Gwea looked on, a glimmer of confusion penetrating the numbness that was so familiar. Who was that knocking at the door? She had thought, what with the number of dwarves already here, the group- Company, as Gandalf had quietly informed her- was inside the hobbit hole in its entirety.
If she had looked back on this thought in the future, she probably would have laughed at her foolishness. Yes, there was already a large number of dwarves at the meeting, but even with the short time she had been there it was clear that one thing- person- was missing. A leader. Someone who was respected, who held the power and had the mind to use it.
Gwea was last out of the living room, almost hesitant to meet this last member. Foolish in her thinking she may be, but her instincts were quick to fill her in on who was behind that door, if not specifically, then she had an expectation.
Gwea listened as someone- presumably Bilbo- left the group to open the door. The creaking and then welcoming chatter were the only things Gwea had to go on as the newcomer stepped into the hobbit hole, as the sizable group of dwarves and then Gandalf himself stood in her view.
The newest stranger was clearly male, his deep voice annoyed as he talked with the wizard. He was thicker than Gandalf, and much shorter, and Gwea hazard a guess this was yet another dwarf.
This was the most she could make of him, that is, until the chatter suddenly died down, and the shifter came to realize the dwarf-man had finally asked a question that could only have focused on her presence here.
The closest dwarfs- Bombur and Ori, she thought- grasped her arms and dragged her forward into the light, and she was immediately scrutinized by, as she had presumed, another male dwarf, this one with long braided dark hair, a middle-aged looking face- definitely older than, say, the brothers- and had an aura of a man in charge.
He looked her up and down, obvious distain showing on his face.
"Gweawryn, may I introduce Thorin Oakensheild, King Under the Mountain," Gandalf introduced, Gwea feeling a small prick of awe, "Thorin, Gweawryn, a shifter and member of this Company."
Gwea looked up- yes, up- into the face of Thorin Oakensheild. If he was here, it was all too clear what this quest was. There was no doubt in Gwea's mind that a mountain and dragon lay at the end of this journey. She could have sighed internally. But Gandalf had called in a favor, and she was not going to anger another wizard.
Thorin was looking her up and down still, his scowl growing more and more prominent.
"A shifter?" He growled at Gandalf, and Gwea knew in another time she may have bristled at his blatant disregard of her. "It is not coming on this quest. It is an abomination, full of dark magic. We will have enough of that on this quest. I will not bring on more burden to this Company."
Thorin, his face furious, made to push past her, but Gwea held firm. The only emotion she could still feel was anger, and she was roaring with fury.
"FIRST of all," she began, raising her voice as he made to speak, "I am as qualified- more so- than ANY of you in this room, and yes that includes you.
"I was fighting orcs and goblins when you and I were both in diapers, killing them since before my first woman's bleeding. I was raised for the sole purpose of fighting, killing. So don't. You. Dare. Talk to me about inexperienced," she continued, her voice quiet with lethal promise. "SECONDLY," she glared when Thorin moved to speak yet again, "I am a SHE, not an it, and I am a part of this company. A part that, by the looks of things," she looked around at the dwarves around her pointedly, "could very well save your asses in a fight against a dragon," Thorin looked surprised at her knowledge, turning to glare at Gandalf. Gwea caught his arm and forced him to look back at her.
"You need me, don't act like kicking me out is even an option. I'll meet you tomorrow," she finished, growling at the lot of them. It may once have been amusing to see all of them, including Gandalf, with their eyes wide and mouths hanging open, but Gwea just glared and snarled before pushing past Oakensheild to the door, stepping outside and slamming it in her wake.
The night air was cool against her skin, and she took multiple deep breaths, calming the fires of the rage that permanently rested within her, and looked around at the beautiful lands of the Shire. It was green and flowering and lovely, and Gwea settled back into the seductive numbness that was a familiar companion. She shifted into her true, free, form, and flew away to get some sleep. Damn Dwarfs.
Kili stood, stunned into silence, staring at the green door through which the shifter had stormed. The woman, who had shown emotion only in that first meeting, when she had seen him, had shouted at his uncle, at Thorin Oakensheild, the unflappable King Under the Mountain, who was also staring at the circular door into the hobbit hole.
He couldn't help it. He giggled, as unmanly as it was.
And that giggle turned into a chuckle.
And that chuckled into a full-throated, wheezing laugh, turned only heartier when Fili joined, and his uncle turned to look, bewildered, at him.
