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It was not the most restful night sleep I'd ever gotten. I knew I shouldn't have but I kept thinking about the girl Jacob had liked before me. I couldn't help myself but dissecting his words was too fascinating to stop. He said he "liked" her but did he love her? I wonder what she looked like. Was she pretty? Prettier than me?

Renesmee you need to stop. I got up out of bed and got dressed. Just something casual, nothing fancy although Alice would probably disapprove. I was a lot like my mom that way. I didn't mind shopping unlike mom but there were days where I would rather be comfy than look really gussied up.

"Morning sweetie," my mom said as I walked into the hallway. She was in the kitchen fixing me some eggs.

"Morning." I walked over to help her and she kissed my cheek. My mom looked a lot like me but she was so much prettier. She had long, brown hair which flowed down almost reaching her backside. She was shorter than me but still curvy and graceful. I think the eyes are what makes me jealous. Her golden eyes reveal what she truly is whereas my brown hide part of me. I don't really belong to any species. Half human-half vampire. Where does that leave me?

My thoughts stopped when dad walked into the room. He knew these thoughts were common and I hated to make him think that I wasn't grateful for being here but he at least understood the confusion I felt on occasion.

"Do you have any plans for today?" my dad asked me.

"Nothing this morning but I'm going over to Jake's later."

"So your morning is free?" he inquired.

"Yes," I responded not sure where he was going with this.

"Well your mom has been itching to go book shopping in the city and you can come with us if you'd like?"

"I'd love to go!" Awesome. I can restock my collection of books. I hated to check books out at the library not that there was a decent library around but I loved to reread books over and over again. Somehow they never bored me.

"Why don't you eat breakfast and meet me over at the house? We'll leave in a half an hour?"

"Sounds good sweetie," my mom said before she kissed him. I didn't like to look at my parents when they kissed each other. It wasn't gross or anything like that but for some reason I felt like I was intruding. Like I was looking at something private.

Dad left the cottage and took off towards the house. I didn't want him around when I asked my mom these questions.

"Mom?"

"Yes Renesmee?"

"You and Jake were friends right? Are friends?"

"Yes, why do you ask?" I didn't want to butt into her and Jacob's past since they never talked about it much but I thought I'd give it a try anyway.

"Well Jacob mentioned something last night and I was wondering if you knew anything about it."

She looked at me with curious eyes waiting for me to proceed.

"He said that there was a girl he liked awhile ago I guess."

My mom's eyes shifted focus and she was no longer looking at me but at the eggs in the pan instead. What was she hiding? She was never good at lying.

"Did you know who she was?" Now I felt like I was crossing a line, perhaps going to get punished for what I'd asked. I shouldn't feel that way though. Why was I feeling like I did something bad? It was just a question.

"I did know her," she finally admitted. My eyes lit up with curiosity.

"What was her name? What did she look like? Was she pretty?" My questions came out like a flood gate breaking.

"Renesmee, Nessie, calm down." She grabbed my shoulders till my questions stopped.

She looked me in the eyes with shame. "Mom what's wrong?"

"How about you eat breakfast and then we talk about this in the car?"

"Sure," I said hesitantly. Now I was afraid to know. Did I really want to? I grabbed the plate she handed me with the eggs and ate slowly not noticing them going down my throat. I was in my own world wondering about the secrets my parents and Jake were keeping from me.

Once I'd finished my breakfast we left the cottage and ran towards the house not saying a word to each other. Dad was waiting for us by the garage with the Volvo ready to go. His head shot up when he saw my mom and I knew she was warning him about what I'd asked.

The three of us got into the car in silence and sped towards the highway with an uncomfortable silence. I decided that it was going to have to be to say something first.

"Will someone please tell me what is going on?! I'm going crazy back here!" My dad sighed and I could sense his shoulders dropping in defeat.

"Renesmee," he started. "I think we need to have a talk." This is bad. This is going to be really bad. What was Jake keeping from me? It is bad. I was about to start hyperventilating but my mom grabbed my hand and started rubbing circles with her thumb to keep me calm.

"Please calm down," my dad said. I looked up at both of them. We had already made our way into the city but instead of parking at our favorite bookstore we were at a park instead. "Why don't we take a walk?"

