Six days after the 'incident', and our red haired Hero was again in Rude's bathroom, but this time it wasn't nap-time, no, this time it was dye-time, Reno was always punctual when it came to his appearance, and the fact that the Trail was today made him get up an hour earlier than he normally would, so he could do his morning routine with plenty of time.
"War, huh, yeah, what is it good for! Absolutely nothin'!" Reno sang out of tune, to the song that was playing on his iBob, he looked at himself in the mirror and struck a pose. "You are one sexy beast Reno!" He said to himself as he pulled out a hairdryer, why did Rude have a hairdryer? Hell I don't know, thats why I'm asking you.
So here was Reno, hairdryer in hand, he flipped on the switch. Nothing happened. He flipped it a couple more times. Still nothing happened, then he realized that he hadn't plugged it in yet. "Duh." He said to himself and grabbed the plug, he spun it around his hand while he searched for a plug socket, but, this being a bathroom, there wasn't one. "Looks like there isn't one in here... Ah, I know for a fact Rude has one in his room!"
So our red haired Hero set out on a great journey, to find a plug socket to power his hairdryer. Now, as you may have guessed, the journey wasn't so great, as it was like a minute walk to Rude's bedroom, but, as Reno opened the door, he gasped, cue dramatic music .
Despite seeing this room pretty much everyday, it still shocked him. What he saw was a wasteland, moldy old socks, pizza boxes, really cool looking guns, and what looked like frogs littered the floor, there were other, not so pleasant things there too. But, frogs? Why the hell where frogs there? Reno didn't know, and to be honest, he really didn't wanna know. He left the room, and decided he would needs supplies for his 'great' journey. And he also needed to get revenge on Rude for having an unclean room, despite the fact that it was Reno's fault the cleaner was gone and was now suing them.
So he decided set out on another journey, which will be now known as: 'The journey to get things for the great journey'. So Reno, still with wet hair, rushed out of the apartment and to the nearest shop, but, in his hurry, he didn't realize the door was locked, and collided with it.
Ten minutes later, and Reno was in a supermarket, - - despite the fact that it was more like a really big store than a market, and it wasn't that super either... - - anyway, here he was, in the store, with a bruised nose, searching for supplies for his 'great journey'. As he walked around the shop, who should he bump into, but Rufus and Elena.
"Ah! Reno! What are you doing here! This isn't what it looks like!" Rufus screamed, causing everyone in the store to look at him, in his hands was a lacy black bra, his face was as bright as a... Erm... I dunno... Just think of something that's really red, then multiply it a few times and it wouldn't come close to the color of Rufus' face.
"Uh... Is that a bra, Rufus?" Reno asked as he wondered why the Vice President of ShinRa was holding a lacy bra.
"No! No, no, no! It's not what you think! You see... Erm... It's Elena's! Yeah! She wanted to shop for bra's-" Rufus screamed again, but was cut of by a HARD slap.
"No it's not you little perv! Your the one that-" Elena was now silenced as a hand clamped over her mouth.
"Shh! Shut up Turk!-.. It's for my... Mother!" Rufus screamed again.
"Uh, sir, your mother died... Quite a while ago..." Reno pointed out.
"Erm... We gotta go!" Rufus shouted, then rushed of, his hand still over Elena's mouth. They were stopped by an overweight security guard though, as the alarm went of.
"Sir, your gonna have to come with me to the back."
"Do you have any idea who I am!"
"No, sir, should I?"
"I'm Vice President, Rufus J. ShinRa! I will not be denied a bra!" Rufus screamed, boy this kid likes to scream...
"Sure, and I'm a Dog."
"Then be a good boy and sit, little doggy!"
"Why I oughta!" The guard said, and dragged the two blondes away.
Reno shrugged, like this kind of thing happened everyday, mainly because it did.
Wavy flashback sound effects
Reno and Rude were walking along the Executive floor, in a lengthy discussion on wether Tifa Lockharts boobs where real or not, - -Yes, Rude does speak, just not as much when his enemies are around - - when they heard strange noises as they passed Rufus office, now, this wasn't a normal strange sound, no, this sounded like flesh hitting flesh. The guys stopped walking and talking and waited for a second. Sure enough, the noises sounded again, the Turks, fearing it was some Wutanesse assassin, intent on messing up Rufus' hair, burst into the office, and their jaws hit the floor.
