Why was it that with every tiny bit of progress she made, it seemed to go away the next time she saw Ruby? She was hopeful that after actually getting Ruby to eat that she would open up and start talking to them, but that didn't happen. It was as if their entire conversation didn't happen, and she was back to being the same mopey girl she was from before. It was frustrating, but Weiss would always keep her anger in check, knowing that Ruby went through a traumatic experience, and it wasn't likely that she'd recover any time soon.
Still, she did force the girl to eat several times a day, and she even managed to get her to go take a shower, making sure to quickly change her sheets while she was in the shower, since they were so dirty and disgusting. It felt good to see Ruby being slightly more active, if even just a little bit, but it also hurt to look at her, only seeing a shell of the girl she used to be. They rarely talked to one another, but she hoped that at least her presence was helping Ruby along with her recovery.
Blake on the other hand seemed to only become more hostile towards Weiss since that day. She completely ignored her, even when Weiss tried to apologize to her for snapping like she did. Didn't Blake know that having her apologize – the heiress to the Schnee Dust Company – was quite a feat? She didn't seem to care at all though, and would walk pass Weiss at every attempt at conversation, and soon Weiss did the same right back to her. It was impossible now to tell that they used to ever be friends, since they acted like they hated each other so much now.
Days passed, and soon it was nearly two weeks since Yang's death, and Yang's service was scheduled for the following week. Weiss figured that they were waiting for her family to arrive to Vale from Mistral, and business must have held them up, but either way, it was taking much longer than expected. She was glad that Ice Dust was a thing, and preserving her body wasn't an issue. In a way the delay was good though, because Ruby seemed incapable of even walking much these days, and she didn't want to see the wreck she would be at the funeral.
However, one day she and Blake were called in to Ozpin's office, and they both now stood in front of the man, who just stared at both of them silently. Weiss and Blake didn't fidget at all as he stared at them, and finally he relaxed slightly, "How are you two doing?"
What a ridiculous question, Weiss couldn't help but feel annoyed, but she didn't voice her opinion – not to this man – and she replied, "Good."
"I'm fine." Blake replied.
Weiss wondered if he knew that they were both lying. It was likely, given what they went through, but again, she didn't dare ask. Instead, she just looked the man in the eyes, and kept her hands behind her back, standing up as straight and tall as she could possibly stand.
"You both have my condolences. When word reached us about what occurred, I felt personally responsible for what happened, and I want to make things up to you in any way I can." He paused briefly, "How's Ruby doing?"
"How do you think?" Weiss snapped, and then her eyes widened, "I mean…"
"No, it's alright," Ozpin waved off her concern, "It's a ridiculous question. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that she's taking this the hardest out of all of you, given what she'd been through before."
Weiss wanted to ask about that – she briefly heard Ruby mention her mom when she was trying to wake Yang up that one day, but she never got any answers regarding it. Perhaps this was as close as she was going to get to any answers. "She's… Taking it very hard. She's not really functioning anymore." Weiss explained.
"I see." Ozpin's expression didn't change, but he did lean back in his chair, "I suppose I should get to the reason as to why you've all been called here."
"That would be appreciated." Blake muttered curtly, refusing to look over to Weiss.
"Simply put, when a team goes through such an accident." He visibly grimaced as the use of that word, but he shook his head ever so slightly to get back on topic, "We give the team some options on what to do. With Ruby seemingly out of commission as well, you both don't have partners. There's a few options we can do here – we can partner you two up –"
"NO!" Weiss exclaimed, "I refuse to be partnered with her!"
Ozpin didn't say anything, though he did look even wearier than before, "Very well. Then you have two options: I can put you two on different teams who are also missing a team member, or you can stay on the same team and wait for a replacement to fill the remaining spot."
"I want to be on a new team," Blake replied immediately once Ozpin was done.
Weiss grit her teeth, glad that Blake wanted to leave, and yet she was worried as to how Ruby would react when she learned that Blake would be leaving. She looked back towards Ozpin, and saw him looking at her expectantly, so she shook her head, "My partner's still around, so there's no need to put me with someone else. If you can find a replacement pair of partners to join our team, then I would appreciate it."
Ozpin's frown disappeared, and he looked at her neutrally, "Ms. Schnee, it's not uncommon for Hunters-in-training to quit this academy when one of their friends die – or in this case, family. If Ruby remain like this for much longer, we will start to look into other options for her."
"Why haven't you done that already?" Weiss asked.
