"Who's hungry?" Gracia asked entering the room wearing an apron.

"Mah! Mah!" Mini Ed cried running over to Gracia and jumping up and down.

"Mah is! Mah is!" He cried. Hughes was nearly blind from all the flashes and Armstrong was chasing his sparkles that always seemed to evade him. Fury was napping while Havoc was still sucking on his lollipop and Breda was poking the near blind Hughes. Elysia, who had just gotten up from a nap was showing Falaman how to play with blocks, and she was obviously enjoying being the oldest toddler there. As soon as they heard the word 'hungry', all of them sat up straight, dropped what they were doing and rtan past Gracia and Ed into the kitchen. Gracia smiled and looked down at the little Ed who had his arms up in the air extended towards her.

"Up!" He exclaimed nearly dropping the wooden spoon. She smiled wider and scooped the toddler up in her arms. Roy looked at the little boy curled up in her arms sucking on the wooden spoon and snapped another picture. Blackmail. Riza tugged on his pant leg pointed to the kitchen where Gracia had taken Ed. "I'm coming, I'm coming," he said, walking with her and prodding the blind Maes into the kitchen with his toes. As he entered he looked around the room at his subordinates who were seated on various piles of phonebooks and other such things to reach the table, jabbering excitedly. Ed was seated next to Al, to whom he was rambling on. "Ata mika potato!"

"That's right, nii-san, but we're not having potatoes."

"No tato"

"Umm… No, no tato, I mean, potato."

Ed hung his head. "Potato…" Just then, Gracia walked into the room with a large pot of macaroni and cheese. "Mac and cheese!" Elysia exclaimed. "Mommy, mommy, I want some, I want some!" Falman, who was sitting next to her nodded. "Me too!" Roy raised his eyebrows as all children began to beg for food. It looked just like the rest of the military in the cafeteria. He noticed that Riza was still struggling to get into a chair; she couldn't reach since the books piled on top of it for her to sit on were much taller than her. She must have felt his eyes because she stopped trying to hoist herself onto the chari because she turned around and looked at him. "Taisa," Gracia called over to him from the other side of the room, where she was serving an anxious Hughes who had regained his eyesight. "Could you help her please?"

"Huh?" he asked, snapping around to look at her. "Help her," Gracia repeated. "I've got my hands full."

"You…you mean, pick her up?"

"Yes, and set her on the chair."

"I can't do that!"

"Why not? You've held Elycia before…"

"B-but… it's Hawkeye!"

Gracia blinked. "I can't pick up Hawkeye! She'd kill me!"

"Um, taisa, she's two years old. She can't do anything."

Roy turned back to the two-year-old girl, grimacing uneasily. Its ok, she doesn't have her gun, she won't kill you, she's two… oh god, don't let her remember any of this! Riza looked at him stoically as he approached her. "Um…" He began. "I'm going to… pick you up and set you down, ok?" She blinked at him and raised her arms in the air towards him expectantly. Roy sighed, bent down and picked her up from beneath her arms and set her on the pile of books, all the while holding her at arms length. He then moved off and leaned against the wall and observed the spectacle of lunch. Hughes, Breda, Falman and Fury were eating with two-year-old accuracy, meaning they were shoving food onto their spoons and dropping half of it into their laps before it reached their mouths. Elycia was trying in vain to teach Falman who was beside her how to correctly hold a spoon, while Havoc was trying to develop away to eat without removing the enormous lollipop from his mouth. Ed was shoving food into his mouth with his hands, wooden spoon abandoned.

"Edo-kun," Gracia scolded gently. "Use this." She said, handing him the spoon. He took it with his messy hands and looked from the spoon to Gracia before beginning to bang it on the table. He smiled and looked at her expectantly for praise. Gracia laughed. "Edo-kun, like this." She took the spoon and put a small amount of the pasta on he spoon and put it in his mouth. He chewed it with enthusiasm and took the spoon back from her. "Ma to bit wata!" He exclaimed happily, shoving the spoon vertically into the cheesy pasta goodness, and proceeded to yank it out with much vigor, causing macaroni to fly all over the room. Ed's eyes widened. The rest of the group of toddlers all focused their eyes on him, each covered in some strange place with the cheesy noodles.

