Story title: Silence

Chapter title: I'm Not Broken

Rating: T

Warnings: Mentions of rape


When I woke up. The first thing I noticed was the pain. The second thing was that the man was gone, and so were the bonds. I slowly sat up. I was a bit dizzy and in a lot of pain, but it wasn't unbearable. I looked down at myself. I was naked. My wrists were black and blue and there was dried blood on the grass beneath me. I could guess where that blood came from. My clothes were next to me. My shirt was ripped apart, but my swimming trunks and pants were still intact. I grabbed them and tried to put them on, but thought the better of it when a sharp pain shot through my back. It seemed my worst injuries were where I couldn't see them.

I looked around me. I was in the park. As I had expected, it was a few minutes away from the place I had been attacked. I realized I had to get away from this place; nobody passed through the park in the morning, so if I stayed here, I might not be found until school was done and the students would come here to hang around with friends. It was still early, around four I guessed, so no one would pass by anytime soon. I tried to stand up, but I felt my legs giving way beneath me, so I crawled.

I had only crawled a few meters when I heard someone approaching. I turned my head to see a student walking towards me. He was wearing headphones and reading a book. He clearly hadn't seen me yet. I tried to scream "help me", but my voice wouldn't come out. He came closer and closer. He still didn't see me. I crawled to the side of the road and pulled his trousers when he passed by me. He finally looked up from his book and dropped it when he saw me. "Are you alright?"

I tried to say that it was quite obvious I wasn't, but again, my voice wouldn't come out. He took of his jacket and put it around me. I was grateful to him; I hadn't noticed it before, but I was really cold. Then he let his bag shift off his back and started rummaging in it. He found his mobile phone quite quickly and called the police.

"Hello? I found a naked man here. I think he was raped. What? Ah, yes, he is conscious." His voice was trembling. "No, I don't know him. Yes, I'll ask. Yes, thank you" He put the phone away and squatted next to me. "Uhm...hello?" he said carefully "The ambulance is on it's way, it'll be here in no time. Can you tell me your name?" By now, I had realized I couldn't talk for some reason. I pointed at my throat and mouthed "I can't speak" in the hope of getting the message across. "Is something wrong with your voice?" I nodded. He grabbed his bag again and this time pulled out a pencil and a notebook. "Can you write it down?" As an answer, I took them and wrote down my name.

Nanase Haruka

"Nanase Haruka?" I nodded. "Well, Nanase-kun, is there something I can do for you? Do you want something to drink?" I nodded again and he pulled out a bottle of water from his bag and gave it to me. The cold water felt heavenly against my sore throat. When I gave back the bottle, it was half-empty.

We sat there silently for a few minutes; he not knowing what to say, I unable to speak. Then the ambulance finally arrived. A man got out and checked if I had broken anything, then he and the student helped me up and into the ambulance, where someone immediately wrapped a warm blanket around me. The man got out again to pick up my clothes and then the ambulance started moving. During the ride, the student told them what I had told them. Then they started asking me questions about my health and if there was someone that needed to be contacted. I answered them the best I could using the notebook I still was holding.

When we arrived at the hospital, I immediately got taken inside and was brought to a small room with two police agents and a doctor in it. The first thing they did was take a sample of the semen that still was in my ass. The agents asked me some questions about what happened and who had attacked me, and I wrote down the answers. When they were finished, they left. To my horror, they took the notebook with them, saying that they needed it. Now I was left without a way to communicate.

A nurse came in when the doctor called her and she took me to a shower. She let me sit down on a special chair and washed me. I realized that it wasn't by chance a female nurse had come in. No one would like to be washed by a male nurse after being raped by someone of the same gender, especially when some 'private spots' had to be cleaned. After the shower, I felt clean. I had never thought that being clean could feel so good.

The nurse gave me some white underwear she had picked from a closet and brought me back to the doctor (who was female too by the way). The doctor cleaned and bandaged my wounds and put ointment on the bruises that had formed. The nurse appeared again when she was finished, this time with a hospital gown. I put it on while the doctor explained that I had probably lost quite a bit of blood, and I would be given a IV to make sure I would be alright. They wanted to test me on STDs and HIV as well before discharging me. They took some blood for that and the nurse put me in a wheelchair (although I was quite sure I could walk now) and rode me to a small, single person room and put me in bed.

A little later, two nurses came in. One gave me a sketchbook and a pen, thank God and the other brought an IV. She put the needle in my wrist while she told me that no signs of STDs had been found, though I would have to wait about a week for the definitive results. I took the sketchbook and pen from the other nurse.

