The forensics department was just as it had been the last time she'd seen it. Small space, lots of paper and overworked staff running back and forth between desks and cases. Harried even further by the investigating cops leaning on them hard to make their case a priority. You'd need to be superhuman to work through the backlog of cases that came through. She thought it was bad at the morgue - it was worse here. Someone hurried past her, nearly knocking her glasses from her face as he jogged a hatchet across the cluttered floor.

It was a wonder none of them had cracked, all they'd have to do is reach out. There were plenty of knives, hatchets, guns - you name it, someone had assaulted someone else with it. She knew that. She'd even heard of someone being beaten to death with a plastic phallus. That had been one hell of an awkward workday and just thinking about it made her blush. Come to think of it, it wasn't that difficult. Some cops made a sport out of it.

She found him at a station, one of the few calm and collected people carefully going about his job. Studying a bat under a magnifying glass. As she watched, he plucked a hair from the grip of the thing and transferred it to a bag.

'What occurs once in every minute, twice in every moment, yet never in a thousand years?' He asked.

She paused to first consider how the hell he knew she was there. 'Tha's a tough one.' She commented. 'How do yer know I'm here?'

'You wear a lot of perfume. The answer is the letter M.'

She sniffed her labcoat surreptitiously. She didn't wear perfume at work, who-? Christine. She'd been complaining about the homeless veteran corpse stinking up the place worse than a floater and sprayed about that expensive waste of-

'It's nice.' He commented.

She felt the blood rush as her face heated up. What was Christine using again? Chanel? She had to find a stockist during lunch. 'Ah have some more evidence fer you.' She muttered quickly to detract from her rapidly warming face.

'Oh?' He turned to take the packets from her. 'What case are these?'

'Th' homeless veteran case.' She replied.

He arched a brow, as though disbelieving that one homeless soldier's murder would be getting so much attention when there'd been a hundred more just last year that were still waiting to be looked at properly. Why the early pass?

'Detective Gordon thinks this is connected to th' missin' persons.' She answered his unasked question.

'And he's looking for a definite link.' He studied the packets for some time and smiled as he signed for custody of evidence and took them. 'I'll see what I can do, but we're juggling a lot of cases at the moment,'

She'd noticed. 'Well, he's not th' only one bein' juggled.' Bernie replied. 'Unsolved murder of some poor bastard tha' had tha' snot beaten outta him somethin' fierce got put on the backburner fer this. Wus so bad it looked like he had whiplash.'

'What killed him?' Edward asked curiously and turned to look at her.

'Perforated lungs we think. Yer ribs're meant to protect yer lungs but they're not always yer lungs friends, ye ken?' She smiled sadly. 'We don't exactly need this either, what with the mayor an' all his promises.' She could feel her accent getting thicker just because he was flustering her. Goddamn how could he not tell? Practically the whole duty-room knew she had the biggest, geekiest crush on Edward Nygma and he was completely oblivious to it.

'Over the homeless kidnappings?'

'Tha kiddie kidnappin' case. Aye, the mayor's been puttin' pressure everywhere.' Bernie sniffed. 'Even on the morgue. He got pushed to tha' side so Santangelo an' Stagg could focus on tha' dead veteran. Ah'm afraid if cases keep jugglin' like this, the poor wee thing's gonna get missed but naeone will listen. '

'Why don't you perform the autopsy then, Bernie?' He asked and speared her with a look that sent her writhing. Damn she had it bad, didn't she? How could he not notice that she had the biggest damn crush on him on earth? At the Christmas party she'd spent far, far more than the obligatory ten dollars and she wasn't even including bribing some hapless call handler to even get him for her secret Santa.

Her cheeks, already pink, darkened somewhat and she stammered for an excuse. Several trotted onto her tongue. 'Ah cannit...Wish ah could. Ah'm not a pathologist an' even if ah were, Ah'm not allowed to touch homicides for at least six month and tha' teuchter bastard Doctor Stagg put me on notice. If ah screw up again, ah'm fired.' She finished bitterly.