"We always give our students time to try and come out of it themselves. The nature of being a Hunter means that you will see people die, it's not pessimism – it's just our line of work. It's always unfortunate when this happens while you're still growing into your roles, but in a way it's a test. If you're incapable of getting pass this, then you're hardly prepared to become a hunter."
"Her sister DIED!" Weiss cried, "Do you really expect her to get over this in a week?!"
Ozpin shook his head, "No, I don't." He replied evenly, "If she can't, she'll be removed from the school, and can come back anytime she wants. Granted, she'll have an entirely new team, but that's just the way things are."
"That's…" Weiss looked away, feeling her heart clenching, she didn't want a new partner. Ruby was just fine, "I… See…"
"If you really want to remain her partner, then I'll say this now: she has one more week before her evaluation is completed. If she's deemed unfit to resume schooling here, then she'll be removed. If you want to continue being partners with her, then you have that much time to try and get her back on her feet, are you still willing to try?"
"Yes." Weiss replied immediately, surprising even herself with her conviction, "I'll do it. Ruby's my friend, and I hate seeing her like this…" She blushed lightly, realizing she said that aloud, but she pressed on, "We're all hurting from this, but I'll make sure she's fit to attend in a week's time."
Ozpin finally smiled, "I'm glad that there's at least a ray of hope amidst the darkness." He looked away from Weiss, "It'll take a week or so for us to evaluate who'll be your new partner and team, Blake, so if you want, you may sleep in a guest room, due to the fact that you're no longer part of team RWBY."
"I'll take the guest room." Blake replied easily.
Weiss again felt anger welling up, but along with that anger was another emotion – fear. She didn't have a single idea how Ruby would react to the news that Blake was no longer part of her team. Still, she had to tell her, hiding it from Ruby wouldn't do any good, especially if she learned it from someone else. So she steeled her resolve, and nodded her head to Ozpin as she and Blake left the office.
XxXxXxX
Weiss entered her room that night, and glanced over to Blake's bed, where all of the girl's stuff was already cleared out. It was only a few hours later, but it seemed that Blake was quite eager to leave. Weiss glared angrily at the girl's bed, but she turned towards Ruby's bed, and the glare faded away. Just how in the world was she going to break this all to Ruby? Even worse than that though, how was she going to make Ruby better within a week? She had so much conviction when confronting Ozpin, but now, back in her room, she had no idea how to fix things.
"Ruby?" She called, hoping the girl would say anything back.
As usual, silence met her.
"Ruby, we have to talk, can you please just say something?" She called out.
She was thrilled when she saw some shifting on Ruby's bed, and then girl glanced down at her, "What's up?" It was her usual greeting, but there was no warmth behind it – no life. She just looked dead-eyed, and Weiss swallowed a lump in her throat as she stared.
"Ruby… I met with Professor Ozpin today, he wanted to talk to Blake and I about what to do from now on." Weiss explained. Ruby didn't make any effort to say anything, so she continued, "He… He asked if we wanted to be moved to a different team."
Ruby blinked, and averted her eyes, "Oh…"
"I'm staying here," Weiss replied quickly, "But… Blake's gone."
"I see…" Ruby muttered, looking away, and then she fell back on her bed again.
"Ruby…" Weiss frowned, trying to think of something to say, "Are you…" What, okay? Of course she wasn't ok! What could she say or do to make things better though?! She thought long and hard about how she usually dealt with things, but again, nothing was coming up. "Well, I guess we should go to bed."
She let out a defeated sigh as she marched over to her bed and sat on the sheets, glancing at her dresser. She had to get dressed for bed, and while she used to go into the bathroom to change, that wasn't a problem anymore. Ruby wouldn't move from her bed, so Weiss had plenty of privacy just changing into her pajamas right there. She wondered briefly if she should go get some food, but shrugged it off, deciding that she wasn't very hungry.
She just felt empty as she lied down on her bed and starred up at the top bunk. Another restless night it was then… She turned onto her side, and tried to get to sleep. It was a futile effort, and she stayed awake for hours, her thoughts twisting and turning in her head, causing more and more worry with each passing second. She was so deep in thought that she nearly missed the sound of Ruby climbing down from her bed.
Ruby was probably heading to the bathroom, so Weiss didn't bother to say anything, and just tried to get to sleep. As expected, Weiss heard the sound of the bathroom door shutting, proving her guess correct. Minutes ticked on, and Weiss started to wonder just how long Ruby was going to stay in there for. Usually she was in there for ten minutes at the most, and then she was out, but right now… She shifted in her bed, and looked at the bathroom door. Ruby was taking quite a while.
