I Will Follow You Into The Dark
By: Myself, and a very close friend. She's the one who got me obsessed with Mello/Matt. Blame her, not me! xD We wrote this together—while I was in charge of being Mello's 'Narrator', she was Matt's 'Narrator'.
July 10, 2007
Rating: PG-13 / R
(For suggestive themes, language, and possible sexual situations—This may change over time)
Disclamer Neither she nor I own any of the Death Note characters. The title of this story as well as the title of the chapters are all Death Cab for Cutie song titles-all lyrics and such belong to them.
Author's Notes:
This may contain a few spoilers, guys. If you haven't read books 8-12ish…I would suggest doing so. Unless you don't mind spoilers.
Chapter 2
Your Bruise
Matt had fallen asleep sometime late that night. He wasn't able to get much rest. Through the night he feared that if he were to go to sleep he would wind up back in his bed, in his little apartment back in New York. He was afraid that it had all been just a dream…Mello's touch, his scent, his awkward little half-smile that Matt found so adorable. He was afraid that Mello wasn't really there in his arms. He fell asleep right there in that chair, holding Mello's hand with his head rested against his shoulder.
It wasn't until day broke that Mello woke up again. His eyes opened and instantly he recognized the feeling of warmth that only two tightly clasped hands can provide. Well this certainly was better than waking up all alone. Mello had been stuck in that hospital for awhile before Matt finally had come to see him. Just how long he had been in their care, he wasn't sure. Time seemed…irrelevant in that place. The pain wasn't so unbearable these days, even though it was still difficult even to shift his posture in bed. When would he be able to take off those damn bandages, anyway? They were driving him crazy. If anything, they were the reason he couldn't move around much. After much struggling, he managed to sit himself up, carefully pulling Matt closer and moving his head to rest upon his lap.
"I never…asked you how you found me…" He murmured; his voice raspy and hoarse with disuse. It hadn't been a question that felt extremely important to ask the other night. What mattered was that he was there. What mattered was that he could finally see him. He stroked Matt's head lightly, sifting his fingers through his hair and waiting for him to finally wake.
Matt slowly shifted in his sleep, burying his face against Mello's leg. Soon, he opened his eyes and looked up at Mello in wonderment. Sitting up, he took hold of the other's hand and placed the other to rest sportingly behind Mello's lower back. "Mello….Are you sure you're allowed to be up like this? Can I get anything for you?"
"I'm just fine. It's been at least a few weeks. By all accounts I should be out of here." Mello bit at him defensively. He was irritable—as anyone would be who was stuck in the hospital. He was taking it out on the wrong person, though, wasn't he? "I-…sorry..." He mumbled, leaning closer to lean against Matt's chest. He wanted out of this place. He was tired of being treated, tired of sitting in that room and on that bed.
"I know…" Matt said, stroking Mello's blonde hair, combing his fingers gently through it. "I don't blame you…" Kissing the top of his head he carefully wrapped his arms around him. Try as he might, Matt couldn't help staring at him and his body with hard eyes. "So…how bad are the burns?"
Mello shook his head; he didn't know much about them accept they hurt like hell for the longest time. "They've only removed the bandages once or twice to check the wound and clean it. I haven't been able to take off the bandages myself yet.." The temptation was nagging at him to do so, however.
He wanted to see just how badly his carelessness had damaged him. The blonde buried himself into the other's embrace; taking in long breaths of the other's scent—that smell of carelessly applied cologne...It should have given him a headache, but it made him feel happy…Just knowing that Matt was really there.
Matt buried his face into Mello's hair, so thankful for being able to hold his dearest friend like this. "Mello…" He sighed, "You've grown so much. Nine years is too long, you know…" He ran his hands up and down Mello's back, feeling another wave of emotion course through him. "I missed you…a lot.." He murmured. But merely saying that just wasn't enough for him. Somehow it didn't seem to get the point across…But he didn't want to hurt Mello…He wouldn't. He would have to be content with what he was currently able to do.
"I missed you too." Mello quickly replied, clinging tighter to Matt. He pulled away to glance up at him; Once again, that guilty knot forming in the pit of his stomach. "How did you find out I was here, anyway?" He asked, quick to find a chance to change the subject. He would rather not have been reminded of leaving Matt behind. He already felt bad enough; and it was hard pretending he felt it wasn't that big of a deal. Of course, it was only Matt who could make him feel this way. It was only Matt who could make him actually feel bad about doing something, or make him believe he might have been wrong for once.
"I got a hold of Near and made him tell me." Matt said. "I never thought, though…that you would be this badly injured." He held Mello closely to him and frowned. "I wish I was there to protect you, like I'd always been…It was that damned Kira, wasn't it? Near told me all about it…"
"Near…" Damnit. Would Mello actually have to thank that little bastard for something, now? Well…He was rather grateful—and it came as no surprise that Near knew what happened and where he was. "Kira…He found out where I was hiding out. I didn't have any choice but to blow up the damn place." He admitted begrudgingly. It was going to be tough functioning without the convenience of that headquarters for awhile.
Matt nodded and held Mello closer. There was a very long silence; silence that seemed like a lifetime. Matt didn't mind, though. As long as he was with Mello, it wasn't an important concept. But there was still something he wanted to know. "Mello…why did you leave? Without me…?" He already knew why he left, but he just didn't understand why he left without him. It especially hurt that he left without a goodbye and that he didn't even keep in touch. Why, when he knew he felt so strongly for him?