The three of us got out of the car on the particularly cloudy day and began to walk slowly on the path that wound around the park. My dad took my hand looked lost for words.

Mom broke the silence. "I guess it all started when I moved to Forks and met your father eight and a half years ago…"


I sat on a bench lost for words. Their story which somehow complicatedly wound with Jacob's life as well entered through one ear but somehow didn't register in my brain.

"So it was you?" My question came out as an accusation. "Jacob was in love with you?" I didn't want to believe it. Here I was comparing myself to a woman that Jacob had been in love with years ago only to find out it was my mother.

"Jacob never loved me like that or at least he thought he was but he didn't know what love was." This made me feel only fractionally better. My dad decided to butt in.

"Sweetie I know Jacob's thoughts and trust me when I tell you the only girl he loves is you. Of course he still loves your mother but just like a sister. I know Bella feels the same way about him but you have to trust us when I say that Jacob only loves you." He tucked a stray strand of hair behind my ear.

We sat in silence as I watched the other kids with their parents although their parents actually looked like parents. Those kids never had to worry about things like this. Why is my life always so complicated?

"Do you still want to go to the bookstore?" Mom said interrupting my thoughts. "There's still some time left." I shook my head.

"I think I should get back." I didn't even look at their faces. I needed to talk to Jake.

"Okay," my dad said. My mom grabbed my hand but I pulled it back. I just wanted to get home.

The car ride took forever. I was practically jumping in my seat the whole way keeping my hands under my behind so they didn't move. I didn't even wait for my dad to shut the car off when we pulled into the driveway. The second the car stopped I jumped out and ran towards the forest only thinking about one thing.

I don't think I'd ever run so fast. When I got to the little red house I was completely out of breath. I saw Charlie's cruiser in the driveway though; there must be a game on. I didn't bother to knock on the door, I just let myself in.

"Nessie!" Charlie came over to give me a hug.

"Hi grandpa," I said with a lack of enthusiasm.

"Nessie," Billy said as he rolled himself into the front room, "long time no see." I knew he was trying to make jokes but I was in no mood. Both he and Charlie sensed it.

"Is Jake around?" Of course he was. I could hear him sleeping in his room but I thought I would ask out of politeness.

"Sleeping in his room," I headed towards the door, "but I wouldn't disturb him." I paid no attention to him. I opened the room and saw Jake asleep on his bed curled up because he was obviously too big for the tiny room which he spent every couple of nights in. I walked over and knelt down next to him and put my hand against his cheek.

"Jake? Can you wake up?" I lightly stroked my hand against his cheek. His eyes started to flutter but I could tell he was fighting it.

"Jake I need you to wake up because I really need to talk to you." He finally sensed something was wrong. My tone which usually kept light and bubbly around Jake had no sign of happiness in it right now.

"Ness?" He was confused.

"You've been asleep all day. You need to wake up." His eyelids finally opened showing his dark, round eyes.

"What's wrong?" He sat up rubbing the back of his hands across his eyes.

"We need to talk." I stood up and walked out the back of the house waiting for him to follow. He knew where I was going, where I always go. To the beach. I kept walking not sure of where to start.

"Ness please say something I'm dying over here." I finally looked up at him and his face was all scrunched up waiting for me to say something.

"Do you remember when I asked you if you loved anyone before me?" He didn't say anything. "Well I asked my mom if she knew who it was since I knew you guys have been friends for a long time." Realization hit his face.

He quickly began to interrupt. "Look let me explain." I put my hand against his mouth making him stop. I loved the feel of his lips against my fingertips. I pulled my hand back not wanting to lose focus.

"Mom and dad explained everything about what happened before I was born or at least up to the part where you imprinted on me." He waited for me to continue. "But I wanted to hear it from you. Did you love her?" I kept my eyes down scared of his response.

"I thought I did at the time but I realize now that even if I did love her it is and always has been just as friends." That sounded a lot like what dad said. I believe him.

"Did you kiss her?" He didn't answer right away.

"Yes," he sighed. "Twice. The first time she punched me in the face and broke her hand and the second time was again my fault. It means nothing now though. I regret ever doing it." The last question was hard to get out of my mouth.

