"Um…!"
The noise of his brother's confused and slightly agitated voice made Gilbert's eyes snap open. He didn't know what it was, but somehow Vincent's voice woke him up in a flash. It was rare that he could sleep through it. Gilbert sat up, careful not to wake Oz.
Vincent was staring at him, an odd and mildly irked expression on his face. He kept glancing at something next to Gilbert. Gilbert looked where Vincent was glancing.
And then he realized why Vincent had that expression on.
"Oh, uh, h-he was cold." Gilbert stuttered, tripping over his words. "Wouldn't close the window, that brat…" He laughed uneasily.
Vincent narrowed his eyes. "And so your solution to that was…?"
"Nothing weird," Gilbert snapped instinctively, begging himself to relax. "Without my permission, he just kind of climbed in here with me. I was going to kick him out, but he'd already, uh, fallen asleep."
Internally, Gilbert was accusing himself of being a liar. After a moment of having Oz nestled up against him, all thoughts of pushing him away and demanding he go back to the floor left his mind. He was enjoying the closeness for a reason he couldn't comprehend. Oz was exactly what Gilbert needed to fall back asleep. In the end, Gilbert recalled hugging Oz closer. But there was no way he was going to admit that to Vincent.
If he did, who knew what would follow.
"Are you sure that's what happened? This looks awfully weird to me. It's not every day you wake up and find your brother sleeping with a Chain." Vincent looked and sounded like he was convicting Gilbert of a crime.
Gilbert forced himself to roll his eyes. "Vince, I have no idea what you're thinking, but whatever it is, it's not what actually happened."
"Sure." Vincent nodded slowly. He definitely didn't believe Gilbert, but he didn't question him further.
"Hey…hey, Gil…?"
Gilbert and Vincent both flinched. Gilbert was flinching because he hadn't anticipated Oz to wake up; Oz's voice, heavy with sleep, sounded quiet and soft. But Vincent, Gilbert guessed, was flinching at how Oz was using his personal pet name for Gilbert.
Up until that point, Oz had still been somewhat tangled around Gilbert, and he separated himself. He sat up beside Gilbert. However, after untangling himself, Oz also took Gilbert's hand.
"Hi, Vincent," Oz said while letting out a big yawn. "Why are you here?" He didn't sound bothered.
Vincent scowled. "I wanted to know why you were sleeping in the same bed as my older brother."
Oz shrugged indifferently. "I got cold."
Vincent sighed, finally seeming to accept that maybe Gilbert hadn't been lying. But his scowl hadn't completely disappeared. His attention turned back to Gilbert.
"You let him call you 'Gil'?" Vincent sounded vaguely hurt, although it seemed like he was trying to hide it as to not seem vulnerable in front of Oz. "I thought that was our personal thing. I call you Gil, you call me Vince."
Gilbert opened his mouth to say something in return, but nothing came out. He realized how much this probably meant to Vincent. Every bit of their bond, no matter how small, mattered to Vincent. And letting someone else use Vincent's special pet name for him was no exception.
Finally, Gilbert sheepishly said, "Sorry."
"Don't be sorry, Gil. It's fine. I'll accept anything you accept." The forcedness of this statement was incredibly evident in Vincent's tone; he wasn't even trying to hide it. Then, getting ready to leave, he looked at Oz. "Oh. And if you start doing things you're not supposed to, you are not going to like what happens to you. You're a fool if you think you can escape me. I'm always watching, Oz."
Gilbert had to make sure he didn't shudder after hearing that last part. Unfazed as always, Oz shrugged. Vincent exited the room and closed the door.
"I don't think Vincent likes that I call you Gil," Oz said, as if Gilbert hadn't figured this out already.
Because it was some strange instinct, Gilbert squeezed Oz's hand, but said nothing. For the first time, he thought he might be starting to like this bratty creature that called himself Oz.
It was a major change that had happened overnight.
"Ignore him." Gilbert had no idea where these words were coming from, but he couldn't seem to stop them as they tumbled out of his mouth. "Vince can be pretty ridiculous sometimes. He's just overprotective. Call me whatever you like, Oz."
