A few minutes later, down in the parking lot they were looking at their next problem. Getting into Wilson's car.

"It's easy. I'm the cripple so you go on that climbing expedition", House explained and opened the driver's door.

Wilson climbed over the driver's seat and ended in the passenger's seat after his butt hit the horn on the steering wheel. House had to follow him a little bit so the oncologist could take his left hand with him. Finally he handed Wilson his cane and got into the driver's seat.

"So my place or yours, honey?"

Wilson shrugged. He had not thought about the consequences this game would bring along. The more he thought about it the more he liked the idea of cleaning up Cuddy's place.

"My place doesn't provide bourbon, peanut butter or porns", Wilson explained.

"So it's my place."

"But I have to get some stuff from my apartment."

"So it's my place after yours. Got it", House said and started the car.


One can hardly imagine how complicated and exhausting it can get when one person has to follow the other one all the time.

There was no "I'll wait in the car" for House when they arrived at Wilson's place. And when the oncologist decided to visit the nearby drug store for some healthy food House's kitchen would certainly not provide, the diagnostician had to come along as well. Everywhere they showed up they draw attention immediately. And it was fun watching them getting in and out of the car.

"I need some booze", House explained but Wilson shook his head.

"No way! You'll have to cut off your hand if you want to go there."

"I let you buy your stupid salad so what?"

"I won't get drunk from my salad. So forget it."

House got annoyed.

"You know you were right. We probably won't make it through the week. Question is who goes down first? I bet you'll be the one to give up."

Wilson looked confused. "Are you suggesting another bet in the middle of a bet?"

"Why not? I bet I make you give up first. You will be begging me for ending this game."

Wilson nodded. "Alright. I'm in."

"So what do you suggest as a wager?", House challenged him.

"If I win you'll take out Cuddy on a date."

House looked surprised.

"You think I would clean her house every weekend and go out on a date with her?"

Wilson shrugged. "Only if you lose."

"You know what you are enabling here?", House asked him.

"Yeah. The two of you will finally face reality."

House shook his head.

"I'll torture you to make sure you give up. I have to win this."

Wilson smiled. "Let the games begin."

"If I win you'll show up at my place every day and cook me dinner for a month", House told him.

Wilson offered his hand.

"Alright!", he said and House shook his hand to settle the deal.


Without another word House hopped on the edge of Wilson's caddy.

"What are you doing, House?", Wilson wondered.

"Annoying the hell out of you."

"You will need more than that", Wilson explained and pushed the caddy and his buddy through the drug store to find himself some more groceries.

House inspected the stuff and got rid of some of them.

"No garlic in my place!", he told Wilson and threw it in the next shelve. The carrots ended in a shelf next to some chocolates and were exchanged with some candy bars.

Wilson kept silent for the rest of the shopping trip but he got a good impression of how mothers with their annoying kids must feel.


Finally they arrived at House's place. They settled down on the couch and relaxed for a while.

"Ok", House finally started and looked at his cuffed hand. "No need to stay in this situation longer as necessary. We need some tools here."

"You know how to unlock these?", Wilson asked him.

House chuckled. "Who doesn't? We need some paper clips." He pointed at his desk behind the couch. "Over there in the top drawer."

Wilson looked at him and smiled finally. "You do realize I can't go there alone?"

House sighed. "Right."

They found their paper clips and just when House was about to start his work on the handcuffs his phone rang.

"Let it ring", House mumbled and went on. Wilson looked at the caller ID.

"It's the hospital", he told him.

"I'm busy here", House went on.

Wilson didn't care and took the phone.

"Hello?"

"Don't even think about it. Tell him to get rid of that paper clip or I'll get the vacuum cleaner for you guys right now."

Wilson looked very confused. "Stop it, House."

"What is it?"

"It's Cuddy. She knows what we are doing here."

"What?", he grabbed the phone from Wilson.

"What's going on?"

"It's me, House. I monitor you guys. Making sure everyone plays by the rules. Don't think you could hide from me for a second. Next time you try to cheat you lose."

She hung up leaving the two of them amazed and annoyed.


"How did she do that?", Wilson finally asked.

House shrugged. "Who cares? She did it. The bad part is now we have to play by the rules. You really think I want to share my bed with you?", House snapped.

"You really think I want you to be there when I take a shower?"

House's eyes became big. "Oh my God."

He had not really thought about this bet when he had took it.

