First of all, thank you all so much for reviewing/following this story. I don't consider myself a writer, I've never done this before, but I just started to write down and all of this spilled out. As long as you guys enjoy it, I will be content. Anyway, here is the second chapter! Clap if you recognize some lines in this one, ha!

Summary: It all started with flowers...
Rating: T
Disclaimer: This show ruins my frickin life and no, I don't own it.


Previously:
"Is it about your mom? Josh? I'm here Kate, you can tell me anything"

At that, Kate looks at him. Eyes filled with new tears, though not spilling out, she can only utter two words.

"Both. Everything."


Chapter 2

Everything.

"What do you mean, everything?" Castle looks at her. Kate sighs. She really didn't want all this to come up. Just because of some flowers? But how will she start this. What will she say? Is she ready to admit to things, especially to this amazing man before her? What if he agrees with these thoughts she has of herself? What if her opening up leads to him storming out that door, to never see him again.

"I.."

Castle sees the doubt in her eyes, knows she's afraid. But he also sees that she has things to say, and he wonders if this conversation will be about a lot more than just Josh. He decides to help her along, start this conversation somewhere. "Tell me about Josh."

Kate sighs again and sits straight. This is happening, this conversation is happening. And the way Castle is looking at her, the comfort, but also the encouragement, leads her into opening up to him. Another sigh comes out of her mouth and she starts "I really, really like him..." She sees the hurt flash in Castle's eyes so she rushes along "but it isn't enough." At this, Castle's face turns into confusion, a sense of curiosity and Kate knows she needs to explain. Looking down, she continues.

"After my mother was killed, something inside me changed. It's like I built up this wall inside. I don't know, I guess I just didn't wanna hurt like that again. And Josh, he feels safe. He works a lot, I work a lot, and it works for me. It works for me, because it gives me this chance to remain inside my wall. But with one foot out the door, it's hard to know where you stand. He's gone so much, we never really talk and I.. I wish that I had someone who would be there for me and I could be there for him and we could just, dive into it together."

Castle starts to open up his mouth to speak, wanting so much to say that he is there for her, that he wants to be that person for her. But Kate doesn't give him a chance and continues "And I feel I can't have that with him, and that's why, before he went off to Africa saving the world.. I broke up with him." She looks up at Castle.
"And then there's you.." A smile flashes across her face and she continues "I.. I have feelings for you Castle." she admits on a sigh "And I want so much for us to-"

Castle interrupts her "Then why can't we?" Kate turns her eyes away from him.

"I.. This wall is still inside of me. I know I'm not gonna be able to be the kind of person that I wanna be. I know I'm not gonna be able to have the kind of relationship that I want.." looking up at him, she sees the longing in his eyes and feels the same way "Until that wall comes down."

Castle never looks away from her. Reaching out, he grabs her hand and laces their fingers together, holding them on his lap. Kate doesn't fight it. But then Castle speaks "What do you mean, be the kind of person that you wanna be?"

At this, Kate's eyes start to well up again. How can she tell him this. If she does, this will probably be over. And she's so sick of all the crying. She keeps still, looking at their hands, not wanting to admit this to him.

"Kate." he says after a short time of silence "You can tell me this."

Sighing, Kate decides to give in. But being afraid, still looking down she starts to talk in a whisper "Because I want to be good enough." Castle's brows frown, his face turning into confusion.

"Good enough? What do you mean, good enough?"

Kate decides to look him in the eye. She sighs on a frustrated breath "Castle, look at me. I'm a mess. I just cried and soaked and ruined your shirt I, I'm so flawed and so broken, how can you w-want that." Voice breaking on 'that'.

Castle opens his mouth, wanting to unleash a poem of words, but closes it before saying anything. Thinking about his next approach, he shifts on the couch, lets her hand go, which scares Kate because oh god is this it? But then, he scoots closer and both his hands go up to touch her face. He cups her cheeks with both hands "Kate, look at me". Their eyes connect. Castle smiles, using both his thumbs to brush away the tears below her eyes.

Then, he chuckles "Oh Kate, you don't understand do you". He sees confusion flash in her eyes. "You know what I like most about you?" Kate gives a tiny shake of her head, rather entranced by his beautiful, crinkled blue eyes. "Your flaws" he says and Kate's eyes start to water. He continues to hold her face in his hands "You know I've had my rather fair share of relationships.." His tone screams pride and Kate can't resist but sniff and roll her eyes and he chuckles, continuing "These women I've been with have always been 'perfect', and you know what that made them?" He asks and she shakes her head, uttering a whispered "No.."

"Boring" he states and smiles. Kate lets out a breath, bringing her hands up to his that are still cupping her cheeks and holds them there, brushing her fingers over his. Castle continues "But you, Kate. You are, so full of surprises. You amaze me every day with the things I learn about you. Your flaws, it is what attracts me to you. It's what actually makes you perfect, to me. Gosh Kate, I want you to be flawed. I want you to be grumpy when I wake you at 5 in the morning by kissing your neck, after probably having had an amazing night before that I might add." which makes Kate's lips quirk up into a tiny smile "I want you to be frustrated when you've had a long hard day and you come home to me being annoying and making you even more frustrated. I want you to be mad when I don't clean up after myself. I want you to be annoyed when I only come to bed at 3AM because I was writing and you couldn't sleep without me. I want you to break down in front of me, because you miss your mother and allow me to comfort you. I want every single part of you, I want it all, Kate. I want you. I just want you."

As he breathes out the last 'you' on a sigh, Kate lets the tears, that were already threatening to spill, fall. She could not believe what she was hearing, how could he like the parts about her that make her cringe to herself? How could he want her when she's so broken and so flawed. She grabs his hands from her face, pushes them down and instead wraps her arms around him. Burying her face in his neck she starts to sob. She wants to say so much but all she can utter is "..W..why?"

Castle smiles at that and starts to stroke her hair. While inhaling her cherry scent he starts to speak "Because, Kate, I'm in love with you. Flaws and all." he adds and he hears another sob breaking out. The next couple of minutes he just holds her, soothing her by stroking her hair and uttering comforting words.

When the tears have almost been shed, Kate thinks of how content she's feeling in his arms. She feels warm, protected. Her face comes up and she looks at him "Castle, I'm scared. I don't, I don't want to screw this up with you I-"

"Don't worry." Castle interrupts her "I won't let it be screwed up."

Kate sniffs "I just don't know if I'm.. if I'm ready enough. I want to give you everything but, I just, what if I can't?"

Castle wipes away a tear that's still trailing down her cheek and offers her a warm smile "We can take things slow, Kate. I know that this wall is still inside you, and I want to be the one to break that damned thing down. It won't be there forever, not if it's up to me."

Kate releases a chuckle at that "I want you to break it down too." She whispers. She leans forward and connects her forehead with his, raising her hands, running her fingers through his hair and eventually coming around to his cheeks where she holds him "I really want this to work, Castle." She lets out on a sigh.

"Detective, it's me. Things will work." Castle says, a sense of determination in his voice, which makes Kate release a warm chuckle.

It will work.


Thanks for reading! Reviews are greatly appreciated!

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