A/N: Revised April 3, 2018
Chapter II: Scorch and Burn
There was a point, directly after the war and Sasuke's failed rebellion, where Sakura had thought the two of them would've been able to tolerate one another.
She hadn't trusted him at the time, nor did she love him—she'd been hurt once too often—but Naruto did. Sakura had been young and slightly hopeful. Not naive, per say, but wanting to believe the best in people, that things could and would get better. When Naruto had finally handed Sasuke's ass to him, Sakura thought that maybe she and their erstwhile teammate could settle into something resembling an ambivalent distance. She would smile and say "hello," while Sasuke would frown and grunt a "hnh" back. At night when she went to sleep, she could finally stop worrying that he was going to break in to kill her with a chidori to the chest. It had been a pervasive fear before that.
The Uchiha had been a mess when Naruto had dragged him into the hospital tent. Constant fighting, several large-scale tragedies and numerous breakdowns did that to a person, especially for someone high-strung and unhinged as Sasuke. He'd had a hole in his stomach the size of a fist, and was suffering from severe chakra depletion, bleeding heavily. Naruto had been forced to pick him up and shove him onto the makeshift cot. As he'd done so Sasuke began rambling about peace. He just wanted peace, he was going to make everyone want peace, why couldn't they see that, and kaasan, where's kaasan? You fucking liar, she's not dead, I want kaasan. Get Itachi, Itachi will tell me the truth.
It had been the most awkward, uncomfortable thing Sakura had been witness to seeing. Standing there, still swaying from the aftereffects of genjutsu, she'd had to watch as Naruto told a clearly delirious Uchiha that his kaasan had been dead for a long, long time, and so was Itachi, because Sasuke had killed him. Yes, his otousan was dead too. Otousan would've been proud of him, Naruto amended, for being the strongest and discovering the truth. Your parents loved you, Sasuke, he'd said gently. Sakura's heart ached. Don't ever forget that.
When Sasuke had clued in to what time it was and remembered what had happened, he'd sobbed. He'd cried harder than Sakura had ever seen him do, crippled by grief and utterly depleted of energy. His hands had been red and sticky, his eyes leaking blood. Naruto was forced to lock him to the aforementioned cot, and as he'd done so Sasuke had ranted about failed revolutions and how nothing ever went right for him, he was tired, so goddamn tired, just make it stop, please, fucking kill me already.
Naruto had bit back his own tears, but he hadn't wavered. Still, it had been too much for Sakura to take in. She'd hated the war and she'd hated the Uchiha. Unable to stand it, she'd promptly left the tent and thrown up in a bucket. When Sakura returned, Sasuke had been put into a medically induced coma, his middle bandaged and chakra restraints around his wrists and ankles. Everyone had known he was too far gone to let loose.
"Think you can take care of him for awhile?" Naruto had asked, his gentle expression cracking under the strain of their collective grief. "I have to… I mean, I'm sure he wouldn't mind."
Sakura knew Sasuke would mind, but she'd still made the effort for Naruto. He deserved her help and so much more. By that point she was willing to give him the world, so long as things got better. She needed someone to stop the screaming inside her head.
"Sure," she'd said slowly, already dead on her feet and mouth tasting of bile. "But stay close, alright? He's—"
"I know," Naruto replied, a large, painful grin splitting his features. When he'd spoke again, his voice had cracked. "Don't worry. Sasuke's back for good. We're family, now. The only one he has."
Sakura had known it was a lie, but she wanted to believe him. She'd wanted so badly to put the past behind her: all of it, including Sasuke. Only that night, he'd woken up blind.
Sakura was dozing in her chair when she'd heard the crash. When she'd looked up it was to see Sasuke hyperventilating and falling haphazardly out of the cot, his restraints broken, hair wild and eyes spinning. Blood ran down his cheeks as the sheets tangled around his legs.
"My eyes," he'd babbled, clawing his way across the floor to gods know where. "My eyes, I can't see, who took them—"
And Sakura—bleeding heart, still hopeful Sakura, who'd just wanted to leave her childhood behind her—had gone to him anyways. She'd tried to pull him back into bed, but Sasuke had been too worked up to go anywhere, so she left him on the floor. The only thing that'd stopped him from driving his fist through her chest in a fit of panic was that he'd been out of chakra. Sasuke had been so tired that he'd collapsed against her, his head on her shoulder and soft black hair brushing along her chin.
Sakura had used one of her hands to run soothing circles along his back, the other to wipe the blood from his face. He'd looked a mess.
"I can't see," he'd said, even though his mangekyō had been spinning—red and bright and frenetically angry. Sakura made sure not to stare at it directly, but had carefully dabbed at the fresh blood with the base of her palm. Green chakra flowed from her fingertips as she'd repaired the damage as quickly as he created it. Desperately, she'd wished for Naruto. He was the one that should have been dealing with this, not her.
