Chapter 2
Note: Sorry, this chapter is heavily influenced by Whispers of the Heart and Little Prince. :D Again, thank you~
Nezumi was stunned by Shion's sudden refusal and it left him still in the middle of the crowd. He tried to look back to Shion but he couldn't; his body would not move.
His vision became blurry as he remembered Shion's spiteful gaze. He had seen that look before when Shion defended him from Rikiga and when they had infiltrated the Correctional Facility and killed one of the guards that hurt him. This time, instead of Nezumi's enemies, the gaze was directed at him and with more intensity.
It crippled his heart and shook every corner of his being that he was the cause of the pain and anger he saw in Shion's eyes. Nezumi was not stupid to not know why, but he had his reasons - reasons that stopped him from returning to No. 6 which now backfired on him like a mocking joke from a bored unknown god. He never intended to go back, and even if he did, it would be in a much later time. But the world is cruel.
He gripped the tattered scarf and felt its thin texture – over-worn from too much use. He regained a little composure and tried to walk amidst the sea of people and thought that the scarf was now the reflection of what he did to Shion. Guilt swallowed him as his shoulder hardened, his lungs became void of air, and his throat hoarse as sand.
His own selfish reasons be damned, he wanted his Shion back the way he used to be.
It was one sickening joke for Shion to see Nezumi after ten long years.
He walked past the crowd and settled in a nearby park where he could get some air away from the dizzying noise of the people. The park was clear as people were now in the capital enjoying the shows and performances. His feet were tired from walking and his breathing uneven as he slumped into one of the empty swings. Shion felt the cold metal against his skin as he wrapped his finger to the chains and leaned his head against it. The sky was glittering thanks to the abundance of the stars tonight but he was not interested. No matter how beautiful the sky now, he could not look at it without seeing the face of Nezumi.
Nezumi was that. He was that star. He was the star that blanketed the boring black sky. He was the star that writers like Shakespeare talked about in their stories. He was an unreachable beautiful star that he longed to touch, that he longed to hold, but just like all stars, they are only meant to be cherished from afar. And adamantly, Shion knew, despite the glamour of the stars above, they were practically dead creatures floating in the sky. He could not help but wondered if he was that kind of a star too.
Shion rose from his seat after an hour of clearing his head. He wanted to go back to the capital and enjoy his vacation regardless if Nezumi was there or not. He was also surprised by his reaction, but he guessed that the feelings he bottled up for years finally found its much needed release.
Shion knew that he loved Nezumi more than anyone else, but right now, the pain was just too much to take. He would have understood the situation better if from the very beginning, Nezumi explained to him that he would no longer see him anymore, but he made a promise with him and then he abandoned him. Shion built his world, as he built No. 6, to the idea that Nezumi would come back to him one day, but as years passed, that hope only turned into a potent poison that weakened him and destroyed him.
That was the thing with making people your home - you were left nowhere when they suddenly disappeared from your life. You were now reduced to a homeless human being with nothing and no one to return to. You were now lost in your own little world, never to feel safe anymore.
The capital was high in spirits. People were chattering as they watched the performers on the streets and children were laughing and dancing around with their friends while devouring their ice creams and cotton candies. Colorful lights hung above the streets like piñatas to liven up the street while paintings, drawings, sculptures, and all kinds of artwork turned the common streets into a gallery.
Shion stood in amazement as he witnessed all these. The scene lifted his mood so much that he momentarily forgot the cause of dark thoughts looming on his mind. He spotted a man selling books and he came rushing towards the store. He looked so happy grabbing everything that sparked his interest, which caused the old man let out a small chuckle.
"Young man, slow down! The night is young. Take your time looking around," the old man said to Shion while chuckling heartily.
A shy smile crept to Shion's smile and nodded to the old man's direction. "I know. I am sorry. I just am really happy to see the books you have in your store. "
"It looks like it," the man replied while smiling as he sat on his chair behind the table. After a while, Shion grabbed the books he had chosen and placed it on top of the man's table. As the man the checked and counted the books, a gold rose contained in a glass bell caught Shion's eyes.
"Sir, are you also selling that one?" Shion pointed his finger to the figurine and looked at the old man.
"Oh, sorry young man but this is not for sale. It's my lucky charm." He looked back again to Shion as he held the figurine in his hand and offered it to Shion to have a closer look.
Shion took it and examined it, amazed by the beauty and simplicity of the lone rose trapped in the bell jar. "Sir, if it is okay to ask, how did you acquire it?"
"Ah, it's a long story, but I guess I'll just tell you a bit. It was a gift from a special someone whom I haven't seen for a long time now. I am not sure if she is still alive, but I suppose that after years of not seeing each other, I just learned to accept the fate we had. So ever since then, I told myself that wherever I go I will bring this little charm with me to remind myself that she's been with me all the time."
"But doesn't it make you sad or angry? You haven't seen her for a long time and you do not even know the reason why?"