Oz blinked, giving Gilbert a look that was as surprised as he felt. Gilbert didn't quite understand where that had come from, but if he was being honest, he meant it.
Then Oz kissed him on the cheek.
Gilbert felt the soft warmth of Oz's lips before he actually knew what was going on. He had no time to enjoy it once he finally did realize what was going on, because his heartbeat got astronomically faster and he was panicking inside his head.
Gilbert was going to pull away, but Oz had already done so himself. He stared at Oz like he was insane, and he could feel himself blushing. Oz stared blankly back.
"Just wanted to try it," Oz murmured, gazing strangely into Gilbert's golden eyes. Gilbert's blush got stronger. "I've never…done that before."
Oz could easily be lying—as both he and Gilbert had pointed out, Chains were liars—but Gilbert believed him. And maybe he was a fool for falling for a Chain's dirty tricks, maybe he shouldn't have trusted a Chain that had killed who-knows-how-many people by deceiving them, but Gilbert was bent on the fact that he was really, really starting to like Oz.
Probably more than he should.
As this thought crossed Gilbert's mind, it shook his mind like thunder, and only after a few moments did Gilbert realize there had been real thunder. It was raining very hard, and every few minutes you'd see a blinding flash of lightning. If he and Oz wanted to talk now, they'd have to be louder than they were before.
Oz slipped out of the bed and walked slowly over to the window, leaning on the windowsill and fixed his eyes on the storm outside. Gilbert followed him. Since Gilbert was the taller of the two, he could see over Oz.
It was now that Gilbert noticed how strange this storm was. Although everything that he could see and hear seemed to suggest the sky should be black or at least very dark gray, the clouds were a bright gray instead, as if the sun was behind the clouds and just waiting to come out. But it was obvious that the sun wasn't there.
Storms like this came along sometimes, but Gilbert never really thought about them until now, watching it behind Oz, who was watching the storm even more intently.
"You know how everyone is more afraid of storms that bring the darkest clouds?"
Oz's voice snapped Gilbert out of his trance. Gilbert nodded, although he knew Oz couldn't see him; still, Oz seemed to sense his response, because he kept going.
"Well, it's these kinds of storms that scare me the most." Oz said quietly. Gilbert leaned forward to see Oz's facial expression. Oz was smiling in a pained, solemn way. "It looks bright, but it's the exact opposite of what's actually going on. Reminds me of people who pretend to be happy but aren't."
…
Gilbert was a bit shocked by Oz's statement. Judged on Oz's previous behavior, Gilbert hadn't expected Oz to say something with such deep and disturbing meaning. But Oz said nothing more, and they stayed like that for a while, with Oz examining the storm and Gilbert mulling over what Oz had just said.
Neither of them noticed Lottie had come in until she spoke.
"Are you two having a nice, romantic evening?" Lottie snickered. Oz and Gilbert turned around, and despite the fact that the remark had meant to be sarcastic, they were both blushing lightly. Luckily, Lottie didn't seem to notice. If she did, she didn't react. "Well, you two have been in here all day. You'd better go outside before dinner, or you'll vomit from being inside all day."
"All right," Gilbert replied in a voice that suggested he didn't care much, but would acknowledge it. "Let's go, Oz."
Oz nodded silently and followed as Gilbert walked out of the bedroom, down the hall, and out the front door. Neither Oz nor Gilbert noticed Lottie narrowing her eyes, observing them with suspicion.
Oz and Gilbert were now standing outside during a storm with absolutely no idea what they were doing there.
"Well?" Oz asked expectantly, turning to Gilbert.
"I have no idea." Gilbert exhaled slowly. "I guess we did need to get out."
"I guess." Oz sounded like he really didn't care. "I could've stayed inside with you. But it's nice to get some fresh air."
"Yeah," Gilbert agreed. And then there was an awkward silence that seemed like it lasted much longer than it probably did.
The thing that stopped the awkward silence was when Oz wrapped his arms around Gilbert and whispered, "Gil, I really, really like you."
