Chapter Two

"After Hours"

Lucas had a terrible morning. He woke up with every inch of the hangover that he thought he'd have and then some. He was so lethargic it took him nearly twice as long as normal to get ready for the day. Because of that he missed his bus, and had to walk to work. By the time he'd reached Grace Brothers entrance he was ten minutes late. As he began the lift ride up to the third floor, he said a little prayer that the day wouldn't be as terrible as he was anticipating, but he wasn't holding out much hope for this being true.


Captain Peacock was in a right furious state.

He had a backache from sleeping in the spare bed yet again after the 1,764,567th fight he'd had with his wife since their marriage began. She was still angry with him and had refused to make him breakfast, so he had to make due with a bacon butty from Beppos. Then when he got here it was announced that six shipments for both the men and ladies departments had to be put away before the store opening, and because Mr. Lucas was late as usual Peacock had to help out in Menswear.

He looked up from the tie drawer which he was sorting. Mr. Grainger was putting away trousers and Mr. Humphries was hanging up jackets. He looked over at the Ladies counter, where Mrs. Slocombe and Miss Brahms were busy putting things away with Mr. Harman assisting them in their efforts.

If Mr. Lucas had been on time for once, he could be over there assisting the ladies… and how interesting that would be… especially as Miss Brahms was bending over to put away the knickers.

Just then the lift doors opened and Mr. Lucas ran out onto the floor. With unveiled anger, Captain Peacock strode over to him.

"Mr. Lucas! Where have you been?!"

Lucas shuddered, he knew he had to think fast and he had to be original.

"I'm sorry I'm late Captain Peacock," Lucas let his gaze roam wildly over the floor for a moment. His eyes falling upon Mrs. Slocombe (her hair was both pink and purple today), he cobbled together a quick story.

"But you see, as I was crossing the park I saw this woman being assaulted in the hedges. She was a matronly lass with brightly colored hair and I swear to you sir, I thought it was our Mrs. Slocombe. 'Don't move!' I shouted, 'I'll be right there to save you, Mrs. Slocombe!' So I rushed over to help, but when I got there I saw that it was a re-enactment of a Sufi battle and it was really a soldier being tackled. They took me as one of them. To escape, I had to nick a scarf from one of them and sashay off into the crowd.

By the time I got myself extracted from the skirmish, I was very nearly late. Then when I got here, I met Mr. Grace on the ground floor, who, upon seeing the scarf still around my head decided to interrogate me about how business was doing back home. I tried to explain that I am Mr. Lucas and that I had to get upstairs, but I couldn't make him understand. I've only just got away."

Captain Peacock looked highly doubtful about this story, but at least his anger seemed to be fading. He didn't say anything to Lucas, he just made an imperious sweep of his hand toward the men's counter. Lucas bobbed his head and smiled at the dismissal and headed over to the Men's counter where Mr. Humphries waited. Mr. Humphries, dapper as ever, had finished hanging the jackets and was re-stocking the handkerchief drawer. He smiled at Mr. Lucas as he approached.

"You've managed to skirt trouble again, I see. You're just lucky that Peacock is in too much pain to deal with anything properly today or else you'd find yourself right in front of Rumbold."

"You mean it?"

"Of course, he was ever so angry this morning about having to help out behind the Men's counter with the re-stocking."

Lucas shook his head. "So that was why he barked at me even more than usual?"

"You know what he's like. He thinks he's too good to be assisting. Oh, here he comes now. Here," Mr. Humphries passed him the tie drawer. "You re-stock the ties. I'll help you when I finish this."

Mr. Lucas smiled at Mr. Humphries. Mr. Humphries was one of the few people in the store he knew would always treat him kindly. Mr. Humphries treated everyone kindly, but he knew that Mr. Humphries genuinely liked him. So, with the shadow of an upset Peacock hanging over him, Lucas set to work sorting the ties and putting them away.

He was able to work well for about an hour, then the room began to tilt and his head began to pound. He let out a deep sigh and pressed his hand to his forehead.

"What's wrong?" Mr. Humphries asked from next to him.

"I can feel the blood rushing to my head. I've got a terrible hangover and it's only half past ten. I don't think I'll make the day."

"Well, I think I can help. Do you see Captain Peacock or Mr. Grainger around?"

Mr. Lucas looked all around, but he couldn't see either of them around. "All clear"

Mr. Humphries reached up and began to massage Mr. Lucas's temples in a slow, circular motion. It felt wonderfully soothing and calming as the pain began to disappear.

"That's wonderful, Mr. Humphries."

Mr. Humphries giggled and then frowned. Mr. Lucas was still looking peaky and drawn. He needed a pick-me-up, and Mr. Humphries could get it for him.

"You look subdued still. I know just the thing for you. Keep a watch out for me."