A light chuckled escaped the man's throat and he said, "I was, child. But I love her dearly - that's why I endure."
Shion did not say anything back to the old man as he stared at the golden rose. He felt the eyes of the old man on him briefly before they went back to packing the books Shion bought from him. Shion was lost in his own thoughts that the man had to tap on his shoulder to get his attention.
"Ah, young man, don't think too much! Here is your bag."
Shion snapped back to reality and smiled shyly again to the old man while he fished out for his wallet to his bag. He gave the man his money and waited for his change. As soon as he received the change coins, he mumbled his thanks and turned to walk away but was stopped when the old man spoke.
"Ah, I just remembered. Someone who was probably your age stopped by the shop a while ago. He was tall, pale skinned, and his hair tied in a bun. He was not as kind as you but he was a charming lad," the man chuckled. "He was also interested in my little charm. The funny thing was that he also asked me about my special friend, a question that was slightly different from yours."
Shion could not believe the things this man in front of him was telling him. It could be Nezumi but... He shook that thought away and convinced himself that it could be anyone. He tried to compose himself but he knew by the way the man was looking at him that he knew who he was talking about. He wouldn't wanted to know more but he could not kept his curiosity at bay and blurted out, "What did he ask you, sir?"
"He asked me if I was angry or sad when she left me and if, when she returns, will I still accept her."
"What did you tell him then, sir?"
"The same, my child. I love her dearly, that's why I could endure the pain, look past the anger, and accept her. I am certain of that."
Shion tried to smile at the old man and murmured his thanks. He then waved goodbye and walked away from the shop, his thoughts again filled with Nezumi.
Nezumi tried his best to look for Shion throughout the day whenever he had the time. Nezumi had gotten his fair share of fame and was always requested for his performance. He did try acting when he left No. 6 but did not succeed. Theater performance was restricted to a very small circle and since he was practically an outsider to all, it was impossible for him to land a role that would feed him. What fed him were his side jobs that he'd rather not remember. The things you must do to survive, Nezumi always thought whenever the idea crossed his mind. After a long time of being lost and doing random jobs, he found himself singing, performing in front of the people the best option he could have to start living a life. He was a natural born singer with a voice that so gentle yet strong; it moved people. His soothing and calming voice made him popular to the crowd as well as his mysterious aura. Unbeknownst to others, Nezumi lived alone, away from his home.
Early that night, Nezumi was scheduled to perform at one of the stages across the capital. The idea was to fill the night with music and with different songs coming from the different streets of the capital. Nezumi stepped in front of the stage after the singer prior him performed and started fixing and testing the mic and his guitar. He sat on the high chair provided and adjusted the mic just right below his chin. He changed his clothes from the early morning and now wore a black pull-over, Shion's scarf around his neck, black distressed jean, and motorcycle boots. His hair, instead of its usual bun, was down. It was covering half of his face while the other side was tucked behind his ear.
Nezumi introduced himself briefly and started strumming his guitar until it sounded coherent and a tune was serenading the people. He opened his mouth and let his voice reach the ears of the people around. Soon enough, the crowd stopped moving to watch him perform, all in awe of the mysterious man in front of them. The crowd gathered and got bigger, even the tenants and sellers stopped what they were doing to watch him perform. As Nezumi watched the vast crowd, he could not help but scan it to search for the person he wanted to see tonight. He kept on searching the sea of people, hoping for a miracle to be granted. After four songs and no Shion in sight, Nezumi grew weary of singing, knowing that the person he would wanted to reach was not here to listen.
Now hopeless, Nezumi strummed the chords for his last song and just like a miracle, a silver haired man popped amidst the crowd and Nezumi knew that he just had to do something to make the man stop and listen to him.
Shion met the lingering gaze Nezumi was giving him. The crowd was becoming restless as Nezumi kept on strumming the same chord yet not moving on to the next. He was surprised to see a crowd this big watching Nezumi to perform but he knew that the raven-haired man was indeed a sight to be seen. Not wanting to cause a scene, Shion turned away from the crowd, away from Nezumi, but froze midway when Nezumi stopped strumming his guitar and spoke.
"I know it's been ten years and I broke my promise. Forgive me. Will you still dance with me? Will you still kiss me in an attempt to say good night? Or will you tell me again that you find yourself drawn to me and that nothing scares you more than the thought of losing me again?"
Shion looked back and saw Nezumi put down the guitar against his lap, the mic not connected anymore with the stand as Nezumi held it tightly.
Seeing this, Nezumi breathed heavily, closed his eyes, and started humming a familiar tune. As he opened his eyes, he let the words roll out of his tongue and sang the piece he performed when he thought he had lost Shion.
Time passed like a blur in a matter of seconds. The crowd grew still. The street became silent as the voice of Nezumi carried their souls to a quiet place. People stood in admiration as they watched him, but Nezumi didn't care. All he could see was the man with snow-colored hair looking back at him.