Gilbert tensed, but it was only for a moment. He relaxed very quickly and realized how much he treasured Oz's words, because he felt the same way.
"Oz," Gilbert murmured, hugging Oz back. He didn't want to let go. He didn't want to ever let go. "I really, really like you, too."
Oz was so close to him Gilbert could feel him smile. And for the first time he wondered how he ever lived without this boy—without this bratty, infuriating, overenthusiastic, irritating, manipulative, beautiful boy. Boy. Gilbert was fairly certain that he barely ever thought of Oz as a Chain now.
And Oz really was beautiful. He was so much more confusing than anyone else, so much more unpredictable, and that's what made him beautiful. Gilbert loved him with all his heart.
You love him…?
Gilbert did not expect that thought to cross his mind and was demanding he define "love" for himself. He didn't know what he meant, although he probably should have. When you love someone, it usually has to do with being family, friends, or having a romantic attachment.
It didn't sound right at all, but he and Oz definitely didn't feel like family or friends. So that left…
Not possible. Gilbert smiled wryly to himself. There was no way he could fall in love with Oz. But that was exactly what was happening, wasn't it?
"Gil? What're you thinking about there?"
Gilbert looked down at Oz, staring silently. It was at this moment he realized how pretty Oz's green eyes were. He knew Oz's eyes were actually red—not to mention that his human form wasn't even his original form—but still. Oz's eyes had so much depth, shining brightly when he was happy and dulling when he wasn't. And if you looked hard enough into those eyes, Gilbert was sure, you could probably figure out something you never knew before.
"Oz, am I just your Contractor?" Again, Gilbert was speaking without knowing where it was coming from. "Do you do this with all your Contractors?"
Only after saying this did it occur to Gilbert that Oz could lie about this. Chains are liars. The thought rang in his head like an alarm.
But when Oz shook his head, Gilbert trusted him.
I'm such a fool…do I really think I'm special? How am I different from any of Oz's previous Contractors? The thought hit him hard, but for way shorter than it should have. Almost right away, the thought faded to darkness.
"No…I don't do this with all my Contractors. I've done similar things, but not like this. I've pretended to be their best friend. I've pretended to be the one they could rely on the most. But never did I do…this." Oz said, for lack of a way to explain this. Then he smiled wryly. "Then again, why should you trust me?"
If he'd ever anticipated Oz saying this, he'd expected it to be laced with darkness and implication. But Oz's voice was strangely free of those things, genuine and even pained.
Despite all the time they'd spend together so far, Gilbert still knew very little about Oz. Or maybe it was the fact that what he did know about Oz could all be lies. Oz was a Chain, one known for being a deceptive murderer. How could Gilbert completely trust someone like that?
But Gilbert wanted so badly to trust Oz. His heart ached whenever he thought about how all of this could be a lie, even though it was ridiculous. He shouldn't be getting close to Oz the B-Rabbit. It was dangerous not only to himself but to the others as well.
It didn't make any difference to him.
"I trust you, Oz," Gilbert whispered, although he wasn't sure of his own words.
Oz's gaze shifted to the ground, a deeply troubled expression on his face. Gilbert began to wonder if maybe Oz was being honest all this time. Maybe Oz had decided to change his ways…
You moron! Gilbert practically punched himself in the face. A Chain changing its ways—who'd ever heard of that? Once a Chain, always a Chain. A Chain never changes. They're manipulative, evil demons that couldn't change if they tried. And Oz was a Chain.
…
Gilbert and Oz hadn't said anything to each other after that, and they'd gone back inside to eat dinner. Vincent decided that he needed to take a walk and asked Gilbert if he'd like to come with him after dinner. Gilbert accepted the invitation, despite suspecting that Vincent didn't really need to take a walk but wanted a chance to talk to him alone. It seemed like the others suspected this too, as a couple of the Baskervilles exchanged looks. Oz stayed silent and kept his expression neutral as he had the last dinner, although Gilbert could detect a pout being covered up and barely stopped.