"Sasuke, you can see. You will, alright? I just need to fix it, and you need to calm down. You're hurting yourself." When the green enveloped her hand and tracked across his eye, Sasuke had pressed against her, blindly huddling inwards as he'd turned his face towards her shoulder.
"Sakura?" he'd mumbled.
"Yeah," she'd said softly. "It's me."
Sasuke let out a soft moan, pressing even further into the crook of her neck. Sakura had wanted this sort of physical closeness from him before, but not now. Never again. There was too much bad blood between them and all she'd craved was distance. Still, she loved Naruto, and Naruto loved him. Resigned and aching, Sakura had wrapped an arm around his broad back, the other returning to stroking his hair. There had been nothing romantic about the scene. Holding Sasuke was akin to holding a hysterical child; a giant, homicidal child with his finger on the trigger and the world set to explode. He was a walking time bomb with a brain, and it had taken her a good ten years to see that. She'd been so foolish.
"Want me to get Naruto?" she'd asked. He shook his head, teeth chattering against her neck, his blood smearing across her collarbone as he went into a state of shock. Sasuke's arms had locked up, his slender fingers spasming into hooks. Life is cruel, Sakura remembered thinking. She'd leaned over and grabbed a blanket, wrapping it around his shoulders. The two of them had been so goddamn pitiable.
"Missed you," he mumbled against her neck. "Missed you a lot. Don't leave. Itachi's outside. He's going to kill us like kaasan."
Sakura sighed loudly and prayed for patience. She'd been so, so tired, even then. "Sasuke, Itachi isn't here. We've been over this, remember?"
"Yes he is. He's hiding behind the door. Always hiding, but you step out and he runs you through. I can't see. Someone took my eyes. Fucking Asura, he took my eyes, thinks he's otousan's favorite. I'm the best, they're mine, mine, I deserve them—"
She shouldn't have said anything in that moment. She really shouldn't have, but she'd just spent an eternity stuck in his genjutsu where he'd shoved his hand repeatedly through her chest. Sakura's good will was all used up.
"Itachi didn't run me through," she'd said, ignoring the heavy weight of him leaning against her; the way his teeth chattered loudly as he curled into her for warmth. She was stronger than that. "You did."
"No I didn't," he mumbled. He'd sounded even more child-like in that moment, terrified and full of blatant confusion. Sasuke's skin had burned with the fever. "I didn't. Itachi lies. Don't listen to him. Left you on a bench so you wouldn't get cut up like kaasan. I 'member."
It was too much, too soon. She couldn't deal with him like this. Sakura didn't want to be the only one that remembered what he'd done. It was too heavy a burden and she ached everywhere.
At that moment, Naruto and several other nins had arrived at the tent. After much screaming on Sasuke's part and additional ranting about his "glorious revolution," they'd knocked him out and gotten him back to bed. Sakura had remained on the floor, running her hands absently across her bloodied collarbones, only to draw back and see her fingers come away dyed with red.
"Sorry," Naruto had exclaimed, quickly crouching in front of her and drawing her into a fierce, desperate hug. He'd smelt like wood smoke and antiseptic, Sakura remembered clearly. "I'm sorry, Sakura-chan. I shouldn't have left. But we'll get through this. We will. We're family."
Sakura didn't have the heart to tell him that she thought his beautiful dream was a lie.
The next morning she'd returned to the tent, intending to help the other medics care for their more difficult patients. Sasuke's fever had broken during the night, and he was no longer delirious, but when he'd seen her enter the room he'd looked at her like she was Itachi incarnate.
Wild-eyed and hyper-panicked, he'd chucked his bedside table in her direction. Sakura had barely managed to dodge it, she'd been so surprised. Naruto had stepped between them, gripping Sasuke's face between his hands to keep him steady.
"Not her!" Sasuke snarled, his voice cracking with anxiety as he'd gripped Naruto's hands with his own. "Never her! Why's she here?! Send her away!"
And that had been it for Sakura. The end. Like a piece of porcelain shattering against the floor, her resistance to how much he loathed her—how incompatible they'd been from the beginning—simply vanished. She was done with him. She didn't even have the energy to fake affection for Naruto's sake.
That day she'd handed her supplies over to Shizune, giving the kunoichi instructions on how to care for Sasuke before walking away. They never talked to each other outside of official business again. At least, not intentionally.
"So you want a mission," Naruto said slowly, poking contemplatively at the pork floating along the top of his bowl. "A long one."
Sakura nodded and sipped at her tea, her own bowl of sho-yu ramen untouched.
"Yeah. Still medicinal based, but farther away. Maybe in one of the border towns? I could set up a clinic there, make it a volunteer-thing. They're always low on supplies and it would foster a lot of good will towards Konoha."
