Snowcrystal of ThunderClan, welcome to the Shadowleaf series, you will appear this chapter!

Guys, I really need more OC's, so please use the form on the first chapter so your cats can be random and unleash full stupidity on the Shadowleaf series. MAGNUM BLUE STEEL FARRARI LATIGRA THEY'RE ALL THE SAME FACE DOESN'T ANYONE SEE THAT?! Tysm.

Let's begin!

"Yawn," meowed Firestar, patting Dapplekit on her head.

Lilypaw had practically fallen asleep in her chair. Shadowleaf had tied the two older cats to fancy pieces of furniture and had been berating them for half an hour due to the failure of the first episode of the Shadowleaf Series.

"YOU RUINED MY FABU MASTERPIECE!" they grey tabby screamed at them for the 83rd time. "IF YOU MUCK UP ANOTHER EPISODE, YOU THREE, I SWEAR I WILL UNLEASH THE POWER OF THE CUPCAKES UPON YOU. YOU RUINED MY FABU MASTERPIECE!"

The 84th time.

"That's terrifying," mewed Dapplekit without gusto, who was sitting on Firestar's head, enjoying the pats.

Shadowleaf closed her eyes for a moment and spoke normally. "If this show fails, I will ask Dapplekit to torture you. Even if she is no longer a drug addict or an alcoholic, she is still crazy and will not hesitate to bring out the worst in you. She's on my side. Isn't that right, Dapplekit?"

Dapplekit ignored the producer and leapt down from Firestar's head. She found a fish flopping on the ground and decided to torture it.

"I'll take that as a yes, then. Destroy that fish," mumbled Shadowleaf, slowly turning away from the kit.

"Don't even ask," growled Lilypaw, closing her eyes so she couldn't see the fish's torture.

"I wasn't going to. Now, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH DAPPLEKIT?!" screeched Shadowleaf, crouching in front of the apprentice.

"Honestly, am I now the only sane one in the studio?" snapped Lilypaw, kicking Shadowleaf in the face.

"Oh! I forgot to tell you three something important. We'll be having a visit from a guest at some random point during episode 2. Hopefully, this cat will be as insane as you and as sane as I am."

"Can I go home now?" squeaked Dapplekit, a dead fish lying at her paws.

"Use the Meep Machine to make a rubber chicken," ordered Shadowleaf, who then proceeded to scream at Leafsky, who was being attacked by Lionblaze.

"GET HIM OFF ME!" Leafsky yowled, the beige carpet ripped up beneath her paws.

Lionblaze was begging to kiss her. "Leafsky," he whispered. "I know I did you wrong, but… Love me."

"THAT'S JUST A RANDOM OWL MEME OFF THE INTERNET," wailed Leafsky, but her eyes had changed from hostile to curious.

"Call in Ferncloud's kits!" sighed Shadowleaf. "They'll get Leafsky alone with Lionblaze."

"Nooooooooooooooooooooo!" screamed Leafsky, holding the idiot tom closer. "Please no!"

"Ahhh no…." Leafsky mewed, kissing Lionblaze willingly. "Get him away."

The pale green and brown chlorine-infested she-cat purred, rubbing her nose against Lionblaze's.

"It took 21 seconds for Leafsky to fall for Lionblaze. What does that tell you, folks?" sobbed Bluefoot, who had started Episode 2 of the Shadowleaf series without the producer's permission. A picture of Leafsky, smiling up at Bluefoot, flashed up on the screen. The screen produced the caption "Love at first sight, that, like, wasn't love at first sight". A scream was heard from the glass room above the stage as Bluefoot tried to get control of the traitorous TV.

"A REBELLION IN MY STUDIO?! IT'S PERFECT!" shrieked Shadowleaf, shooting Birchkit, who had appeared first and was trying to build a 5-star hotel for Leafsky and Lionblaze.

"I forgot Shadowleaf had a Makarov pistol," he laughed, and died.

A wave of Spiderkits and Icekits overwhelmed Shadowleaf a few moments later.

"HOW MANY MINDLESS CLONES DO YOU HAVE?" the pretty ShadowClan cat shouted over the tide of kithood terror, which, 5 seconds later were all lying dead on the studio floor with their leaders making paint-flavoured tea at the Meep Machine.

"You shouldn't've exposed them to the Meep Machine," Lilypaw said matter-of-factly, clawing at her rope bonds.

"Unbelievable business, chap," scoffed Spiderkit, drinking his bitter, globby tea.

Shadowleaf giggled and pushed everyone onto the stage. She pushed Bluefoot, even though he was in the studio. Lilypaw and Firestar were crushed by their chairs as Shadowleaf kicked them onto the flashing stage. Icekit and Spiderkit made a new Birchkit-"RISE, YOU HAVE BEEN DUBBED SIR BIRCHKIT," mewed the white she-cat-and transferred themselves to the garbage abyss.

"Thank God, I'm getting sick of those unbeatable kits. I can't believe they'd eat paint!" Shadowleaf made a paint cupcake. "Scrumptious."

