Don't own it.
Getting there
I can't believe he would do this to me. I loved him and he knew it. I told how I felt after all of theses years. He said that he loved me too. He never did though. Tim is just a liar. Some boyfriend he is.
I tried to let myself not think about how much he had hurt me. It wasn't working like always. I have known him almost all of my life and he has always been my best friend. My mom would call us partners in crime when we were younger. We would do everything together. We would go to the movies, go to dinner, run around late at night, have drag races in the school parking lot, ride my brothers on road/off road bikes, and go in the wood and get drunk and high.
I felt the tears run down my face as I walked home from school, alone. It was only three days ago when we were lying on my bed and he whispered that he loved me in my ear. I said it back then we messed around some more. It was only the next day that I saw him kissing her. He came over that night and asked me were I went after school. I had left without him. He put his arms around me but I pushed him off, then he realized I was crying.
I told him what I saw and he was at a loss for words. I broke it off with him that night. Then he found words to say but he didn't mean them at all. He said, " I'm sorry babe. I love you." I felt the rage run through me and I smacked him so hard. He just got up and left, leaving me alone. It was that night that we had planed to go with Benny and some friends to smoke some. I didn't go. That was something that I would do with Tim and now that were not together I'm not going to do it anymore.
It was the next morning, yesterday that I found out that he had died. The paper said that he had O.D. on marijuana. Benny's words rang in my head. " It's your fault he's dead!" He screamed at me when I got to school that day. " He was so upset that you broke up with him! He did it to himself. He committed fucking suicide!"
The tears ran faster and harder down my face as my house came into view. There was no car in the driveway. Good. I'm glad that no one is home. I used the back of my hand to wipe away the tears. They just kept coming. I have to calm down. I went and opened up the garage to see my brother's on road/off road bikes. I pulled off my bag and put it down in the garage. I pulled my long brown hair out of its ponytail and put on a helmet. I grabbed one of his bikes and started it, riding into the woods.
I have done this so often. My mom knows nothing about me even knowing how to ride one of my brother's bikes. My brother he's the one who showed me how and he could care less that I'm riding alone. He lives in New York City now, far away from rainy Washington. My Dad wouldn't be too happy if he found out but I don't have to worry about him at all. He can't tell my secret. He's dead . . . just like Tim.
That thought sent a whole new wave of tears down my face. I miss him so much. I just want him back to hold me in his arms and tell me that everything is going to be okay. I still love him and don't think I'll ever stop. I couldn't see any more. I stopped the bike and got off. I pulled off my helmet to wipe my eyes. I don't remember every going this deep into the woods before. I went to put my helmet next to the bike on the ground and it hit my thigh hard. Something poked me sharp in my right pocket. I must be really out of it to hit myself with a helmet. My skin started to sting badly. This is not good. I keep my pocketknife in that pocket.
I looked down at my pocket and it was turning a dark red. " Shit." I muttered. I put my hand in my pocket quickly pulling out pocketknife, which was now covered, in warm blood. One of the blades was out ever so slightly. I knew that that blade was going to give me a problem one of these days. I have been so careful about putting it away in my pocket so it was in the right direction. I must have not been thinking about it in my haze that morning. I was only in that haze because Tim had left me forever. I could be with him so quickly. All I would have to do would be to take this knife and stab myself deep into my broken heart and it would all be over. I held it up to my chest, the point over my heart, pressing ever so lightly into my skin, not making me bleed.
A branched snapped from behind me. I snapped my head to see if there was someone there. Suddenly something hard hit me sending me to the ground. The ground was hard and wet. It felt as if something had bit into my neck. I screamed. There was sharpness in my chest.
I opened my eyes. I looked down to my chest and saw my pocketknife sticking out. There was a guy no more then 19 years old looking down on me from a startle position. His jet-black fell over his face. His skin was stark white. His eyes were black as well they were wide with horror. His features were all sharp. He looked like an angel. His hands were shacking violently. He bent down closer to me. He used one of his trembling hands to push my head gently to the left. He bit into my neck. I didn't scream which surprised me. He sat back up and bit into both of my writs. He had stopped shaking.
" Why are you not screaming?" He asked. His voice was deep and silky and made me feel warm all over.
" I'm not really sure." I said. I was trying to keep my breathing even. It hurt.
" I'm sending you to hell." He said. His black eyes never leaving mine.
" That's okay I was going there anyways." I said and tried to smile.
" I'm so sorry." He whispered
" For what? You saved me. I was going to kill myself." I whispered back to him.
" For killing you." He whispered.
Then I felt it, my world was going up in flames. I felt as if my whole body was on fire. I screamed. He was right. I was going straight to hell. He picked me up and cradled me in his arms as if I was his world. I kept screaming and screaming. I felt a strong breeze.
" Try to relax. It will help." He said over my screams.
I tried to but it was impossible. I clung to his shirt hopping that the fire would go out but it never did. It only got worse. He kept hearing his voice close to my ear. My heart was beating faster and faster. My chest tightened then it felt loose. The pain there had left. A new wave of the burning pain washed over me. I couldn't feel the breeze or hear his voice anymore all I felt was the pain. Then everything went black.
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