Naruto was frowning and uncharacteristically out-of-appetite, picking at his food instead of wolfing it down. Sakura tried to put a damper on her panic, the little voice at the back of her brain that was warning her that the Hokage knew something was wrong. She needed this. She needed to get away from the village, even if it was only for a bit.
"Something the matter?" she asked casually. Naruto finally took a bite of his meal, only it wasn't pork and noodles now, but bits of bone and liver and the ever-present worms. Sakura could hear his teeth crunching through the marrow as the insects slithered past his lips. She quickly looked away.
"Sasuke won't like it," he stated blandly. Sakura didn't look back, but she did frown, her hands clenching so hard around her teacup she almost cracked it.
"Why wouldn't he like it?" He had no reason not to like it. He didn't give a rat's ass when it came to her well-being, and he wasn't even involved with patrolling the border. Sasuke was the leader of a goddamn death squad. Sakura looked back to Naruto, and immediately wished she hadn't. He was currently gulping down a slice of human liver. If she squinted, Sakura could make out the tell-tale splatter of blood across his pristine white robes.
"You know why he doesn't like it. Bastard's paranoid about safety. You should see how bitchy he gets when anyone other than the LSF leaves the village."
Sakura wanted to scream. It didn't matter what Sasuke thought, because he wasn't the Hokage. Naruto was. Instead she settled for tapping her brittle nails in annoyance against the counter-top. On the other side, the latest waitress to join Ichiraku's staff was looking at Sakura's untouched bowl with consternation.
"Is the food not to your liking, Haruno-san?" she asked. Naruto looked up; first to the waitress, then to Sakura, his bright blue eyes narrowed in suspicion. Behind them a red paper lantern hanging outside the door bobbed on an errant gust of wind. Before Naruto could get any ideas, Sakura quickly interjected.
"It could use something else. More broth, perhaps?"
The waitress's eyes widened, and she quickly reached for the bowl. "Of course, Haruno-san. I'm so sorry! Normally we use the appropriate—"
"It's fine, it's fine! My sense of taste is off these days, I guess. It's my fault, not yours."
When the waitress moved away, Sakura turned back to Naruto, her fingernails resuming their drumming across the tabletop. She tried to interject warmth into her voice, but her nervousness was beginning to show. "Honestly, though. Does it matter if Sasuke doesn't like it? He's not even in charge of border patrol."
Naruto looked towards her with a mouthful of noodles. Sakura tried not to gag at the sight of fresh blood coating the lower half of his face. His left eyebrow raised in derision, but after he finished slurping down his spoonful of ramen, he spoke with a voice that was full of concern.
"Sakura-chan, it's Sasuke," he intoned, his eyes searching hers for some sort of emotion that Sakura was unfamiliar with. She didn't know why he kept stressing that point, nor did she have time for it. Gods, she was feeling sick. She didn't know how she was going to get through her meal. Sakura closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose, willing herself not to cry.
"Please, Naruto. I just need a break. You said it yourself."
"I said you needed to take some time off. A year long border mission is not a vacation." His voice was flat and unimpressed. At that moment the waitress returned with Sakura's meal. Naruto's mood immediately improved.
"Didn't know you were so picky over ramen, Sakura-chan," he teased with an eyebrow wiggle bits of liver sticking in the spaces between his teeth. He leaned towards her, stirring noodles around his bowl. "C'mon, eat up!" Sakura looked down at her own bowl, then quickly looked away, trying to moderate her breathing. She could do this. She could. Just rip the bandage off.
"Can I go to the border?" She needed an answer, and she needed one now. Naruto sighed through a mouthful of worms.
"I guess so," he mumbled, words muffled by the wet sounds of mastication; the crunch of little bones breaking beneath his teeth. "But I gotta work out the details, alright? Sasuke's gonna be pissed and I don't want him screaming at me again. He scares Hinata when he's like that."
"He won't."
"Yeah, yeah. Eat up! You're too skinny, Sakura-chan. If you're not careful, you're gonna blow away in the wind."
Not looking at her bowl, Sakura took her first bite. She tried to pass off her audible gag on the food being "too hot" as she felt worms and bits of liver slither down her throat. It tasted like blood. Like salt and bile and the sinew of muscles. It's the corpses, she though with dawning realization. The people I couldn't bring back. I'm eating my failures.
Again she took a bite, and then another, her foot jigging beneath the table and eyes watering as she tried to swallow it all.
Naruto continued to babble on about nothing, before switching to babbling about Hinata. He loved her hair, he said, and her cooking was the best. The smell of medicinal herbs drying on wooden racks reminded him of home. They went and visited Neji's grave every day. Kakashi's, too.
"You visit the cemetery to see your folks?" he asked. Sakura finished the last bit of her noodles, quickly pushing the broth away and hiding her hands in her pockets to obscure the tremors.
"Yes. Once a week."