Another ten minutes…
Weiss glanced at her scroll on her dresser, checking the time. Ruby was taking an unusually long time in the bathroom, and it was honestly beginning to concern her. Still, it really wasn't her business, so she tried to close her eyes and get back to sleep.
Ten more minutes.
Weiss couldn't sleep, and now she was worried. Letting out a sigh, she flung her legs over her bed, and stood up, taking large strides over to the bathroom. She didn't know why she was doing this, but better safe than sorry, right? She knocked on the door, "Ruby, are you alright? You've been in there for a while." Another knock, "Ruby?"
Ruby hadn't been the most responsive person this week, but she would usually answer if she was persistent about getting an answer from her, but now… Fear gripped Weiss's heart, but she forced herself to take a deep breath. "Ruby. If you don't answer me, I'm going to open the door." She placed her hand on the doorknob, waiting for Ruby's reply so she could just turn around and try to sleep. Unfortunately, no reply ever came, so she took another deep breath, and twisted the doorknob.
Red.
Red covered the sink and on the floor and… Wait. No, that's… Blood. Weiss's eyes widened as she saw Ruby collapsed on the floor, her arms held out in front of her, and she could see several deep cuts in her wrists. Ruby's head was against the floor, her eyes closed, and Weiss could see flashbacks of when Yang died – except this time, instead of Yang lying on the ground, it was Ruby. She stared for what seemed like years, looking at the blood oozing out of her wound, and seeing the red drip onto the floor.
She kicked into action immediately, rushing over to Ruby's side and kneeling beside her, not caring at all that she was getting blood on her night gown. "Fuck! Ruby! What were you thinking?!" She exclaimed, looking fearfully at the girl, "Please… Please be breathing…" She pressed her finger against Ruby's neck, and felt a pulse, and she nearly cried out in joy when she felt it. "Not yet… We have work to do…" She mumbled, looking around the room.
The razor Ruby used – how did she get her hands on that? – was drenched in blood, and lay on the ground only a few inches away from Ruby's open hand. Weiss picked it up and immediately threw it into the trash, and then she got a towel, wetting it in the sink, and brought it down to Ruby's wrists, both of which had been cut up. Wiping away the blood, she was glad to see that the cuts didn't look anywhere near as deep as they initially appeared, but they were still bleeding quite badly, so she applied pressure to her wrists.
"Weiss…?" Ruby mumbled, her eyes opening slightly as she looked up at the girl, "What… Are you doing?"
"What am I doing?" Weiss asked, her lips trembling in rage, "You – HOW DARE YOU ASK ME THAT!" She screamed at the girl, causing Ruby to wince, "What the fuck are you doing?!" She cried out, "You – You tried to kill yourself! You idiotic dolt! Why would you do that?!"
Ruby closed her eyes, "Because… I'm not a good team leader." She mumbled, "I got Yang killed, and now Blake is leaving us, and I can't do anything about it… I'm worthless…"
"So you tried to kill yourself?!" Weiss exclaimed yet again, "Ruby! You – ugh!" She closed her eyes tightly, trying in vain to fight the tears, "Do you know how scared I was?!"
"Why?" Ruby asked, pissing Weiss off with how genuinely confused she sounded.
"Why?! Because you're my friend! If you died how do you think I would feel?" Weiss asked, "We already lost Yang, we can't lose you too!"
"But I'm worthless…" Ruby repeated, "I – I can't do anything right…"
Weiss continued to wipe away the blood, and got up to get some gauze quickly from the supply cabinet above their sink, she also made sure to grab some hydrogen peroxide, and she went back to Ruby's side. "You're hardly worthless Ruby, you're just going through a lot right now. You'll be fine, but you can't do this to yourself!"
"But it's all my fault… Everything is my fault! Yang shouldn't have died… It's all because of me!" Ruby whimpered, wincing as Weiss poured some hydrogen peroxide on her wounds. "I killed her!"
"Ruby! You. Did. Not. Kill. Her." Weiss growled out each word, "Do you understand?"
"No…" Ruby cried, "She's dead because of me…"
"Did you stab your scythe through her while we weren't looking?" Weiss asked, wiping away the peroxide as the bubbling began to die down, "Did you do that to her?"
