A/N – Thanks for the reviews, suggesting that I most feverishly continue! Then I must…
Xxx
We were having a casual round of drinks now, all on Tom. And all the while, as I tried to digest the disgusting mixture of cocktail of some sort, he lamented on how he was so in love with Sam. He claimed he couldn't ever be away from him because they were connected. Then somehow it had me pondering on if Gibbs and I shared that connection of some sorts.
Of course not!
I mean, we were partners in crime yeah, guys who had each other's backs in danger. Not two mushy dudes who were desperately in love with the other. It's not like I savored the touch of Gibbs' hand and wanted him desirably to hold mine. Yet my eyes always moved to gaze upon Sam's intimate gestures concerning Jack: how he massaged his fingers, or caressed his handsome face.
Did we have to behave like that too?
"…walked for like an hour holding hands, until we got to this lovely secluded restaurant off Main and Fifth. And I said to Jack, I said, we have to just get dinner together. Because you don't know when it's the last moment, the last day you get to see each other", and he smiled at his lover.
"The last moment", I said dryly, my eyes latched on his fingers as they went up to touch Jack's cheek. The guy was too touchy.
Lifting my right hand, I moved it to Gibbs' left ear and fingered his earlobe. "Such cute ears he has", I said softly, my eyes on his. Gibbs only raised his eyebrows and half smiled.
Jack momentarily glared quizzically at me, whilst Sam gave me this sympathetic half smile.
"So…" Gibbs said after clearing his throat, "you guys live around here?"
I was lost. Was my intimate move that stupid?
"Yeah", Sam replied quickly, "we're from Third which is a corner away from here. A long way, you might say, but we like the walking. Marines never tire out easily."
"Damn right", Gibbs confirmed.
Sam lifted his glass and sipped from it, his eyes casually surveying Gibbs' face. "So Brian, is it?" That was the name he came up with as fast as possible after introductions were in order. Mine just happened to pass out as Tibby. People named their cats Tibby, not humans!
"Mmhmm", Gibbs said slowly sipping his Bourbon.
"You two from around here? Let me guess", Sam said smiling, "you have your own condo, or house, nice bedroom, living room, Persian rug, fireplace, basement –"
Gibbs chuckled, looking at me.
"We have our own place. All the above including a cat."
A cat? I was puzzled, yet accepted it.
"Plus, we have a flat screen TV", I said, "a sweet stereo system, a wicked game console, Blu Ray player", I continued all excited. There had to be a little of ME in there somewhere, true?
"You two got a water bed too?" And Sam winked at Jack who smiled. "Works wonders depending on your position, which in, I think Brian here looks like a topper."
This time, I choked over my cocktail, hand on my mouth, I coughed and felt my eyes burn.
Sam clapped me on the back, and laughed. So did Jack. I glared at Gibbs who casually met my eyes, his expression warm and comical, as if he was really enjoying the torment I was going through. I'd make him pay later.
"Hey it's okay to be at the bottom", Sam continued. I wanted to melt away on my chair and seep into the floorboards that instant. "Means you don't have to give much at all, just take. Lay back and get handled."
Thank gods an argument of some sorts erupted at the bar, or else I just might have punched him until he did shut up. It wasn't that I found his words insulting, and dirty. I just didn't want to entertain such thoughts in my mind. Because as he spoke of positions and water beds, visions of Gibbs lying on top of me flashed fiercely across my eyes like burning moving images. And my stomach tied itself in knots. My knees felt like jelly, and my lips among other things were twitching unnervingly.
My eyes registered on four couples now dancing on the floor. Within a short span of time, about twenty people had already occupied the Club, or should I call it more like a Country Club. As Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton belted out 'Islands in the Stream', I sighed. Right now I could just go home, crawl in bed and sleep like a log.
Jack had other plans.
As Dolly Parton's adaption to 'I will always love you' started to play, glee danced in his eyes. Taking Sam's hand softly, he stood up and pulled him up.
"Come on guys," he said smiling, "you must dance this one. A nice slow one to warm up the heart."
"Among other things", Sam said pulling his partner towards him. They turned to gaze at us.
Gibbs made a move to get up. But I kicked him under the table.
"No", I said without moving my lips and trying to fake a smile.
He smiled back at me and placing his palms on the table, he pushed himself up. Then holding his hand out, he awaited my approval.
"I don't feel so well", I lied, trying to make my expression look queasy. "I don't think –"
"Aw come on!" Sam urged. "Dance with your guy, you never know when it's gonna be the last moment you get a chance to!"
Last moments my ass. If this was going to be my last moment, then I would go to hell.
Anyway, stubbornly, I slowly lifted my butt off my chair, eyes on the table and moved around my chair. Gibbs retreated his hand and copied my move. My stomach really then started to feel terrible. I felt as if I was about to jump off a cliff without any guarantee that the ropes attached to me were gonna hold my weight. The whole idea before me was dazzlingly uninviting.
Yet deep down, a small voice, probably my messed up conscience said quietly, 'just do it'.
Gibbs waited until Sam and Jack were out of hearing distance and placed his hand on my shoulder. Looking back I glared at him.
"I don't want to do this", I said. "It's not my thing."
He gazed sympathetically into my eyes and offered a small smile.
"If it helps", he said quietly, "I don't like it either."
"Then why accept to do it?"
