Chapter 2 - Boys

Several heads turned and looked when Jasmine Potter charged into the Gryffindor common room, but few thought much of it. Jasmine had been involved in so many strange events over the past three years that odd behavior had come to be expected of her. By the time she hit the stairs to the girls' dormitory, they had already turned back to their work or conversations.

All but one.

Assured that she need not wait for her friend after class, Hermione Granger had returned straight to the Gryffindor dormitory while Jasmine was held back by Professor McGonagall. She had intended to get a start on her Charms essay before heading to lunch, but for some reason her mind refused to focus on the task and instead kept returning to thoughts about the upcoming Yule Ball which McGonagall had announced at the end of the day's Transfiguration lesson.

I wonder what style dress I'd look best in...

Dress? Style? What? Hermione had never been much of a "girly" girl. She didn't care about makeup and hair care products. She had never been to any sort of ball, she had never been dancing, and quite frankly had never expected to be asked out on a date. She was focused on her school work and, being practical-minded, figured that no wizard would be very interested in a plain, bossy, muggleborn girl with impossible hair and overly large teeth.

Other witches might dream about dresses and dates and romance, but Hermione ruthlessly suppressed all such thoughts because she had concluded that it was better to avoid having hopes if she was only going to be disappointed anyway. It might have been a rather lonely existence, if it weren't for the close relationship she'd developed with Jasmine Potter.

So why did she keep thinking about the Yule Ball? That didn't make any sense, and Hermione hated things which didn't make sense. She hated them almost as much as she hated distractions from doing her homework, which meant she was doubly already annoyed when she was interrupted by the sight of Jasmine racing through the common room and up to the fourth year girls' dorm.

Well, now I have a good excuse to abandon my Charms essay as a lost cause and go find out what was wrong with Jasmine. This time. Keeping that girl safe has become a full time job. I should put in for hazard pay.

Stepping into the dorm she shared with Jasmine, Fay, Sophie, Parvati, and Lavender, Hermione didn't see anyone and considered trying one of the other dorms, but then she heard heavy breathing coming from the far side of the room. Walking carefully around the end of Jasmine's four-poster bed, she saw the girl sitting on the cold stone floor with what appeared to be a cloth bag against her face. Jasmine had her eyes closed and was taking large, full breaths in and out of the bag. Her hands were shaking and she was clearly in distress.

"Jasmine," Hermione said softly as she crouched down and reached out to the girl. "What's wrong, Jas? What happened?"

She tried to be gentle, she really did; but Jasmine was too lost in her own mind to notice what was going on around her and thus was shocked to suddenly discover someone right next to her.

"Gah!" Jasmine shouted as she practically levitated straight off the floor (and with the existence of accidental magic, it's not impossible that that's exactly what she did); unfortunately, she moved horizontally as well as vertically, hitting her head on her bedside table. It might have been funny if Jasmine weren't already in such a panicked state — she hadn't had nearly enough time to calm down yet, and when she realized that it was Hermione she was looking at, her panic only worsened.

Hermione considered the situation. Shortness of breath, shaking hands, distress, breathing into a bag... Oh, Merlin, she's having a panic attack! I'm not going to get anything out of Jasmine while she's like this. I need to get her calmed down first, then interrogate her.

"It'll be okay, Jasmine. Whatever it is, we'll get through it together like we always do. I need you to calm down. Breathe more slowly. C'mon Jas, deeper breaths." Hermione had plenty of experience dealing with the green-eyed witch after she had awoken in a panic after one of her nightmares. A soft voice and a firm embrace, sometimes combined with stroking her head, always relaxed her again so she could fall back asleep.

Not so relaxed that she doesn't get rather clingy, though, wrapping me in her arms so tightly that I can't always get back to my own bed without waking her back up. Ah, well, at least it's never so uncomfortable that I can't get to sleep myself...

Hermione frowned and bit her bottom lip in consternation: instead of starting to calm down like she expected, Jasmine had started shaking her head and looking at her like she was the problem.

