(Dizzy)

My parents have no idea. Not one. All those happy letters I send them…they don't even describe half of it. I'm sure they think we're wandering around, looking for some place to stay, enjoying life. And alright, the last part is true. We are enjoying life, but we sure as hell aren't going around looking for a place to sleep at night. You see, here's what's going on. And how it all happened.

We got here and quickly realized how in over our heads we were. With that tower lighting up the sky, the robots guarding the Strip, and the Kings patrolling everything in that grotto hell-pit outside the Strip, Cain, Zack and I knew instantly we had to come up with something, and something fast. So I made real nice with the Kings. Cain wasn't a fan of it, and we had more than enough arguments about it. But there wasn't any sex between any of the King's members and I. I just pretended that there would be. And they liked the idea of a woman they could chase. Once the King gave us all slips-in to the Strip, we swore we would get them back for the favor. And we did. Oh, we did.

The Omertas, Chairmen, and White Glove Society were the top three names here. That, we also learned pretty fast. Of course there's some lower names, but none owned the top three biggest Casinos. Actually it was a stroke of luck that we ended up here. A big one at that. You see I accidentally met Nero. I didn't mean to, but we bumped into one another, and his bodyguards were all over me. They searched me like I had done it on purpose. But I didn't. And when Nero and his thugs, especially Big Sal, realized their mistake, he was ready to make it up to me in any way he could. I don't know really, why he was so taken with me. When I told him I was from the Capital Wasteland, he was more than just slightly interested. It was his own doing, really.

Giving a lady you don't know access to one of the top three casinos in the Strip? Mistake one. Showing that lady who you think is all about you the ins and outs of how it works, is mistake two. Then offering that lady a job after trying to get inside her pants? Mistake three. I knew as he showed me around Gomorrah, as I saw the dancers, the Brimstone, and the courtyard, that I wanted it. I wanted it all. Every last drop. I think he saw that in my eyes, because he said if I worked hard I could have the world too. But I didn't have to work that hard.

Big Sal was the only one in my way. Cain and Zack were on board, if not a bit skeptical. They didn't understand how three people could bring down one of the biggest names on the Strip, without getting killed or ambushed. With all the time Nero spent with me, I learned. And I explained it to Cain and Zack. We weren't 'taking them down', you see. No, we were simply taking Nero's place. Most of the Omertas were loyal to Nero and Sal because of the money, and here, whomever has the money, has the power. So when I asked Nero to bring in some dancers, promising him a good time if he let my two friends in, he obliged.

Now, at all the casinos here, you have to check your weapons. Only those who run the place are allowed to carry anything of the sort. But what Nero and Sal didn't expect one very, very, important and crucial detail. That both Zack, and Cain, took lessons from my father. I told Nero about my father too. When he started bragging his stupid head off about how he was in good with Legion, and that he only tolerated the NCR due to their services to the casino. Really I don't give a shit about this place enough to get involved with their politics. I just wanted Gomorrah. So anyways, I tell Nero about my father, a trained mercenary, and trained by the Brotherhood at that. He let me know that they probably had information at their decrepit base somewhere in the Mojave about him. That peaked my interest, but we're getting off topic.

No weapons, right? So it's a few dancers, Sal, me, Nero, Zack and Cain. Nobody else, and that was just a lucky streak on my end. So when I gave the signal, they sprang to action. It isn't hard for Cain to kill someone. We had to kill many people on the way here. Same for Zack. Difference being is that Zack didn't get as much one-on-one time with dad as Cain did. Of course the dancers went insane, mad, but once the deed was done, it was just us. And Cain looked right at them, and said to get back to work in their spots outside the private office. We became the leaders of the Omertas. And after that, the rest is history. Everyone followed suit, and Cain makes it a point to run the joint with respect and not fear. He doesn't buy anyone's loyalty, he earns it. Something Nero didn't do. Zack didn't want to run it, said it was too much responsibility. So he took on Big Sal's role, and Cain goes to him for everything. They do business together, and that's nice. I got the beautiful casino that I wanted, and I manage the dancers. If I don't like one of them, they're gone, no questions asked.

Mom has no idea. Dad has no idea. I walk around here in this silky pre-war see through robe and something a bit less than underwear underneath. And the heels. Oh I had no idea outfits like this even existed. Back home it's always armor this and safety that. I'm safe within these walls, and I hardly leave. My chem supplier comes to me. And I get food, and the best of the best. Cain makes sure of that. He doesn't quite agree with my chem usage, but as long as it's not a habit, he's tolerant of it.