Mr. Humphries patted Lucas's hand and slowly slunk over to the Ladies counter to where Mrs. Slocombe stood folding handkerchiefs. She looked rather glum as he approached, but brightened when she saw him.

"Why Mr. Humphries, what brings you to our neck of the woods? I would have thought that you had quite enough to be getting on with to come and visit us."

"Well, our stock was mainly jackets and trousers, so we got mostly everything put away early on. Now we have just ties, socks, and handkerchiefs to put away. With our Mr. Lucas with us at last the job is going much more smoothly. Actually, Mrs. Slocombe, I wanted a word with you."

"You see, I'm feeling a bit knackered, and I wondered if you had anything tucked away to perk me up a bit?" He said, giving his most winning smile.

Mrs. Slocombe, in turn, gave him a wry smile of her own, "I have just the thing."

She moved over to her drawers, quickly looked around for Captain Peacock, and discreetly pulled out a small vial and handed it to him.

"I have a few more if you need them."

Mr. Humphries took it eagerly. "Thanks, love. You're a life-saver." And he gave her a small kiss on the cheek.

"Mr. Humphries! I trust that you are not lost?" Captain Peacock had seen them and had stealthily come over to investigate.

"Oh no, Captain Peacock, I assure you I am not lost. We ran out of chalk and maintenance has a couple of stops to make before it can be delivered, so, of course, I came over to borrow some."

"And why did you not wait for Mr. Harman to bring it to you?"

"Why, what if a customer had come in before Mr. Harman got back, needing alterations. We wouldn't be able to perform them and the customer might take his business elsewhere."

Peacock was silent at this. It's true that if the store would have lost money the fault would have been his. Also, as the most amiable member of staff, Mr. Humphries would have been able to gloss over any bad feelings and short tempers because of the load that had been dropped on them all. Yes, best to just leave this be for now.

"Very well, Mr. Humphries. But don't dawdle gossiping."

Humphries left the counter and hurried back to where Mr. Lucas was waiting, but not before grabbing a glass of water first. He handed both the vial and the glass to Lucas.

"Here. It's brandy. Take alternating sips, but do it slowly. And remember, Mrs. Slocombe has plenty more if you need it."

Lucas did as he was told and found that he instantly felt better drinking the way Mr. Humphries had told him. When he was finished, Humphries took the glass back.

"There now, feeling better?"

"Boy, I'll say. Where did you learn that particular remedy?"

Mr. Humphries gave him an enigmatic smile. "There was a time in my life when I needed cures like that to get through the day."

"Oh yeah, when was this then?"

"Last Thursday."

Lucas laughed heartily, there always was a lot more to Mr. Humphries than met the eye. Lucas didn't think it would be possible to learn everything about him if you knew him for a hundred years. But he always thought it might be fun to try.

The day moved forward slowly, and awfully. Lucas had a customer who came in and tried on four complete suits, but only bought two handkerchiefs and a pair of Y-fronts. After that mess it was time for lunch. He ordered his favorite comfort food – chicken and leek pie. But it was about as far from comforting as it was possible to get. The afternoon only brought him a sale of two shirts and three pairs of gloves, while his compatriots got much more satisfying hauls. But that was to be expected when Mr. Grainger and Mr. Humphries got first chance to serve.

At long last, the day was finished. Lucas was covering up the counters, ready to be done with this day. Across the way, Miss Brahms was talking to Mrs. Slocombe about a date she had that night and she sounded excited. Lucas was glad for her. That didn't mean that he was giving up on her, but it was nice to hear her so happy for a change. Mr. Humphries approached him as he was straightening the covers, lest Mr. Grainger have his ass for it.

"Still feeling alright?"

"Yeah," Lucas said with a smile. "I feel good."

"Well, listen I know you haven't had the best day, so I was wondering if you'd like to come out for a drink with me?"

Lucas felt the sky clear. That was the best offer he'd had all day. He was about to say yes when the phone rang.

"Menswear?" Mr. Humphries always lowered his voice several octaves for the greeting. "Oh hello, yes he's here. Hang on." Mr. Humphries held the phone out to Lucas. "It's for you, it's Jeanette."

Lucas repressed a sigh and took the phone. He listened to Jeanette for a few seconds and, against his better judgment, agreed to meet her at a small café in a half-hour. He sighed as he hung up the phone. He gave a sorrowful look to Mr. Humphries.

"I guess I'll have to take a rain check on that drink."

"Of course," Humphries said, with no trace of bad feeling. "I'll be waiting tomorrow to hear all about your date tonight."

The closing bell rang and they all headed up to the lift and climbed in, with Lucas bringing up the rear. Outside of the doors they all separated, shouting goodbyes to each other. Lucas climbed onto the bus that would take him to the café to meet Jeanette instead of the one that would take him to the pub with Mr. Humphries. He thought, as he sat down, that he would much rather have been on the way to the pub with Mr. Humphries.