'That's a stupid rule. You're clearly capable enough.' He commented.

Well wasn't he full of compliments today? It made it hard for her to be any kind of professional around him. She managed to get her mouth working long enough to ask 'An' what've yer done today?'

'Bullock's missing persons case and coincidentally, the dead waiter.' He smiled. 'Not everyone forgot you know.'

'Really?' That was a relief. It was bad enough with gangbangers and mobsters in Gotham, it was nice to know someone would go back to the "Lesser" crimes.

'It was the missing persons I've had most progress with. My results pointed them in the right direction.' Edward smirked proudly and told her of the Arkham link and the very few stockists. 'Using a drug that's in limited supply is stupid and it got them caught.'

'Yer think?' Bernie shuddered. 'Poison pins and kiddies. Ah hate seein' kiddies in the morgue.'

'Why? They have just as much statistical chance of ending up there as everyone else.' He muttered. Excellent point, Sherlock. Unfortunately, in a place like Gotham, they absolutely were. She saw more battered babies and strangled little boys and girls than she'd like to admit.

'So, how would yer do it diff'rent?' Bernie wondered as she leaned against his desk.

'Well I would use a generic drug for starters,' He replied. 'Rohypnol perhaps.' He looked thoughtful and highly adorable as he seriously considered it.

'Tha' date rape drug?'

'Yep!' And he gave one of his 'I know better than you' smirks. 'Want to know why?'

'Easily accessible, almost the same effects and much less suspicious ter use?' She guessed.

'You would know that, working in a morgue.' He mocked lightly with a smile.

Job done - contents delivered - she could go back to the morgue and very casually interrogate Christine about her perfume choices.

'Hey Bernie.' Allen had come out of nowhere and blocked her path. 'I got a question for you.'

Of all the- He was practically looming over her - again.

'Ah- ah'm kinda busy, mebbe another time?' She stuttered. She didn't want to do this, didn't want to talk to him, he couldn't make her talk!

'Have you had any unidentified corpses lately? Short, hooked nose, looks like a penguin?'

Unidentified-? She flashed onto the scene just days ago of Bullock asking Christine the same thing. Why were they interested in some specific but unfound corpse? What had Bullock said his name was?

'C'mon Bernie.' He wheedled.

'Why dinnit you ask the homicide detectives?' She mumbled. 'Bullock an' Gordon would probably be more than happy ter help-'

'No. I'm asking you.' He replied harshly.

So, he didn't want Bullock or Gordon to know he was interested. Why? Come to that, why was it her business?

'Ah cannit- Ah dunno-' She shrunk back as he moved closer, like a predator.

Thankfully Montoya appeared to leash him. 'Crispin. I've got the address.'

He paused and nodded to her before he turned back to Bernie. 'You'll keep an eye out, won't you, Bern?'

An unfamiliar anger brewed. Only her friends called her Bern. He smiled at her, like a shark and turned to follow his partner.

Everyone was looking for Oswald Cobblepot.


A/N: The first chapter was abrupt, wasn't it? Anyway, say hello to Bernice Constance Lynch. Bernie to everyone but Bern only to her friends. I'll be updating every Sunday with a chapter on the previous week's episode because what better way to settle into a character?

Flying in the face of my rule about answering reviews (seriously I usually forget to thank the people who take the time to write reviews) I'll start answering!

Bat-teen28: She will forever be adorably socially awkward around Edward and Edward will be completely oblivious because: Cute.

The Cowgirl Bookworm: Thank you very much! I've had plenty of practice at writing him!

Kira Tsumi: Glad to hear it! Hopefully, you enjoy the second chapter as much as the first.

Scribblescribblescribble: You know me far too well by half!

CeliaSingsSongs: I'm pleased you feel her realistic. I can get particularly fussy about that.