Palmer, Heidegger and Rufus were chasing each other around the office. In woman's underwear. Giggling.
They stopped and looked at the Turks.
"It's not what it looks like!"
"Lard?"
"Tell anyone and I'll fire you two!"
Thats what they all shouted, well, squeaked.
End wavy flashback sound effects
Reno shuddered and continued on, looking for supplies, and who does he bump into, but Avalanche.
Cloud was pushing along a cart of hair gel.
Barret was dressed in a doctors outfit.
Yuffie had a large piece of melting chocolate stuck down her shorts, which she was obviously stealing.
Aeris... Was groaning like a zombie.
Cait Sith was dancing.
Nanaki was licking... Something...
Cid was having a one sided conversation with Tifa's Breasts.
And Tifa, she was just... There...
Reno decided to skip that aisle and move onto the next.
Which happened to be full of wigs.
Reno smiled wickedly as he picked up a huge afro and a packet of glue.
An half hour later and our Hero was outside Rude's bedroom door, a large backpack on his back, full of camping gear and supplies, he pushed open the door and stepped in.
At the Trail...
Our two hero's were now inside a courthouse, Rude was donning a huge, multicolor afro, which was super-glued to his scalp, courtesy of Reno. The bug guy wasn't mad, well, not too mad, it was good to finally have a full head of hair again, even if it was the fake, multicolor kind.
Yes, Rude did have hair at one point, that was until he started growing a bald spot, so he decided to shave it all of and be done with it.
So, here they where, or, there he was, Reno had gone to the toilet. Anyway, here was Rude, waiting for his friend and the judge, he glanced over at the Cleaning Lady, - - Maria Antonio Sherbet Gonzalez the Third - - and shook his head, why was he being sued? Well, if he wasn't, it would just be about Reno, and Rude doesn't get enough love, so here he is.
The judge entered suddenly, a man called out; "All rise for the honorable judge Judy."
Everyone stood up.
"All be seated."
Everyone sat down.
The doors banged open all of a sudden, and Reno strolled in, everyone started murmuring to themselves.
"Order! Order in the court!" Judge Judy shouted.
"Order? Oh! I'll have a cheeseburger and a side order of fries!"
"Mr... Nevada? Take a seat and shut it." Reno sighed, looks like he wasn't gonna get any grub soon, he walked over to Rude and took a seat.
"Maria Antonio Sherbet Gonzalez the Third, is suing you for thirty million dollars, I find you guilty, next case." The judge said in a bored tone.
"Wait, don't we get to defend ourselves!" Shouted Reno.
"If you did, this story would be boring, so no, next case."
"Ah well, at-least I tried. Come on, lets go get a drink Rude."
"We can't." Rude said as they walked from the building.
"Why?"
"Because we don't have no money, we're broke Reno."
"Damn... I guess we need some money then..." Reno replied as he pulled a newspaper out of nowhere. "Hey! I got an idea!"
"No."
"Wait, you haven't even heard the idea yet!
"All your plans are stupid, and end up embarrassing us, so no, I'm gonna wait for my next pay check."
"But our pays been docked for the next year, to help pay of the lawyer! Just here my plan out!"
"Fine."
"We take part in the old guy Olympics! All we gotta do is dress up in old guy clothes and develop a pretend limp, then when we're in the comp, we'll win for sure, it's perfect! And the prize money is ten grand!"
"Reno, how old are you?"
"Twenty one. Why?"
"I'm twenty, I know nothing of acting like an old man."
"Thats ok, we can get our parents to help us!"
"No, I refuse to compete against old people, it's wrong and stupid."
"Aw, is Rudey-Poo scared of loosing to the old folks?"
"I hate you, Reno."
A/N: Dun, Dun, Dun! The plot is shaping up and I leave you with a cliff hanger! Sort of... Thank all you great people for reviewing and/or emailing me! I'm really grateful! And thanks to Jessica for pointing out that typo!
Now, the questions...
Why was Rufus holding that Bra? Is Reno, really such a bad singer? Will Rude keep his Afro? Will the Turks be able to win the money? What will Reno do without his Hair gel and dye? Should 'Dr. Barett' make another appearance? Will Tseng help out? Will Avalanche find out about the Turks plan and set out to stop them?
All these questions and more will by answered next time, when the Turks seek help from their Parents in being 'old', in Turk Olympics, chapter three, 'Land Of The Old'!