Cain walks around in this pre-war suit, too. And he looks positively sexy in it let me tell you. The dancers learned first and foremost, Cain is mine, and mine alone. If we invite one of them into our bedroom, than they listen to me. They pay him no mind, and do as I say. Cain likes it, as most men would, but he's just happy to keep me happy. Right now I'm lounging in our bedroom. Sipping on some classy bubbly liquor that makes me giggle. I have my own vanity here, and my needs are taken care of. I see the door open behind me, and reach for my gun, that's always on my hip. It's just Zack, though, so I smile at him and take my hand away.

"Special occasion?"

He asks while I put some color on my face.

"Cain is taking me out to the Ultra-Luxe tonight, you know that."

"He mentioned it. Something about me taking over for the night. Finally getting tired of being inside?"

I laugh and turn to face him.

"No way. But getting out once in a while is good. Cain wants to treat me."

"Cain treats you…a lot."

"I know. Aren't you happy here, though?"

Zack looks around my bedroom. He nods his head, staring at the giant bed Cain and I get to sleep in every night.

"I am. It's not home, but for right now, it is."

I smirk at him, lighting a cigarette and enjoying this a lot more than he is.

"You really miss that ol' dump, huh?"

"Coming from the girl who plays GNR whenever she can. How the hell do you get it out here anyways?"

"Holotapes. Recordings. And just because I enjoy the Capital Wasteland music more than the Mojave Wasteland music says nothing about me missing home."

Zack sits on the edge of my bed. My bed, not his. I've become unusually over possessive of my things since taking over Gomorrah. It's mine, and not theirs. Sighing, Zack runs his hands over his face, the suit of the Omertas not befitting at all. I won't deny it, he looks a helluva lot better in some armor or Capital Wasteland garb. Not the style here. The style here fits people like me, and Cain. Not Zack, who still pines for home like some wayward puppy. Just to piss him off more, I switch on the music and it's the song 'Jingle Jangle Jingle'. Something from the Mojave Wasteland radio. I even hum along to it to further piss him off.

"This place is nice, and fun. But, it isn't where I belong. And it's not where you belong, either."

I raise an eyebrow as the music causes me to snap my fingers a bit while I play with a pre-war tube of rogue. I think mom and I would get along just fine here. Dad and Cain could rule over that Mr. House fellow just fine. After all, they took down the Brotherhood. And a handful of others. What's one more faction?

"I feel like I belong right here, Zack."

He shakes his head, standing up and blowing cigarette smoke out of his mouth.

"No. Look at yourself. Playing high-class, pretending you know about organized crime and money, but I can see it in your eyes, Dizzy. I can see it plain as day, and everyone else does too. You're just a little girl, pretending she's classy shit, trying to gain some independence from her parents. You're nothing like any of the ladies here, and they can smell it on you. You belong back home, in the Capital Wasteland, fighting Super Mutants. Not profiting some science experiment to cure them. You're use to lawless society, and now you're stuck with rules, regulations, and caged in. Eventually, you're going to want to leave. You don't belong here, Dizzy."

I glare at him. I glare because I'm too angry for words. Zack takes my angry look as his cue to leave, slamming the door behind him. Frustrated, I stand up and toss everything off of my vanity, while the radio plays 'Stars of the Midnight Ranger'. What does he know? Who does he think he is? I love it here. I have status, class, and a damn good and dangerous image. Mom lived here for five whole years, without dad, so why can't I? Why can't I belong somewhere, too? Angry at the music playing on the Mojave radio station, I flip it off and insert a holotape. They're not labeled, and to my luck, it's 'Way Back Home'. I don't get angry at it, instead, I enjoy it.

Going around my bedroom, I lightly touch everything. The things I brought here from home. A picture I found in a pre-war house. My old Raider armor. Picking up my top, I hold it in front of me. I hear my bedroom door open again, but I don't care who it is. I stare at the shirt in my hand, feeling a twinge of loneliness. Maybe…maybe there's some truth to what Zack said. I do miss home. I'll admit it. But why? Why do I miss it? I never had any fun there. I didn't have any friends. Then again, do I have friends here? I spend all my time alone, or with Zack or Cain. The dancers fear me, and the people we do business with are just that. Business associates. I have my own home here. I have this entire casino at my disposal. Money seeping from every pore of my body. But…is it worth anything? To me, it is. I can buy clothes, liquor, ammunition. I can't remember the last time I needed to pull my own gun. We hardly go into the Mojave Wasteland. We simply don't explore. We found the Strip, and that was it. Followed beaten pre-war highways, fought animals we'd never seen before. Enemies we'd never heard of. Getting here was such fun. Setting this place up, was just the same. So…why do I still feel so empty?

"Are you going to Ultra-Luxe dressed like that?"

Cain says, as I hear the familiar sound of his gun being set on the nightstand. Setting down my shirt, I look at him.