Lilypaw untied the rope that bound her to the black leather chair and ditched Firestar. "I know that in the movies you would free your allies but this is real life, so I'm going to leave you tied to that chair."

She cackled and leapt behind a huge light decoration.

Firestar wailed, and, even though he had been tied up with his paws free and had been patting Dapplekit, gave up trying to get loose. Shadowleaf shot Firestar with her Makarov as shrews rained from the ceiling. Firestar survived and Shadowleaf screamed, "NOT AGAIN!" as her secret stash was compromised.

"FRISBEE TEAM, DEPLOY AND RETRIEVE THE SHREWS!" the tabby shrieked to an empty cardboard box with Frisbee Team written on it.

"Shadowleaf, we don't have a Frisbee Team. We're waiting for Disa to recruit OCs for the Frisbee Team," Bluefoot mewed. "I even made an advertisement with words and footage, some of it unseen, from Disa's other stories. I hope our…"

Bluefoot checked Disa's FanFiction account.

"One follower, Snowcrystal of ThunderClan, is watching!"

"Oh, Snowcrystal isn't watching… Mua… Hua… HUAHUAHUA!" screamed Shadowleaf.

"She's in that cage over there," meeped Dapplekit.

"Sup, Snowcrystal! You're our first competitor. But watch this advertisement."

Snowcrystal nodded, her fur unkempt. "Can I please leave?"

"But we haven't started the competition yet," giggled the producer, nodding to Bluefoot.

The advertisement flashed up on the screen.

Hollyleaf walks into the BrambleSquirrel backyard, screaming "BRAMBLECLAW IS TAYLOR LAUTNER!"

Midnight the badger gives out salt-shakers.

Gorsepaw kills Ashpaw.

Birchstep blogs her newest detective's findings to Birchsteps fantasy world in a British accent, even though she was only typing. "I discovered today that the murderer is ********. This merciless killer sees the need to kill for personal gain and my brother so I must remain vigilant as a young detective and present my proof to the leader of RockClan before this killer chooses and executes its next victim. Also, if you want a rock fountain, contact Emberclaw on SCAM 0011."

Silverpaw is on her phone, sending a file to Bluestar. Bluestar opens it a heartbeat later and dies when the words "YOU GOT RICK ROLLED" flash up on her Ipad. "CURSES, THAT SILVERPAW GOT ME AGAIN!" screams the ThunderClan leader, patting Firepaw on the head. "Go and get the bazooka, son. I've got a bone to pick with RiverClan."

Sedge and Nova fall off a cliff and are speared by spikes of rock. A director yells "CUT" and clones of Sedge and Nova are introduced to the scene.

"How in StarClan's name was that an advertisement? It was just scenes from Disa's previous FanFictions that were turned into movies."

"No. No they weren't. This was my year 12 high school art project. I got the top grade for my Film and Media subject."

"Shadowleaf, how old are you?" asks Snowcrystal.

"I have no idea, but I think I'm 52."

"ANYWAYYYY," screams Firestar. "WE HAVE A COMPETITION TO INITIATE. RELEASE SNOWCRYSTAL!"

Snowcrystal tumbles out of her cage. "If you want me to compete, why did you drug me with mild moose tranquilisers a few hours earlier? I feel like crap."

"It's just the way these competitions work," mews Lilypaw sympathetically.

"BEGIN!" hisses Shadowleaf. "Or the only place you'll be comforting competitors is the GARBAGE ABYSS. With my red velvet cupcakes, by the way."

"That doesn't sound so bad," scoffs Snowcrystal. "It's not so easy to threaten these cats with ideas like that."

Shadowleaf ignores the competitor and turns back to her script, repeatedly whispering "Shit" for no reason.

"Shadowleaf, our microphones are very sensitive. I can hear you," Bluefoot announces through the speaker system.

":D" flashes up on the giant TV screen.

"WHO REALLY CONTROLS THIS THING?!" screams Bluefoot, fighting to regain control.

"SOOOOOOOOOO," yells Firestar. "WHO WANTS TO COMPETE IN OUR YEE TOURNAMENT?! NOTE THAT PRESENTERS CANNOT COMPETE LOLOL."

"It's called the AYY Tournament, Firestar, "grumbles Shadowleaf. "I can't believe his name is better than mine."

"Um. I'll compe-" begins Leafsky, emerging from her hotel room with Lionblaze.

"PERFECT. LEAFSKY IS COMPETING. GET RID OF YOUR SEX GOD AND COME OVER HERE."

Bluefoot, sobbing over his lost love, shines a light onto Leafsky, who awkwardly walks onto the stage to stand beside Snowcrystal.

"Anyone else?" meeps Dapplekit, poking the eyes of a live fish out with a needle.

"I will," grunts Lionblaze. "For my bae."

No light shines on Lionblaze's noble golden pelt. Instead, Bluefoot exits the 'control-room-that-is-controlled-by-a-mysterious-force-other-than-Bluefoot', tumbles down the stairs and stand beside Lionblaze.

"I'll compete. I've left Icekit and Birchkit in charge. Icekit knows a bit about technology from our last episode."