How could he answer something like that? Sure, Mello knew the answer, or at least he was convinced that he did. Yet it sounded stupid when he thought of how to tell the other. "I didn't want you to have to follow me. You were happy at Wammy's house, weren't you? I just didn't want to ruin that." He sighed, staring downward. This was harder than he thought it would be… "I thought that you might be happier staying there. I had to find out who Kira was and capture him…" Before Near did… Again that knot appeared—He was just being selfish, and he knew it. Saying that he was doing it for Matt was just bullshit. He wanted to believe that's what it was…but that was only to justify his actions when he stormed out of Wammy's House.
Matt would have followed him to the ends of the Earth, and he knew it.
They both would have been much happier as well, no doubt. Unfortunately, saying he was wrong and simply moving on was just too easy. "Matt…I would've said goodbye. But it would've been too hard."
Matt nodded slowly and sighed. "It's alright, Mello. I'm not mad at you. I just wanted an answer. No more goodbyes, promise?" Matt didn't know what he'd do if Mello took off without him like that again. He would defiantly find him again, but only with much more of a broken heart.
Mello paused and looked away, his eyes upon the window yet again. Yes, no more goodbyes would be needed. They would be together from now on. "Then…will you help me? Help me capture Kira." He was afraid to look Matt in the eyes, as if Matt would refuse this request. Of course, he should have known what the answer would really be. For some reason he was skeptical, but he shouldn't have doubted Matt.
Matt held him closer still and a smile creased his lips without hesitation. "Of course I will." He could hardly believe it—he finally had Mello back, and it would stay that way as long as they both lived on. He lightly kissed the side of his head, combing fingers through his hair yet again. Suddenly the words just came out: "I love you, Mello." He had never said that to him…That kind of thing was always something they just knew. It didn't have to be said. Now that he had, it felt so much more significant than he ever thought it would be.
Mello's heart jumped at the words—they were unexpected to say in the very least. Mello wasn't at all disappointed, of course. His eyes slowly shut and his arms found their way around Matt's waist. "I love you too, Matt." He'd always loved him—they always loved each other. Matt was the only one who ever really understood him or really cared for him. It was only natural for him to have grown to love his childhood friend so much.
Now he couldn't wait to get out of this place; he would no doubt spend every second of his time with mat or with Matt on his mind. With the two of them working together as well—there was no way Near would win. At the moment…he didn't want to think about Near or Kira, though. He sighed and nuzzled Matt's chest carefully. "I'm getting out of here soon. I'll never leave you again, ok?"
Matt nodded again and pulled away from Mello just a little, smiling softly. "Okay." Brushing the hair from his eyes, Matt leaned in again and gently kissed him, mindful of his injuries, still.
Even if he had managed to hurt him, Mello would have purposely paid no mind to it. Though, it felt as if any pain he might have experienced completely vanished. He kissed the other back, feeling completely limp in his embrace. He could never figure out quite what it was about Matt that made him feel this way. One thing was for sure, he had missed this feeling. He pulled away for a brief moment, but was ready to delve into another breath taking kiss.
However, their moment was interrupted by a knock on the door. A nurse came in, smiling brightly with that pleasantly plump face of hers.
"So sorry, but I'm afraid that visiting hours for you were up a long time ago, sir." She giggled, eying the happy couple with welcoming eyes. "Mr. Mello, the doctor will also be seeing you today."
Mello sighed and frowned, looking deeply annoyed. "Alright, fine. We'll be finished in a moment." He grumbled. The nurse, unfazed by his loathsome tone, beamed at them once more before bowing and making her exit.
Matt couldn't help but to smile and slowly shook his head. "That nurse really isn't so bad. I actually wasn't supposed to stay the night. I wouldn't want to overstay my welcome." He stood up and gathered his things to go. When he was ready he turned back to Mello and wrapped his arms around him. "I'll get you a box of chocolates next time I see you, alright? I love you." With that, he deeply kissed him and said his goodbyes.
"I'll hold you to that." Mello spoke, arching a brow with a light smirk as he watched Matt leave. Now he couldn't wait for ..the next day to come.
It wasn't until an hour or so later when the doctor finally showed up. He attempted to make small talk, but Mello seemed relatively uninterested. "Well, let's take a peak under these bandages. The scar tissue should have settled by now…" He slowly removed the bandages, and Mello was relieved that he could finally see out of his left eye. "Hm…Well...it healed better than I thought it would." He murmured.
"Let me see." Mello demanded, his brows furrowing. That tone the doctor had…he didn't like it.
"I'm not so sure that's a good idea. Keep in mind that it is still healing-"
"Just give me a goddamn mirror!" Mello growled, clenching the sheets, his teeth gnashing. The doctor sighed and stood, walking to the cabinets at the other end of the room, opening them and sifting through it's contents. He found a mirror and slowly walked back to his patient, holding it out for Mello to take hold of. Mello grabbed it without hesitation, seeking his reflection with his eager eyes.
He was at a loss for words.
This couldn't be right. This wasn't him….His eyes widened as he felt along the previously wrapped skin. "This…No this can't—What the hell happened!" He dropped the mirror onto the bed and began ripping at the rest of the bandages on his body. He had to see the rest of the damage. The doctor tried in vain to stop him, but Mello only shoved him away.
"Please, it isn't as bad as it might seem…It is still healing an—"
"Get out!" Mello screamed, "Shut up, and get out!" The doctor jumped, trying to reason with his patient, but nothing he could say would calm the enraged man. Mello grabbed for the closest thing to him, and his fingers curled about the mirror's handle. He threw it as hard as he could at the doctor, and it shattered into pieces upon the floor with a deafening crash. "Get the hell out now!"
Finally…the room was empty. Mello turned away from the door, his reflection in the broken pieces of the mirror staring back at him. He could now see the full extent of the injury. It was a gruesome scar; trailing from his face to his shoulders.
Hideous…that was all that came to mind.