"What's wrong?"

He asks me, and I can tell he's tired. Running this place is never easy. There's taxes, and payments to make. Girls to take care of, patrons to watch, liquor to restock, and chips to count. It's rare to see him without a cigar or cigarette in his mouth. Back home, did we ever have this kind of stress?

"Cain? Why'd we leave home?"

Taking off his jacket, Cain falls onto the bed, red sheets fluttering under his weight.

"For adventure and independence."

"Did we find it?"

"If you're asking, than you already know the answer. What's on your mind? A dancer tell you to go back to D.C. again?"

That's happened before, since our speech and ways of doing things are noticeably different. Shaking my head, I sit beside him, kicking off my heels and letting my silky robe brush his vested chest.

"No. Zack came in here. I think he misses home, and his dad. He said we don't belong here. That I don't belong here."

Cain opens his eyes and looks at me. I feel his hand rubbing my shoulder, pulling down the silk robe.

"We don't. It's almost like…this is a different universe than what we're used to. It was fun, but now, that fun seems to be wearing down. I love running the casino, having everyone listen, and being in command, but…what I wouldn't give to see the stars back home."

Due to the constant bright lights here, there's no stars. You can't even see them outside of the Strip. You have to go pretty far out, which we don't do. Back home, anything goes, really. Here, Zack is right. There's rules, and regulations. Caged, he said. He said I was caged, and until Cain mentioned the stars, I didn't understand what he meant. Back home, not even Megaton has walls. I know it did before I was born, but there's nothing keeping you in or out. You can come and go as your please. Tunnels connect the city to the Wasteland, rivers of pure water flow for anyone to take. And there's no taxation.

"You miss home?"

Cain sighs, and nods his head, still rubbing my shoulder.

"I do. I miss home, and knowing what to expect. I miss seeing the wanderers pass by Megaton, seeing the traders, and seeing the dangers from a safe distance. Here, the dangers are always watching you. When we took over the Omertas, we let everyone else know that it was possible. Protecting yourself here, not knowing who you can trust, and it all comes down to money…always…"

"It was survival back home…"

"Here, it is, to an extent. We can go into the Mojave Wasteland, but back home, Diz, we had no factions. No gangs, no sheriffs of any kind except for Charon. But in the Capital Wasteland, Diz it was amazing, and we hardly explored any of it before high-tailing it out of there."

I lay next to him, suddenly losing the urge to go to Ultra-Luxe.

"Instead of going to Ultra-Luxe, let's leave Zack in charge. Let's go to the Mojave for a night. Play some survival game. Find happiness in a warm gun, like dad does."

"That sounds…pleasantly inviting."

As we hang our pre-war outfits up, and trade them in for the armor we came here in, I can't help but feel torn. I love it here, and yet, Cain was right. We never took the time to first explore where we came from. We just plopped ourselves into this lifestyle of parties, drinking and money-laundering before either one of us had the chance to figure out what truly made us smile. Plus there's Zack. I'm not upset he came with, but I wanted something for me and Cain to enjoy. An adventure. Like the adventure we had while getting here. When the truck broke, and we had to walk. We knew if we kept going straight, things would fall into place. And they did. We made it here. 'Civilization' plays as Cain switches the holotape. I find it befitting.

"It's civilized within these walls, Cain."

He turns to look at me, smiling while he puts his gun on his back, just like he used to. It's not the new, small gun he keeps at his waist. It's the one my parents gave him.

"So let's get out for a night."

I smile back, more than just agreeing. We share a kiss, and slip out the back. Zack knows we're going out anyways, so he'll stick around and handle business when he realizes we're gone.

Slipping out of the Strip isn't easy. There's only one way in or out, and that's patrolled by robots. But, we're able to leave unnoticed, and we always carry our admission cards so we can be let back in. Cain has a Pip-Boy, but he doesn't wear it. He uses it for portable music, and it never disappoints. As we leave the ghetto outside the strip, and our feet touch the cool, desert sand, we exhale breaths of relief. It's colder here at night than back home, but you get used to it. If you're native. Reaching for the gun on his back, once we're a mile out and away, Cain smiles. I take his Pip-Boy and turn on the music, as the Lucky 38 tower shines and glows in all its phallic glory. I always figured whomever built it must have been compensating for something.

"The stations out here suck."

I tell Cain as I'm trying to work the Pip-Boy. This one is modified. Usually they wouldn't work without being on someone's arm. Having been tinkered with, this one proves quite difficult.

"Well, it can play holotapes, but I doubt you brought any."

Getting mad at the whole ordeal, I hand it back to Cain.

"Let's just go shoot stuff and get it out of our system."