"Because", he said walking slowly next to me, "over the years I've learnt that a small objection can blow an entire operation. We've worked so hard on this case, I don't want it to end sour."
Knowing that he objected made me feel just a bit more settled. So as I turned to face him among the sea of couples dancing together, and he placed his hands lightly on my waist, I realized that maybe I could brush this off as just one of those funny moments between old buddies. Maybe I could smile through it and find it strangely amusing, and tease him whilst I was at it.
"First time?" I asked quietly, just to be safe, in case Sam or Jack were listening to us.
Gibbs gazed back at me quizzically.
"You mean dancing with another…"
"Yea", I confirmed smiling.
He was silent for a few seconds. "Back when we were deployed, one of the guys snuck an old radio into our camp. And sometimes when we knew weren't really in danger from outsiders hearing the faintest sound, he's turn it on." He moved that way, whilst I moved with him in time. "And we'd take turns dancing."
I studied his eyes. "Together?"
"Yup", he confirmed smiling. "Was just friends, comfort…then nothing serious. But all the while I figured the others would imagine dancing with their wives. Eyes closed, as they moved."
I didn't reply but only looked back at him quietly, not quite staring but much more of a gaze. There was Shannon, that was for sure, but to imagine how heartbroken it must have been for him to be away from her… Somehow just by being this close to him, hearing his words and watching his expression so closely, I felt and understood more than I anticipated for.
It was as if we connected somehow. In fact, I had always felt that way about Gibbs for as long as I could remember. Somewhere at the back of my mind, to me it always appeared as if he was so similar to me. Yet some things he did pissed me off and I never ever wanted to accept that I would have done the same thing had I been in his position.
And now Dolly's voice faded out and Cher's 'I found someone' came on, changing the mood as I was lost in thought. I tried to change my footing to match his rhythm, and somehow in the split of a second I stumbled and his arms were around me. Just for a moment, as awkward as the moment was, I would never admit that I felt a quick tremor come across my heart as he held me there. And when I stood up steady once again, his face came a little too close to mine, more than we could understand.
"Thanks", I said softly, diverting my eyes from his quickly. My palms were growing sweaty.
"DiNozzo…"
"Gibbs", I said without thinking. And Sam bumped into me, nudging my body intimately close to Gibbs.
It was just in time as the song took a rhythm turn and with our bodies together, as I felt his warmth, his chest so close to mine…I don't know what came across me, honestly. One moment I was this playful person, ready to make jokes and find humor in his dancing. And then with a push to bring our bodies so close only flustered me with indescribable feelings that threatened to daze me.
I metamorphosed into this man that felt that he had only known half of himself before but in a flash had discovered several moods and desires more tempting and wanting than at past. Suddenly I wanted Gibbs to just hold me close to him and keep me there. I felt captured in a moment that I had no definition for, yet it felt so right to me. I was confused.
Yet in return, as Cher belted out her words, Gibbs pulled me closer to him, his expression unreadable and he allowed our cheeks to rest together.
He moved with me, in time and against me. And I could only close my eyes and enjoy the feeling cascading and erupting through my body silently. I didn't care if he could feel my reaction to him, and my mind wasn't thinking straight, literally. What did you call this? A sudden change of thought? Was he feeling anything like it? I didn't care.
All I wanted was for him to continue making me feel this way, although it was tormenting and desirable. I didn't want it to stop. Was I suddenly demented and dangerously unraveling into some person I would not be able to handle? If this was madness then I wanted to be insane just to feel the moment, this moment. It was real.
Unconsciously I realized that I had grown dangerously hard in my pants and with him against me, his leg brushing next to mine…He suddenly felt it, all of me. I knew this because in a moment I felt him take in a sharp breath of air as his body slightly trembled against mine. And then moving our cheeks away, Gibbs lifted his hands to rest against either side of my face.
With my arms around his waist, I didn't know what else to do or feel, but I wanted to know what it felt like to have my lips meet his. He obviously felt the same way, but as I moved towards him, he pulled his head back, his blue eyes dazed.
"Gibbs…" I said softly, allowing my hand to move over the small of his back.
"What are you…doing", he whispered.
"I don't know…" I confessed, my eyes shadowed from confusion.
He was fighting to ignore me, yet I finally realized that he was seeing everything in my eyes. He felt me, how I responded to him. And we were both frightened.
Suddenly I found my lips pressed on his, my eyes closed. And everything, everyone around us disappeared instantly. My head felt dizzy, hands shaky and I just relaxed in that moment. I don't know how long it lasted, that awkward yet breathtaking kiss, but the next thing we knew, there was a thump behind us, near the doorway. In walked two beefy guys with guns raised. And in that split second, I was torn from the moment, as I reached for my gun.
The last thing I remembered before the commotion was shots being fired and people screaming, shouting. And then I was pushed to the ground by Gibbs as he fired his gun. With his palm pressed to my chest, as I lay there, I could only feel his lips on mine. My heart was racing.
And then everything went black.
When I woke up, I was in the hospital after suffering from a bullet to the shoulder. And after that day, Gibbs and I never spoke of that moment we shared ever again.
Xxx
A/N – Stupid ending right? I know! But that's it. It sucks to admit it but I am having these terrible writer's blocks these days, and I can't continue stories, drag them out too much. This was just to play around once more. Yet I feel as if I did you no justice in the end. Anyway, thanks for reading!