Does she even recognize me? OK, if the gentle approach won't work, I'll be more forceful. It's not like this is the first time I've had to be aggressive with her...

Standing and turning, Hermione whipped out her wand and shot at the door the strongest silencing and privacy charms she knew. Technically they were NEWT-level spells, but Hermione had never held back when she wanted to learn something important. In the case of these charms, she had learned them fast because she had needed them to ensure privacy while she and Jasmine practiced spells and strategy in an empty classroom for the first task of the tournament.

"Jasmine! Snap out of it!" Hermione had crouched back down and grabbed her best friend by her shoulders, giving her a couple of quick, sharp shakes so the panicking auburn-haired witch could focus again. These actions received a more positive reaction as Jasmine blinked slowly a few times and started breathing deeply. Progress!

After a few deeper, longer breaths, though, Jasmine started to physically curl in on herself. No! Don't do that! Sometimes Jasmine could be so introverted that she made Hermione look like a party girl, and when she turned inward like this, it was hard to get her to open up again.

"Don't tune me out like that, Jasmine," Hermione said as she moved her hand to cup the other girl's cheek and lift her head up to face her. Brown eyes meeting green, she continued, "Whatever is going on has to be bad if it's got you reacting like this — you weren't this bad even after learning that you'd have to face a dragon in the first task. Whatever it is, though, you know I'll be here to help, just like I've always been. You need to tell me the problem so we can work on it together."

Under any other set of circumstances, this would have instantly calmed Jasmine down and helped her to start talking. This time, however, it had almost the opposite effect. Fortunately the deep breathing had already started reversing the panic attack, despite the absence of a paper bag. Her vision had begun to sharpen again, her heart wasn't pounding in her ears anymore, and Jasmine could start thinking clearly again.

"I'm sorry, Hermione." Talking came slowly because she still felt the need to take deep breaths. "I know you want to help." Deep breath. "But you can't this time."

"Let me be the judge of that, Jasmine. I haven't turned my back on you yet and I don't intend to start now. Tell me what's wrong. What could have possibly happened between the end of Transfiguration and now? What did Professor McGonagall say to you that has you in such a state? Did something happen to Sirius? Is it the tournament? Is something wrong with the magical contract? Is it your grades? You're not being expelled are you? What could be so bad that you'd react like this?" Now that Jasmine was calming down, Hermione was getting herself worked up.

Merlin, that girl has a set of lungs on her if she can say all that without once stopping to breathe! "No, Hermione, you don't understand. You can't do anything this time," Jasmine said a bit more sharply than she intended as she suddenly stood up and moved away, putting some distance between herself and her friend.

Freak.

"I don't see how anyone can help me, Hermione. And I don't know what I'm going to do..."

Unnatural.

"Don't be ridiculous, Jasmine. Surely someone can help, even if it's not me. I don't understand why you're acting this way. Why can't you at least tell me what the problem is, even if you don't think I can help?" Hermione was starting to worry even more now. Jasmine wasn't exactly an optimist, but she had never adopted such a defeatist attitude before.

Jasmine kept taking long, slow breaths. Her panic attack had subsided now, but she was worried that another might strike if she didn't stay calm. She had wanted to find a safe, private place to ride the attack out; now that her privacy had been lost, she felt that the safety had also been compromised. Normally she went to Hermione to feel safer, so this only added to her distress.

Abnormal.

"Jasmine?" Hermione asked in a soft voice while leaning closer again. "Please? I only want to help. I don't want you to feel like I'm pressuring you, but I hate seeing you like this. When you're this upset, I get upset. You're my best friend, Jas, and you know I'd do anything to keep you safe."

Drawing in a deep, ragged breath, Jasmine knew she wasn't going to get away. Hermione was tenacious when it came to something or someone she cared about — at least, that was the positive way to put it. If one weren't feeling charitable, one would say that Hermione simply didn't know when to mind her own business. And both versions were true — it was one of the things she found both endearing and annoying about the bushy-haired witch.

Why would anyone ever love a freak like you?

"It's the Yule Ball, Hermione."