After dinner, Vincent motioned for Gilbert to follow him. Vincent grabbed an umbrella for the both of them to use and stepped outside, Gilbert stepping beside him under the umbrella.
"What do you need to say, Vince?" Gilbert exhaled slowly.
Vincent smiled and chuckled. But it was mirthless. "You really know me, don't you, Gil…" Then he stopped chuckling and his smile fell completely. He turned a serious look on Gilbert. "He's using you, you know."
Gilbert sighed, knowing exactly what this conversation was going to be about. "Vince, are you jealous of Oz? Because I can still spend time with you—I know I spend a lot of my time with Oz now, but nothing has changed."
"Everything has changed! Don't you see? Ever since you made a Contract with Oz, things have been changing." Vincent's tone betrayed his anger. "You can't trust him, Gil. He's evil, just like the rest of them. You know how Baskervilles make their worst mistakes, don't you?"
"Just tell me." Gilbert wasn't even trying. He'd shut down; he didn't want to have this conversation.
"Obviously, we trust our Chains too. And unlike other people who Contract with Chains, we consider them friends and allies rather than just tools. But we can't let them get to us." Vincent said grimly. "We can trust them, but we can't trust them so much that they cloud our judgment. If we trust a Chain too much, they'll take advantage of us, play with us like prey."
"Thanks for the lesson, Vince." Gilbert rolled his eyes. He knew all of this already—he'd heard it a thousand times. All the Baskervilles had heard this a thousand times. It was a constant reminder to be on their guard at all times.
"Take me seriously! Don't you understand how dire this situation is? I'm trying to protect you. You're going too far, Gil. You trust Oz too much. You're letting him get to your head." Vincent protested, not only angry but irritated now as well. "I've seen the way you look at him, the way you talk to him. Oz doesn't love you!"
"How do you know that?" Gilbert hissed, completely ignoring the fact that his brother had noticed his feelings for Oz. Normally, he would have mulled over this and taken time to be shocked, but he couldn't afford to do that now. "You don't know anything about us! You don't know that all Chains are the same. You don't know that!"
Vincent fell quiet. Gilbert gulped, realizing how terribly harsh he sounded, and how he never sounded like that when talking to his younger brother. A look of shock came across Vincent's face, only to be replaced by mild disgust.
"Gil, you know I love you no matter what happens." Vincent's voice was silky smooth now, so much so that it was disturbing. "You're talking like you're crazy, though. I don't understand anything you're saying. You can't trust Oz. He'll use you until the day he finally kills you off, Gil. I don't want you to die."
"I have no plans to." Gilbert scoffed indignantly, despite the growing insecurity inside of him.
"I know. That's what I'm worried about. I think you're planning your own death without knowing." Vincent said softly. "This thing you have with Oz is a plan you have to die. It's a knife you're getting driven through your heart, of your own will. I don't think you know it, but you're either entirely insane…or have a death wish."
"I don't have a death wish! For God's sake, Vince, really…" Gilbert shook his head furiously. His voice had risen in volume. "Maybe Oz isn't like the other Chains. Maybe he's different."
"Oz is not different, Gilbert!" Vincent yelled, startling Gilbert both by how loud he was and his use of Gilbert's full name. He used Gilbert's full name sometimes, but usually it was only when he was being very serious or trying to get a point across. "Oz the B-Rabbit is exactly the same, Gilbert. He's killed all of his Contractors so far, and he'll kill you too. Oz just likes to play with his prey before killing it! He's playing with you!"
"He isn't playing with me!" Gilbert shouted. "You know what's going on here? You're jealous. You're jealous because it used to be you and me against the world—brothers forever. You're jealous because you used to get me all to yourself all the time, and now you have to live in the real world, because your precious big brother has gone off and finally found a friend!"
Vincent's eyes widened. Then his face contorted to a snarl. "I can't believe you. I love you no matter what, Gil, but this is ridiculous. It's stupid. It's not something I should have to argue with you about."