"Did you…" I looked up at him but couldn't finish.

"Did I what?"

"Did you sleep with her?" I cringed at the thought.

"Oh god Ness no." He grabbed me by the tops of my arms and pulled me in for a hug. I saw stains on his shirt and didn't even realize that it was because I was crying. "Never Nessie." I just nodded my head.

We stood like that for quite some time before his stomach started to growl.

"I'm so sorry if I ever made feel like you aren't the most important girl in my life." For some reason I didn't like how he referred to me as a girl still. If he's still doing that on my birthday in a week I'm going to have to ask him to stop.

"Do you ever compare me to her?" I don't know why I asked that. Something vain. I'd always thought that my mother has been significantly more beautiful than me even though she disagrees.

"Ness," he started to laugh. "Bella is my friend, always has been and always will be but never have I ever compared the two of you. You two are too different to ever compare."

"Good answer." We both laughed. His stomach growled again. I grabbed his hand. "Come on let's get you back home and fed. I bet Charlie and Billy are starving too." Jacob wrapped his arm around my waist and squeezed me against his side. It felt comforting and it wasn't just because his body temp is higher than normal. He was just warm as a person.

"Did you want to hunt instead?"

"Ugh no. We just went hunting and I had human food last night and this morning. I am good for quite some time. We just need to get you fed although it's starting to feel like a full time job and I'm only seven."

"Almost seven," he corrected.

"Age is just a number baby." We both laughed.

"Well in that case I guess I'm still sixteen and you must be forty." We kept laughing.

"I'll give you a few years for being good with cars but other than that I think I have you beat. Do I get any extra years?" I looked up at him and smiled.

"You get as many as you want." We'd just made it back to the house when the game started. I told Jake to go take a seat on the couch while I made everyone dinner. Nothing special but mom and dad did teach me a few things so I could help myself whenever I needed food. I made some chili out of whatever was in the fridge and put some chips on the side of the bowl.

"This looks awesome Nessie," grandpa said even though he didn't take his eyes off the television.

"Uh huh, sure." I gave Billy and Jake their bowls before taking up the seat next to Jake. I leaned up against his side enjoying the warmth before I got too hot.

"Did you two sort everything out?" Billy asked during half time.

"Everything's fine," I assured them. Grandpa seemed to be ignoring us. Whenever it came to Billy asking us stuff in his "voice" grandpa seemed to tune out. I rolled my eyes and grabbed the empty bowls and took them to the kitchen. Jacob followed.

I ran the hot water in the sink waiting for the soap bubbles to form. Jake stood next to me ready to rinse the plates off. Lights flashed through the kitchen window as a car pulled up. Jake groaned and hunched his shoulders. Rachel was getting out of the car with Ryan, her four year old son. If Rachel was here than that meant that Paul was with her too. I made an attempt to hide the chili but it was useless. Paul would find it anyway and devour any snacks that Billy and Jake could have had.

Jake loved his sister and his nephew as well but Paul and Jake could sure go at it at times. I've never seen someone annoy Jake so much that he actually phased and broke his arm. Rachel was pissed but I didn't blame him at all.

"I think I'm going to head out," I said before Rachel and Paul could make it through the front door.

"I'll walk you home," Jake said. Jake always walked me home to make sure I was safe but I'm sure that there was more reason to it than safety in this case. We both escaped out the back and took off into the forest before Billy could stop us.

We held hands the whole way back just swinging them lightly not caring to break the peaceful silence. We finally made it back to the cottage and I could see dad behind the window being overly protective as usual. He would have known what happened by now reading mine and Jacob's thoughts.

I turned to Jake as he pulled me in for an oxygen depriving hug. I buried my face in his chest breathing in his scent. There was still one more question that I wanted to ask him but it wasn't the best time with my father present.

"Bye Jake. See you tomorrow."

"Goodnight Renesmee. Sleep well." He squeezed me one last time before I ran into the house letting the cold consume me. Both my parents were sitting on the sofa assessing my mood. I smiled letting them know I was okay and went to my room where I would dream of Jake just like any other night.


Really hope you guys liked it. The reviews even though there were few made my day. Reviews really keep me going so keep it up. Hope you guys enjoyed. Thanks!