"Ohhhhhkay" Kira laughed nervously. "Stiles your low on diesel"

"We'll have to stop" Stiles agreed

"Fucking duh" Lydia responded

Lydia toyed with the giant map for a second "Why do you only had Ordance Survey Maps?"

"I have them for all of the US" Stiles grinned

"So the little tank is petrol station's right?" Lydia alleged

"I wanna buy mentos" Allison said

"And chips"

Stiles and Lydia bickered over the directions while nobody else helped with directions.

"Buy a sat-nav" Lydia finally snapped

"Genius idea!" Stiles said, his voice dripping with sarcasm "I'll just go over to all the handy sat-nav shops around us…" he gestured wildly at the empty landscape "Why didn't I think of that. You, genius, you."

"Shut it, Stilinski. Just because you can't even navigate out of your bedroom…"

"Please get married" Kira muttered under her breath "they're so cute. I totes ship it." she intoned to Scott who smirked.

They finally the petrol station. It had a Wetherspoons and a trinkity gift shop which Isaac forced Derek into. Allison Kira and Scott went to buy enough food to last sevral hours. Lydia went to use the little-girls room… so did Derek.

"So, Stiles asked, what did you all get."

"I dwidn't fworgwottwogwetcrwisps," Allison mumbled her mouth full.

"I got this cute shirt!" Isaac announced, he held up a bag, it's a surprise for someone who needs a bit of love this trip"

I took a while to get everyone assembled and back into the Jeep. Isaac needed the toilet, twice. Kira forgot to buy a toothbrush, so they had to turn around. Lydia had to run back for her phone which she had left on a ledge above the third sink to the left in the bathroom. Finally, Stiles lost patience. "I'm driving away right now so unless it's life-threathening you can't go back, got it?" Scott decided not to mention he wanted to buy a heated u-shaped travel pillow, which were at great prices in this petrol station.

They had only driven for a short while when rain began to pour down and they had a Disney sing-song.

"LOVE IS AN OPENDOOOO_OOOOROOOR!" Scira dueted.

"horrifying," mumbled Alison putting some crisps into her mouth.

"I want to sing reflection form Mulan!" Lydia announced, "attention whore!" mumbled Stiles, as Lydia sang in hauntingly beautiful pervfect pitch.

Isaac sang He's a tramp, Derek didn't look too pleased at the lyrics being mostly directed to him.

"He's a tramp… but he loves it… breaks a new heart… everyday… he's a TRAMP!"

"ooo, oooo, ooo,ooo" Scira harmonised

"He adores it… yeah even I have got it really bad."

"SHUT UP Isaac! it's my turn," Derek announced just to silence Isaacs weirdly sexual cover.

"I will be singing mother knows best from Tangled.

Suddenly thunder struck

"Look at you as a fragile as a flower. Still a little beta, just a sprout…"

"…did he say beta?"

"I think he did"

"You know why you always follow the alpha!"

"NO?"

"that's right to keep you safe from Peterrrr."

"wait whut?" Scott frowned.

"Guess I always knew this day was coming, knew that soon you'd want to leave the paaaack! Soon but not yet, trust me pet. DEEEEREEEEK knows best!"

"oh dear lord no," Lydia sighed.

"Derek knows best, listen to your alpha. It's a scary world out there. Derek knows best, one way or another something will go wrong I sweeaaaar!"

"Please stop!" Kira pleaded.

"Darachs, dogs, were-coyote, kanimas, nogisunays and hunters…. The plague."

"hey!" Allison yelled

"shush, also wolfs bane, Deucaliun and toenails"

"stop!" Kira pleaded.

"no-more!" Scott wailed.

"you'll just upset him!" Isaac stated understandingly. He didn't want Derek to get offended

"Derek's right here, Derek will protect you, all I have is one requessssssst.."

"are you done now?" Allison asked.

"stop the panic, stay in my pack. DEREEEEK… knows, best!"

For the second time that day Derek silenced the jeep.

They drove on and the fun was starting to wear off. They were all thirsty as they hadn't bought anything to drink and the singing had taken its toll.

"Where are we stopping for the night?" Lydia asked

"Erm…" Stiles said "That was Scott's job ask him."

"I definitely remember it was Isaac's job"

"It wasn't"

"I can't believe this." Lydia grumbled "I am the only one here who plans things?!"

"We'll just have to find something nearby. I'll use Siri." Allison alleged "Siri, find me a hotel"

"Do you want me to do a web search for 'How Freda knows hell'?"

"Fuck it" Allison sighed tapping the internet app with disappointment.

"How about that motel, Derek suggests?

