A/N This chapter doesn't hold any medical stuff, but I just want to remind you that I still don't know anything about medical stuff xD Just so you know. A few ages would fit, right? And surnames, and work. Because I feel like it, okay? Tell me if you want it, and I'll put it in the next chapter xD Reviews with some critics would be much appriciated, and I'm happy that people like this QwQ 'cuz I was worried there for a sec... Anyway, I'm still rambling xD ENjoy~

I DON'T OWN HETALIA.


Chapter 2

~Dreams~

"Remember this date Lutz. 'Cause this date next year, I'll be dead."

That was what Gilbert told Ludwig. Who told Feliciano. Who told me. Because apparently the potato bastard had mentioned my name in the confusing tears and worry filled phone call he had given my little brother, his boyfriend, just an hour ago.

"That bastard" was my first thought. Before I yelled a mantra filled with all the worst curse words I knew when I realized Antonio was coming over, so Feliciano couldn't bring Ludwig here. And the slow little brother of mine started crying until he realized that HE could go over to Ludwig instead! What a wonderful idea! Did he figure that one out himself? No. I did. And he finally got it after half an hour of desperate, frenetic crying.

I sighed deeply and fell down on the couch. Feli had rushed over to Ludwig, and there was twenty minutes before Antonio's shift ended, and another forty until he got here. An open space to think, Oh my Gosh! I hadn't had one since Feli was on a field trip three years ago. And I wasn't sure I liked them. I always ended up thinking of heavy stuff, like our parents, life or in this case; how the fuck I'd find a cure for a form of multiple organic failure. And a reason for Gilbert to live, but curing came first. Just how? The journal and medical record said they had tried everything, at least everything legal.

…Maybe it was time to go black? I'd probably lose my doctors' license.

"Hey honey, I'm home!" the cheerful voice of Antonio interrupted my depressing thought, and I let my head roll back so I could see him (upside down counts) standing in the door. "I brought cake!"

"You're early" I pointed out without actually pointing, but yeah. You know you get it.

"Yeah, I hurried for you, sweetie" he quickly took off his shoes and came over to the couch, leaning in and kissing my forehead. "And they let me go early. Is it okay to sleep over? I'll leave early in the morning, but maybe we can have breakfast together?" His bright smile caused my cheeks to burn and I nodded, not able to look away from the face shining with cheerfulness. Antonio and I had been dating for three years now; he was the one starting our friendship in high school, when he bothered me for a month without leaving me alone until I agreed on being his friend. When he stopped stalking me (let's face it, that was exactly what he did) and we hung out more naturally I realized how good of a friend he was. And when he a damn lot of years later confessed, I agreed on going out with him. To be honest I didn't love him in the beginning, but I soon grew to love him, everything about him. How he texted me good night every night, even if we hadn't talked for the entire day, how he almost always brought something, how soft he was to sleep on when the movie we watched and all the hugs he showered me with even if I told him to stop… Yeah, I loved that idiot.

"Sounds good" I mumbled, motioning for him to sit next to me. He kindly accepted it and sat down beside me, making the cushions bob up and down.

He put the plastic bag holding the cake on the table, taking out two paper plates, plastic tools and the cake itself. He really thought about everything when it came to romantic home nights. He carefully cut the cake and gave me the first piece, kissing me as he shoved the plate in my hands. "I love you Lovi" he whispered, his breath tickling my cheek.

"I love you too bastard…"

Xxx(OwO)xxX

"Francis wants to serve dinner to us tonight."

I glanced up from the newspaper at Antonio who sat across the table, poking around the cereals in his bowl.

"Define "us"," I said, straightening the paper.

"You, me, Kiku – Mattie loves Kiku – Feli, Luddy and Luddy's cousin if he wants to come. He heard about him and wants him to enjoy himself."

After that he continues talking, but he lost me. Francis knew about Gilbert? Does the whole world know about him or what? It'snot like he's some medical wonder… We just don't know what his sickness is.