Naruto nodded, then grinned. "The bastard brought them flowers last night. They're yellow this time, and really nice! You should stop by and take a look." Something ugly sprung to life inside Sakura's chest, twisting and acidic. It was so strong that it drowned out the taste of the blood.
"Tell him to stop. It doesn't concern him."
Naruto laughed and slapped her back good-naturedly. The force was so strong it rattled her bones. Sakura had to quickly reach up to slap a hand over her mouth to keep projectile vomit from flying everywhere. Naruto yelped as his hand hit the wing of her shoulder blade.
"Geeze, Sakura-chan, your shoulders are so bony!" he exclaimed. Then, "of course it concerns him. You know how big Sasuke is on family, all traditional n' stuff."
Sakura knew exactly where the conversation was heading, and she loathed him for it. "Naruto, I don't want to talk about how he killed my parents, alright? I don't. I wish you would just drop it."
Immediately the blond-haired Hokage sobered up. An uncomfortable silence fell between them. When Naruto spoke again he sounded terribly sad. "Sorry. I shouldn't have done that." He let out a self-deprecating laugh and Sakura didn't have to look up to know that he was awkwardly running a hand across the back of his head. "I just figured it's been ages, y'know? And Sasuke's upset these days. The Clans—"
Sick. She was definitely going to be sick. Sakura could taste the blood coating her tongue and throat. She roughly pushed back her stool and stood.
"Do you think I could cut our meal short?" she said, keeping her eyes trained on the tabletop. "I just remembered that I have to prep some notes for an experimental surgery at the hospital."
With detached horror Sakura watched as Naruto's hand snaked into her field of vision, gripping her own and holding it gently in his. His fingers were warm, his palm broad and tanned. Her own skin had a grayish cast, and she could see the outline of bones poking through along her knuckles and wrist.
"Of course, Sakura-chan. I'd do anything for you. You know that, right?"
"I'm going to hold you to that. Process my request."
"Sure, sure," he agreed amiably, then leaned forward, his voice taking on a mischievous hint. "Hey, want an escort?"
Sakura would have groaned in annoyance if she hadn't been terrified of puking first. "I don't need an escort, Naruto."
"Sure you do!" he declared, then leaned forward even further, cupping his hand around his mouth in a conspiratorial whisper. He was smiling so widely the skin around his eyes was crinkling. "Can I send Cat-san? I think he likes you. He's been watching the entire meal."
Sakura looked up as he said that, a flare of panic sparking beneath her breastbone. Not fair. Not fair at all. He knew no one liked her, and they both knew all he wanted was to have her monitored. Watched, as if she were someone suspicious. The reality of the whole situation burned.
"I said I'm fine. He's your escort, not mine."
"Nah," Naruto said, waving his free hand in dismissal. "I've got him on loan from Sasuke while the LSF is in town! You know he's the one that works with the Clans." With that the Hokage leaned back in his seat, cupping his hand around his mouth as he hollered ungraciously up at the rooftop. Sakura winced at the volume.
"OI! WHISKERS! GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE!"
"Naruto, please!" she hissed, trying to free her hand. "I'm fine!" Even as she did so a black and white figure blurred into existence behind them. Sakura felt her dread build as the Anbu unfurled and straightened. She caught the flash of bright red nails and the tell-tale tuft of white blond hair, poking out from beneath his hood.
"Haruno-san," he said, without inflection. Sakura's jaw was tight as she spoke.
"Cat," she nodded in acknowledgement, and he nodded back. "I don't need an escort." The Hokage wasn't hearing it.
"Nonsense, Sakura-chan!" He was oddly serious, and for a single, horrifying second Sakura thought that he knew. "I insist."
Sakura let the other nin escort her home. She couldn't risk anymore questions.
The Anbu was quiet the entire way there, jumping from tree to tree as she quickly walked along the road. Sakura's nerves were too shot for her to attempt anything other than the civilian path, on foot and grounded. The world spun, her arms crossed tightly over her chest as she gnawed on her bottom lip. She was so focused on putting one foot in front of the other—on not puking up her guts—that the world started wobbling. When she did trip she was too distracted to keep herself from falling.
Sakura hit the ground hard. Then the embarrassment set it.
She'd tripped. She'd actually tripped. In public, in front of another nin. The shame was so great that she wanted to curl up and die. The itching sensation beneath her skin made her want to rip off her flesh, just to get to the aching.
The Anbu didn't catch her, but soon after she fell Sakura saw a pair of sandal-clad feet with bright red toenails come to stand in front of her. A moment later the nin bent down, palm up as he offered her his hand. Up close she could see his nails were actually claws, over an inch long and razor sharp.
"You'll be alright," he said softly. His hand was open and inviting, free of judgement. There was no anger behind his voice. Just a mellow, emphatic kind of support.