And soon enough, the youngest of Durin's Sons were rolling on the floor, inconsolable with laughter.
The meeting went on that night, Kili and Fili eventually calming enough to join and discuss the serious matters of this quest, but he would never forget the first time he saw a woman who was not his mother scream at the future King. Nor would he forget that woman.
And the next day, though Thorin would try his best to deceive her, that woman would become an official member of the Company of Thorin Oakensheild.
Kili turned away from Fili, shifting on his pony as his brother told the Company a story involving himself, a goat, a pretty innkeeper's daughter, and Thorin. As the Company roared with laughter at the climax of the story, he looked up into the sky, sure no one was paying him any attention, and gazed at the bird flying so far above their heads.
Gweawryn had appeared that morning, even after Thorin had left in the wee hours of morning in attempt to avoid both her and the hobbit, whom they left, snoring in his bed back in the hobbit hole.
Thorin had scowled, but did nothing but grimace as she shifted and took off, following their path from above.
That had been hours ago. She hadn't said anything in all that time to anyone.
Even when Bilbo had caught up to them just outside the Shire- though she had swooped down to ride on the hobbit's pony (still as a bird- what species was that, anyway?) and Bilbo had spoken for a while—yes, just Bilbo.
Even during their stop for lunch, she had merely caught several fish from a nearby stream, leaving some with Bombour to cook, and keeping one for herself- which she ate, sitting in a tree a ways from the remainder of the company.
Kili wasn't sure why she was so adamant about avoiding the Company- surely she knew that they didn't all-share Thorin's opinion of her and her species. He couldn't speak for most of the group, but he and Fili just thought it was amazing she had stood up to their uncle like that last night.
"We'll stop here for tonight," Thorin said, effectively cutting through the Kili's thoughts and, to the disappointment of many, the embarrassing story of Kili's childhood. He laughed playfully at the others' pouting faces, that is, until Fili smirked and promised to continue the story later.
Kili growled playfully, and tackled his older brother to the ground, kicking and pushing, Fili returning his tussling with a laugh.
The bags and ponies forgotten, Kili knocked Fili's shoulder with his own, pushing hard into it and forcing Fili to lean to one side, as Fili reached up to his head to tug on strands of his hair.
"Boys!"
Kili banged his head on Fili's chin and sat up, rubbing a hand over the bruised area. Thorin was looking down sternly at his nephews, his face the picture of bothered, but Kili saw a twinkle of mischief and love in Thorin's eyes, and knew there was no real issue. He glanced over and saw Fili was standing, rubbing an apparent sore spot on his jawline. He chuckled and held up an arm, which Fili grasped firmly and pulled to help him up on his feet.
"Totally won that," he said, smirking. Kili scoffed.
"Check again, Fee. I so had you beat at the end there," he said, and he would have ducked Fili into a nougie if Thorin hadn't been standing there with a stern and expectant look on his face.
The sides of Thorin's lips twitched into what passed for a smile when you were talking about Thorin.
"Boys, I have a request for you."
Gwea groaned and shifted back into her human form. She was in the woods a good ways away from the rest of the company. Good thing, too, what with her present lack of clothing.
She swung her pack off her back and began the search for a cleanish set of clothes. She was in no rush- the dwarfs were setting up camp, which was term for have a quick drink in celebration for another day yet completed before setting to cooking a slow-burning stew.
"Gweawryn!"
Gwea nearly jumped out of her skin at the sudden call of her name. She grabbed the first set of clothing her hands came into contact with, just pulling on her shirt as the newcomer came upon the small clearing she had found for her shifting.
She turned, and immediately saw Fili's wide eyes staring at her, or, more specifically, at her now-covered back. It was clear to Gwea he had seen her scars, likely the long, jagged cut that divided her lower back. By his expression, she would not be able to BS her way out of this one.
She gave a small sigh, and gestured for Fili to sit beside her on a nearby rock.
"What are you doing here?" She asked flatly, without the energy to play around. It had been a long time since she had had energy enough for that.
It seemed Fili had gotten over his shock and settled for confusion.
"I came to get you- Thorin wanted you back at camp." Gwea suspected it was a bit more than that, but didn't want to push the issue now.
"What did you see?"
"You," Fili gulped "you have a really large scar on your back." Gwea nodded. So he had only seen the one on her lower back.
