There's a promise we must make

A week later, it was John who woke Sherlock from his nightmares. John was lying awake when he heard the first shout, at first he thought he was hearing things, that sometimes happens when you go to war but when he heard the cry that followed he knew that Sherlock was in a disturbed dream. John ran into the detectives room and heard him crying repeatedly

"I promised, I promised"

"Sherlock, Sherlock, look at me" John kneeled down like Sherlock had done before him. Sherlock woke; his blue eyes were crystal, the tears making them shiny

"I made him a promise, and I broke it" John wrapped his arms around Sherlock as the detective had done before

But the riches will be plenty

John crawled into the bed and wrapped Sherlock in his arms making sure that the detective knew he was safe

"It was a good price for the stash" John knew that he was referring to his drugs

"Many dealers cost a lot; he didn't because he knew how much I wanted to be able to numb my mind but also how I was on a budget"

"Sherlock…"

"You never consider how high the price is for something when you know how rewarding it will be at the end" Sherlock whispered sadly,

"Everything, it all faded and all numbed. I was no longer worried about life, it was plenty to help me, it was plenty but I didn't know when to stop"

Worth the risk, and chances we had to take

"It was a risk" Sherlock continued

"With Mycroft breathing down my neck, doing drugs was a risk but god John the relief I felt when I got them. Everything dissolved, every worry or fear I had just drifted away like stars in the morning, only returning when it goes dark"

"Sherlock it's ok"

"But it's not John, I over dosed on drugs to stop my mind from annoying me anymore and if I had died, I would have died not knowing you"

"When did you stop?" John asked, not sure wither he wanted to know the answer

"Just after we met, after doing the case with you, I knew we had a friendship and I wasn't prepared to throw that away"

Use that pride in our hearts to lift us up, to tomorrow

"Knowing you, knowing that there was someone out there who cared, it gave me something that I had lost"

"What?"

"Hope John, it gave me hope again and it helped me get up everything morning and fight the new day"

Cause to sit still would be a sin

"Ignoring the drugs killed me, both mentally and physically"

"You didn't have to do it alone"

"I didn't, when you went to Dublin or where ever I got Molly Hooper to help me, we came up with ways to distract but to sit and do nothing I knew would rip me apart"

"Of course, but its ok"

"To sit and waste away what we had John would be a sin, to sit and not go on cases with you and not get to know you like I have would never be forgivable"

I know where I'm going; Lord knows I know where I've been

"Sherlock, I love you, don't ever forget that"

"We can only go one way from here" Sherlock whispered, entwining Johns hand with his own and kissing it

"Forward, we can't go back, too many ghosts"

"Yes, too many ghosts, we need to keep marching forward"

"When you know where you've been, and what you've seen or what you've done, going forward seems like a nice idea"