Full of shame, Sakura reached over and grabbed his hand, biting her bottom lip as he quickly helped her up. He did so without comment, taking care not to cut her with his claws. It was odd being around nins with visible bloodlines, Sakura thought numbly. She didn't see them all that often. Briefly she dwelt on her memories of the long-dead Kisame, before wondering where the perpetually belligerent Suigetsu had escaped to. Sasuke's teammate was prone to lurking around Konoha, and he was a brat.
"You're one of Uchiha's?" she asked. The Anbu nodded again.
"Yes."
Sakura looked up at his face, trying not to glare. The white blond hair that was whispering around the edges of his mask had escaped even further. "Don't tell him about this, understand?"
"Yes, Haruno-san." He didn't blink or hesitate.
Unable to stand the sight of his hair any longer—the slight imperfection—Sakura reached up, grabbing the wisps and quickly tucking them beneath his hood. He stiffened as she did so, fingers clenching, and it was only them that Sakura realized he was still holding her free hand. The shinobi's claws were curled carefully around the top of her palm.
"Keep it hidden when you're in town, alright?" she told him. "Your hair makes you easy to spot." He nodded in compliance. She should have known. She should have realized right away that the nin was one of Sasuke's, and Sakura hated herself for not thinking of it. The entire Strike Force was notoriously unsubtle, with the exception of Sai and maybe one or two others. Fuck, was she ever a fool.
"Thank you," the Anbu said. He still hadn't let go of her. Sakura didn't respond and removed her hand anyways, unable to suppress the visible shudder that raced down her spine as his nails scraped across the top of her palm.
Once they arrived at her apartment and the Anbu left, Sakura hastily completed her ritual and marked down another 'CLEAR.' Afterwards, she rushed to the bathroom where she promptly threw up the entire contents of her stomach.
No ramen, never again. She was sick of it.
Her mission had been approved.
Shizune was taking over her duties at the hospital while she was gone, and Naruto had found her a town that was far away from any hotspots. Sakura was cleared to set up her clinic in the border region between Fire and Wind, where she would stay for the rest of the year. The only caveat to the entire deal was that she had to hitch a ride out of town with Sasuke's squad. Once they reached the border, she'd turn south and they'd continue west. There was trouble on the horizon, but no one had told her what it was. Sakura didn't care.
According to the rumors, the Last Uchiha was upset with the whole arrangement.
"Sakura-chan," Naruto had warbled, slumping further and further behind his desk until he was a puddle of Hokage robes on the floor. "Help me. Sasuke's on the warpath."
"He's your problem, not mine." Sakura said, not looking at him as she'd scanned the mission report. The village's name was Tōbetsu: small and out of the way, in an area of zero military importance. Good.
Naruto had moaned and covered his face with his hands, rolling across the floor. "So cruel, Sakura-chan. Abandoning me to the bastard! And after everything I've done for you!"
"Get off the floor, Hokage-sama, or Gaara will be my new favourite."
"Never!"
Ino's response was more measured.
They met early in the morning on the day Sakura was set to leave, at a small eatery near the front gates to Konoha. Ino ordered her meal and Sakura stuck with her tea. All her personal belongings were already packed, shoved into a single knapsack that Ino called "beyond puny." Her medical supplies for the extended trip took up two duffel bags, and halfway through the year more supplies would be delivered. Sakura had yet to seal them in a scroll and currently they were sitting by her left leg on the floor. Ino was subdued as she finished her breakfast.
"Are you sure you're up for this?" she asked, not meeting Sakura's eye. "You're looking really rough around the edges, and the border regions can be harsh."
"I'll be fine," Sakura assured her. "I passed my physical." She had, albeit barely. There was no way she was letting Naruto see the actual results. Ino's full lips twisted into an uncomfortable grimace as she swallowed a mouthful of okayu. She put her spoon down and folded her hands in front of her, looking straight at Sakura. The truth was blurted out in a rush.
"I don't think you are," she said. "Sakura, I mean it. You look sick. You need to let Shizune check you out."
She wasn't sick. She was a medic-nin, and if she were ill she would've known it by now. It was just the lingering in Konoha that was killing her.
"I'll be fine." Sakura reiterated somewhat testily. It was warm that morning, but Sakura had dressed in jounin pants and a long-sleeved shirt, over which she'd worn her medic's gear and a hooded jacket, similar to Aburame's. "I'm hitching a ride with the LSF. There's no safer place to be in the country." It was something Ino couldn't argue with, and Sakura knew it.
They said their goodbyes; Sakura's tense and stilted, Ino's withdrawn and angry. Afterwards, Sakura picked up her duffle bags and headed to the rendezvous point to loiter around with the rest of the Strike Force. There were nearly fifty LSF waiting there, as they traveled en mass.