"No, but –"
"No, shut up, Ruby." Weiss spoke gently, "She voluntarily did that for you. Yes, you made a mistake, but Yang could have not jumped in front of you and took the blow and instead let you die – she did it because she loved you."
"But if I was never in that position, this wouldn't have happened…"
"But you WERE in that position, stop thinking about other scenarios of what could have happened! If Yang didn't save you, do you think she'd be alright with that? Do you think she'd be just fine?" she let the question sink in, and shook her head, "She'd be doing the EXACT same thing you are doing now, moping around and whining!"
Ruby lifted her arms and covered her eyes, crossing her arms over her face, "But… I… I miss her so much… It's just like with mom…"
There was the mention of her mother again, and Weiss gently grabbed one of Ruby's arms and started to wrap gauze around it, "So you're going to kill yourself?" Weiss asked.
"I – I can't handle this anymore," Ruby cried, "I don't want to feel guilty anymore, I just want it all to stop!"
"So you're going to make your sister's sacrifice completely in vain?" Weiss asked, speaking harsher than she would have liked, but it did get Ruby to stop crying, if only for a brief second.
"I still see it every time I close my eyes," Ruby muttered, tears pouring from her eyes as Weiss finished wrapping her other wrist in gauze, "I see her dying with that Grimm's hand through her no matter what, and I can feel the blood on me still… It's all over me…" She looked at her hands, and then scratched at her face, "It never goes away, no matter what I do…"
Weiss was confused by the abrupt change in subject, but that was the most she heard Ruby say in over a week, so she allowed the girl to continue to talk, "There's nothing there, Ruby." She told the girl quietly.
"No… There is," Ruby insisted, "I can feel it all over me! Yang's mad at me! She didn't want to die, and now she won't let me forget!"
"Calm down," Weiss muttered, helping the girl sit up, "It's not Yang coming back to haunt you or anything like that. If anything, I think she would come back to try and cheer you up." Weiss attempted to smile, but Ruby still looked downtrodden.
"I'm so sorry…" Ruby cried, wiping her eyes, "I just want to it all to stop, I want it to end…" Her hands started twitching, and they felt around the floor, "I want it to end."
Weiss's eyes narrowed, and she gripped Ruby's hand tightly in her own, "Stop." She commanded, and Ruby did as instructed, "You will NOT be cutting yourself anymore, do you understand?"
"But… Soon… I'll be all alone… Mom left me… Yang left me… Blake left me, and soon you will too, and I'll be alone." Her bottom lip trembled, and she bit it to try and stop crying, but it was absolutely no use.
"I'm not going to leave," Weiss whispered to her, "Didn't you hear what I said earlier today? I refused to go to a different team, I want to stay with you."
Ruby paused, and then looked up at Weiss with wide tear-stained and hopeful eyes, "R – Really?"
"Of course, you dolt! I don't want anyone else in this school to be my partner!" She exclaimed, gently flicking her on the forehead, "Besides, I wouldn't give up on you that easily, so I'd appreciate it if you thought a little bit higher of me too."
Ruby's mouth moved upward into a grin, despite her tears, "F – For real?"
"Yes!" Weiss exclaimed in exasperation, "I really, really mean it! Get that through your thick skull!"
"Thank you…" Ruby muttered, her smile falling as more tears fell down her face, "I – I don't know if I can b – be there for you though, I…" She started crying aloud again, covering her eyes yet again, "I don't know what to do now…"
"For now you should go to bed," Weiss replied, "Can you stand?"
"I'm not tired," Ruby muttered childishly, sitting on the bathroom floor, "Just go on without me. I'll go to bed when I feel like it."
A small flash of anger caused Weiss to grip Ruby's hand, and yank her forward, "Do you think of me as an idiot, Ruby Rose? You want me to leave you in here so you can just cut yourself again?"
Ruby looked aside guiltily, "I…"
"Listen to me," Weiss got her attention, "You are all that I have left now."
There was a very pregnant pause as both girls just stared at one another. Ruby looked at her with a mixture of surprise and disbelief, and Weiss felt her cheeks burning up as she realized just what she said. Still, Weiss didn't allow herself to hesitate any longer, and she pulled Ruby upward and onto her feet. "D – Do you really mean that?" Ruby asked, her eyes still focused intently on Weiss, the most focused she'd been ever since the incident.
