PinkNinja: Oh my god, I'm so tired. So much homework. I don't think I can handle it all.


It's impossible to say 'I love you' without a voice. Well, it's impossible to say anything, really. Truth is, I'm a mute. This meant that I can't say anything but I could hear and see just fine. It's a curse if you think about it. How am I a mute? Is there more mutes than me? You see, when you're born into the world that I was born into, you'll have a 50/50 chance of being either a mute or a talker. If I had a wish, just one wish, then I would want to be able to hear a voice. Either it be mine or someone else's. It gets a little silent in our part of the line. Oh! I almost forgot to tell you, but there is a law, or rule, that states in big black bold letters that we mutes can never EVER interact with the talkers in ANY way. It's sad but who can interfere with the law? Anyways, there's a line, a line that separates the mutes and talkers. It's literally just a simple line drawn onto the sand that splits us apart. So I sit here, near the line, watching the moon and stars twinkle in the dark sky that seems to have covered the once blue rooftop. I just watch as time passes by and just forget about all of my surroundings, taking in the salty ocean smell and feeling the cold wind slap my face. It doesn't hurt , but it's not pleasant at the same time. I close my eyes and take deep breath, inhaling and exhaling. I don't notice another person come by and sit down next to me by the line. I don't notice his blue hat with the yellow puffball on top of his head. I don't notice him staring at me, taking a good look at my face. I don't notice how part of his hair sways to the left and the other part sways to the right. And I definitely don't notice his mesmerizing dark blue eyes. Okay, maybe I do notice all the features on him but I didn't quite catch his name.

"My name is Craig."

This time I do look at you, taking in more serious details about your face. I frantically write some words on the sand. He looks at them and just chuckle.

"I know I'm not supposed to talk to you but you seem nice. What's your name?" His voice is a bit nasally but I think it's kind of cute.

I scribble down some words onto the sand with my finger again.

"Kenny, huh? Well I guess we're friends now."

Friends, huh? So he's my first friend? I didn't expect it to be a talker of all things! Here's the thing, I don't have much friends. Being mute is not the way to interact and get social as far as I know. I involuntarily smile and nod my head. All I wanted was to hear a voice and I finally did.

But at what price?

So here I am again, waiting for his return. I'm waiting for Craig to talk to me. I'm willing to listen. To hear more of his voice. So he tells me about his day. About his sister, about his friends, about everything in his life basically. He says he hates his life being one of the talkers. He says, if he could be like me, then it would be great. And I just sit there, listening to him keep on talking with his mouth. His mouth that can emit beautiful words and I wish that I could talk like him.

But then everything breaks away and falls apart and you have no one to blame but yourself.

I finally had the courage to step over the line and meet some of his friends. He kept pestering me about crossing that I had to. Well, I kind of wanted to too. Everything about his part is loud and talkative. I expected this much.

"So you are the one he keeps talking about. The way Craig describes you is right to the spot." His friend with the brown hair had said to me. What was his name? I remember it had started with a C but that was it. The boy with the brown hair had green eyes. That was unexpected. His green eyes were natural and I put my face up close to his to examine them. For some reason his cheeks turned a dark shade of red that I've never seen. They were somewhat natural too. As I pulled myself away I looked over to find Craig kind of glaring at his friend. He pulled me close and told me I had to go back. Told me that if I didn't leave, they would get suspicious. So I left. I felt giddy for some reason. I couldn't tell anybody that I had crossed the line. They'll never forgive me.

What's the point? I can't forgive myself for the things I've done, even now.