Havoc growled from between his teeth and lollipop, stuck his hand in his own plate and flung it back at Ed, hitting him square in the face. "DIMISHIMA!" Ed hollered, jumping up onto the table and flinging a fair share of mac and cheese back at Havoc, who ducked, and the orange mass of goodness hit Breda in the face. Realizing this was full blown war, the rest of the toddlers all stuck their hands in their food and began flinging it at random opponents, all except Riza, who slid onto the floor under the table to avoid the flying cheesy projectiles. Roy, who had been standing in the doorway until Ed had bellowed his war cry, now jumped up and tried to help the distraught Gracia and Al try to calm down the group of toddlers. All would have gone well if he had not been hit in the face by an enormous wad of the lunch. Freezing in his tracks, he wiped the food from his face and looked in the direction it came. His eyes came to rest on Edward. Feeling his gaze, Ed looked up at the colonel, growled, then jumped onto the table, pointing his wooden spoon at him with raging defiance. Sensing the tension, the rest of the food stopped flying and all eyes came to rest on the two facing eachother off. Even Riza peeked her eyes up from under the table.

"Mita kobishi?" Ed demanded, eyes raging. "Yeah, I know you hit me." Roy responded. Ed grunted, and thrust the spoon further at Roy, who reached out and yanked it away and held it far out of the toddler's reach.

This was a mistake.

Ed's lower lip quivered, and two tears formed at the corner of his eyes. "Taisa…." Al began. "Give nii-san the spoon, please…" He said slowly and cautiously. Ed looked at his brother, and back to Roy, tears threatening to spill over. "What?" Roy said. "No. Do you have an idea how much hell this spoon has put me through?" Ed turned his full attention on the colonel. "No, you can not have this back until you are cleaned up." Roy said, dangling the spoon in front of his face. "Taisa, you shouldn't-" Gracia began, but it was too late.

The room burst into a chorus of sobs and wails as Ed screamed his lungs out, a waterfall pouring from each eye. Roy sweat dropped. "Aww… no. Please…" He groaned. Because when one starts…

The rest of the room exploded. Each toddler was bawling his eyes out, except Riza who had thrown her hands over her ears again. Realizing his mistake, Roy quickly tried to give the spoon back too Ed, but the young boy pushed him away. "Here, please move, Taisa." Gracia said pushing past him with a bottle in her hands. "No, Gracia-san!" Al called out, realizing the bottle's fateful contents. But it was to late. Gracia had handed the bottle to the sobbing two year old who stuck it into his mouth. As soon as the white liquid hit his tongue, however, Ed's two-year-old eyes widened, and he spit it out in disgust. "MILK!" He yelled, raising the bottle above his head in both hands, and running around in circles on the table top before coming to catch his breath in front of Roy who was still holding the spoon. Dropping the bottle and wrenching the spoon from Roy and beating the hell out of the bottle, causing milk to fly everywhere. All the others had stopped screaming and were now staring at the boy in their midst, milk dripping from their faces.

Gracia stood in stunned silence. "Well…I think we may need to be cleaned up, don't you?"

---------------------------------------------------------

"Shibita mi kaka!" Roy looked down at Ed who was pulling on his pantleg. They had managed to get the toddlers into the bathroom for a bath. Gracia and Al had washed them off while Roy sat in the living room, making sure the ones that were clean weren't getting into trouble. So far only Hughes was unwashed, and so the rest of the gang were being amused by Elycia's bountiful supply of toys.

"What?" Roy said, looking at the boy who was insistently tugging on the military fabric. "Shibita mi kaka." He repeated. Roy raised an eyebrow. Ed groaned. "Shi-bi-ta-mi-ka-ka," He related syllable for syllable. Seeing the older man was not comprehending, Ed crossed his legs and began to jump up and down. "Shibita mi kaka!" He exclaimed. Roy's eyes widened. "Oh!" He exclaimed, standing up from his seat. "Um, Al!" He called. "Your brother needs to go to the bathroom!"

Al stuck his head in from the other room. "I'm sorry, taisa, but I'm-"

"I'll take whatever you're doing!" He said quickly.

"-bathing Hughes." Al finished. Roy slapped his forehead. "Why me?"

"Well, taisa, if you ever want to have children-"

"God forbid!" Roy exclaimed, still vaguely aware of Ed prancing around, still doing his little pagan dance. Al was silent for a minute at what the colonel had said, and his eyes flickered momentarily at Riza who was sitting in the corner, drawing with the crayons Elycia had given her. Roy saw this and his eyes narrowed. "What are you implying?"

Al blushed. "Eh? Oh, um, nothing." And he went back to helping Gracia. Ed stopped doing his dance and turned to stare at Roy.

"Akimitu?" Roy rolled his eyes and groaned. He grabbed the young boy by the scruff of his collar and began to drag him upstairs to the other bathroom.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

"Umm… are you done yet?"

"NO!" The yell came from behind the closed door. Roy leaned against the door frame, impatiently waiting for the toddler to finish his business. "I don't know why you needed me…" He murmured. "All I'm doing is standing out here."