That's a good way to say it. Getting it out of our system just may do the trick. Sure we're homesick, but we're nothing like Zack said. At least, I'm not. I miss home, I'll admit that. But here, in New Vegas, on the Strip, I'm happy. I have everything I could have ever wanted. And really, I don't have to be like mom and dad to know that Cain loves me. I don't need to run off and destroy factions and all that. That's politics. I don't do politics. I do money. Cain tells me they're one in the same, but I don't care. Mom destroyed the factions on the East Coast because they invaded her shit. They took dad and messed with their heads and all sorts of terrible things. I don't have that here.

Nobody knows who Cain is, or who created him. Frankly, I don't think anyone really cares. The Brotherhood of Steel is a joke out here, since all their troops were wasted on the Capital Wasteland. And even if they did, it wouldn't matter much. We're heavily guarded, protected, safe. I'm not my mom, though, I used to want to be. But why fight for a love, when you already have it? Cain doesn't have to prove anything to me. I still get butterflies, and I'm still happy. Why push the issue so much?

Playing this whole shoot 'em dead game is fun, and we do run into a lot of things and people to shoot. But once we're done, and the sun starts to come up, we start heading back to the Strip. Lucky 38's tower dims slightly, with the sun rising over it, but that's fine with me. I'm tired, smelly, dirty, and probably unrecognizable. I look forward to a hot bath and being pampered by the dancers. Something Megaton couldn't ever have offered me.

"Feel better?"

Cain asks, grabbing my hand as we push through the Kings Palace.

"Yeah, a lot. You?"

"Definitely."

And so we got it out of our system. I don't miss home, or adventure, as much as I did before. I'm happy to walk into the Strip, and into Gomorrah. The dancers still dance, and inside is dimly lit. The smell of hard liquor and tobacco hits me hard. Cain guides me through, and back to his office, and into our bedroom. I peel away the armor, sweat making it stick uncomfortably. Cain does the same, and we call a few girls up. They take the clothes away, while another draws us a hot bath. You don't get this kind of service back home.

"Your bath is ready."

She says. I stopped learning their named. I don't care to. I just look at her, and nod. I feel sore, tired, and I can't wait to wash off all this grime and get into bed. As I watch the dancer leave, she takes a long look at Cain as he takes off his shirt and begins to unbuckle his pants.

"Can I help you?"

I ask her, with a dangerous undertone to my voice. They need money to support their chem addictions. Crossing me is a quick way to get right on the street. All the girls want to work for Gomorrah, so finding one to take her place won't be an issue. She makes eye contact with me, while holding open my bedroom door. I don't expect her to argue with me, but she does. She shuts the door, faces me and folds her arms. I narrow my eyes at her, ready. Cain turns around as he grabs his own bathrobe from a wall hook, and I feel him watching me.

"Actually, you can."

I smirk at her, giving her a coy look.

"Sorry doll, but we don't want a slut in our bed tonight. Now, why don't you scamper on out and go hustle some money, huh?"

"My name isn't 'doll', it's Sarah. And if you don't want any sluts in his bed, why don't you excuse yourself and go work the pole? Go back to the East Coast, you rookie."

"Brazen of you, considering I control your income, and life."

"I'm sick of being scared of someone like you! You have everything! And how did you get it? By sleeping around and getting lucky?"

I storm towards this 'Sarah' person. She, like I figured, gets scared and backs against the wall. I put my face really close to hers, and speak in a low, calm voice. Just like dad would when he got mad. Guess I'm more like him than I thought.

"I have never slept with anyone, except the man you can't seem to stop staring at. And if you don't like how I run things, you can take your sorry ass out on the corner, or I can kill you."

"You wouldn't."

I take my gun from my hip, and point it to her head.

"Try me."

She smirks, so I pull the trigger. Cain jumps a bit, but has no reaction to it, really. He's use to me pulling stunts like this. It's not too great for business, so I don't do it often, but right now it's behind closed doors. Blood covers my half-naked body, face, and the wall. I step back, looking at the mess, feeling more than a bit powerful. Turning my head, I look at Cain.

"Get someone up here to clean this up. I'll meet you in the bath."

He nods, walking towards me. His arms wrap around my waist, and pull me into a passionate kiss. I think it's kind of crazy, that killing gets us excited. But it doesn't bother me. I enjoy it. I enjoy, that we're still this close, while being this young.

"I love you, you know that?"

Cain whispers, tugging at the flimsy bra I wear.

"I love you, too. Get someone to clean this up. And I'll make it up to you before bed…"

There's no argument. He ties his robe and heads out to get someone. I smile, take a bottle of liquor off of the shelf, and head into my personal and beautiful bathroom. Megaton, I miss you, but sweetheart you do not compare to this lifestyle. This power.