Weiss nodded, "My team's all that mattered to me… I – I never got along with my family, and my parents were never really in my life, so…" She shrugged, "You guys were the first people I got to know, and I got attached… Now Yang's gone, and Blake doesn't want to associate with us anymore… you're the only one left. If something were to happen to you, or if I had to go on without you, I don't know what I would do."
"Weiss…" Ruby muttered, "I… I'm sorry…"
"It's alright," Weiss murmured, "I understand."
"What should I do?" Ruby asked.
"I don't know," Weiss answered honestly, "We should just go to bed now, ok? I'm not going to leave you in here alone, no matter what."
"Ok." Ruby replied, allowing Weiss to drag her out of the bathroom and into their room. They were quiet as they wandered over to their bunk, and Ruby looked hesitantly up at her own bunk, and started shaking.
"Ruby?"
"It's nothing," She lied.
Weiss wished that were the case, but given the fact that Ruby was starting to cry again, she knew something was up. It would be so easy to ignore it, but she'd learned over the past week that ignoring things tended to make them worse, so she put her hand on Ruby's shoulder, and asked again, "What's wrong. Please. Tell me."
Ruby opened her mouth, and all that came out was a small whimper, "I… I'm sorry, I'm…" She wiped her eyes, "It's nothing."
"Look…" Weiss tried to think of something to say, "How about you sleep with me tonight? Will that make you feel better?" She asked, and she was astonished at how quickly Ruby nodded in agreement, "Then… Ok." She felt awkward as she got into her bed, and Ruby crawled in right behind her, and she felt even more incredibly awkward as Ruby gripped her arm like a lifeline, holding it tightly to herself as she tried not to cry.
"Thank you," Ruby managed to whimper out, still softly crying.
"It's not a problem," Weiss lied. Honestly, she was glad that this way it was fairly easy to keep tabs on Ruby, but on the other hand, she doubted she was going to get any sleep tonight with how Ruby was softly crying and holding her. Now Ruby was practically wrapping her entire body around hers in a hug. She wanted to lash out and tell Ruby to stop, but she knew that Ruby thrived on personal contact with people, and without her sister there to help her through this, it fell on her to help Ruby now.
She tried not to sigh as she worried about how she would do anything tomorrow after a night of no sleep, but… She yawned, Ruby's warmth certainly felt very nice at least. She glanced at Ruby, whose eyes were struggling to stay open, and she seemed to be losing the fight with sleep. Not even a couple of minutes later, Ruby was fast asleep, still holding onto her like her life depended on it.
Weiss just looked at Ruby's face, and felt her own eyes drifting close… Too bad she wasn't going to get sleep, because… This actually felt pretty nice. She closed her eyes.
Sleep came far easier than she expected.
XxXxXxX
Ruby opened her eyes, blinking a few times to clear them, and she noticed she was looking right at Weiss's face. There was a momentary panic as she tried to recall just why Weiss was in the same bed as her, but then the last night came flooding back in her mind, and she felt tears coming to her eyes – Weiss saw her attempting to commit suicide, that's right… And then afterwards, before they went to bed, Ruby asked to sleep with her, desperately not wanting to be alone, and amazingly the usually stuck-up girl agreed.
All of that had somehow led to her sleeping like a rock. Perhaps it was only exhaustion from weeks of getting only a couple of hours of sleep, but even then, having someone who cared so much about her being with her did wonders for her. Holding Weiss reminded her of when Yang would always be there when she cried after her mother died, and how often they'd sleep together then too…
… And now Yang was dead, and Weiss was doing the exact same thing for her. She bit her bottom lip as tears gently cascaded down her face, not wanting to alert or wake up Weiss beside her. She lifted up an arm to wipe away her tears, and she spotted the bandages that Weiss wrapped around her wrists. She just stared for the longest time, realizing that it was going to scar, and people would always know what she tried to do…
Even worse than that though was the urge to go back into the bathroom and go through with it this time, despite knowing that Weiss didn't want her to go through with it… Despite knowing that Weiss depended on her. She felt a crushing guilt, and looked away from the heiress's face, not wanting to feel this immense guilt. Slowly she got out of the bed, and looked out the window, seeing the sun steadily beginning to rise.
"What are you doing?" Weiss asked, causing Ruby to jump, "You've better not be planning to do anything stupid again."
Ruby glanced back at Weiss, and her voice got caught in her throat. She wanted to say something to her – lie to her that she wasn't even thinking about it, but nothing came out. She felt like she had no control of her body, and she just started to tremble again, "I…" She couldn't form any coherent words, and just started to cry again. She tried to wipe her tears, but they wouldn't leave.