Sasuke's team was considered overkill by any nin with half a brain. It was full of former Anbu, and almost all of them had bloodline limits and clan-based jutsus. They wore no masks to hide their identities, making up for what they lacked in stealth with raw power and speed. After the war, Sasuke had come up with the idea of integrating all the clans into a single platoon. It kept them focused and stopped the infighting. Sakura knew several of the LSF by name—a handful of the Hyugas were among them, Hanabi included, along with Suigetsu and Juugo—but not enough.
Most of Sasuke's platoon were talking quietly amongst themselves when she arrived. Others sharpened weapons or counted their scrolls last minute. There were a couple non-clan members with them—they were conspicuous in their blandness compared to the bloodline nins—but Sakura didn't see Sai. Hanabi waved her over as she waded through the crowd, walking up to her with a sway to her hips and a friendly smile on her face. Her long dark hair was tied behind her, her clothing distinctly Hyuga. For a moment she looked so much like Neji in the way that she held herself that Sakura's insides ached.
"Sakura," she said, a sly smile working its way across her lips. She reached out, palm open, and Sakura put her bag down to grip Hanabi's hand. The younger woman pulled her into a sisterly hug, and Sakura returned it with minimal awkwardness. The two of them were friendly with one another, as Sakura understood the other girl's drive for perfection, while Hanabi admired her dedication. Naruto had also married Hinata, which helped.
When she pulled back Hanabi stayed close, keeping her hand clasped around Sakura's forearm as she balanced her weight on her left hip.
"I heard you were joining us. Just to the border, is it?"
Sakura nodded, but didn't smile. "Just to the border, then I'm heading south." Hanabi wasn't gripping her hard, but the place where she held her ached badly, as if she'd been punched. Hanabi sniffed imperiously, tilting her head up and looking down her nose at Sakura in a gesture that was clearly disapproving. The younger woman was aristocratic to the core.
"I'm surprised the Hokage let you go."
Sakura knew where the conversation was headed and quickly veered her off. "You know Naruto. Easily swayed by the promise of ramen. How's your sister doing?" Hanabi groaned and rubbed at her forehead. Sakura was almost positive she'd rolled her eyes, but it was hard to tell.
"Ugh. Everything's Naruto-kun this and Naruto-kun that. It's going to be even worse when she has the baby. The two of them are so embarrassing."
"Welcome to the club," Sakura said.
A prickling sensation made itself known between her shoulder blades, and Sakura knew they were being watched. Curious, she turned towards the voyeur. There was an LSF nin eying them, dressed all in white with a crimson sash tied around his hips, his stark white haori open to his naval. He had tattoos inked in matching red lines that ran the length of his chest, along with a red stripe that went from his bottom lip to his chin. The nin's eyes were yellow and slit like a cat's, his white-blond hair dusting his neck.
Even without the mask, Sakura recognized him. It was the feathery blond hair that was so fine that wisps of it where sticking to his cheeks with the slightest breeze. "Cat-san," she said in acknowledgement. He blinked once, tilting his head to observe her.
"Susumu," he corrected blandly, eyelids drooping. There was red on them, and his eyebrows—what was left of them—were red too. It took Sakura a moment to catch on.
"Pardon?"
"My name's Susumu."
"Oh." She wasn't exactly comfortable calling him by his first name, but he didn't seem inclined to provide a clan one. And he was definitely from a clan. "Do you want me to call you that?"
"Yes."
Morbidly, Sakura wondered what his bloodline was. Nins with bloodlines were always dangerous, and the ones that ran with Sasuke even more so. Beside her Hanabi tilted her head, reaching around herself to absently draw the length of her ponytail through her hand.
"Susu you better watch out, or you're gonna get bit," she warned.
Susu ignored her, continuing to stare at Sakura intently. Hanabi sighed again and stalked off. Sakura didn't return the nin's gaze, folding her arms defensively over her chest and looking sideways. The incident where she'd tripped hung unspoken between them.
"What clan are you from?" she asked.
"Ueda," he said, taking a step towards her. Sakura wrinkled her nose when he said his name. The designation was unfamiliar to her. Either he'd spent most of his time outside the village, or he was from one of the newer clans that had been absorbed after the war. Susumu blinked, and Sakura realized his eyes were all yellow—sclera and iris. He was terribly pretty, and she'd harbored a well-known weakness for pretty nins back in the day. Delicate features and boys with long eyelashes had practically been her calling card.
"You're not from Konoha, are you?"
The nin shook his head and took another step. The contrast between the red stripes on his chest and the paleness of his skin was distracting.
"Shimogakure," he replied. "We integrated into Konoha after the war."
"How big's your clan?"
"Not big," he admitted. There was only half a foot of space between them now, and he was carrying no weapons. Nins who needed no weapons other than themselves were bad news. Susumu looked down at her with a thoughtful expression. He was shorter than the Uchiha, but still half a head taller than her. "It's just me and my sister," he continued. "The rest are dead."
Sakura felt her heart twinge unexpectedly. She frowned, crossing her arms over her chest to try and will away the ache. "I'm sorry," she said truthfully. Being alone was a terrible burden, privileged clan member or no. "How old is your sister?"
