Chapter 2: Ho-warts here we come
They got on a big train to go to hogwarts. Draco Malfoy was dancing sensously on the table because that's the only thing you can do with a pigfarts education. Blondie gave him a 10 and whats his face gave him a 20. Malfoy was all like "bitch please those are american dollars I have no use for those. Also, I am unsure of my sexuality." 1D boy was all like "damn boy you hottt but I looove louis"
so on the train all these bitches by crying all like "the series is not over not over nooooo". But the blondie cassete was all like "you dummies yes it is get ova yo self".
So all the potterheads started poking her with their wand sticks and now she is bruised.
But the taco boy was all protective of her (at this point in the story, class, do you ship casette and one boy?)
"Awww helll nawww"
He smiled at them, and that was the point in history when all the potterheads found a new fandom: the directionators (or whatever the fuck they're called I don't really give a rats ass except that they are really hot not the directionalators I mean 1d haha I bet they're called 1d because they all share a dick)
Then cassate-tape and gay boy ran from the train and straight into the big-ass castle. It smelled of roasted turkey and spearmint toothpaste. She was really hungry because she's a fat ass.
"Yo dude I want some food"
"aww hell no you blighter I don't think that's a good idea"
"bitch I will eat your face I am so damn hungray"
"oh no"
So she started licking his face and biting his lip super sexually (smut rating lol)
"I am a canibaalll but not like windingo but more like kesha lol. I actually just ate a cake and I'm not hungry. I'm just really horny."
"then why didn't you ask to have sex with malfoy wtf he's such a man slut he would have gone for it"
"Because he's albino lol"
The the one-direction boy louis with the justin bieber hair can in and he started crying.
"NOOOOOOOOOO HARRRYYYY I thought we was gonna be together forever you promised."
Cassete-tape was all like "lol I shot your ship down with a cannon" (but not like an artsy hipster blog cannon camera, like a fangirl cannon)
Harry was all like "bitch please you don't know about the things we do I bet louis lane still loves me, righ loius honey baby bear you are mine forever right honey boo?"
Louis responded: "no".
to be coninued