"You know how we could end this? We could leave each other alone and agree to think differently!" Gilbert growled. Then he lowered his voice, trying to calm everything down. He didn't like the direction this had started going; he hated fighting with Vincent, especially because Vincent was cunning and determined and almost always won…and because Vincent was his little brother. "Look, Vince. I'm sorry about this. I'm really, really sorry. I know I haven't been spending as much time with you, and I know you don't trust Oz. But I trust Oz, okay? And yes, I've thought of what I'm getting myself into. But Vince, I…I'm sure this will work itself out eventually."
Gilbert didn't believe himself, and he could tell neither did Vincent. But Vincent's expression softened and his voice grew small.
"All right, Gil." Vincent murmured gently. "I'll let you be, but I just want you to know…I love you. That's why I was saying all this."
Gilbert put a hand up, signaling for him to stop. "Let's put this aside for now, okay?"
Vincent nodded silently. By now they'd walked in a circle around the house of the Baskervilles. He watched as Gilbert walked back inside, seeming satisfied with himself and the ending to the argument.
Once Gilbert closed the door behind him, Vincent spat on the ground in outraged defeat.
…
Gilbert didn't bother to check if Vincent had followed him inside. Oz walked straight to him and immediately asked, "What did he say?"
"He doesn't trust you. Thinks I'm killing myself by trusting you this much," Gilbert said in a bored tone. He shrugged.
Oz looked up at Gilbert, a determined fire lighting his eyes. "Can I ask you something, Gil?"
Gilbert nodded slowly. He really hoped he wasn't going to need to participate in another argument; he'd had his fill of fighting.
"Why do you trust me? I mean, are you self-centered or something? Do you think you'll get special treatment?" Oz laughed dryly.
"No. I just…trust you. Even though I know I'm probably the same as the others," Gilbert replied honestly.
"But don't you understand how dangerous this could be? I've murdered all my previous Contractors. Who's to say you won't end up the same?" Oz demanded. "Who's to say that I…that I won't kill you, too?"
Gilbert grunted, aggravated. He was having the same conversation all over again. But what he didn't understand was why Oz was the one saying all this. It was like he was urging him not to trust him, even though his trust was undoubtedly a good thing to have, bad intentions or otherwise.
"I don't believe you will." Gilbert answered. He knew it was the most stupid answer possible, but it was what he thought in his heart. Maybe his heart was stupid.
"You don't believe I can kill you?" Oz asked coldly. "Because I can—I could kill you right now if I wanted to."
"No, that's not what I meant." Gilbert said quickly. "I meant that…I don't believe you'll kill me. I know you can, but you won't."
Oz fell silent. Then he looked back up at Gilbert, his eyes troubled. "How do you know that, Gil? What if I told you otherwise? What if I said I was going to kill you and that you're exactly the same as all my other Contractors?"
Even the suggestion of those words stung, and Gilbert wished he hadn't heard them. He didn't want to consider the possibility that Vincent could be right. But he gazed down at Oz, his eyes brightened by some type of burning fire.
"I wouldn't believe you."
The shock that spread across Oz's face was a reflection of how Gilbert felt at that moment. He couldn't believe he'd actually said that. Just how idiotic was he? But to his horror, he realized that he'd answered from his heart again. He really wouldn't believe Oz if he said he was the same as his other Contractors, if he said he was going to murder him just like the rest of them, He wouldn't believe him.
The shock on Oz's face turned to terror.
"You can't trust me, Gil!" Oz's voice was brimming with alarm and fear. Gilbert had no idea what the fear was focused on. "I don't want to kill you. I don't want this. I never asked for this!" His eyes were a huge ocean of confused emotions, and he looked manic.
"What?" Gilbert asked, unable to determine what Oz was telling him.
"I'm a Chain, but who ever said I asked to be one? I never said I wanted this. I never said I wanted to be a Chain, much less the leader of the Abyss! Being a Chain is a curse, Gil. It's like you have to be evil. You have to find Contractors and corrupt them and manipulate them until you get your chance to kill them. And you'll enjoy it, Gil. That's the worst part—you'll find all of this amusing until it's over. You'll be miserable for a while, knowing what you've done. Then you'll do it again." Oz's eyes were wide and he was shivering as if he was cold. "You'll do it over and over again. It never ends, Gil. It's an endless cycle of guilt and sadistic amusement and darkness and pain. You'll hate every moment of it, but at the same time, you'll love it. And you'll go along with it until the day someone finally destroys you. That's why it's horrible to be the most powerful Chain in the Abyss. You can defeat anyone you want. Nobody can destroy you. The cycle will never end. You'll keep fighting for this life you hate so much because nobody can end it for you."