"What questions do you have? I will answer three," she said, if only to placate his curiosity enough so he wouldn't go speculating about her with the other dwarfs. She didn't care about their opinions of her, but the last thing she needed was for news to get out that a shifter with many scars was traveling with dwarfs. That would be a recipe for disaster.
She looked over at Fili to see him contemplating- probably deciding what three questions would get him the most information. She looked to the sky, then, and through the leaves what she could make of the sky was clearly turning the pink of sunset.
"You should hurry, lest we be out of camp when the sun sets," she said. Fili looked over at her, acknowledging her words, and, by the looks of things, settling on his questions.
"Where did you get that scar?" Well. That was blunt.
"I was in a... Camp, of sorts, a fighting camp. That scar is the result of a failed battle," she said, easily pushing away the memories- a man, standing over her limp body- shouted words- pain, for an impossibility long time then and afterwards.
Fili still looked confused, and full of pity- old her would have snarled- but he accepted the answer and moved on.
"Why were you in a fighting camp- by choice or force?"
"Force. I was there simply because I had been born." Fili gave a sort of gasp, and-almost involuntarily- wrapped Gwea in a hug. It was clear Fili was surprised at his own actions, but he didn't release her, and so she sat stock still until he eventually unwrapped her from his embrace.
Gwea looked at him with wide eyes.
"I- I'm sorry- for the hug and for what you went through," he stuttered, his face turning red.
Gwea raised an eyebrow, and simply said, "You have one more question."
Fili seemingly calmed down, his face returning to its normal tone, and opened his mouth hesitantly.
"Why did you react so terribly when you saw my brother for the first time?"
Gwea was surprised, though in hindsight she probably shouldn't have been. It was clear from Fili's eager expression this had been bothering him for a while, presumably since the incident occurred, and it would be safe to assume many of the others in the Company had the same question held in their minds.
She gave a weary sigh as more flashbacks came then, of that night, and of the night she had met the dwarfs. She pushed them away with practiced ease, ignoring the pain running rampant at the reminder of what had happened, and set to attempting to answer his question with as little detail as she could get away with.
"He... Well, he reminded me of someone I once knew. He- the one I knew- is... gone now, and it- it hurt to be reminded in such a way. Of course, Kili really looks nor acts not at all like Him, but... There was a moment, a very painful moment, when I first met the Company."
Gwea looked over at the dwarf beside her as she finished talking, to see that his eyes were swimming with pity, and apology for bringing it up. Well, at least she wouldn't have to worry about follow-up questions.
She ran a hand through her dirty, wind-swept hair, and looked up at the sky once more. The pink was turning steadily into a dark purple, and she could hear the crackle of a fire beginning to come to life back at the dwarfs' camp.
She stood, and held out a hand to help Fili to his feet.
"We should get back to camp, make sure Kili isn't still wandering about searching for someone who has been found," she said, turning away from his sympathy and pity, pulling on her pack, and walking towards the increasing brightness of a fire in the distance.
Fili watched as Gweawryn walked away from him. His mind was... Blank. He was having some serious trouble processing the information the shifter had given him. He had suspected her history was rough- he had even been suspicious of her for a while there (not that he had told Kili that. His brother had some sort of obsession with the girl) but... Whoa. He had not been expecting this.
A fighting camp. She had obviously been taken there, forced out her home, family killed most likely. By the way she had explained reacting to Kili so badly though... Maybe she had had a brother or father with her at the camp? Clearly somebody of importance had died, and Fili was willing to bet it had been recently. The girl was just so... Cold. It had been the reason he had been suspicious of her. How could you get a read on someone who never showed emotion? Even her eyes- which Fili, to a lesser extent than Kili, had always been pretty skilled at reading- were just their beautiful golden shade- not the well of information he was accustomed to. Well, at least she showed anger pretty frequently. One emotion was better than none. Though anger wouldn't have been his first choice.
Fili gave a small groan of frustration, and picked himself up to follow Gweawryn back to camp.
When he reached the camp, a few minutes following Gweawryn's return, Fili was immediately bombarded by the delicious scent of Bombour's latest stewish masterpiece. He had smelt it from the shifter's clearing, but standing now in its immediate vicinity had his stomach growling before he could take another step.
Of course it was then that Kili chose to appear beside him.