"Lovi? Are you okay?"

Antonio waved his hand in front of my eyes, waiting for me to get back to reality. I blinked once, focusing on the brunette looking at me with worried green eyes. He's so different from Gilbert, so full of colors and light. It glows around him, even after a week of long working days and a long night of sex, he glowed with the happiness of living, and the excited glow of positive thinking.

"Y-yeah, yeah… I'm fine, Toni…"

I saw his face light up and I wanted to slap myself. Crap.

"You called me Toni!" He squealed and threw himself around my neck, nuzzling my cheek. "I'm so happy, Lovi!"

"Don't get used to it" I said but didn't try to push him away. Let him have his sweet moment. We're going on an exhausting dinner tonight anyway Might as well load my cuddle bar, next time might be far away.

I wrapped my arms around him and held him close, swiftly brushing my lips down his neck. He answered with kissing my cheek, slowly going lower, kissing down my jaw and chin, continuing with light sucking on my neck. I was completely aware that he'd probably leave a hickey, but right now I didn't care. As long as it was from Antonio, nothing mattered. I was his, and he was mine.

Many thought we lived together, but we didn't. I said I didn't want to live with my boyfriend with my baby brother still living under the same roof. Feli said he was fine, but I refused. I did love Antonio, yes, but I couldn't bring myself to live with him. Once we spent a week together, and I couldn't even stand that. As soon as I had anyone else than Feli that close, for a long time I felt suffocated. The week with Antonio ended with me curled up into a ball, and no one but Feli got me to relax, and it even took him a good forty minutes. After that, we decided we'd only stay together for as long as I wanted to, and when it got hard I'd tell him immediately, and when I got ready, we'd try to move together again. Slow and steady, just like the rest of our relationship. Nice and steady.

Suddenly he pulled away from my neck and I whimpered at the loss of the warm lips against my skin. Antonio smirked and gently touched the bruised skin, kissing my forehead.

"Sorry love, I have to go now. Be a good boy, okay? I'll pick you up at five."

I huffed and crossed my arms over my chest as Antonio laughed and walked away from my flat. I was left alone again, Feli still being over at Ludwig's. Now what? I really didn't want to spend the day alone, but Raivis would kill me if I showed up at work on my day off. What would I get done anyway?

I heard my cell phone beep somewhere in the flat, and not having much of a choice, I stood up to go look for it. It took me half an hour and another two beeps for me the find my phone, crushed between two cushions below a pile of Feli's clothes that for some reason lied on the couch in the living room and NOT WHERE THEY SHOULD BE IN HIS ROOM, CLOSET OR IN THE LAUNDRY.

When I flipped it open I had three new messages. One from Antonio, telling me that he was safely at work and how much he loved me, automatically I replied that it was great and I loved him too. The second was more surprising, it was Ludwig, asking me to talk to his brother. Just like that, "Can you talk to Gilbert?" was the exact contents. I didn't even bother answering. Not worth wasting texts on that. The third was from Feli, a long text telling me that he'd stay until they went to Francis dinner, and Ludwig wanted me to convince Gilbert to come, but oops, I didn't have his number so here~ you go, now call. Please? That was what it said. I stared at the number for a while, not bothering answering my brother's text, only staring at the number. I should call. Apparently the whole world wanted me to call, since Francis, Eduardo, Raivis, Ludwig and Feli only continued to get us together. Maybe they thought I didn't have enough friends. I don't want to be friends with him.

I threw my phone back on the couch, and turned to walk away, but I couldn't. Something held me back. Something wanted to hold me back. I turned around and stared at my black touch screen phone, swearing as I picked it up. To my own frustration, I realized I had already memorized Gilbert's number. Sighing I called him, waiting patiently for him to pick up.

"Welcome to my awesome phone, you're talking to the awesome me, what do you want?"

"Hey bastard, up for a coffee?"