But before they thought about personal hygiene it was time to find some dinner. House wanted to order but Wilson wanted to cook himself.

"Suits me fine as long as you can do it here on the couch. I won't move", House mumbled.

"Get your ass up, House. You can help", Wilson suggested.

"Yes. Please let me peel the potatoes", House snapped in a sarcastic voice.

Wilson was not in the mood for discussions. He took the phone got the batteries out and threw them in the corner of the room.

"Ups. Now we can't call the delivery guy."

House sighed. "Brilliant. If only I had a cell phone."

He got disappointed when Wilson held it up right that moment.

"Give me that!", House told him but it joined the batteries and ended in the corner behind House's piano.

House looked pissed. "You know what, I'm not hungry."

But it was a lie and the sounds in his stomach convicted him. He rolled his eyes.

"Fine. You can do your food poisoning", he said and went up.


During the following half hour Wilson chased House around the kitchen. He needed stuff from the fridge then he needed a pot, next thing he was looking for a spoon and so on.

And House realized that his idea of being chained on Wilson's left hand was not the very best. Wilson used that hand for everything which meant that House had to follow his every move with his right hand. At least it was a good excuse for not helping at all.

"It needs more salt", Wilson explained after he had tasted the sauce.

House handed over the salt shaker for the third time in the last 2 minutes.

"Is this the way you treat your patients as well? Giving them meds waiting for a change and realizing the dosage was too low? No wonder they die most of the time."

"This is cooking, not chemistry. I don't follow any books but listen to my gut feeling."

House smirked. "The same gut feeling you use to pick out your wives?"

"Shut up, House!"


Finally they could eat but even that was not easy. Brushing teeth or eating with cutlery had been an automatism for years given that you use the usual hand. Try and use your other hand for a change and it turns out your brain needs a while to figure it out.

Still they were full after a while and House had to admit that it was once more a delicious meal.

"What about the dishes?", Wilson asked and looked at the dirty plates.

House rolled his eyes.

"We throw them away and buy new ones tomorrow."

"No, come on. Don't let it get dry. It's easier to clean it now", Wilson explained.

"Spoken like a true housewife. You sure you're a man?"

"House, there's no reason that we don't do this now. It's your kitchen and your stuff we have to clean it anyway so come on now."

House raised an eyebrow.

"But it's annoying you and not me. I don't care about my kitchen. The longer it stays that way the more it bugs you. Only good for me. That dinner was tasty, 30 more days of it would be great."

Wilson shook his head. "I won't give up because of some dirty plates."

House took a Vicodin and looked around.


"Time to relax. Time for my piano", he got up but Wilson didn't join him.

"No way. I won't move", he smirked.

"I'm not in a good mood and there are only three things that could improve it right now. Bad enough I can't ride my bike for a week, hookers are off-limits right now as well I guess so the piano has to do."

"I don't care about your mood", Wilson explained.

"Remember we share a bed tonight. You don't want me to be annoyed."

Wilson sighed. That was a serious threat. House was very creative when he was upset and close to his victims.

"Ok, but only half an hour."

While House enjoyed his piano hour Wilson thought about the files waiting for him and the undone dishes. It bugged him. House's tactic worked already. Suddenly House interrupted his play.

"We need to change the rules", he mumbled.

Wilson rubbed his left elbow. He had to stretch his arm all the time while House played his instrument. Now he was glad about the relief.

"What?"

House looked around on the floor. "Give me my cell phone."

Wilson picked it up. It was still in the corner of the room where it had landed an hour earlier.

House took it and dialed Cuddy's number.

"What's going on?", Wilson wondered but House didn't answer him.

"Good evening, Dr. Cuddy. How are you?"

"What is it, House?", she asked him immediately.

"We need to change the rules. I won't ruin all my shirts so you have to give us some freedom so we can get dressed or we just work the entire week in the same clothes if you'd prefer that."

Cuddy thought it over.

"Sounds fair. I give you 5 minutes every morning and evening. That's enough to put on a shirt, right?"

"How are you observing us?", House wanted to know now.

"You think you are the only one who can hire a PI? The guy still has the hots for me so I got a bonus."

"That traitor!", House announced. "How about 15 minutes in the evening? I don't want watch Wilson in the shower."

Cuddy chuckled. "5 minutes. Just look in the other direction."

"Maybe you and I should play this game once as well", House mumbled and earned a sneering look from Wilson.

"Good night, House", Cuddy answered and hung up.