"Ayano," he corrected. Although he didn't smile, Sakura could hear the warmth behind his voice. She knew there was love there. A good shinobi, she thought. A good person.
"Sorry. How old is Ayano?"
"Eight," he said. "She's going to graduate from the academy this year."
Against all odds, Sakura felt a real smile stealing its way across her features—the first one in months. The gesture was so painful that she nearly burst into tears. "That's wonderful," she said, her voice thick as she put a hand to her face and tried not to sniffle. "Really, I'm glad. You take good care of your sister, okay? I'm sure she loves you." Please, please, don't be another Itachi, was what she really wanted to say.
Susumu blinked, and when he opened his eyes there were three pupils in either eye instead of just one, which made him look like a spider. He smiled softly, the red ink stretching across his chin and bottom lip.
"I promise, Haruno-san."
"Good," Sakura said, giving into sniffling and nodding once in confirmation. She rubbed furiously at her nose. "Good. You better. You can call me Sakura, if you want. I don't mind."
"Alright."
On a nearby log Suigetsu watched them. Sakura didn't see him around all that often, as he stuck to Sasuke like glue. He grinned at her, taking a swig of his water bottle. His expression was practically devious.
"Oi, oi, Susu-chan," he sing-songed, leering at the blond nin beside her. His lips pulled back to reveal his teeth. "You shouldn't get too close to Pinky. Uchiha's gonna bite your head off make you pull last shift."
Sakura glared at the nin and his unfortunate moniker. She couldn't help it if she had pink hair, and he wasn't making her mood any better. Susumu didn't respond to the insult, but Sakura caught him clenching his hands. His sharp red nails dug into his palms deep enough to draw blood.
"Stop that," she chided, automatically falling into medic mode and grabbing his hands to unfurl his fingers. He had unusually smooth skin for a nin. "You're going to hurt yourself." She healed the gashes without a second thought.
Suigetsu's grin grew wider. He started laughing. "Shit, Susu-chan," he cackled, slapping his knee and pointing. "Shit, you're so doomed! Uchiha's gonna beat your ass for sure!"
Over by the gates, Hanabi's voice was shrill as she yelled at him. "Suigetsu, shut it!" He made kissing noises at her. Sakura glared at the nin. Suigetsu turned and grinned back.
"What does Uchiha have to do with any of this?" she demanded.
It was then that Sasuke chose to make his timely arrival.
"Ueda," he snapped, fist clenched around the hilt of Kusanagi as he strode towards them. "Squad D, formation A. Move it. Suigetsu, you're with him. Sakura, with me." Both his eyes were spinning, blooming red and white like the Uchiha crest on his back. He looked furious.
Suigetsu grinned and winked at Sakura, dissolving into a puddle as he sunk into the ground. Susumu melted away, silent as a shadow. Sakura glared at Sasuke, but consoled herself that she'd only be around him for a day, maybe two at the most, and once that was done she wouldn't see him for over a year. She crouched low, reaching for her bags. It was time to put them in their designated scrolls.
Before she could, Sasuke angrily swiped the bags out of her grasp and sealed them into scrolls of his own. He shoved them into the obi tied loosely around his middle. Instantly Sakura got the message; that he thought she was too weak, too irresponsible to handle even a measly pad of paper. She was furious.
"What is with you?" she demanded, trailing after him as he stalked off towards the gates. The rest of the LSF began rousing, splitting into their respective units. Sasuke turned his head as he walked, looking over his shoulder toward her.
"While you're with my team, you follow my rules. The dobe should have told you that already."
"I can carry my own bags. Give them back."
He snorted in disbelief and turned his head, but it was too late. Sakura had seen it. His sharingan was fluctuating rapidly without him meaning to, a sure sign he was either upset or severely injured. Sakura knew it was the former. "If I carry it, we'll travel faster," he was saying.
"It's a scroll."
"I said I'm carrying it."
"Are you mad at Naruto?" she demanded. She was so upset she was shaking. Her heart was fluttering inside her chest, and not in the good way. It felt suspiciously like a palpitation.
"Yes," he seethed. Sakura was shocked he'd even admitted to it. "The dobe's being a dobe, and this is stupid. The border situation's tenuous."
"He's the Hokage," she argued. "It's his right. Now give me my scrolls."
"No," Sasuke insisted. "This is the LSF. My rules. My platoon. If you don't like them, you can stay in Konoha."
When she managed to catch up to him,Sakura saw his eye was still fluctuating, shrinking and expanding in rapid succession as the pinwheel turned. It was going to start bleeding soon, she knew. "Sasuke," she said, trying to move forward so she could stand in front of him, but he was walking too fast. "Sasuke."
"What?!" he snapped, turning back and nearly throwing the scrolls to the forest floor.