"It's alright, it'll be ok." Weiss whispered to her, she touched Ruby's arm, and that seemed to calm Ruby down.
Ruby stopped shaking, and she nodded, "I know… I know."
"So…" Weiss sat on the edge of the bed, just watching Ruby now, "What do you want to do today?"
"Don't you have classes to go to?" Ruby asked instead, wiping her eyes of the tears that still remained.
Weiss slowly nodded, but then she just shrugged, "I can miss a day or two of classes."
Ruby looked back towards her with wide eyes, "You're skipping?"
"Why do you sound so surprised? You've been doing it for over a week now." Weiss replied casually, leaning back on her bed, and she absently noted that there was still some dried blood on her night gown.
"But… You never miss class for anything." Ruby muttered, "Don't miss it on my account."
Weiss sighed, "Ruby, this is a bit more important than classes, don't you think?"
"What is?"
"Don't play dumb," Weiss snapped, "You need help, and do you honestly think I'm going to leave you alone after that stunt you pulled last night? If you honestly think that, then you're a bigger idiot than I initially thought!"
"Why don't you just tell Ozpin about it?" Ruby looked down at her wrapped up wrists, and frowned, "I think if he knew what I tried to do, he'd pull me from school immediately…"
"Did you listen to anything I said last night?" Weiss asked, but Ruby could see that the heiress was visibly restraining herself from saying anything harsher than that, "I know you're going through a lot, but you mean a lot to me, and I want to stay as your partner."
Ruby felt butterflies welling up in her stomach, and she averted her eyes with a light flush on her check, "You… Actually meant that?"
"Of course I did! Do you think I'd say something like that and not mean it?!" Weiss exclaimed. She rolled her eyes and stood up, "Anyway, I'm going to change."
"I thought you said you weren't going to go to classes." Ruby pointed out.
"That's true, but I refuse to be cooped up in this room all day. You have to be tired of all of this too, right?" She waved her hand around their dorm, "You haven't left this place in ever since the mission, don't you want to stretch your legs?"
"I… I don't know." Ruby muttered, standing up and looking out the window.
"Are you afraid or something?" Weiss asked as got up and dug through her dresser for some clothing, "No one's going to hurt you, if that's got you worried."
"What about these?" She lifted up her wrists, "I – I don't want people seeing this." She muttered fearfully, "And I don't want to hear people talking about me. What if they say something about me?"
"Then you ignore it." Weiss replied, "Look. I'm not going to lie. People have heard about what happened, and they know you've been alone in here for a while, so a lot of people probably will talk about you when they see you, but that can change over time."
Ruby hugged herself, and looked fearfully at Weiss, "I don't know… I just want to be alone…"
"Enough lying," Weiss replied, walking right up to Ruby and flicking her on the forehead, "What will you do if I leave you alone, huh? Will you just stay in your bed and cry all day? Do you really want to do that?"
"Shut up!" Ruby cried, stepping back from Weiss, "Why do you care?!"
Weiss rubbed her forehead, "Alright. If you don't want to go out, then I won't force you, but I think it's a good idea." She walked pass Ruby, "In any rate, I'm going to go take a shower. You just stay out here and decide on what you really want to do."
Ruby just sat back down on Weiss's bed, and grit her teeth as more tears just seemed to come out of her eyes. For the past week, it seemed like all she could do was cry, and honestly she was beginning to get tired of it. Ruby wanted to go and do something, but every time she tried, the horrible guilt of what she did to Yang would come back, followed up quickly by a horrible fear of how others saw her now… They all probably thought she murdered Yang herself. No doubt they would whisper about her and hate her.
Weiss would be there though, and she trusted her more than anyone else in her life right now, especially after she tearfully saved her last night. She didn't know how honest Weiss was when it came to how she felt last night, but it all certainly seemed genuine, and Ruby could really use someone who cared about her right now. "I won't push her away…" She decided quietly to herself.
Nearly a half hour later, Weiss came out of the bathroom, and she looked to Ruby. "You can take a shower now. Make sure to wash your wrists, and to make sure you don't do anything stupid, I'm going to be in there waiting at the sink."
"But -!" Ruby's eyes widened and a blush crossed her cheeks.
"Just go in the shower and take your clothes off in there and give them to me, and I'll get you something to wear. Don't worry, it'll have long sleeves – that is, of course, if you want to leave the room today." Weiss explained.
