Chapter One- Anything But Love
Barbara was in mood. And while Dick could cite several examples of his bravery, he preferred to continue living instead of asking if she was going through menopause. In fact, he was taking careful steps to avoid pissing off a woman who could easily make his life a living hell. Step one was living with Helena while Bruce and Alfred were out of town. Bruce had taken Alfred to the other side of the country for an experimental treatment. Alfred tried to refuse, but Bruce wouldn't be stopped. Dick moved in the next day. Currently, he was scouring through the news on the Batcomputer as he waited for her return. It wasn't long before the empty cavern filled with the noise of a revved up engine. Dick didn't bother talking to her until she changed, knowing she wouldn't respond before she was out of costume anyway.
She spoke first. "Where's my coffee?"
Oops. Dick gave her his best "aren't I too adorable to be angry with" smile and replied sheepishly, "I forgot."
She was not amused. "Damn it, Dick! I ask for one thing in exchange for you hiding out from Barbara!" She nearly shattered the glass as she put the coffee pot on with much more force than necessary. "It's not rocket science, which I could have you doing, by the way. The Watchtower needs some repairs, though God knows I'd just end up fixing whatever mess you made."
Dick knew it was a weak response before the words left his mouth, "I'm not hiding out from Barbara."
Helena raised an eyebrow. "I believe your exact words were, 'Helena, you need to save me from Babs, she's nuts.' Or something like that."
"I was a performer at one point, I was being dramatic." Seeing he was getting nowhere, Dick settled on a different approach. "Technically, the house and cave are Bruce's, not yours. I could give him a call and ask if he'll let me stay here."
Helena pushed the start button furiously. "And I'll follow-up your phone call with one explaining why shouldn't stay here." She crossed her arms and looked at him with a wicked glint in her blue eyes. "Who do you think will win that one?"
Dick cursed. He'd forgotten that Helena had no problem fighting dirty. Bruce had a favorite child, and made little secret of who it was. Dick decided to let it drop, before she actually did kick him out. "The Harleytwins have been laying low for a while; you might want to keep on that."
Helena tied her hair back, as she always did when not Huntress. "On what? Nothing?"
"It's the Harleytwins, it's not nothing."
Helena began to take out her contacts, replacing them with glasses completing the nerdy, repressed doctor trying to restore the family's good name from a disgraceful father look. "I've won every time I've gone up against them."
"Really? How many times have you caught them?"
She caught the time on the clock; she was going to be late to the hospital if she didn't get going. "Twice. It's the cops that let them get away."
Dick's lighthearted teasing dropped and his demeanor darkened. "Deathstroke is back."
He handed her a very full file, which she quickly thumbed through. "None of these are from Gotham."
Helena was aware that dismissing a Deathstroke case with Dick would've been like dismissing a Joker case with Bruce, but really, Deathstroke had been retired for years. Why would he show up again now? She said as much. Dick shook his head. "It's Deathstroke. Look at the pattern, you have to…"
"I need to go to work and save lives. If you really want an able body on this contact the Justice League. Or better yet, the Teen Titans; I'm sure one of them has nothing better to do." She grabbed her finished coffee.
Again, Dick knew when to drop it. "Are you seriously going to work with no sleep?"
"I don't have time for sleep."
"Just like you don't have time for dating? Or a life in general?"
"You sound like my mother."
"Well, Selina's a smart lady, and sex is worth making the time."
"I barely have enough free time to sleep and you want me to fill it with a relationship and sex?"
Dick sighed. "Have you ever even had sex?"
"I'm not answering that anywhere my father is likely to hear."
"Bruce is on the other side of the country with Alfred."
She looked at him as though he'd lost his mind. "We're in the Batcave, Dick."
Dick shrugged. "Fair enough. But you should engage is some normal 29 year old activity, including dating." He wiggled his eyebrows, "Jason's always had a thing for you."
Now Helena sighed. "I'll flirt with a patient today. Will that appease you?"
"No because you'll flirt with some old man. Come on, Jason is convenient…" Dick hesitated before continuing on, "…and attractive."
"Well then, Dick, you can date him." He didn't look amused. Helena gave a fake pout and then sauntered up to him with an extra pop in her hips. "Besides you're much more convenient…" She looked him up and down and dropped her voice an octave, "…and attractive."