Thank you

"You're welcome" she said, smiling. "You'd better try to get some sleep, you look tired." I nodded and put the sketchbook next to the bed on some kind of metal nightstand on wheels. The nurses left and I laid down. I thought about what happened and my reaction to it. Other people would probably cry and scream when it would happen to them. I hadn't screamed or cried. They said people often felt ashamed and filthy afterwards, but I had only felt filthy, and that feeling had disappeared after I had showered.

What has happened has happened, there is no use crying over spilled milk. Why would people be overly emotional about it? It had somehow still gotten to me though; what the doctor had said had made it clear that my silence wasn't caused by my injuries. That meant it was probably all psychically. It was weird how something I didn't care about in my head could still affect my body so much. I shifted and tried to fall asleep. It was harder than I had expected; I was craving for a dive in the pool or a soak in the bathtub. I hoped that I'd have a chance later that day. In the end though, I fell asleep.

I woke up only a few hours later. I just suddenly was wide awake, no reason. I didn't feel like sleeping any more, so I took the sketchbook and started drawing. I drew the first thing that came to mind, and that was Iwatobi-chan. Iwatobi-chan was so cute. I decided to make a new design of him, an even cuter one. At first, I made the eyes bigger, like a chibi. It looked horrible.

It took a lot of experimentation, but finally I managed to draw an improved version of the adorable mascot. I had made the wings fluttier, the tummy rounder and put a few loose feathers on his head. I thought it was still recognizable as Iwatobi-chan and it was a lot cuter than the original version. I decided to try to make this the official version of our school's mascot.

I was just thinking about that when I heard someone knocking on the door. I'd like to have said "Come in", but I couldn't, so I stayed quiet and waited for the door to open. All guys from the club had come. How they heard about it, I didn't know. I guessed they had heard from school, I had asked for it to be contacted after all. Makoto looked alright, just a bit nervous, Rei was a bit pale, but also alright. Nagisa didn't look too well though, as if he'd seen a ghost, or three. I knew it was shocking to hear a friend had been raped, but Nagisa was overreacting. I was the one that had been raped and he was more shocked than I was.

I talked for a bit with Makoto and he asked me if I wanted to talk about what happened. The doctor had told me that it would help and I would do a lot to recover my voice faster, so I wrote down that I wanted to. Makoto's pale face told me that was the wrong answer. Of course, no one liked to hear such stories. I was just going to write down that I wouldn't tell if they didn't want to hear it, when Makoto asked me. "Haru-chan, can't you talk?" I nodded. When Makoto's face grew even paler, I realized that he had been shocked by my silence, not my request. "Well, uhm...tell us then" he said, clearly uncomfortable. I started writing. Sentence by sentence, I wrote down what happened. I started with quite a bit of detail, but I left out all detail when I saw Nagisa was close to having a panick attack. It took only a little over half an hour. As soon as I was finished, they left. They said I needed my rest, but I think they needed some time to digest what they just heard, it was quite a heavy story after all.

They left, and I was left alone again. I picked up my sketchbook, but had no inspiration. I put it back and laid down, looking up at the ceiling. I was bored, very bored. Immediately, images of pools and the ocean popped up in my head. I really hoped they'd discharge me soon so I could swim again. I thought of water so long, I could almost feel it. I was almost at the point that I'd start swimming front crawl in the bed when someone knocked on my door again. Two men came in who I recognized as the policemen that had asked me some questions earlier that day.

They both took a seat and stared at me with a dark face. I could tell that it was serious. "We have an idea who might have raped you." I looked at them expectantly. "Well, we don't know his identity, but we think it was a serial rapist." A serial rapist, okay, I didn't see the importance of it all yet. Serial rapist or one-time rapist, what did it matter? "To be more precise, a serial rapist who likes to rape his victims multiple times. One of his other victims was raped five times before we put her under protection." Ah, so that was why it was serious. I picked up my sketchbook and pen.

Is there something I can do about it?

"Just don't walk alone, especially not after dark. Lock your doors and windows, or even better, stay with a friend or some family so you're not alone at night, I heard you were living alone." Then, both policemen stood up. "Sorry, we can't do anything else, except for hope we catch that guy soon."

Thank you

And so, they left. I was alone again. I remembered the student that had found me. I wondered what had happened to him.


Hello everyone! I knew what I wanted to put in this chapter, but I just had no motivation for it. I still finished it quite quickly because of all the follows and two dear reviewers :3 I'd like to reward you two by writing a fanfic for you, but I'm accepting prompts anyway... so it isn't that much of a reward. I'm currently on vacation BTW, so I'm typing this on my iPod. And because auto-correct sucks, I have no spelling checker. To make it even worse: in a few days we're going to switch to a place without wi-fi, so I won't be able to upload anything! But well, you can expect a shitload of chapters when I get back, I hope.

Please tell me if you liked this chapter, since I myself have some mixed feelings about this one.