turn around.
A tear dripped from Tomoya's cheek and fell to the grey pavement. He nodded slightly.
"Yeah," he replied quietly.
Light pink cherry blossoms swirled around Nagisa and she closed her eyes as she started to walk away holding the dango in her arms, in the opposite direction of the hill.
"Where are you going?" Tomoya turned and tried to walk after her, but his legs refused to move.
"I'm not sure yet. But wherever it is, I hope it's a nice place… where I can eat anpan and play with the dangos all day…" Tomoya could hear the happiness in Nagisa's floaty voice.
"But wait…Nagisa. Please just stay a little longer…I'm not ready…" he reached out his hand as far as he could.
Nagisa stopped and looked back at him over her shoulder. "I want you to move on…and be happy."
She smiled for Tomoya one last time before turning to slowly continue her journey down the wide road, towards the light ahead.
"Nagisa! Wait, don't-!"
Daddy?
Tomoya's eyes widened as he heard a voice that sounded somewhat familiar, even though he didn't know who it belonged to. As he looked back at the hill, he could see a figure standing at the top of it. A girl. Even though she was standing far in the distance, he could see that she looked a lot like Nagisa, except her brown hair was much longer and she was wearing a slightly shorter white dress.
Suddenly realising that he couldn't hear Nagisa's soft footsteps anymore, he jerked his head back to look in the opposite direction. She was gone.
Daddy!
The girl at the top of the hill was calling out to him, cupping her hands around her mouth as she tried to get his attention.
Nagisa was gone now. The only option Tomoya had was to climb up the hill just as she'd asked him to. The girl standing at the top of it didn't seem like much of a goal to him, but still, he started to walk towards her. Slowly beginning his long, long upward climb.
...
The grey sky suddenly came into view and Tomoya realised that we was falling backwards. He gasped as he turned his body, trying to land without it hurting too much. He was a little more than relieved when he fell right into someone's strong arms that were able to catch him without too much effort.
"Whoa, I gotcha. It's alright."
Tomoya's feet slipped off the edge of the bridge and onto the ground. His upper body was being supported by the person who was holding him. He looked up to see who it was.
"Don't scare us like that, kid," Akio stared down at him seriously.
Tomoya rubbed his dizzy head and pushed himself to get up on his own.
"Are you okay, Tomoya? You were standing there on the edge of the bridge for so long and you didn't respond when we tried to talk to you," Sanae walked up to stand with Akio, a worried look on her face.
Tomoya shook his head. "Yeah, I'm alright. Sorry."
Ushio turned over in Sanae's arms, giggling as she caught sight of her daddy. She gurgled her unintelligible baby talk and reached out to him with her short arms. Tomoya tried not to take any notice of her.
"So, what are you gonna do now?" Akio spoke up again.
Tomoya stared down at his feet and stayed silent for a while. "I'm not sure yet. I might need a while to figure it all out."
"No one's rushing you, Tomoya. You can take as long as you need," Sanae smiled understandingly.
"If you don't mind…could you look after Ushio for a while? It's just, I'm really in no state to…"
"Of course. Don't worry, we'll take good care of her," Sanae gazed down lovingly at the baby in her arms.
"Thanks. I appreciate it." Tomoya looked up at Sanae and Akio with a soft, but slightly sad expression before turning and walking away.
"Hey, kid!" Akio called after him.
Tomoya stopped and looked back at his father-in-law.
"Take care of yourself, alright?"
"Yeah…..I will."
Sanae took Ushio's little hand and waved it up and down gently. "Bye, Daddy," she spoke in a high-pitched voice, pretending that the baby was talking.
Tomoya swallowed hard, not knowing what emotions he was supposed to feel. He forced a small smile, moving his feet slowly to continue walking, heading for home.
For five years, Tomoya lived a miserable life all on his own. He let work consume most of his day and he spent any free time he had gambling his money away and drowning his troubles in alcohol and cigarettes. As he walked up that steep hill in his mind, slowly moving on from the person he had left at the bottom of it, he started to wonder if his long and tiring journey was ever going to end. But one day, everything changed when Sanae called him and convinced him to go on a family trip. When he arrived at the Furukawa house, he found that both Sanae and Akio had gone and he was left alone with little Ushio, now five-years-old.
It was hard at first. Almost everything about Ushio reminded him of Nagisa and the time and energy he had spent trying to let her go. But little by little, Tomoya started to form a strong bond with his daughter, eventually realising the horrible mistake he had made in not allowing her to be a part of his life for so long.
Those last few steps were the easiest to take and a wave of happiness filled his heart as Tomoya finally reached the top of the hill, affectionately embracing the girl who had been standing there, calling out to him. He could see it clearly now. A new love to fill the hole in his heart. All this time, it had been Ushio waiting at the top of that light covered hill for her daddy to reach her. And now that Tomoya had finally found happiness in his life, he wanted to hold onto her forever.
And never let her go.