"NOOOOO!" everyone except Kira screamed.

Unfortunately there was no other choose than that motel, so they decided to spend the night there

"Excuse me, sir. Um, madam" Stiles said awkwardly to the woman in the booth.

"I am a woman. I HAVE CURVES" She snapped. Not a good start.

"I can see that. Um, obviously" Stiles said awkwardly. Lydia was suppressing a smile.

"We need, like, um, 3 rooms" Stiles had not counted they number in their party.

After getting handing the room cards, Derek pointed out that they were a party of 7 and so two doubles and a triple room was kind of inconvenient for him because he needed a room alone

"Why?"

"I drink the blood of my enemies and it might put a room mate off"

Stiles raises his eyebrows disbelievingly

"Okay" Derek frowned "I have a very intense moisturising ritual"

"So Derek on his own, then me Isaac and scott, and then the girls!" Stiles laughed.

"no we need to stimulate love triangles," Allison pointed out, "how about me Scott and Isaac, Stiles Kira and Lydia."

"…or my plan?" Stiles argued.

So they all settled under Stiles' arrangements.

The night was rough. Isaac had left his teddybear, Stiles his special pillow, and Scott had forgotten his overnight toning waist-band. Derek's razor wasn't working so his ritual was ruined, he cried himself to sleep. Lydia was overthinking her relationship with Stiles, Alison was over thinking ways she could smother Kira, and Kira was trying to remember the lyrics to Derek's mother knows best cover.

The following morning Derek was distraught, he'd forgotten his toothbrush, he didn't have a clean shirt and he had dehydrated skin.

"It's okay," Isaac comforted Derek, "Lydia has moisturiser…"

"it's not the same though,"

"We'll buy you a new bottle, okay?" Isaac smiled.

"What about my shirt?"

"I brought you a present at the petrols station, it's a shirt for you.

Isaac produced a plain white XXXL t-shirt with black letters reading "FREE HUGS", "it's gonna look great on you." Derek went to borrow Lydia's moisturiser sulkily.

Allison laughed evily, last night she had ripped all Kira's t-shirts. Allison felt amazing.

"WHO RIPPED MY SHIRTS!"screamed Lydia.

"balls" thought Allison, she'd ripped Lydias shirts.

"it's okay Lydia, you can borrow one of my shirts" Isaac offered.

"…or she could borrow mine seeing as your weird?" Stiles suggested.

"cool." Lydia said. Going into Stiles's room and picking a big plaid blue flannel shirt, that she wore with acid-wash skinny jeans.

"you look great!" Stiles smiled.

"No, she doesn't!" Derek said sulkily, "these shirts… no fit!" he had lydia's face mask on.

Everyone laughed when a small child ran to Derek and threw their arms around him, "thank-you kind hugging man!" the child lisped. Derek was rigid as a bored… "I'm not okay with displays of any positive emotion!" he weeped in the car.

Scott was poking his abs in a disappointed fashion. Kira wasn't.

The party returned to the road. To Allison's horror Kira actually looked really hot in hotpants and a belly top. Allison removed her top to compete with Kira's hotness.

"woah… damn girl!" Derek grinned.

"if that's how you wish to express your emotions Alison that's okay don't let anyone stop you. You go girl!" Isaac had filled a jar with tiny slips of paper. On the paper there were compliments. They went around the car. Selecting a compliment and reading it… It didn't work.

"Be happy that you can leave high school behind soon, you have an amazing life ahead of you…" Derek scowled at Isaac.

"It's okay to be sexually nervous, waiting is good," Lydia frowned.

"At least your parents aren't constantly doing life threatening things." Stiles rolled his eyes.

"be glad that you're in love!" Allison shook her head.

"Age is just a number," Kira sighed.

"at least you have your health." Scott pouted.

"You're an amazing person, you are smart and courageous, your dreams and aspirations are relevant. The skies your limit, and if you reach for the stars you'll get them because you are an exceptionally extraordinary being!" Isaac grinned happily. "There great aren't they. I spent last night doing them to get rid of the bad Motel California vibes"

"Yeah fucking fabulous."

The drive continued, they speculated which teachers were paedophiles, Derek shifted in his seat uncomfortably. He reassured himself that he knew these underage teens in a legally non-threatening way. He couldn't think of one though.

The drive continued, Kira worked out the age difference between her parents, Alison put her top back on, Isaac gave Stiles emotional support for unknown reason and Lydia pulled the sleeves of Stiles' shirt over he hands to keep them warmer.

"that looks adorable on you!" Stiles flirted shamelessly.

"Good compliment Stiles, way to go!" Isaac pumped.