A/N: INSPIRATION - That scene in the end of "Prince Caspian" when Peter and Susan are walking together with Aslan before they leave Narnia. I always wondered what they were talking about - and then I thought, how did Peter come to realize he would be leaving Narnia? This is just a little take on what I could have seen happen the night before. Peter seems so strong when he says he will leave - but I thought he may have come to that resolution only after some heartbreak.
Characters: Peter POV with some Susan.
"Su?"
I looked at my dear sister; usually I could read her like an open book. Everything about her was so familiar to me… but her eyes held a melancholy sadness that I couldn't quite understand. I felt helpless.
"Susan – is everything all right… Are you crying?" I rushed to her side, placing my hand on her shoulder. She leaned up against the stone wall, uncontrollable sobs escaping her lips. I had seen her like this before... lonely nights in Cair Paravel when she had felt frightened or overwhelmed. But I had no idea why she was so heartbroken now.
The war had been won, Narnia was free again… Miraz's rule was over and Caspian would be a great King. I just knew it.
I wrapped my arms around her, letting her tears soak through my nightshirt so that I could feel them on my skin. That was all I COULD do. For now.
She never told me what was wrong. I held her until her sobbing calmed down and then reluctantly walked her to her quarters. I kissed her forehead ever so gently and hugged her one more time. Lucy had come to the door and seen us. Without saying a word she took Susan by the hand and led her into bed. I watched the whole scene with heartache. For if I, her elder brother, couldn't figure out what the matter was… how was anyone to know?
It was nearly two in the morning. I walked back along the balcony and felt a certain dread come over me. What was wrong? This wasn't right… how could a sense of sadness come when the war had been won? Caspian was crowned King. The Narnian's and the remaining Telmarines were going to exist happily now. Call it High King intuition - I just knew everything would be okay.
Why was I so depressed? Was it just that Susan had been tired? Was she sick? Was she unsure of the future as much as I was?
This was our HOME. We weren't going to leave it. Not again.
Aslan. I would talk to Aslan. He'd know the answers. He'd know what to say to make things right.
I practically leapt down the stone steps.
Some other power was at work because without realizing where I was going, I found Aslan quickly. He was pacing back and forth along a hedgerow which was adorned with what seemed a million beautiful Narnian flowers.
Aslan turned to me. His eyes were deep and liquid gold. I felt brave, strong, content… the way I always felt when He was by my side.
There was no need to waste time, "Aslan. It's Susan. I found her crying just a few moments ago. It's not normal for me to see her like that anymore. She rarely shows this much emotion. She likes to read and keep to herself." I shook my head, realizing just how much she had changed since we had fallen out of the wardrobe back into England.
Aslan just listened. So, I continued, "I don't know what to do. I fear in my heart… and why should I feel that? Here? In my home?"
Aslan looked into my eyes, drawing a conclusion, "Peter, you are home. But you are incomplete."
"Incomplete, Aslan?"
"You have learned much in the world of Narnia. It is your truest home you have ever known. This is your rightful Kingdom. But, now is not your rightful time. Now come the days of King Caspian, the tenth. His life here will be full of many adventures. He has needed you, and learned from your wisdom. But, he has much to learn on his own."
I felt myself choke up; it took everything I had to force my emotions back.
Aslan nodded knowingly, yet continued:
"Your path leads elsewhere. You've grown into a worthy, noble man… but now you must go on and experience things in your own world. Just as it is Susan's time – to do the same."
I knew what he meant. Aslan was right. Suddenly, the realization why Susan had been crying hit me like a ton of stones, we were going back to England. I would never come back to Narnia. I had already lived my life here… I had grown up, fought many battles, been a ruler; a friend, a good brother, and yes… even a lover. I smiled at that one. So long ago were the days of THAT. I could scarcely think of it now.
But, England…was that what it was called? Finchley? It needed me, and it needed Susan. Edmund and Lucy… well, somewhere in my heart I knew Aslan meant for them to return. They were still young and though Edmund had fought hard side by side with me in many a battle, I knew his part in the story of Narnia would go on.
Mine was ending… or was it?
I looked to where Aslan had been standing, and He had gone. Now all that I could see was stars. Brilliant, twinkling stars all around me. Trees. The mountains. I wanted to cry now, so I did. Just as Susan had done.
I walked to the nearest patch of grass, and fell to my knees. This was too much for me to bear.
In the morning, I would be leaving Narnia. I knew I would not return… unless…
Well, I couldn't think of that – not yet. For now I listened to the birds, the trees, the wind… it seemed to sing a lament, just for me. Tears cascaded down my face.
How could I leave my home?