"Mita ki ban ah!"

"Whatever."

There was silence, and Roy rubbed his forehead. Then there was a flush. He turned and put a hand on the door. "Hey, are you done? I need to get back downstairs…" Then there was another flush. And another flush. And then a smash that sounded suspiciously like something expensive. Roy opened the door and gaped. The room was completely trashed, water on the floor, broken glass everywhere. There was a clang, and Roy looked up to see Ed removing the grate from the ventilation shaft above a cabinet that he had climbed up. Moving quickly, Roy tried to grab one of his ankles, but Ed was already deep into the duct.

"Aw shit." Roy muttered, exiting the bathroom. "Gracia-san!" He called out down the stairs. "You've got something in your ventilation duct."

--------------------------------------------------------------

"Why did you put nii-san in a ventilation duct?" Al asked him as he sat and allowed multiple children to climb on him like a jungle gym. "He climbed in, I didn't put him there! Although, in hindsight, it might not have been a bad idea to…"

"Well, we can't have him in the ventilation now can we?" Gracia said smiling. She walked over to a vent and bent down by it. "Edo-kun?" She called into the vent. "I have cookies for you!"

There was the sound of mad scrambling from over head, and Ed suddenly exploded from an overhead vent and fell onto Roy's head, knocking him to the ground. "Tookie?" He asked excitedly, scrambling off the dazed colonel and over to Gracia. "Tookie! Tookie!"

Of course, when Gracia had made her proclamation, all of the other toddlers had warmed around her feet as well. Gracia nodded. "Yep. Come on, everyone, let's go sit down and I'll bring the cookies and milk out to you." Edward growled, and Gracia smiled. "You don't have to have milk with yours, Edo-kun, I can give you orange juice." Ed smiled and latched onto her with all the others and pulled her into the kitchen. As they made their way past Roy who was still on the ground, Riza broke off from the group and poked his face. "What?" He growled. She furrowed her brow at him, and then tried to push him off of the ground. Roy wearily complied. "My god… she's already keeping me from slacking…"

Cookies turned out to be a godsend. After eating them, most of the toddlers were drousy from full stomachs and were barely clining to conciousness. Gracia smiled as she watched them all, and then called to her two helpers. "Aru-kun, Taisa, please help me get them onto the couch or bed, ok?"

"Hai!" Al exclaimed, jumping up and taking a drowsier than normal Fury from Gracia's arms and carrying him into the living room. Roy hesitated. "Um… which one should I get?"

"It doesn't matter. I think the boys could all go onto the couch, and if you want, you could take Riza-chan or Elycia to Elycia's bed."

"I'll take Elycia," He said. Defiantly the least awkward since she was the age she was supposed to be. He bent down and offered his arms to the drowsy girl, but she didn't feel much like cooperating. She pulled her hands into her sides and stuck her tongue out at him. Sighing, Roy reached down and tried to pick her up, but she kicked him away. "I want Mommy." She said defiantly, kicking him away as he tried to pick her up from underneath her arms. "Mommy's doing other stuff, come on." Elycia pouted and shook her head. "No. I want mommy. I don't want you."

Roy smacked his forehead. "Listen, Elycia, Mommy is really busy, so I'm going to carry you into your room, ok?"

"No."

"Yes, now, come on."

"No. I want Mommy. I don't want you, you're scary."

This was news to him. "I'm scary?" He asked, blinking at the young girl who had just insulted him. She nodded. "You're really big. And you're voice sounds mean." She said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Roy slapped a hand over his forehead. "Is there anyway I can get you to come with me so Mommy can do her work?" He asked, refraining from sounding any scarier than he had the temptation to. "You have to take Riza-chan too."

He blinked. "Why?"

"Because you're scarred of Riza-chan."

Roy winced. "Ok, ok, I'll take you and Riza. Come on." He held out his arms to her, and she clambered on. Supporting her with one arm, he offered a hand to Riza. "Um… come on." He said to the nearly unconscious girl. She blinked drowsily before letting out a yawn. She tottered as she tried to slide off her chair, and stood up wobbly. Elycia poked Roy's cheeks. "You have to carry her."

"Why… can't I just like, hold her hand?"

"No, I want you to carry her." The little dictator said crossing her arms. Roy sighed and with his other arm and much wincing he picked the small girl. It was difficult but he managed to carry the two girls over to the bed, all the while trying to hold them at arm's length.

Walking out of the room, he sighed and wiped his forehead. The boys were asleep wither on the couch, or in a bed of blankets on the floor, Gracia and Al had managed to get them down. For the first time that day, it was quiet.