"Oho, somebody's hungry," said his brother, a teasing tone in his voice, "but clearly not enough. What kind of rumble was that? Clearly, my brother, has been replaced by a lady- an Elven lady! That was disgraceful for even the cleanliest of our race, Fee!" Kili finished with a laugh.
Fili turned to Kili, and, taking a long drink from his water flask, belched right in his face. And it was a good belch, too; loud and stinky and right in Kili's face.
Kili growled. "I-"
"Fili! Kili!"
Whatever his brother had been going to say was apparently to be ever a mystery, as Thorin came walking over to where the brothers had been arguing.
Their faces automatically turning matching pictures of innocence, Fili and Kili turned to where their uncle was standing.
Fili took in the sight of his uncle. Thorin didn't look angry- a good sign- but he didn't look quite pleased.
"Boys, remember the task I gave you. It will be frustrating, and probably a little degrading, but I need you to do it," Thorin said. Fili shared a look with Kili.
"Alright," said Kili.
"We'll get to it," Fili finished, giving a cheeky smile.
"I need you to train the girl. I find it highly unlikely she was being truthful about the extent of her skills, and I won't have another burden on this Company. We have enough as is," Thorin growled.
Fili shared another look with his brother. Even without knowing what he did, both Kili and Fili could see the way Gweawryn held herself, and it was actually similar to Thorin himself. It was the way someone walked when they knew they were the most capable person in a group. Gweawryn's was easily more lithe and refined than their uncle's, and better hidden, but it was there.
Fili was actually surprised their uncle hadn't seen it himself. Then again, Thorin had always been stubborn when it came to lasses. Dwarven lassies were rarely trained, let alone skilled in the art of battle, and Thorin had always believed a woman's place was in the home.
Somehow Fili didn't think that was how Gweawryn thought of her role in life.
Still, this was his uncle and king asking, so Fili reluctantly nodded his head, Kili grimacing but following his lead. Thorin gave an approving nod, then marched off towards Balin and Gandalf.
Fili gave a sigh of long-suffering, but was unable to resist grinning as his brother repeated his gesture exactly.
"Come on, we best get started with the lass," Kili said, returning his grin, but settling into a determined, if slightly apprehensive look. Fili nodded, already searching the clearing for the lass amongst his fellow dwarves. He quickly spotted her, sitting elegantly on a rock besides Bilbo and Nori, both of whom seemed to be listening with rapt attention to whatever the shifter was saying.
"Well, that's a surprise," Kili said, his eyebrows high. Fili nodded, confused. Nori was not one to associate with strangers, especially those whom most of his kind had already written off. In fact, Fili would have thought the dwarf would have been among the first to criticize the shifter.
Fili sent a last look at his brother, before walking towards the strange trio.
"-And on they fought, teeth bared," Gweawryn was saying, "sweat gleaning on their foreheads-" she cut herself off when she noticed the brothers. -"Fili. Kili. What do you want?" It was not said with malice, just simple indifference, and maybe a bit of confusion.
"Oh, what a warm welcome," said Kili, "You sure have a way with people, lassie." Gweawryn scowled, and Fili sensed it was time to get to the point.
"We are here for your training," he said, wincing as realized how that sounded. It had been much better in his head. "I just mea-"
"My training?" Gweawryn said, her voice dangerously quiet. "You had better mean my training you-" She cut off as Kili scoffed softly, apparently forgetting her animal hearing. Her eyes narrowed, and she pushed off the rock, stalking away from the brothers.
Fili turned incredulously to his brother. "Where in Durin's name did that come from? This morning you were chomping at the bit to have a go at Uncle on her behalf," he scolded quietly, much to Kili's apparent anger. Fili watched as Kili began pacing in short steps.
"I don't know! Okay," he said, looking incredibly frustrated, "I just get near her- and my brain just goes all blank! I want to defend her, but the next minute I want to throttle her! And then I'm thinking about her neck, and her li-" he stopped, turning slightly pink. Fili turned away to hide his smile. Now he understood, even if it seemed Kili didn't quite yet.
"Alright, Kee," he said, repressing his grin as he turned back around, "just try not to antagonize her when you go back over there."
"Me?!"
"Oh yeah. Her problem's not with me, you have to convince her to try training," Fili said, internally congratulating himself. Kili would need to work past this... Crush... Before things got any worse, and giving him time to settle down around her would be perfect. He could have given one of those evil laughs as he watched his brother slump and trudge over to the lass.
But he wouldn't, though. He was a professional.