"What are you saying, Oz?" Now Gilbert sounded as alarmed as Oz. He was scared now—more than scared. What Oz was saying sounded insane, but it made so much sense at the same time. And once Gilbert finally understood it, he was even more scared.
"I don't want to kill you! I care about you! I want this to stop, but it never will." Oz shuddered violently. "I can't help it. Even though the real me—the real Oz—doesn't want to hurt anyone, the Chain part of me has a thirst for blood that always takes over. It doesn't matter who I am or what I think, Gil. The part of my mind that's Chain will always win. And I'll keep finding Contractors and killing them. But I'm sick of this, Gil."
"You're sick of it?" Gilbert could barely understand what Oz was saying, but he understood it just enough. Still, he repeated what Oz had said, confusion in his voice. "Didn't you just say you liked it?"
Gilbert was so, so scared.
"The Chain part of me likes it. The Chain part of me loves it. But Oz hates it. Oz doesn't want to hurt anybody. But the Chain part of me has won every single time so far. And I don't think Oz will ever win." Oz's eyes had become wet and scared. He looked even more frightened than Gilbert felt, and now Gilbert understood what Oz was afraid of.
Oz was afraid of himself.
"You…Oz…can win." Gilbert said in a warm, comforting voice. He only wanted Oz to stop talking like this. He wanted him to calm down. "You can do anything if you try."
"No, you don't get it. You're not a Chain." Oz shuddered again. "I'm sick of hurting people. I'm sick of this endless cycle. I'm sick of watching people die because of me. And you…you made me realize it, Gil. No one has ever made me feel this way before. You made me realize how sick of this I am."
For a second, Gilbert felt delighted that he was the one who'd made Oz realize he didn't want to hurt anyone. Then he just felt afraid like before.
"I'm sick of this! I'm sick of it!" Oz yelled. Luckily, the Baskervilles were all in other rooms far away from the one where Oz and Gilbert were. Still, Gilbert motioned for Oz to come into his bedroom quickly, and Oz ran inside, panting as if he was tired. But it was definitely the fear and insanity clawing its way through him. Gilbert slammed the door.
"You're okay," Gilbert murmured, holding Oz close to him. Oz clung to him like he was going to fall down and die otherwise.
"No, I'm not okay. I was never okay. I hate this! I'm sick of this!" Oz was yelling again, but this time, Gilbert didn't try to stop him. "I can't do this anymore, Gil. I care about you. I care about you and I love you, but someday I am going to kill you. And I can't do anything to stop it."
And Oz was weeping.
The tears ran down his face like tiny streams, and Gilbert hugged Oz even closer. He hated seeing Oz like this, but he knew Oz needed to get all this out. Plus, Gilbert knew, it was good Oz was being honest with him…no matter how horrible the truth was.
Oz just cried for a while until he sniffed and looked up at Gilbert. His eyes were ablaze with unimaginable fear.
"I'm so scared," Oz whispered. "Gil, I'm so scared."
"I know," Gilbert said in a small voice, running his hand through Oz's hair. "I know."
"It's like there's a monster inside of me, and I want to get rid of it so damn badly…" Oz's voice trailed off and he made way for more tears and whimpers and wails.
"So why don't you?" Gilbert squeezed Oz's hand. "You can. You can get rid of the monster."
"No. No. You don't understand." Oz looked into Gilbert's eyes. It felt as though he was staring straight through him. "Gil." The fear crept back into Oz's voice. "How do you get rid of the monster if you are the monster?"
"You're not the monster. Not all of you," Gilbert mumbled. "I fell in love with the part of you that isn't a monster."