In the studio, Icekit grins evilly and plays back all her kithood videos.

Icekit builds a remote and a portal to teleport Dapplekit, Lilypaw and Firestar to the studio.

Icekit is operating a train to pick up the drug-addicted Dapplekit.

Icekit holds a kindergarten degree for building the Meep Machine.

Icekit has a contract with the company that built Shadowleaf's studio.

Icekit is the company that built the studio.

Icekit creates Dustpeltfaces.

Icekit helps EAU Ferncloud set up a security system.

Icekit builds a chocolate castle.

"In other words," mewed Bluefoot. "Icekit is an evil genius."

"No one cares that Icekit could easily take over the show or the world," hissed Shadowleaf. "Continue the episode."

"I volunteer as tribute," meows Cody, suddenly appearing and raising three toes.

"Not you again. I wanted Flamepaw," admitted Lilypaw. "I was going to kill him, but he and Cinderpaw started an academy for creative assassins. And we need a final competitor."

Cody disappears and so does Shadowleaf, screaming at an unseen force. Shadowleaf then appears on the stage beside the Tigerstar-look-alike and sits there, muttering about cupcakes.

"AND WE HAVE OUR FINAL COMPETITOR. I FEEL COMPELLED TO SHOUT EVERYTHING TODAY!" yowls Firestar.

"Okay. We'll have two teams of 3. I will share the rules with you in a minute. Get into groups now."

Leafsky immediately pulls Lionblaze closer in the back seat of her rover that she can't afford like that tattoo on her shoulder because she is cheap. She smiles at Bluefoot and he walks over uncertainly.

"We have a sympathiser, strength and brains team!" meows Dapplekit.

"LIAR", "SEX GOD" and "LOSER" flashes up on the screen. Icekit squeals with delight and adds "TEAM 74."

Someone screams in agony. "I HATE 74!"

Cody, Shadowleaf and Snowcrystal angrily joined together.

"BOX", "GUN LADY" and "NAMELESS COMPETITOR THAT ACTUALLY HAS A NAME" appears on the screen.

"Thanks, Icekit. I hope these names will affect all of our competitors psychologically for the duration of their lives." Shadowleaf nods approvingly as "TEAM EPIC BOSSES" appears on the screen.

"I'm a very happy cat today," meows Shadowleaf. "I could almost throw away this Makarov to find another thing that makes me happy. But I'm not going to."

"LET THE COMPETITION BEGIN!" screams Firestar, stroking his chair.

"What qualities do you two have that will help us win the Yee Competition?" Snowcrystal asks, trembling.

"I can teleport myself, other people, boxes and cakes. I'm your go-to celebration cat. Or hitman," mews Cody.

"I AM THE YEE COMPETITION! OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" yowls Shadowleaf.

"In other words, you can cheat and not get caught," finishes Snowcrystal.

"Oh… Yes… guess… That's it…" mumbles Shadowleaf.

"Okay! Team bonding time is now over! Time to tell you the rules and the basics of the game!" squeals Lilypaw, winking to the TV.

In the control room, Birchkit falls over a wire.

"I forgot I could die from many things," he laughs, and dies.

"Get it started, Spiderkit," mews Icekit. "while I clone Birchkit again."

Back in the studio, the rules have flashed up on the screen in big flashing letters that anyone could read, but Firestar shouts them out anyway.

"THE YEE COMP-" he begins, but Lilypaw opens a trapdoor and he falls into the garbage abyss.

"The Yee Competition is a sports competition between the guest's team and the home team. It's a combo of soccer, dodgeball and baseball. There are two teams of at least two players. If there are three or more players on each team, there will be reserves. Since we only have three per team, there are no reserves and we will ask the audience to help us out with one part!

"The game has a soccer ball, balloons filled with various substances and extreme skill. One team member must be a goalie. They have to be unstoppable!"

Lionblaze looks over at Leafsky, who nods. Bluefoot mews, "Why are we nodding?" and nods to feel included.

"In this context, Snowcrystal cannot be a goalie. Pick your goalie, Team Epic Bosses."

Cody puts Shadowleaf in a box and teleported her forward by less than a metre.

"Good choice," Snowcrystal says approvingly.

"Okay, we've got our goalies!" shrieks Lilypaw. "Your main objective is to block the ball. And a word of caution to our fielders AND our bombers. No bombs can touch the goalie. No one can enter the goal area. Any of these offenses are punishable by extreme bombing and betrayal!"

"W-W-Wait," stutters Snowcrystal. "What are bombs and bombers?"

"Ah! Bombers are members of the team or audience who get balloons filled with stuff like shaving cream, slime, glitter, all that jazz. They need to have good aim to take out the fielders. And fielders, you just get the ball to the goal guarded by the goalie of the opposite team. Sound simple?"

Snowcrystal nodded, eyes wide. "I didn't know we'd be doing this. There's protective gear, right?"

"If you count the audience having crappy aim and dodging, you definitely have protective gear."

Snowcrystal's eyes opened even wider. She whispers, "Oh shit!"

"LET THE GAMES BEGIN!" screams Firestar, emerging from his prison.