Xxx(OuO)xxX

"Don't you have any dreams?" I slowly moved the spoon in perfect circles, following the edge of my cup full to the brim of the light brown colored latte. I didn't feel like drinking it. Sped out with milk was that little amount dark liquid, but how much milk you poured over it, the taste always stayed. It was dull, really irritating, and I hated it. I don't know why I drank it, I just knew that the distasteful drink stood in front of me on the dark wooden table, and that was enough reason to take the chance and play with it.

"They all died with my dog" Gilbert answered, taking a sip of his black coffee. Plain, black coffee, made by only coffee beans and some hot water. Gilbert seemed like a cup of coffee. When you looked at it, you couldn't see how deep it was and you didn't know if there was any milk, cream or anything else underneath the surface, you didn't know anything, and the only way to know was to ask or drink it. And since I didn't have anyone to ask, I drank.

"You had a dog?"

"Only for some years" Gilbert put the cup down and glanced out the window, looking at the people walking by. "After my parents threw me out, I got lonely. A friend of mine, whom I shared flat with, said that we should get a dog. So we did, we got this adorable little German shepherd dog, and we named him Schick, short for schicksal, German for destiny. He became my happiness. My life had been grey after I lost my family, I felt useless, empty. Schick filled that hole; he was someone who needed me, someone who was happy just to be near me. He always greeted me with a smile, I was the one taking him out on walks, and I loved him. Whenever I was sad, he curled up in my lap, no matter how big he got, and just laid there letting me pet him until I felt good again. And when I was happy, he was. He knew me, and I knew him. So it broke my heart when he got sick. He wasn't as filled with energy, he couldn't run as fast anymore, and he never greeted me at the door. He was my hero, and heroes never die. The vet said that he would get better, and I decided I wanted to become a vet to save him. I admired the vet that helped him, and he seemed to get better. He ran again, and he seemed happy. So it hit me like a lightning from a blue sky when he died." Gilbert made a pause, took a deep breath and I saw his eyes getting wet as he fought the tears. "One day he didn't come to greet me. One day I didn't hear anymore barking. One day the bowl was filled to the brim, just like in the morning. My roommate came to me and told me to stay calm. I asked him where Schick was, and he asked me to sit. I just obeyed, and he told me that they took him to the hospital. He didn't want to call me since he knew I was on a job interview. He died in surgery. I didn't even get to see him a last time. I didn't get to pet him, kiss him or tell him how much I loved him. As soon as he told me, I fled. I left everything in that flat, I just took my wallet and cell phone and ran away. I couldn't stand the flat where Schick has run around, I couldn't stand the neighborhood where we had gone on walks, I couldn't stand the store where I bought his food, or his toys. So I ran away, even changed country. I haven't heard from my roommate even since, I got a letter, a few months after. Telling me he buried him on the field where we played in the summer, the one with all the flowers we rolled around in and got the spots on the shirt that never got washed away, and we brought the smell with us home. In the end he said he understood, and he wouldn't bother me again since he was the one telling me to get Schick. I never blamed him, but it just got hard, you know? It haven't gone a day without I've thought of him, missed him, wishing I got more time. But I haven't once visited his grave. That would be accepting it. Accepting that he's… dead. I still wish… that one day, he'll come running to me again. Jumping, looking all happy and lick me all over the face. I wish I could roll on that field with him again."

I swallowed hard when he had finished talking. His eyes were covered with a film of tears, and I could see how he fought to hold them back. "…Why are you telling me this?" I asked with a voice as low as a whisper, thick with emotions after a good five minutes in silence. He started laughing, shaky but still a laugh.

"I don't know" still with tears in his eyes, carefully hidden behind a grin he turned to me. "I want someone to know the awesome story of mine, so I can live on through it?"

"But you won't die."

"Dream on, lil doc. That's the only thing one have forever right? Dreams."


A/N I cried a bit while writing that... Poor Schick TT_TT Send a review and make me happy~ OwO