He must have been really upset if he was this visibly worked up. It didn't happen often, but Sakura didn't care. She'd seen worse from him over the years, and she'd been under his genjutsu so many times she wasn't afraid of his eyes in the slightest. What was he going to do? Stab her again? Shove his hand through her chest? He'd killed her so many times in her dreams that his aggression had reached the heights of pointlessness.
"You need to calm down."
"I am calm."
Without thought Sakura reached up, craning her neck as she grasped his face in one hand and used the other to cover his eye. Her palm flooded with green. She thought he would resist, but he didn't, instead bowing his head and leaning inwards so she could reach him better. While she worked he watched her with the rinnegan, the six tomoes spinning lazily but wholly stable. He was still breathing far too quick, however.
"You're going to hurt yourself," Sakura told him blandly. She didn't do it out of charity. She needed him to get her to where she was going as quickly as possible, so she could never, ever see him again. "You know you should only turn it on when you need it. I've told you this, numerous times." The damage was minimal, but she could sense some serious pinching of the nerves behind his eyes, which must have been painful. Sakura wondered if his doctor was incompetent, or if Sasuke was just stubborn. The problem was old and should've been fixed ages ago.
"Your nerves are pinched. Sasuke, why didn't you fix this? Where's your doctor?"
He sneered beneath her hand, and she could feel his facial muscles twitching. It was an odd sensation. "I don't have one."
It was like swallowing glass.
When she was younger, Sakura would have ranted and raved at his foolishness. She would have insisted that he let her help him, because she was a medic-nin and she was the only one he should have trusted. Now, she didn't want to think about it. She didn't even bring it up. She was older, wiser, and so goddamn tired. If she didn't talk to Sasuke beyond an initial question or two, he always dropped the subject. Sakura sighed and ignored the omission, moving her hand to the center of his chest. His heartbeat jumped beneath her touch, but she was more concerned about the speed of his breathing. She sent a pulse of warm chakra through his chest to try and calm him.
"Your breathing is too fast," she told him, avoiding his gaze. He'd grown oddly quiet. "Try to self-moderate, okay? If you don't you'll give yourself a heart attack. Be careful, for Naruto's sake." It was the only thing they had in common. Sasuke had gone from hating the Hokage to being overprotective to the point of obsession. He was viciously loyal, and there was no middle ground with him.
"It's the family thing," Naruto had told her once, not long after the war when Sasuke was still halfway crazy. "It's all he cares about. You're either family or you're not." Sakura knew which side she fell on.
"Hnh," mumbled Sasuke. Just as he was reaching up to remove her hand, Sakura drew away, far enough that she was out of immediate arms' length. She crossed her own arms over her chest. Sasuke could keep the damn scrolls, for all she cared. She was done with him, and almost free of Konoha.
If Sasuke was thrown by her standoffish attitude, he said nothing, although even after she drew away he stayed uncomfortably close to her side. Around them the LSF had finished assembling and were ready to move out. When Sasuke spoke again, his voice was full of authority, the anger gone and the arrogance back.
"Don't stop until nightfall," he commanded. "Waterfall formation. Squad D, cover our rear. Remember the motto."
"Always, Cap'n." Suigetsu drawled, emerging out of the ground and strolling leisurely towards the gate. "Scorch and Burn, LSF unto Death. Let's bring the rain and make 'em howl."
Hanabi leaned over and smacked him upside the head.
"Shut it, Puddle. Get back to your unit."
"You know you love me."
"Suigetsu," snapped Sasuke. "Fall in line."
He did it instantly, without any consternation. If she hadn't been feeling so out of sorts Sakura would have marvelled at his obedience; at the way Sasuke's squad followed his command to the letter. She didn't, and the LSF moved out.
Soon Konoha was nothing but a pinprick on the landscape behind them.
Author's Note
Wow. I received way more feedback for the first chapter than I'd originally anticipated, and I'm honestly shocked. A huge thank you to everyone who reviewed/favorited/followed! I absolutely love hearing from you, and it's great to know that you guys are enjoying the story. Just a quick clarification on the update schedule, because there seems to be some confusion over it: I will try to update more frequently, but I've got another story that's my main focus atm, and I also have to finish the revisions on my novel. As a result, my updates will be sporadic (i.e. I can't update every Monday night at the exact same time).
Q-e17: glad you're enjoying the story! Rawr: adult content and mature themes are my bread and butter, so I'm glad you liked the first chapter. Poxxy: I can't PM you unfortunately, so I'm just going to respond here. The recent lack of fics is actually why I'm writing this story. That, and stress. Tons and tons of stress. I'm a really picky reader, and when I can't find stories that pique my interest, I just write one myself. LilyoftheValley: Thanks! Guest: Thanks as well! (Although I'm not sure what else to call you? It feels kinda weird calling you "Guest." I guess that's the problem with anonymous reviews).