Hermione blinked a couple of times at this revelation. "The Yule Ball? You mean, the ball that was just announced? What could you possibly have learned about the ball that would upset you this much? And why were you told but not the rest of us?"

Jasmine folded her arms across her chest in a defensive posture and turned slightly away from the other girl. "Professor McGonagall held me back after class today to tell me that it's 'tradition' for champions to open the ball with a dance. So even though I'm not a real champion since I'm not representing any school, I'm still required to get a date and attend so I can be put on display in front of everyone!" Unfortunately, saying this out loud only served to make the situation more real to her, and Jasmine could feel the first stirrings of panic start to take hold again.

Why do you impose your freakishness on normal people? We don't want you.

Hermione felt an unfamiliar pressure surrounding her and suddenly realized that it was a magical pressure — and it was coming from Jasmine! Only then did she recognize that she had felt the same pressure when she entered the dorm and that it must be a symptom of Jasmine's panic attacks, which meant that a new attack was starting. While one part of her mind perked up at this new information and was eager to learn more about it, another became confused.

Nobody wants you. You'll never date, marry, or do any of the things normal people do.

"I don't understand, Jasmine. I know that getting a date might be stressful, but it'll be much worse for the boys since they're expected to do the asking. And it's not like you have to be worried that no one will ask you — even if you weren't the Girl Who Lived and a Triwizard Champion, you're still more than pretty enough to attract a guy. You're certainly more likely to be asked than I am..." Hermione tried to keep her voice neutral when she said this, but she couldn't quite avoid sounding slightly bitter at the end.

Jasmine was too wrapped up in her own problems to notice, though. "No, Hermione, you don't understand. It's not being asked by some random, annoying prat that worries me..." Deep breath... in and out... focus on that weird spot on the wall... don't think about where this conversation is going...

"Well, are you worried that you won't be asked by the boy you like? You've never mentioned anyone, not that we've ever talked about boys, but it still might not be that big of a problem. I don't know what wizarding traditions have to say about a girl asking a boy out on a date, but if anyone can get away with it, I'm sure you can. Tell you what, I'll help you find a way to corner him somewhere private and you can ask. What's the worst that can happen? Wait, it's not someone gross — it's not Malfoy, is it?"

"What? Eww! No! Whatever gave you the idea...? No, don't tell me — I don't want to know. Just... no." On the positive side, my panic attack seems to have subsided. On the negative side, I think I just threw up a little in my mouth. Progress?

Hermione had to roll her eyes at that. "Then what's the problem, Jas? If it's not someone like Malfoy that you want to ask, you should be able to get away with it, even if there are old-fashioned wizarding taboos against it. I can't imagine any boy saying no. Some might say 'yes' to you even if they already have a date."

Could Hermione possibly make this any harder on her? She simply wanted to end this conversation and maybe forget that this day ever happened, but Jasmine couldn't think of any way to do that without saying things that she never wanted to admit to herself, never mind admit aloud to someone else.

We don't want you infecting any of us with your abnormalities. Hopefully you'll never breed.

"No, Hermione, there isn't any boy that I want to ask to the Yule Ball." There, maybe that'll shut her up...?

The more Jasmine explained, the more confused Hermione became. "I still don't understand," her friend responded. "If you're not worried about asking someone yourself, what are you worried about? What has you so panicked? You're sure to get dozens of boys asking you to the ball. I don't see the problem."

Jasmine could feel her control start to slip again as her breathing quickened. Her desire to run, to escape, caused her stand and fidget. Not here, not now. This wasn't supposed to happen.

Feeling the magical pressure increase once again, Hermione stood up as well and stepped even closer to her friend in an effort to help at least prevent her from panicking more. "Jasmine?" she asked. She wanted to wrap the girl in a hug, but suspected that that might be counterproductive for some reason.

"The problem, Hermione, is that I don't want to be asked by dozens of boys. I don't want to be asked by any boys. There isn't a single boy in this castle that I want to go to any ball with!"

"What? I don't understand, Jasmine..."

FREAK!

"I DON'T LIKE BOYS!"