"What did she say?", Wilson wanted to know.

"We got to find those paperclips and a stopwatch. 5 minutes and 1 second and we lose."


Wilson didn't do his paper work on that first evening. It got late and so they decided to go to bed. They used their five minutes to get changed and to use the toilet in private for a change before they gathered together around the sink to brush their teeth.

"You sure you want to stay on the left side, House?", Wilson asked when it was time to get connected again. House nodded.

"My shoulder feels better already."

Wilson sighed. "Fine."

5 minutes later they lied in House's bed and starred at the ceiling.

"This is really odd", House mumbled.

"It's not the first time we sleep next to each other", Wilson said.

"Waking up next to each other on my floor in the living room with a huge hangover doesn't count."

Wilson smirked. "But it was a great party back then."

Suddenly he sat up. "Forget to set my alarm.

He got his cell phone.

"What time do you get up?", he asked House.

"When I wake up. Around half past nine."

"No way, House. I have to be in the hospital at 9 am", Wilson told him.

House chuckled. "Forget it. But you could give up and be on time."

"Don't worry. I'll be on time", Wilson said and lied down.


Two hours later they were still lying there both awake and still exploring the ceiling.

"House", Wilson interrupter the silence.

"Hmm", was the only reaction.

"I'm thirsty."

House groaned.

"Just 6 more hours and we have to get up. You'll live."

"We can't sleep anyway. Please."

"At the moment I can't sleep because you are babbling all the time."

Suddenly Wilson reached over House and got the Vicodin of House's nightstand.

"Hey, what are you doing?", House asked in the dark.

"Nothing. Just lost my pills", Wilson mumbled.

House switched on the lights.

"Give me my pills!", he ordered his buddy.

Wilson smirked.

"Wow, this is interesting. I could win this just by taking your Vicodin and making sure they are out of reach."

"No you couldn't."

"House, you won't make it the entire week without Vicodin."

The diagnostician opened the drawer and brought up a new bottle of pills.

"It would take you a week to find my entire stash."

Wilson sighed.

"Can we please go to the kitchen for a second?", he asked annoyed.

"Nope."

After a moment of silence Wilson started humming. House rolled his eyes which was pretty useless since it was dark. The two friends were facing a dilemma here. House was too stubborn to admit the fact that Wilson was annoying him. Wilson was too stubborn to stop humming since he didn't want to lose to House again. So this went on for half an hour. Finally Wilson was annoyed about himself and House was close to starting a killing spree.

But Wilson was still the more reasonable of the two of them.

"Good night, House", he finally said.

"Let's go to the kitchen", House answered.

"What?"

"I'm thirsty", House told him.

Wilson got upset.

"And you weren't thirsty during the last 30 minutes?"

House smirked. "I was but I had to wait until you gave up humming."

"Well bad luck for you. I'm not thirsty anymore. I want to sleep now."

"You want me to start singing? You know I got more musical talent then you."

Wilson sat up. "Ok. Let's go."


They both got a glass of milk and settled on the couch. Wilson checked his watch. It was half past two in the morning.

"Crappy TV program", House mumbled while he zapped around.

He handed Wilson the remote control and swallowed a Vicodin.

"We have to figure out a way to get some sleep", Wilson mumbled.

"Here's an idea. You decide to quit we get rid of each other and the problem is solved", House suggested.

Wilson rolled his eyes. "I won't give up!"

Suddenly the phone rang. Wilson handed it over. "It's your department."

"What is it?", House snapped.

"You have to come in. He went into cardiac arrest and we barely could bring him back."

"Why do you need me? You saved him and he's still alive."

"Yeah, and we want him to stay alive so please get back in here", Foreman explained.

He told his boss about the latest developments.

House watched Wilson. The oncologist was close to falling asleep. His eyes were shut and his head came dangerously close to House's shoulder.

"I'll be there in 20 minutes", House told his employee and hung up. For a moment he observed Wilson and felt almost pity for him. But a second later his diabolic side came back. He punched his buddy in the side and Wilson woke up immediately.

"What? What's going on?"

He jumped up and dragged House's right arm with him.

"Ouch! Be careful!", House complained.

Wilson was confused. "What's going on?"

"We have to go to the hospital. And no, I'm serious and this is not another try to annoy you."

Wilson nodded. "Ok. But let's get some decent clothes first."


Thanks for reading. Reviews are welcome. :-)