"I – I do." Ruby nodded her head, and she saw a glimmer of approval in Weiss's eyes, "Can we get something to eat first?"
"Yeah, sure, but I'm not going anywhere with you while you smell this bad, so you're going to take a shower." Weiss followed Ruby into the bathroom, and she just stared at her.
"You… You weren't serious about being in here while I'm showering, were you?" Ruby asked.
"Why would I lie?" Weiss asked, sounding more annoyed than anything, "Now get in the shower and throw me your clothes when you get them off. Don't worry, I won't look!"
"But this is really embarrassing!" Ruby exclaimed, her cheeks turning even brighter red, "I don't need you to babysit me!"
"Oh? These past ten days say otherwise, and after last night I'm not going to let you be in here alone no matter what you say, so go!" Weiss ushered Ruby into the shower stall, and then closed the screen door.
Ruby wanted to be mad at Weiss for forcing her to do something like this, but another part of her was secretly glad that Weiss was going through this much trouble for her. The reasons were twofold: First, she still had a small part of her mind saying to go through with what she tried to do last night, and with Weiss here, that part of her mind was effectively nullified. Secondly, and more importantly, it truly showed how much Weiss truly cared about her that she was going through all of this trouble for her.
She took off her clothes, and then opened the screen very slightly to give her tank-top and pajama pants to Weiss, and then she shut the screen door immediately. She still had a small blush on her cheeks as she turned on the water, and started to clean herself. She made sure to wash her eyes and face to rid herself of the remaining tears and to try and get the puffiness of her eyes to go down some, and then she started to wash her wrists gently, her mood dropping significantly as she saw how horrible the cuts were on her.
Three straight cuts across her wrist on her right arm, and five on her left wrist. It was easier to hold the razor with her dominant hand, hence more cuts on her left arm. She felt like crying, realizing that these marks would never leave her for the rest of her life, but she pushed aside her sadness for now, and washed them, wincing as the water cleaned the wound. After lathering her hair with shampoo and cleaning it, and then getting her entire body washed, she went to leave, but then she noticed blood still on her hands.
Yang's blood… For some reason, it refused to go away. She tried in vain to scrub it away, but her hands were still red no matter what she did. She tried over and over, but nothing worked. She clenched her hands shut, and grit her teeth as she started to recall the horrible memories yet again… Holding Yang's body, crying out her name… Yang's death was all her fault… Why did it have to happen?
"Ruby? You almost done?"
Ruby snapped out of her thoughts, and saw that the blood was now gone, and she let out a sigh of relief. It would reappear soon enough, since it never truly went away, but for now at least she could leave the shower. "Um… Did you get my clothes?"
"I'm holding them right here," Weiss confirmed, "Turn the water off and I'll hand you a towel so you can dry yourself, and then I'll give you the clothes."
"This is making things so much more complicated then they need to be," Ruby complained, but she turned the shower off regardless, and opened the screen door a crack and held out her hand. She felt Weiss put a towel in her hand, and soon she was drying off. Minutes later, she finally left the shower fully clothed, and true to Weiss's words, she wore a long-sleeve shirt to hide her wrists.
"Give me your hands," Weiss said as Ruby got closer to the sink, "We need to put some gauze over the wounds just in case." Ruby complied, and soon she had two new bandages wrapping around her damaged wrists, "Feel better?"
"Yeah," Ruby answered truthfully, "Better than I have in a few days."
"I can tell," Weiss replied, "You've talked more today than you have all week… It's honestly quite refreshing."
Ruby frowned, "I'm sorry…"
"None of that," Weiss waved it off, "You're hungry, right? We ought to go get something to eat, and then we can plan on what to do from there, does that sound good to you?" She walked towards the door and opened it up to their dorm room, and Ruby followed right behind her.
"Y – Yeah…" Ruby muttered, a big lump forming inside of her as they walked towards the door leading out into the hall.
Weiss seemed to catch her worried expression, because she held out her hand, "Will this make it easier for you?"
Ruby gratefully took the girl's hand, and the feeling lessened somewhat. She didn't expect it to go away completely, but again, it was nice to be with someone who cared. It reminded her of her first day of attending Beacon, when she had no friends and wanted to stay with Yang… She immediately stopped thinking of that. "This will make it a little easier, thank you."
"Then let's go." Weiss replied, opening the door and leading Ruby through the halls.