I sneak back over everyday now and I enjoy every minute there. I've made some friends there too! I've been sneaking there every day that I hadn't noticed my sister getting sick and even more with each passing day. The doctors said that it was a simple cold but it had gotten worse. So now I'm by her bed in the hospital crying my eyes out. I notice my sisters features because I want to remember her one more time. Her face is deathly pale, her brown hair is disheveled, and she looks as if she's going to go anytime soon. Her breathing is a bit heavy and she tells me not to worry. That it wasn't my fault even though it was. If I had never passed the line. If I had never interacted with him. I can't keep this up anymore. My sister is going to die and I've been causing it. So I wait for him to meet me by the line and when he does, I can't help but stare up at the dark sky, hoping that tears won't interrupt what I'm about to say to him. I can't look at him because I know that once I look at his eyes, I'm done for. I can't say no. He gets near me and step over the line that has caused me grief and he asks me what's wrong. I can only hand him a slip of paper saying goodbye. And I run, I run and run and run back to my house, crying and bawling because today. I have lost a friend that I can never get back. My heart aches and trembles but I can't do anything. Heavy breaths and gasping followed by tears are left on my beaten up bed. But no sound emits from my mouth. Because I'm a cursed mute.

But as time goes on, she doesn't get better. He doesn't stop sitting near the line waiting for me. And I don't stop blaming myself for it.

By now, I'm as bad as my sister. My face is deathly white, my eyes are bloodshot from all the crying, and I won't eat or drink unless I need to (which is not that often). My baby blues eyes are now a dull shade of blue, my hair is tousled, and everything is boring. A world with no sound is suffocating. It feels as if I can't breathe. As if I'm drowning. Every day, after the other, time passes on and I feel a part of me slipping away into the cracks of the floor. I'll keep sitting there, legs close to my chest until I can't take it anymore. Until I feel that I am starting to lose my mind.

He's here. He's here to talk to me. For me to explain everything to him. But I can't because I can't put it into words. Because I'm a mute.

I'm in my room and somebody barges in and it's him. He doesn't look angry. It's a bit of sadness and nothing at the same time. He grabs me by the hand, not daring to make a sound, as if he was a mute and took me over to where we first met. Only then, he starts talking.

"Why are you doing this?"

I can't answer, so I look up because I feel tears threaten me again.

"Why did you leave me with a goodbye? Did you think it wasn't going to affect me? Did you think that it didn't matter? As if you could just flush away our friendship? Because if you wanted that then you can have it." He tosses me the crumple note I gave him and left me standing there crying once again.

Because it doesn't matter. Because I shouldn't have done anything in the first place.

I've been keeping the note with me since he threw it back at me. He wrote something in there. All it says is 'Why?' and I want to answer him but it'll just make things more complicated than it already is. But I still write down the reason. Because if I couldn't say goodbye to you then one of my most important family members would die. Because my sister is everything to me. Because I'm pathetic and can't take all the pressure that's building up inside of me. Because… because… Because if I stood around with you any longer, you would notice my feeling for you and leave me once you found out. Because guys shouldn't like each other. Because it's wrong.

Because I'm scared.

They found out. About me and you. They found out that we've been interacting. And they're going to kill you for it. I didn't think it was this serious but it was. Now they're going to kill us. They took you in first, then me. Into this containment room.

"Now tell me, why did you HAVE to screw things up? You first blondie, tell me or I'm going to have to use force."

I was trembling. They gave me paper and a pencil but I couldn't move my hand. I couldn't tell them. Not if they were going to kill us.

"Now all I want are answers and if you can't tell us then I'm going to have to force you." I heard knuckles crack.

"It's because we were lonely and had no one else to play with." I looked over to him. He had a straight face on, not even scared by the man in front of us.

"Why not just play with your own kind of people? Why'd you have to go make it harder for us? Because of you two, there are more problems then there was in a month!" Everything that came out of the man's mouth was exactly the things that I didn't want to hear. That I was causing more problems. That everything was once again, my fault.

"Well, maybe because this rule is fucking stupid and we shouldn't be listening to it anyways! Maybe because you guys are idiots that came up with this thing to make us feel terrified of the other! Have you even-"Craig's sentence was cut short as I heard a skin–on-skin contact. I looked over, eyes wide, and saw his head turned to face one side, the redness already beginning to form on his cheek.

"YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH! WE CAME UP WITH THIS FOR A REASON! NOT BECAUSE WE WANTED TO MAKE US FEEL TERRIFIED OF THE OTHER! SO STOP BABBLING AND TELL ME THE TRUTH BECAUSE I NOW YOU AINT' TELLING IT TO ME NOW! REMEMBER, I HAVE THE AUTHORITY TO USE FORCE I YOU AREN'T COOPERATING WITH ME." His words boomed in the place we were currently held at. My ears started to hurt and I winced. Craig's hands were behind him and were tied together with rope so that he couldn't hurt him in anyway and mine were free because I needed to write if I ever was going to tell them the truth. With glaring eyes, Craig said two words.

"Make me." These two bold words were going to get him killed.

So he did, punches were being thrown at his face and I just stood there watching. Blow after blow after blow. I opened my mouth and tried to scream stop but nothing came out. Tears had dropped to the ground, sliding off my cheek. I started to scream even though nothing came out.

STOP! STOP, PLEASE!

My throat burned and started itching. I could get over to them because they had my legs chained to one part of the wall. I started shouting but still, nothing. My throat burned and hurt. I couldn't do anything. Craig was going to die right in front of my eyes. He was going to be beat to death.

STOP! PLE-

I felt that I had ripped a hole in my throat as an opening had broke. Tremendous pain was at my throat and I felt as if I could pass out.

"-E-ASE, ST-OP!"

He stopped his fists and looked over at me.

"Y-you.. You talked! But you're a mute!"

"Pl-se st-p h-rt-ng h-m." Vowels were missing, throat was buring, I was going to pass out. I felt my breathing become heavier as my eyes threatened to close. I felt that I was bleeding everywhere. I was suffocating and I couldn't breathe. No matter how many breaths I took, I would never ever feel the air rush to my lungs. I was going to eventually die. My eyes got heavy as he rushed over to me. Darkness slowly filled my vision and I couldn't see.

But now, I could finally pay for everything that I've done. I've been such a problem for everyone.

I felt myself wake up to the beeping of monitors. How long have I passed out for? Why wasn't I dead? Tubes were on me and I was breathing by the thing on my mouth. I wasn't sure what it was called but it kept me breathing. I looked over the room and saw Craig. His head rested at the corner of the hospital bed as he was sleeping while sitting on a chair. His face was damaged but there were now patches covering up the ugly splotches of purple and blue. I couldn't help but keep staring. He felt a pair of eyes on him and he instantly woke up and stared straight into my eyes. I looked away because I knew he was going to be mad. I knew that I had let him get hurt. And I hate myself for that. But he wasn't mad. He came up to me and hugged me. Face on his chest I couldn't help but to cry all over again. After everything he still welcomes me with open arms.

"Cr-g" The vowels were missing but I had managed to say three letters, but it hurt to say them.

"Don't speak, you're going to kill yourself. Are you okay?" He let go of my and sat back down. I managed to nod as he started saying everything that happened after I had passed out.

"He started freaking out that you could talk and immediately got off me. He thought you were one of us so he let us off. He was the one who paid for your bill and my face. He got everything cleared up and just left. What he didn't know that you were actually just a mute." He chuckled for a bit then looked serious.

"How did you manage to talk?"

I didn't know how to answer that. It just kind of ripped a hole in my throat and almost killed me. So I shrugged. He didn't ask about it anymore. Instead he took out a note and opened it for me to see. It was the note that I wrote to give to him. Well, was going to anyway.

"I found it in your pocket. Look, I'm sorry alright? I didn't mean to blow up on you like that. It's just, with the sudden note that said goodbye on it, you're going to expect to need some answers. Look, if you want to stop hanging out, that's fine."

I immediately shook my head from side to side to stop where he was going with this. He saw and chuckled.

"But, I'd rather us keep being close to each other. I, really like you. You know that right?" There was silence and you winced.

"I knew I shouldn't have said that." He started to walk away but I stopped him. My arms were around him to keep him from going and I got him to sit back down while still hugging him. You remember how I said it's hard to say 'I love you' without a voice? It's still really hard even with a voice. So I murmured.

"L-ove y-o-u."


PinkNinja: O. M. G. I'm tired.