Dick was pretty sure she was joking, but he gulped anyway. "That would go badly, and I'm pretty sure it's a form of incest."
With her free hand, Helena began to caress his chest ever so gently. "We're not blood, and it'd only be taboo if we were raised together."
Dick removed her hand. "Well, I still have to pass, but will reconsider if you flirt with the first attractive patient your age."
Helena gave another fake pout as she moved to walk up the stairs and out of the cave. She called over her shoulder, "But none of them will have your butt, Dick!"
Dick laughed long after the echo that signaled her departure.
"He's been beaten pretty badly," the nurse warned Helena as she handed her the chart.
Helena had gotten a look at the handcuffed patient and recognized him as the attempted rapist she'd handled the previous night. She made a show of looking at his chart though she already knew his injuries. Two broken ribs (broken ribs from hard kicks were becoming a staple of hers as she was loathe to damage her hands), and a concussion with a bleed from a head smashed against the wall. She put the chart down and moved to examine the head as Dr. Meredith Drake, wife of Tim Drake, walked in.
It was pure coincidence that Helena wound up working with Tim's wife. She didn't even know what Tim's wife did for a living until she started her internship. As it turned out, she was the brain surgeon Helena aspired to become. It wasn't long until Meredith was studying films and telling Helena to book an OR.
It was always bittersweet to work on someone she'd rough up. While part of her took some pleasure in fixing what she'd broken, mostly she just felt guilty for getting carried away. When she was fighting, she was always careful not to inflict any life-ending injuries. But life as a doctor had taught her it didn't take much for something to go wrong and for someone to end up dead. She admired and adhered to Batman's no kill rule, but knew it wasn't as simple as most superheroes believed it to be. Last week, her patient died from a broken leg. The patient hadn't gotten it properly treated and was infected beyond repair. How many villains wound up with broken bones? How many of them avoided proper treatment to save themselves from the cops?
Though she never pointed any of this out to her colleagues, they couldn't handle guilt and doubt well.
It wasn't long before the elderly anesthesiologist, Dr. Edward Crane, spoke up, "This is why vigilantes should be stopped. They're as monstrous as the ones they protect us from."
Dr. Drake responded, "I, for one, am happy to have someone who can break a full grown man's bones standing between my family and people like the Harleytwins."
Under her mask, Helena smiled. She could always count on Meredith to defend her.
"The Huntress could just as easily come after you though. If the law doesn't govern them, what does?"
"If the Huntress is confronting you, there's a reason for it. Better that then someone who'll kill you because it's Tuesday."
"It's wrong, Meredith. How you could possibly think otherwise is beyond me." He looked over to Helena. "What do you think, Dr. Wayne?"
Helena imagined the secret smile under Meredith's mask. Helena shrugged, "Never gave the whole vigilante thing much thought, really."
"See that's the problem, it's starting to become just the way life is. When did the crazies inherit the world?"
Helena and Meredith exchanged looks and tuned out the rest of Dr. Crane's rant.
"I have a special case for you."
Helena was intrigued, Meredith didn't give special treatment. Why was this different? Meredith handed her the chart, after looking at the name Helena understood. "Are you kidding me?"
"No." Meredith grabbed the chart for the patient she was about to visit, "I thought it'd be appropriate, as you are famous as well."
"I'm no rock star."
"And you are the only resident I have who will remain professional." She walked away.
Helena resisted the strong urge to grumble and complain. She read the rest of his chart discovering that the reason for his visit was that a stage light had fallen and hit his head. She went down the hall to see her first attractive patient and wondered if this is what Dick had in mind. She entered the patient's room and captured his attention immediately, "Hallo luv."
Ryan Grant, rock legend, age 29, looked as good in person as he did on his Rolling Stone cover. Helena guessed from his accent that he was Welsh, near the border of Britain if she wasn't mistaken. "Mr. Grant, I'm Doctor…"
He smiled, dazzling white teeth under sparkling blue eyes, "There's no need for such formalities. I'm Ryan."
He stuck out his hand, but she didn't accept it. "I'll be examining you."
As she began to look at the gash on his head, he asked, "Aren't you a little young to be a doctor? I mean, not to sound egotistical, but don't I warrant more than an intern?"
"I'm a resident and you do warrant a private room. And not to sound egotisical, but in a few years I will be the doctor you want."
He leered at her, "Never said I didn't want you."
Helena sighed. It was going to be a long day.