Gwea walked back from the quote-on-quote "training" she had been forced to participate in with Kili. The dwarf may look like a god, but he was no god with a sword. Or hand to hand combat. Or knife fights. Or anything, really. He was skilled, sure, probably one of the best among dwarfs, but compared to the Shifters she had fought- or even the orcs she had killed- he had a lot to learn.
Ha. As if he had something to teach her.
Still, he had managed to get one good hit on her. She was sure she was going to have some serious bruising on her lower arm tomorrow.
She looked over at Kili, who was just a few feet away, sitting on his own bedroll talking to Fili. He seemed to be pissed, waving his arms about wildly.
She watched, amused, as she prepared to sleep. She was just closing her eyes as Thorin wandered over to the boys, presumably to get caught up on the "training". She laughed as she took in his expression, her last thought as she faded into sleep that she couldn't remember the last time she had laughed.
It had probably been with Remy.
Gweawryn let out a soft, almost strangled moan as she tossed and turned in her sleep. Kili, who was on the current watch, looked on, worried. He reached out to touch her, to wake her several times, but each time he pulled back, reluctant to face her again after the disaster that had been the training. He knew it was selfish- Fili would have smacked him over the head- but he couldn't help it. The look she had worn at that last moment stuck with him, running through his mind constantly.
Still, he would want someone to wake him from a nightmare.
Kili sighed, pushed all and any thoughts to the back of his head, and crept over to where Gweawryn was writhing in her bedroll. He reached out to shake her shoulder, careful to avoid the bruising he knew must have been on her lower arm.
Before he could even lay his hand down, however, Gweawryn bolted upright, forcing Kíli's arm up and him to go toppling over.
"What- Kíli?" Gweawryn whispered, her voice thick with anger and the fading fear of her dream. "What are you doing?"
Kíli raised his hands in the universal sign for surrender, swallowing thickly as her expression veered dangerously towards tell-me-right-now-or-so-help-me-I-will-castrate-you.
"I wasn't doing anything!" He said, "You were- you were having a nightmare and I thought- well, I thought if I had been having a nightmare I would want to be woken up, and so I just- I was just- doing... that," he said, finishing lamely.
Gweawryn's face softened slightly, and she nodded her head in acceptance of his broken explanation. Kili watched, surprised, as her defensive demeanor dropped completely, and the shifter laid back down on her bed roll, seeming only exhausted, sad, and angry- the sort of angry that couldn't be directed at one person, but at the world, at life in general. It was clear to Kili there were definitely some individuals in the world she chose to aim her anger at- he counted himself in that number- but at the moment, her will had just been so drained she sunk back into her original state.
"I'm sorry."
Kili jumped at her words, having believed their conversation- if you could call it that- was over and he had settled back onto his log, looking out at the surrounding territory.
He was surprised at her apology. Hadn't he been the one pestering her? Hadn't he deserved everything she had screamed at him after that horrible training? Hadn't she been perfectly reasonable? He sure thought so. He opened his mouth to repeat these thoughts back to Gweawryn, but it seemed she wasn't done.
"I- well, I was married. A long time ago. And now- now I just can't. I-" her voice wobbled, "I loved him, a-and no-ow he's gone. And I just- can't." Kili felt his eyes widen as she confessed this to him, her voice cracking and tears rolling down her cheeks.
Kili thought she might be embarrassed if it had been this afternoon, or even probably in the morning, but for now she just needed this, and he wouldn't mess with that.
"Alright," He said softly, simply accepting her words.
That night, he waited until she had stopped crying and had fallen asleep before he went and woke Fili for his shift.
The next few days were rough on the Company. Not only was the weather terrible- despite the dwarfs confidence in Gandalf's abilities to change that- but silence reigned most days, with Gwea miserable- she could not shift and fly due to the pain of the severe bruising on her lower arm- but Kili, and Fili as a result, were quiet. Even as the incident had been many days past, Kili remained cowed and quiet around Gwea, who was always around now that she couldn't fly, and the dwarfs were quite disgruntled by the now silent brothers- dwarfs weren't built to be quiet.
Author's Note:
Another chapter, done! I expect this will be about the rate of chapters, and I apologize for that, but I am not very fast. JHowever, I have been on vacation, so it is possible future chapters will come faster.
Anyways, let me know what you think! Also, does anyone know a good website for English to Khuzdul?
-the booky
